suicide note for isis

above your wheat sheaf crown
entwined with serpents
in the air beside your gown
letters float
e clings to your breast
moments from your tongue
delicious
and i so hungry these thirty years

learned daddy's alphabet at two
what else could i do
but make a monkey bar poem
a monkey bar jail
with my tin pail
my rattle wired with mommy's bones
words clanged down

prizes only made me sadder
but the bonfire saddest of all
and i just
have to
dear sweet frieda goodbye goodbye
my darling baby nicholas

tape and wet towels
two glasses of milk
slices of bread and butter
blankets
open windows

now in the freezing hallway
my blue fist holds the postage
for tomorrow's cancellations
you shake your hair
shower seeds
a new alphabet sprouts quiet
and polite
no shouting or crying out
let us
may we
pray allow us to…

i open my mouth and eat them

i climb the stairs

my face lies safe on the oven rack
babies warm in their windy room
notes mailed
one pinned to the pram