i remember joan and me in her kitchen
seeking relief from lonely motherhood
tea in china cups stirred with tiny spoons
our sons walking under the table
we would lay the spoons down
and pick them up and lay them down again
in that kitchen her husband
put the muzzle of a gun into his mouth
some holes disappear as soon as you make them
spoons are good for that
guns make more permanent holes
in my jake dream
susie his sister
turned him over
all the planet earth kept jake inside himself
til susie turned him over
and he gushed out the hole in his chest
straight up
like old faithful
bits of torn paper and twisted wreckage
you could hear it for miles
we want to know the meaning
of joan's husband and jake
we hope it will begin to make sense
it's what makes us crazy in the end