When we arrive at the launch point, Aiden directs his crew in the logistics of preparing for our trip. The rest of us pick out our life vests and helmets. In our matching blue helmets, we look like a brigade of Smurf sperm. Twyla manages to slip her tiara through the holes in her helmet, the veil fluttering over the back, in case anyone forgets she’s the bride.
Stripping off my leggings, I hop around on the rocky shore in a demonstration of grace and balance. Reluctantly, I slip off my sweatshirt. In just my rash guard and bikini bottom, goosebumps cover my cold skin and my nipples tighten into small buds. Glancing around, I see I’m not the only one nipping out in my bathing suit. We’re all Team Nipple. I hope the padding of my vest creates some warmth. There’s no way the water isn’t icy cold.
Helmet on, vest strapped closed, sunglasses secured, and my water booties covering my feet, I’m finally ready.
“Should we do a group before pic?” Twyla suggests. “While we all still look hot?”
Speaking of hot, Aiden is shirtless under his vest. I missed the moment of seeing his bare chest when he changed. Sadly, it’s for the best. I can’t spend all day ogling him. For many reasons including his questionable life decisions. The worst being is he’s Landon’s brother.
I glance at the other two men among us. Mitch is all bare-chested and tan, but I swear he’s like nineteen, twenty at most. Steve still sports his shirt under his vest and looks like he’s in his forties or fifties. Maybe it’s because he’s wearing a canvas hat with a chin strap like my dad would.
Too young. Too old. Just right but not mine.
I’m Goldilocks.
Not that this matters because nothing is going to happen with any of them. Not today. Or any day.
We huddle into a clump around Twyla. Mitch holds out his GoPro on a stick to take the pic.
Aiden goes over some safety information while we’re still on land. Holding our paddles, we practice our strokes before getting into our inflatable kayaks, aka the duckies. Guess this makes Aiden our momma duck.
This spot on the river has a calm pool to one side, which allows us a place to practice paddling before being carried away by the current to roaring rapids.
No one capsizes or fails the basics, so Aiden declares us good to go.
Zoe and I stick together near the front of the group. The first stretch of river is pretty low key and we all paddle along like happy ducklings, chatting and laughing at random things. So far, we’ve had small sections of choppy white water but no major challenges.
“This is nice,” I tell Zoe. The sun’s warmed up my skin to the point where the occasional splash of water feels refreshing. The banks flanking the river stretch high above us as we enter a canyon.
Aiden and Mitch have been trading off between being at the front of the pack and the back, checking in on us and giving tips. Ahead of the kayaks, Steve handles the larger raft on his own, sitting on the back edge, holding a large paddle in each hand. According to Aiden, Steve will go ahead and get lunch set up for us.
“Glad you’re enjoying yourself. We’re about to hit our first set of class three rapids,” Aiden shouts so the entire group can hear him.
“What happened to class two? Shouldn’t we ease ourselves into this?” I glance around us to see if anyone else thinks this is a bait and switch.
“You’ve already gone through three sections of those. Follow me and you’ll be fine. If you capsize, get your feet facing down river as quickly as possible, and enjoy the ride.” Aiden grins at us, before paddling ahead.
“If I capsize? Don’t you mean when?” I ask nervously while frantically paddling to keep up with him.
Blocked by a curve in the river, I can’t see the impending rapids, but I can hear the roar of water.
I glance around to see if anyone else is worried about what lies ahead. Spotting Zoe slightly behind me, I twist to face her. “You okay?”
“Ask me in about five minutes.” She smiles, but her shoulders are tense.
“Face front, Mae,” Aiden shouts at me. “Rule number one, don’t hit a rapid going sideways.”
Hearing the urgency in his voice, I pay attention to what’s coming.
My kayak bumps and dips through the water as I’m sucked forward in the speeding current. Aiden navigates boulders and small drops with ease. Meanwhile, I’m frantically paddling from side to side, desperately trying to follow his path through this watery hell-scape.
“Oh shit,” I scream as the water begins churning around us. Ahead, mist rises in the air and roaring drowns out any other noise.
“No turning back. Here we go!” His enthusiasm fails to comfort me.
Somewhere behind me, someone else screams. It’s a woman, or Mitch has too much icy water near his balls.
Water churns in every direction and I fight to keep the nose of my kayak pointing downstream. I’m being tossed around like a leaf in a hot tub with the jets at full blast. My head feels like someone is shaking it while giving me a tequila shooter.
A gigantic, tsunami-size wave crashes over me and everything goes watery for a few seconds until I pop back up and see the sky again.
“Waterfall straight ahead!” Mitch or Aiden or God’s voice carries over the roar.
We’re going over a waterfall? That sounds like something only crazy people try to do at Niagara Falls.
When Aiden disappears over the drop, I realize it’s too late to reverse this terrible decision
Approaching the falls, I flex my feet under the safety strap and hold my paddle in a death grip. Even I know the expression up a creek without a paddle is a bad thing.
The next few seconds are a blur of white water, fear, and the certainty this is how I’m going to die.
At the bottom of the falls sits a wide pool of frothy water. I get stuck in an eddy for a moment, too stunned by recent events to remember how to get myself out.
“Out of the way, Mae. Or Zoe’s going to land on your head.” Aiden’s voice carries over to me from the side.
I quickly paddle to where he’s floating in a calm spot of water and wait for the others to join us.
“How was it?” he asks, grinning as if he’s just had the best sex of his life.
Adrenaline makes my heart thrash around in my chest like it’s dancing to speed metal. I’m breathless, too.
“I’ll let you know when I’m on solid, dry, not moving land again.”
His smile widens even more. “Good thing our lunch spot is close.”
Aiden directs us to pull the kayaks onto a rocky sandbar where he promises us time to dry off, warm up, and have lunch. I guide my ducky until the bottom slides against the shore. Using my paddle to brace myself, I cautiously swing one leg over the side into the icy water, which is somehow even colder than the deep puddle inside of my kayak.
“Aye, chihuahua!” I scream when my foot slips and the water splashes up to my crotch. “It’s freezing!”
Aiden appears beside me, his warm hand on my elbow. With a chuckle and a slight tone of sarcasm, he tells me, “It’s snow runoff, you know.”
If he weren’t a giant mountain of a man, I’d attempt to shove him into the river and see how much his delicate balls like the frigid temperature. He’d probably scream like a tiny baby. Instead, I allow him to help me navigate the few steps to dry land.
Without shame, I flop on the sun-warmed rocks and lie back, gratefully scraping my hands over the rocks and gritty sand. A shadow blocks my sun for a second before I feel someone sit next to me. Peeling one eye open, I tip my head to spot Zoe beside me.
“That was crazy. I feel like someone’s pumped me full of caffeine and sugar, and then sent me on the craziest log ride slash rollercoaster ever.” All of her teeth flash with her wide grin. “I can’t wait to hit more rapids.”
“You’re high on the adrenaline.” I poke her shoulder with my index finger.
“I am. We should go skydiving after this. Or maybe parasailing. This is more fun than skiing.”
I wish I could agree with her. Nothing will ever come close to the joy of skiing or boarding in fresh powder on a crystalline blue day.
Down the sandbar, Steve finishes setting up lunch from the coolers in the supply raft. Sandwiches, individual salads, and cookies are laid out on a folding table next to another cooler filled with beverages, including mini boxes of wine and cans of prosecco.
Not wanting to miss out on food, I hoist myself up and brush sand from my backside. I strip off my life vest and peel it open so it can dry in the sun while we eat. I’m soaked through except for a small area on my breasts and a patch on my back where the vest pressed against my skin.
The rest of the group appears as soggy and half-drowned as I do, with the exception of the bride and the guys.
Impressively, Twyla’s managed to keep her tiara attached to her helmet through the class two and three rapids. Unlike me, she doesn’t resemble a drowned cat. I’m guessing because I’m not vain enough to pull out a mirror and check on the state of horror.
Aiden dumps his vest on the sand and stands in all his naked chest glory for a brief, shining moment. I was right about the muscles. He’s all lean strength. The man has zero body fat. If we were stranded out here for weeks, I could use his abs as an actual washboard to clean our clothes. Sadly, he pulls on his T-shirt from the dry pack in the supply raft. Sad for me. Not him. It would be unwise for him to remain shirtless around a pack of horny women. Smart guy.
Hungry from the morning’s adrenaline rush, I join the line for lunch. Food and a can of prosecco in hand, I find a spot next to Zoe in the half-formed circle. Funny how years after elementary school, we still gravitate to sitting in circles when gathered together.
Aiden drops down on the rocks to my left. He’s only drinking water and I wonder if it’s because he’s working or in recovery. Would be rude to ask.
“How are you enjoying the day so far?” he asks the group, but I get the feeling he’s really asking me.
Most of the women reply with answers about it being the biggest rush, a thrilling, exciting rollercoaster.
“Better than the best sex I’ve ever had,” Twyla declares.
I nearly choke on my sandwich.
Aiden’s shoulders shake with amusement.
“Have you heard that one before?” I whisper to him.
Keeping a smile on his face, he shakes his head no.
Zoe snorts. “You like sex that’s cold, wet, and involves a lot of thrashing around?”
“Swallowing all those gross spurts and splashes of liquid? As if you’re the kind who swallows, T,” the redhead challenges my cousin.
Twyla shoots her a dirty look. “Cait!”
Realizing what she’s said in mixed company, Cait hides her face in her hands, muttering, “I didn’t say that in front of the guys. Ignore me.”
“We were all thinking about sex and swallowing,” Amy adds, clearly unwilling to contradict Twyla.
“No, we weren’t,” Zoe mumbles. “Like that cake everyone calls better than sex. If that’s true, you’re not doing it right. Trust me.”
“Preach, sister.” I chuckle and stare at my feet as I stretch my hand toward her for a subtle high five.
“Oh, really?” Twyla asks, directing her question at me and Zoe. “You’re having crazy, wild sex that leaves your heart racing and you completely out of breath to the point you feel like you’re flying?”
Zoe smiles and nods.
“Bitch,” I whisper.
She nudges me with her shoulder. “Yep. Be jealous.”
“You too, Mae?” Twyla won’t let it go.
Conscious of Aiden next to me, I know I can’t lie. If I was having mind-blowing sex, I wouldn’t be going to her wedding with Landon. Unless she’s crazy and thinks I’m actually having sex with him and it’s incredible.
“Not at the moment, no,” I answer her. “Right now, I’m eating the best sandwich of my life. I’m not sure if it’s the near-death experience we all recently survived or if it’s simply that good. Where did you get these?”
Aiden tips his head toward me. “City Market.”
“Wow. I had no idea. Good to know for all of my picnic needs.” I finish my sandwich and follow up with drinking most of the can of prosecco. It’s a small can.
The conversation moves on and returns to wedding planning.
Grateful I’ve avoided discussing my non-existent sex life, I stand and offer to help clean up.
Joining me, Aiden tries to takes my plate. “I’ll do that.”
“I can do it.” I refuse to give it up. “Perfectly capable.
“I’m sure you are, but you’re a client and that makes you a guest. Guests don’t bus their own tables at La Belle Femme, do they?”
Unable to argue with his logic, I hand over my trash. “Thank you.”
“No problem. I appreciate you wanting to help. You’re one of the few people who has ever offered.”
“Really?” I ask, surprised. When Twyla sitting surrounded by her bridesmaids catches my attention, my surprise fades. I imagine most clients would never think to lift a finger.
Steve collects trash and recycling into separate bags. Mitch hands out cookies, making him the most popular man on the trip.
“You see my point?” he asks, not pointing at my cousin, but it’s clear from his head tilt he means her.
“People rarely see past their own immediate needs and preconceptions about roles.” He sets his stack of plates on the table.
“You’re a wise man, Aiden.” For a slacker and a possible addict, I start to add in my head, but then stop myself. No qualifiers needed. I’m sure a lot of people would put me in the same category as him after I walked away from my career in L.A. to wait tables and snowboard. Now I’m wondering what rumors and gossip are going around about me. Maybe my mother is concerned about my slacker status and that’s why she doesn’t trust me to pick my own date for the wedding. Landon is at least a local celebrity even if he’s notorious.
Standing near the boats, I dip my feet into the cold, clear water, and stare down at the small river rocks on the bottom. I’m the charity case in this date debacle. Inside I know this isn’t true, but if that’s how my mother and Mrs. Roberts are perceiving me, what does it matter?
Aiden comes to stand beside me. “You okay? Nervous about the rest of the trip?”
“I’m having deep thoughts about life and my mother.” I laugh to cover up the truth.
“Being on the river is great for clarification.” He gives me a slow smile. “Lots of time to think when not going through the bigger rapids.”
“Will there be more giant, watery, death drops this afternoon?” I ask, only half kidding about the death part.
“Mostly some fun class twos with one nice three as the big finale. Nothing you won’t be able to handle. For the final stretch, we run parallel to the road, so you’ve seen most of this part of the river.”
“The river looks less intimidating from a car,” I state the obvious
“Funny how proximity can change our perception, huh?” He bumps my shoulder. “You’ll never look at the river the same way again.”
The same could be said for Aiden. Landon is a kiddie pool compared to Aiden’s wild, untamed rapids.
We’re not in a place where I can ask him about his recovery. I want to respect his privacy because I’m all about healthy boundaries, but damn, I’m super curious. The only addicts I know are family and celebrities. Twyla’s brother, Ailey, did a stint in a fancy place in Malibu and left early. He’s still messed up. Jesse’s brother died from doing stupid shit while drunk.
I’m not sure if I could ever take on being with an addict. I’m not that strong. And isn’t there some rule about waiting a year after sobriety to start a relationship? Aiden will probably be long gone by that point. Getting together with him would be a huge mistake no matter if my body thinks otherwise.
Speaking of changing perception, my recent time with Landon hasn’t magically transformed how I see him, not exactly. When we text, there’ve been glimpses of a better man in the cracks of his typical bravado. Sometimes I still see the teenage version I used to fool around with, who was cocky, but also funny and at times, sweet. Kind of like seeing a shadow out of my peripheral vision and thinking it’s a person when it’s really a pole or chair.
Could Landon be a secret romantic? I should ask Sage. He must still have some good qualities if she dated him. He could be the kind of man who needs to fall hard for the right woman before he’s willing to change for the better. There’s no way that woman is me, but I’m still not convinced he’s irredeemable. He’s not a heartless monster.
“You never answered Twyla’s question,” Aiden says softly for only my ears.
“Neither did you.” I cock my head to the side.
His cheeks round with his slow grin and he removes his sunglasses, revealing his warm brown irises. In spite of being nearly identical to Landon’s color, Aiden’s stare sends a buzz of electricity through my body. My senses go on high alert.
I tell myself it’s probably leftover adrenaline or anticipation of getting back in the kayak that’s making my heart flutter. Or the fact he’s asking about my sex life in a roundabout way.
“I love being on the river, the rush of the rapids, the slow, easy stretches where I can take the time to enjoy the scenery, the thrill of the buildup, and the moment of satisfaction after completing a successful run.” He lowers his voice further to a sexy, deep whisper. “All that being said, I’d never, ever say rafting is better than amazing sex.”
My breath leaves my body in a whoosh as I sigh. Sweet heaven, his words. I have to look away or else I’ll be forced to kiss him right this very minute. I’m only wearing a bikini, which is the same as underwear, so I’m basically naked and he’s talking about amazing sex. I can’t be expected to handle this.
I eye the river and think about throwing myself into the icy water to cool off.
“Your turn.” He gently touches my wrist.
“I agree. No offense to your passion for your chosen profession.” I don’t elaborate because I’m not sure I’ve ever had sex as hot as the way he described rafting.
The skin around his eyes crinkles when he laughs. “You’re not offending me. No one should ever go through life without experiencing mind-blowing sex.”
Mentally, I fan myself. “Can’t argue with that.”
For the rest of the afternoon, I think about sex. Mostly sex with Aiden as I watch his strong arms paddle and his long legs tense inside of his kayak. His restrained power is one of the sexiest things I’ve seen.
There’s something to be said for someone who commands their own power against nature. He isn’t competing against another person to prove who’s better or stronger. Instead, he faces off with nature and takes control. That’s how I feel when I snowboard or ski, especially when I used to compete. Of course, I wanted to beat the other boarders’ times and scores, but to do that I had to be the best at mastering the snow and conquering gravity. The high from adrenaline is a happy side effect of facing the power of nature and walking away unscathed.
We pass through beautiful canyons where pink hued cliffs climb high above us, calm water allowing us to float with the current to enjoy the scenery. I enjoy the smaller rapids, confidently navigating the rocks and whirlpools. When Aiden alerts us to a class three up ahead, I’m excited instead of petrified. Maybe because he goes behind me, loudly cheering as I twist and turn through the churning water.
By the time we finally reach the end of our ride, I’m ready to do it all again. I also might be a little horny and sexually frustrated.
Magically, our vans are parked along a gravel road near the river. I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited to pull on leggings and a sweatshirt. Once all of the kayaks and the raft are loaded onto the trailers, we take turns changing clothes in the semi-privacy of the partially closed back doors of the vans. If someone, say Aiden, wanted a peek, all he’d have to do is walk by. This thought bothers me less than it probably should.
After everyone is changed, Mitch pulls another cooler from the back of a van and reveals more prosecco, wine, alcoholic seltzers, and sodas. “It’s tradition we toast to a good trip.”
No one is going to argue against this idea and we all happily grab a beverage.
Aiden shakes a can of soda, and then opens it, creating a spray of sticky liquid, which he aims at Mitch. “To another day on the river. We’re the lucky ones.”
We all clink our cans and boxes together.
“To Twyla.” I raise my pink can high above her head. “May her married sex life be wilder than the wildest rapids!”
Sadly, she’s probably already slept with Topher and knows what she’s getting. I doubt they’re waiting until marriage. Although, based on her earlier comment, she could be a born-again virgin. She certainly isn’t as innocent as she acts sometimes.
“Here, here,” Zoe yells.
Others echo her with woots and “get it girl.”
Twyla beams. “I’m getting married!”
In case anyone could forget for a minute.
Aiden meets my eyes. “This life is too short to be anything but spectacular.”
I agree with him and hold my prosecco out to clink. Keeping eye contact, he taps his fresh can of soda against mine.
Why can’t Landon be as cool as his brother? Why does Aiden have to be a river guide with questionable life choices? If I could combine the two of them, I’d make the perfect Roberts brother. The fact I’m even thinking Landon has good points to combine says a lot about his behavior the past few weeks.
We do the same seats on the van ride to the hotel. Zoe falls asleep first; her head rests heavy on my shoulder. I try to stay awake to keep Aiden company while Twyla softly snores in the passenger seat, but my lids become too heavy to keep my eyes open.
“It’s okay if you crash,” Aiden tells me from the front. “Sun, adrenaline, and prosecco are the ultimate sleeping pill.”
“Are you sure?” I ask with my eyes closed.
“I can take care of myself. Promise.” I think he laughs at the end, but I’m already giving into the undertow of sleep.