We might as well get it over with and admit it: Stephen Harper is a genius. Here we are in the midst of a global economic crisis. Nations all over the world are desperately trying to help their citizens—who are terrified. We have seen unheard-of acts of co-operation among political rivals all over the industrialized world.
Not in Canada. Not with Stephen Harper. Not on his watch. No, my friends, Stephen Harper has one goal and one goal only, and it has nothing to do with governing: How could he use this crisis to destroy the Opposition? And wouldn’t you know it, he almost did it.
Harper decided Canada didn’t need any kind of economic stimulus. Oh no, all we needed to do was cancel the subsidies to political parties—a move that would have saved about $26 million. Or about the same amount of money that Harper now spends every year on bodyguards when he travels to danger zones like Thunder Bay or Nunavut.
But of course, the real upside for Harper in all of this was that it would have destroyed or crippled the Opposition. It gives me great faith, knowing that as our economy collapses, Harper is on the job, coming up with new and innovative ways to interfere with the Green Party’s office budget and bankrupt the Liberals. And who knows, maybe then the world will be a better place.
Maybe he has a point. Maybe that’s why Canada won’t give this guy a majority. It’s not because he’s a mean little man obsessed with revenge, it’s because we just have too many choices. We walk into the voting booth, we get confused. It’s kind of like that first trip to Baskin Robbins. Maybe we’d all be better off if Conservative was the only flavour on the menu.
Well, we almost found out. Because if Harper had gotten away with this, democracy in this country would have changed forever. And not a single citizen would have voted on the matter.