CHAPTER 6

BARS

THE TERM BARS, AS IN COOKIE BARS OR DESSERT BARS, IS PROBABLY one of the happiest, most Middle American words in existence. First of all, the flat a sound combined with an r can be endlessly drawn out and/or emphasized to really highlight all manner of midwestern accents. Plus, you can often get a double dip of that accent since the sight of a freshly cut 9 × 13 often makes folks say with delight, “Oh! Bars!” Perfect.

Related: Is there anything more glorious, more welcoming, more portable and shareable than a swath of treats in a 9 × 13? It follows that Mentality of Pie outlined in the introduction of Chapter 3—why give yourself arthritis shaping dozens of cookie dough balls when you can just shove the whole lot into one pan and call it done? Even better, the yield can be adjusted once the headcount is determined. Practical and delicious, just the way I like things, and a perfect candidate for bake sales, potlucks, and church basement buffets, cementing the importance of bars in the midwestern culinary landscape.