“SORRY I’M SO BREATHLESS,” Sam said, adjusting his seat belt one-handed while he held his cell in the other. “I made this flight by the skin of my teeth. The gate was practically in another state, so I had to run the whole way. Am I interrupting?”
“Are you kidding?” Emma said, her voice a balm that never failed to soothe. “Tell me what they said. Are you okay? Will you have to go back?”
He smiled. Despite the fact that he’d assured her everything was fine and that he was in no danger, he got that her concern was genuine. “I’m better than fine. The surgeon and the ophthalmologist were really pleased. They ran every test. I can’t imagine I won’t pass the base check. I’ll still need to wear a contact in the one eye, but it’s a minor correction. I’m like 20/30 without, so it looks like a go on all engines.”
“Wow,” she said, but her voice was low. Hushed. “That’s good. That’s great. So, you go to the eye doctor here, and then you put in for a transfer to a cockpit job, right?”
“Yep. Of course nothing will happen this training cycle, and the way things move, it’ll probably be longer than that, but I know Colonel Stevens is going to push for me, so—”
“I thought he wanted you to stay as an instructor.”
“Yeah, he’d like me to, but I think he understands that I want to get a jet. Maybe we’ll work a deal that when this tour is up, I’ll come back to the RPA program.”
“You’ve talked about that?”
“Not yet. Not in so many words, and I won’t until I have the clearance to fly. I didn’t want to jump the gun.”
“Sure,” she said, but she sounded off.
He’d figured his clean bill of health would have made her happy. “Is everything okay?”
She didn’t answer for a minute, and he strained, listening for background noise, but sitting on a runway waiting for takeoff wasn’t exactly quiet. “You know what? My next meeting’s gonna start in a minute.”
“Right, this was your department review, right?”
“Yep, and after that is the all-faculty meeting, so I’m probably going to be stuck here until after you get home. It’ll be dark when you land. Will you be able to drive okay?”
“Oh, yeah. My eyes aren’t even dilated.”
“All right. You have to promise to call me as soon as you land. Leave a message if I can’t pick up.”
“I will. After you’re free maybe we could meet for dinner? I’ll take you someplace fancy to celebrate.”
“I’m sorry, I’ve got to go. Promise you won’t forget to call.”
“Promise,”
“Good. Be safe.”
“Emma?” he said, but she’d already gone. Had he heard a tremble in her voice? What the hell? Was she still worried after all his assurances? No, she knew his eye was fine.
Ever since the party, things between them had been... Not bad. Just different. It wasn’t as if he expected her to be happy all the time, but he’d caught her looking at him, like this morning when he’d been rushing to get to the base for his plane. She’d seemed sad, worried. And he had been in such a rush, he hadn’t asked her. Maybe there was something at her work that wasn’t going well. Like Gary giving her more crap. She hadn’t mentioned her conversation with him at the party, and Sam hadn’t asked about that, either. He didn’t expect her to tell him every little thing in her life. She had a right to privacy.
But that didn’t alter the fact that he’d been so caught up in getting his vision repaired he’d been a pretty lousy boyfriend.
That sounded weird. Boyfriend wasn’t even close to the relationship he and Emma had. Significant other made him want to hit something, and partner was just as awful. It was probably too soon, but he wanted to move to the next step, although he wasn’t a hundred percent sure if that was what Emma wanted.
His thoughts lost out to the ruckus happening across the row in front of Sam.
The flight attendant was trying to calm down an older lady who was on her cell. They couldn’t take off or even lock down the plane until the woman turned off her phone. It was instantly obvious that the woman was panicking. Even from Sam’s seat, he could see her shaking.
“Please, if I can just talk to my husband during takeoff, I’ll be fine.”
“I’m so sorry, ma’am, but we can’t allow a telephone to be live on takeoff. It can interfere with the electronics of the plane.”
“Oh, God. Tom, they won’t let me talk to you.”
“You’ll have to turn off the cell now, ma’am. I’m sorry, but we’re holding up other flights. Do you understand?”
The woman nodded, but still didn’t obey. “I love you,” she said, turning her head away from the attendant. “I love you and the kids. Don’t ever doubt that. If I don’t see you again, I’ve left everything in the wall safe. Except for the banking details, and those are in the desk.”
“Ma’am, you’re going to be fine. It’s more dangerous getting to the airport than it is to fly. I have to insist you turn off the phone now, or I’ll be forced to get security involved.”
Sam shook his head, sorry for the crew member but sorrier for the woman. He understood that fear of flying was a common phobia. It was so far off his radar that he had a tendency to dismiss it as foolish. But the woman couldn’t help it. She was still visibly shaking. The young lady sitting next to her was trying to offer comfort, but it didn’t appear to be working.
Maybe the frightened woman had lost someone in a crash. That would explain a— He stopped. Breathing, moving. How had he not seen it? God, he was an idiot. Emma had lost Danny in a freak accident. She wasn’t just worried about Sam’s eye; she was worried he wouldn’t make it home. Like Danny hadn’t.
She’d probably gotten up that morning thinking everything was fine. Maybe she’d spoken to Danny before work, made plans for his car to be transported to Alamo, or talked about the weather, or just nothing. It was a day like any other. Until someone from the chaplain’s office had shown up at her door.
Jesus.
Was that what Gary had meant at the party about Emma not being thrilled Sam could get his wings back? Did Gary know her better than Sam?
He’d planned on doing some reading on the flight back, but he left his book in his stowed bag. He needed to show her the test results. Nothing he could say would ease Emma’s mind, not without proof. He’d figured that would take care of everything once and for all. But shit, had he missed the mark.
He remembered hearing about Danny’s accident. The first thing Sam did after gaining his senses was to call Emma. She’d been in shock. He’d told her he’d take leave, that he could be with her in a couple of hours, and she’d turned him down flat.
How many times had he wanted to call her during that first year? But after the funeral, she’d made it really clear that seeing him and John was too difficult. It hadn’t mattered that they’d only wanted to comfort her, to share in that grieving and whatever healing was possible. She’d said she needed space, and he’d honored her wishes.
It had been terrible. The hardest year he’d ever had. He’d never lost anyone before, not anyone close. His grandfather had died, but Sam hadn’t known him well. His grandmother had died before he’d been born. It had always been his mom and him. Then he’d met John and Danny, and he’d had brothers.
Emma wasn’t particularly close to her family. There was a sister, but they only seemed to speak or see each other on occasions, and she had only mentioned her folks once or twice, but with no real affection.
It didn’t matter that she and Danny had been headed for a breakup. Sam knew for sure that they loved each other. Not being able to make it wasn’t the same as falling out of love. Danny hadn’t been careful enough with Emma. He’d taken her for granted, and now, so had Sam.
He should have taken more care. Made sure to check in with her every step of the way, even if it was just voice mails or texts while she was in class. He would call the minute they parked at the gate. Let her know she could breathe again. Then he’d take her out and make sure she knew how amazing she was. Show her that he was someone she could count on.
* * *
EMMA PARKED HER CAR on the street, even though Sam had told her to use his garage. She’d never taken him up on it because her car was functional, bought for practicality, and if something happened to it she would be more inconvenienced than upset.
The Mustang, however, was a prized possession, a machine that was loved and cared for. That represented the part of Sam that loved danger and speed and excitement. Emma needed the reminder.
She got the champagne out of the car, thankful the base kept good bubbly in the refrigerator case all the time. Tonight she and Sam were going to celebrate. Well, Sam would celebrate, and she would do her best to be happy for him.
He’d been a sweetie when he’d called to let her know he was disembarking and that it would still be a while until he made it home. She’d relaxed immediately...up to a point.
The faculty meeting had been the shortest one she could ever remember. She’d sat between Gary and Sharon, and they must have picked up on her mood because they hadn’t done their usual kidding around. In fact, she’d clearly had her shields up because the three of them had barely talked.
Emma was almost sorry she hadn’t confided in Sharon. Gary, though... What he’d said at the party had been on her mind ever since. Resenting him wasn’t fair. He wasn’t to blame for the situation. No one was. She hadn’t expected Sam. And she certainly hadn’t planned on falling in love with him. Would she be in this situation if he’d come to Holloman as a pilot? She didn’t think so.
Although it embarrassed her to admit it, she’d hoped that Sam wouldn’t qualify to fly. Yes, she loved him. Very much. But was love going to be enough?
It wasn’t that she assumed he would be like Danny—leaving her so he could go off and party with his friends. Although she couldn’t prove it, she was reasonably certain Danny had cheated on her. But that wasn’t the part she was worried about with Sam.
The car. The bike. His determination to be in a cockpit again. All of those things were part of his makeup. There was a reason he’d hung out with John and Danny, and not just because they’d been roommates at the Air Force Academy. They were like brothers, and they lived for the rush, and that was at the heart of her dilemma.
Could she bear worrying every time he climbed into the cockpit?
On the other hand, could she bear to let Sam go?
He’d made her so happy these past weeks. Happier than she’d ever imagined she could be. There was so much to love about Sam. He was solid. A man who might leave the screwdriver out, but he took his job seriously, was thoughtful of her on a daily basis. He’d gone out of his way to be there when she needed him. Even more spectacularly, when she’d wanted him.
Just the week before last, she’d gone to help Sharon paint scenery at the auditorium. Sam had offered to come, but then he’d gotten a call to join a group of active fighter pilots for a round of golf. It was an important invitation. Sam had bonded with his fellow pilots everywhere he’d been stationed, but things were different as a teacher. The golf game had been his ticket to the inner circle, and he’d declined.
At first she’d thought it was because he hadn’t wanted to be associated with the Reaper pilots, but he’d come right out and told her he’d rather spend the day hanging out with her.
She put the champagne in the fridge then made a reservation for two at Stella Vita.
When she hung up, all she could think was that life wasn’t fair. That wasn’t news, of course, and it was a childish thought, but come on, what kind of a cruel trick was it to send this incredible man into her life in the most perfect situation imaginable, only to pull the rug out from under her after she’d lost her heart?
Why couldn’t this surgery have come later, after he’d taught for a couple of years? Sam would have missed the cockpit, yes, but once he’d seen the spread of effects from his teaching, he wouldn’t be able to deny the importance of his influence. She’d been thrilled with Max’s little speech at the barbecue, and she’d hoped it had started Sam thinking about his invaluable contribution.
Unless he could arrive at the conclusion on his own, there was no way she could convince him that being an instructor was more important than flying. He’d wanted to be a fighter pilot since he was a kid. That didn’t just vanish because he had other talents.
So he would be a flyer again. Which meant transfers every few years. He’d be sent into combat situations and she’d be left behind. Waiting. Panicking. Shattering piece by piece under the weight of fear that the chaplain would show up at her door again. She wasn’t sure she had it in her.
When she finally heard the garage door open, she focused on the moment, on the fact that he was healthy and whole and that this was a triumphant moment for him. He had no idea, she was certain, what the prospect of his taking to the air again was doing to her. And she wasn’t going to tell him. Not tonight. Tonight was for champagne.
She met him at the door and just like the first time she’d seen him at Stella Vita, her body reacted—a wonderful electric shock, if there could be such a thing. For a moment she just stared at him, forgetting to breathe, thinking of nothing except he’s here, thank God. She was drawn to him with the power of the tides, and as soon as she was in his arms nothing else mattered.
He smiled into her hair, surrounded her with his scent and a quiet hum of pleasure. Time seemed to stretch and the rest of the world backed off.
Two minutes later, maybe three, he pulled back, looked at her, kissed her. Not the hungry kind, the prelude to getting naked as quickly as possible, but a slow melting together. As tenderly as if she might break.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she said when they parted.
“Me, too. You’re all I thought about on the way home. I’d have hitchhiked if I’d had to.”
“I’m glad it wasn’t necessary. But you must be tired. All that travel in one day.”
“I’m fine now.” He squeezed her shoulders before he let her go and picked up the satchel he’d brought with him. “I’ve got all the papers in here. The notes from the doctors, everything. Both of my eyes are healthy and there’s no reason to think there will be any complications.”
“Thanks,” she said. “I believe you.”
“Still.” He pulled out a file folder, and she took it. Most of the papers meant nothing to her. Numbers that had no context. But she’d skim the notes later.
“So there’s nothing standing in your way now,” she said. “You can go back to flying anytime.”
“I may have, in my enthusiasm, slightly exaggerated the ease with which I’d get back in the cockpit. The eye doctors here have to give me their blessings, and that’s not a lock no matter what the surgeons say. My peripheral vision is critical, and there are tests they perform that the surgeons don’t.”
“But you were so sure you’d pass.” She had to stay calm. Not sound hopeful at his expense.
“Anticipation will do that to a guy. But now that the whirlwind is over, I’ll still have to put in a request to transfer, and there has to be an opening for me to fill, which may not happen for a while. You know the drill.”
The way Sam studied her, and his new banked enthusiasm, it all confused her. “Is there something else wrong?”
“No. No, I just don’t want us to put all our eggs in that one basket. I may be able to fly again, but then again, I’ll pretty much go where the brass tells me to go. For now, that’s the classroom.”
He was right. In fact, he was saying the same things she’d been trying to believe. That the future wasn’t written, that anything could happen.
But that anything included him in a cockpit. Her worrying every day whether he was going to come home or not. Equally troubling was how he would change once he was living a fighter pilot’s life. The camaraderie, the contagion of the need for thrills that she’d seen take on more and more of Danny’s attention.
It was important to remember Sam wasn’t her late husband, but perhaps more important for her to be realistic.
“What’s that frown about?” he asked.
“Frown? I wasn’t... I got champagne.” She turned to the kitchen. “And I made reservations for dinner.”
He captured her arm before she took a second step. “Champagne?”
She nodded, her smile genuine. “You’re better. You don’t have to worry about not seeing well enough anymore. That’s cause for celebration, don’t you think?”
“You’re amazing, you know that?”
She shrugged. “I’m so happy for you.”
His smile seemed confusingly sad, or perhaps more bittersweet. “Are you really hungry?”
She shook her head.
“Come to bed with me?” He bracketed her face with gentle hands as he stared into her gaze. “I want you so much.”
“Me, too.”
“I want to make love with you. Now.”
She was still a bit shaky, but there was no way to turn that invitation down. Of course she’d make love with him. Every chance she could get, even though it wouldn’t make her decision any easier. There was simply no getting over the fact that she loved him. It might kill her in the end, but for today, she was his.
Once they were in the bedroom, Sam took her clothes off with care. He was in no rush, and while she probably should have called Stella Vita, she wouldn’t interrupt him for the world.
As her blouse parted, he kissed her chest, just under her collarbone. Slipping off her bra brought more kisses, gentle breaths and sweet lips that gave her goose bumps and made her sigh.
She ran her hands through his hair, trailed her fingers across his temples and cheeks as he unbuttoned and kissed his way down her body until she was naked. He hadn’t removed any part of his uniform, and it was deeply erotic to be bared as he rose slowly, letting his hands glide across her flesh.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he said, his voice hushed as if he’d told her a secret.
It would have been easy to roll her eyes at the hyperbole, but when she met his gaze it was clear he was telling her the truth. Of course he was. He might not have said those exact words before, but he’d shown her. With touches and kisses and smiles and looks, and she never felt anything less than beautiful when she was with him.
It was time for him to lose his clothes, because all she wanted was to be in his arms, to snuggle close, to find that perfect peace that came in the aftermath.
The thought of leaving him was as unwelcome as a splash of ice water, and she refused to entertain it for more than a second.
She didn’t have to make up her mind right now. Not even later tonight or tomorrow, and probably not the next day. She could wait and see how things would roll out. With each passing hour anything could happen. He could change his mind about flying, or not get the clearance, or find that being an instructor was more to his liking. A hundred things she had no control over, except the decision to cut herself off from the opportunity to watch it unfold.
It was also possible that she could come to terms with his choice to go back to flying.
Fumbling with his pants, he took over the job of undressing with great speed and skill. It only took them a moment to climb under the sheets, to press against each other.
He kissed her and she kissed him back. His hum returned as they took their time, and she touched him in all the places that he particularly liked.
She knew him so well, and he had memorized her in return. When he ran his flattened tongue on her neck and let it rest against her pulse point, she reached for his wrist and felt his heartbeat at the same time.
His was strong and quick and hers sped up as he slipped his knee between her thighs and pressed up tight.
When her head fell back at the pressure right there, he moved until his warm breath washed over the shell of her ear. “I can’t believe I found you again,” he whispered. “I’m such a lucky bastard. If it were mine, I’d give you the world.”
She let go of his wrist and touched his face again. “I don’t want the world,” she said. “Just you.”
* * *
THE SOUND of the garage door closing was enough to get Emma’s heart beating double time. She’d been trying to decide if they should have the discussion over dinner or after, and she’d chosen to have a pleasant meal, even if she wasn’t sure she’d be able to eat.
With that in mind, she’d made a casserole when she got home from work. Cooking had given her something to do with her hands, although it hadn’t distracted her. She was still a mess thinking about what she had to do. Tonight she would tell Sam the truth about her reaction to his becoming a flyer. That it scared her, and that it was probably going to take counseling to address her fears. But that she was also willing to do whatever it took to be with him.
Maybe wine would’ve been better than the ginger ale she’d switched to in the hope of settling her stomach.
She heard the doorknob and braced herself for a difficult evening, one in which she wouldn’t lose her courage just because Sam was in the room.
He smiled the instant he saw her, looking happier than he had all week...as if he’d just opened the best Christmas gift ever. She smiled back, reminding herself this was what she wanted, for Sam to be happy, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t come at a cost.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said, walking toward her, keeping one hand behind his back so she couldn’t see what he was holding.
“Hey, yourself.” This wasn’t just about the eye exam this morning. They’d spoken briefly, so she knew that had gone well. Something else had lit a fire in his eyes.
Sadly, she knew what it had to be. Nothing short of an imminent transfer back to a cockpit would make Sam Brody this happy. He couldn’t live without flying, and seeing him now, she wouldn’t have asked him to.
He stopped just in front of her, leaned in for a quick kiss, then held out a springtime bouquet. Carnations, pink roses, daisies and lilies.
She blinked at his offering. “What’s this for?”
“Can’t a man bring his girlfriend flowers?”
“You haven’t before.”
“I know. I realized that at the shop. I didn’t even know what kind you like or what to get. But I should... I absolutely should know something like that. It’s important.”
“They’re lovely. They really are, and you chose perfectly. But you don’t have to bring me flowers. Or anything special. Just you. That’s all I need.”
His smile wavered, then vanished altogether. “There’s something else I realized today. I could’ve kicked myself when I finally got what was going on.” He brushed the side of her cheek with gentle fingers, and she leaned into the touch even though she was completely confused.
“What on earth are you talking about?” She clutched the front of his shirt, then willed herself to relax. “Is this about your flight status? Did you get transferred already?”
Sam’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “What? No.” He shook his head. “I haven’t even submitted the paperwork.”
“But I saw a copy on your desk.”
“That’s the original,” he said. He looked somber. “Let’s sit, okay?”
She nodded, and he led her to the couch. They both sat, their thighs touching, his hand wrapped around hers.
“From the beginning all you wanted was to be friends. I pushed, I— Hell, I’d called you as soon as I got to town. I wasn’t sure if it would be uncomfortable for you. I didn’t want to open old wounds, but even when I tried talking myself out of making the call I couldn’t. As soon as I heard they were sending me here all I could think about was seeing you again.”
What was this about? Regret? Did he think contacting her had been a mistake? Was he about to deliver the whole it’s me, not you spiel? No, that wasn’t like Sam. She had to quiet her thoughts. Just listen. It wasn’t easy. “I’m so glad you made that call.”
“Me, too. But despite my best intentions, I’ve managed to do exactly that. Open old wounds.”
“What?”
“This whole business with the surgery has been pretty uncomfortable for you.”
“I—” She stopped her argument before it got started when Sam held up his hand.
“It took me a while to realize just how uncomfortable. That first trip—I was hopping planes without a second thought, and then when I let my cell battery run out... Not hearing from me had to be difficult. It must have brought back awful memories.”
She needed to tell him he was right even though her throat was tight and she wasn’t sure she could speak, but from the way he nodded, her expression had clearly given it away. Okay, this was a good thing, his understanding what she’d been going through. It opened the door for more conversation. Difficult conversation, but critical.
After a hard swallow and a nod, she said, “If it’s any consolation, I didn’t know that would happen until you’d left that first time. I started flashing back to the day I was told about Danny. It wasn’t crippling, so I’m hoping that in time, I’ll get better. I can always go back for more counseling.”
“Wait a minute. First, it’s not your fault, and it’s not something you should have to deal with. It was a natural reaction and I should’ve seen it coming.”
“No.”
“Yes.” He shook his head, self-recrimination written all over his face. “My ego has been invested in me being a fighter pilot for a very long time. It was hard to look past that. I got it in my head that you deserved that same hotshot I used to be. It’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth.”
“Oh, sweetie, what I feel for you has nothing to do with your flight status.”
His eyes narrowed as he held her gaze. “That’s it. That’s how I feel about you.”
“I don’t understand.”
He looked so serious. “The way I feel about you is that the right thing is for me to be here for you. To do my damnedest to make sure you feel safe and cared for. I don’t ever want you to worry about me. And to bring home your favorite flowers just because,” he said, giving in to a smile that only lasted until she shook her head.
“I can’t ask you to give up flying. I love you, and I want you to be happy.”
He inhaled deeply. “You love me,” he said, as if he could hardly believe it.
She nodded. It was far too late to deny it. Not that she would. “I do. Very, very much.”
Sam leaned over and kissed her. It was a little too hard and not at all smooth, but it left no doubt that he had no objections to the sentiment. Pulling back, his smile made him look like the kid he’d been back in his academy days. “Is it any wonder I want to give you the world? Honey, you don’t have to ask me to give up flying. I want to.”
She stared at him for a long moment, trying to understand what he was saying. The offer he’d just made. It was tempting to jump all over it, make him swear, put it in writing. But she couldn’t stop being honest now. Not when so much was at stake. “Was that part of your revelation today?”
“Part of it, yeah.”
She slipped her hands from his, and curled them tightly in her own lap. “That’s not a spur-of-the-moment kind of decision. It’s wonderful, and I appreciate it, but you yourself said you’ve been invested in being a pilot your whole life. Not an instructor. That’s huge, and the last thing on earth I want is for you to regret it.”
He nodded, meeting her gaze, not flinching, not even blinking. “The day before I went for my follow-up exam, I knew my vision was good. I knew in my gut I’d qualify again. I was so sure that I filled out the transfer papers the night before I left so I could turn them in the day after I returned. But there was this woman, another passenger, on the commercial flight I took. She was hysterical, convinced she wouldn’t make it home to her family.
“I felt bad for her at first, but I let it roll off. Fear of flying is so alien to me. But I’d never seen anyone freak out like that. And then it hit me. I’d made you relive that horrible day you were told Danny was gone. It made me sick that I’d been so oblivious. That started the ball rolling.”
“Oh, Sam.” She looked into his earnest green eyes. “Wanting to do the nice thing isn’t necessarily the right thing.”
His head tilted to the right as he leaned a few inches closer. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve loved you?”
She sucked in a breath and held it. Even after he’d shown her that he felt the same way she did, to hear the words was amazing.
“Jesus, Emma, you were my best friend’s wife, and I still couldn’t stop myself from wanting you. When you told me you were going to ask Danny for a divorce, I almost felt relieved, as if that somehow absolved me.” He scrubbed at his face. “How messed up is that?”
“Stop that. Now. Neither one of us is perfect, and I had some of my own feelings that I wouldn’t have wanted Danny to know. But we both loved him.”
“In our own way.”
Emma had to grin. “You’re such a guy.”
“That’s true. But my story’s not over, so...”
She nodded, her gaze stuck on his, needing to watch him as well as hear every word.
“I was in the classroom this afternoon. Forty-two students were at their computers, and we were running through some maneuvers. This one guy, he goes to make a loop. You can’t make a loop with a Reaper, that’s not what they’re designed for. It was kind of a joke, you know, because in this well-known flight simulator video game that’s how you get out of a complicated situation, so there was a lot of laughter, and I put a stop to it, right then. There’s no room for that kind of thing, not on duty, and when you’re in the classroom, you’re on duty, and I don’t care that it’s not a real Reaper, you do not go off script, not for anything.”
“Okay,” she said, not at all sure where this was going.
“I dressed him down, but I used the opportunity to talk about the rush a pilot feels when he’s in the air, and how that’s not something he can count on with an RPA. That if that’s what he’s looking for in this gig, he should think twice. Become a cop or a paramedic or a race car driver. And then it hit me. I don’t need to get my kicks by flying jets. Not even a Raptor. Not even a damn rocket to the moon.”
He captured her right hand and held it just shy of too tightly. “I’m not that guy anymore. You know where I feel that rush? When I turn on our street. Doesn’t matter if we’re staying here or at the other house, I turn on that street and I can feel my heart start to race. I actually need to use cruise control so that I don’t speed. And when I finally see you? It takes a long time for me to settle back down, and sometimes that doesn’t happen until after we’ve made love.”
“Really?” She wanted so badly to believe him. And she did, but what if he’d been carried away by the moment? How could he compare seeing her with the exhilaration of flying Mach 2?
“Really. Honey, I’m so sorry for putting you through one second of fear. I wish I could take that away. But I’m not sorry I had the surgery. Knowing I can fly made it much clearer that I don’t need to.”
Her whole body changed, hearing, believing, what he’d just said. It was as if she’d been wearing a corset for ages and finally the cursed thing was off and she could breathe again. “Wow,” she said. “You do mean it.”
“I love you, Emma. I am crazy in love with you. I hope this doesn’t come as too much too soon, but I want us to be together forever. I want us to have kids, and to watch them grow up. I want to be with you when we’re old, and I don’t want to do it by sharing more than half my time with the air force.
“I want to keep on being an instructor. Go to work in the morning, come home in time for dinner, at least mostly. I want to be your husband first, and an officer second.”
That breath Emma had just regained had been stolen right back. Because this was too much, too close to her fantasies to be real.
His demeanor changed with a softening of his gaze and the lowering of his shoulders. He leaned toward her so that she could see his laugh lines and how unfairly long his eyelashes were. As if he meant to kiss her, but he stopped short. “Oh, sweetheart, all I’ve done is take away my blinders. The reason it all came together like this was because the truth had been there for weeks, if not longer. I choose you, and I hope like hell you choose me.”
She felt the heat of tears come to her eyes, and she didn’t want to cry. It was so girlie and so cliché, but her body had a will of its own, and the tears came. No sobbing, thank goodness, but blinking wasn’t enough to stop the slow and steady drops. “I love you back, you insane man. I want all those things, too.”
“You’re sure now?” he asked. “I don’t want you to have any misgivings.”
Putting her hand on his cheek she said, “Not a one.”
He closed the gap between them with a kiss that brought fresh tears even as it curled her toes. A future with Sam at her side was the best thing she could imagine.
Six months later...
SAM LOOKED INCREDIBLY handsome in his service dress uniform. With his broad shoulders and long legs, he could be on a recruiting poster, but Emma was glad he wasn’t. She wanted him all to herself.
But for now, she could share him. After all, he was the best man at a very important wedding. John Devlin and Cassie O’Brien were tying the knot, and every time Emma looked at the happy couple on the makeshift platform that had been built for the ceremony, she teared up. She was so happy for her old friend, so glad to have John back in her life, and it didn’t hurt that she really liked Cassie.
The first time Emma had been to Cassie’s brother’s bar had been two days ago. She’d never have believed so much could be accomplished to transform the not-quite-dive joint into something so festive. The colors were blue and white, of course, and there were garlands and blue hydrangeas on the tables set up in the back. The wedding cake topper was a handcrafted showstopper—the groom was a captain in uniform, the bride a very good likeness of Cassie, with her curly auburn hair and beautiful smile, in a replica of her knee-length white dress, right down to the tulle crisscross neckline.
Cassie’s friend Lisa stood as her maid of honor, and the lovely girl hadn’t stopped crying through the whole ceremony.
But now they were down to the final moments, the exchange of vows and the rings. The tears Emma had managed to blink back fell down her cheeks, and thank goodness she’d remembered to bring tissues. Not that she cared about her makeup. This was a moment of pure joy and perhaps a preview of what was to come for her and Sam.
By the time the new bride and groom kissed, the whole eclectic assembly were on their feet, applauding and whooping it up. Not just the Gold Strike bar’s regulars, but all the uniformed airmen were letting loose, loudly. And they hadn’t even opened the champagne yet.
The happy couple walked down the aisle, followed by Sam and Lisa. Sam met Emma’s gaze as he passed, and his eyes were suspiciously shiny.
When he came back from his official duties, Sam pulled her into his arms and kissed her as though they were alone in their home back in Alamo. She thought about all that had happened since that first dinner. How he’d become such a highly regarded instructor, how wonderful it was to have him come home to her every night, to wake up to him every morning. How she was happier than she would have ever imagined.
“So, I’m thinking,” Sam said, after taking a much needed breath, “that this wedding thing has some merit.”
“Really?” The passion and love in his gaze made her melt.
He nodded. “Today is for John and Cassie,” he said, running a gentle finger along her cheekbone. “But do me a favor. When it comes time for her to toss that bouquet?”
Emma held her breath as her smile widened. “Yes?”
“Catch it.”
* * * * *