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IVY
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IT’S AUGUST. THAT'S what I have been saying every day since August 1st.
For the past twenty-five days, I have woken up and thought, It’s August.
My stomach has been churning daily as I try to keep myself calm for the kid's sake.
Today, I go to see my David. We will have three days together. I tried for two weeks, but he is sure this is going to work that he wanted to make sure everything was tied up. He was giving a few last concerts and appearances for his fans and then going to try to go see Scott one last time. We both doubt Anna will allow him any time, but he was going to try.
The more I think about the days to come, the heavier the weight on my chest gets, so I try not to think about it. I try to think about taking in Ivy Hill one last time where it’s just ours and not filled with tourists. I try to think about one last swim in the pool and making sure I get a few of Nancy’s recipes.
Once through the stones, I try to take it all in. I will have no reason to come back here after this because my whole world will be in my house. My family.
I take in the perfectly landscaped homes. Homes that won’t be there once they start buying the land for the museum. I take in the families getting ready for work on this Monday morning. I take in the kids who are enjoying the last few days of summer vacation.
As I pass the familiar newsstand, I stop and buy a cup of coffee this time and leave the guy a big tip. He has been such an intricate part of my journey here, and he has no idea. He won’t be written about in history books as part of the David Miller legacy, but he should be.
I watch the vintage to me cars drive down the road and take in the Brady Bunch-style clothes as the country enters the height of the hippie years. This is a country that is getting ready to see the World Trade Centers completed.
They just had the first man walk on the moon, and soon, Disney World will open for the first time. Life is simpler, and the pace is slower. I take my time and take it all in on my way to Ivy Hill this morning.
I don’t even make it up to the gate before Clint greets me.
“Hello again, Miss Ivy. He’s expecting you.” He walks me to the side gate, guarding me from the large number of fans waiting for even the slightest glimpse of him. The dirty looks I get from them amuse me. If they only knew.
As I enter the kitchen, David is sitting at the bar drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. When he sees me, he smiles, but there is such a look of sadness too. He looks tired, and his eyes are bloodshot, and my heart drops.
“David...” I can’t move.
“I swear it’s just from lack of sleep. What's up there is to back the story after.”
My heart races as I look at Clint.
“I can vouch. He hasn’t slept; he has kept my men up as he paces the living room, plays the piano, and goes for three a.m. swims, trying to tire himself out.”
His words don’t calm me, but when David wraps me in his arms and holds me tight, I know I have to trust him. To believe in us.
“Let’s go upstairs. I know how to tire you out, and I can use some sleep too.”
He gives me that famous crooked half-smile, and I laugh.
Once in our bedroom, I take a look around, and it looks just like it did that day at Ivy Hill with Scott. Every photo in place of me, of us, and of the kids. I run my finger down the frame of our wedding photo and smile. Our memories would live on here only for David’s family to know the truth. That is enough.
“Your grandfather is going back to school. I paid for his schooling via a scholarship.”
I laugh. “Good lord, that scholarship bugged him until the day he died. He always went on how he never applied, but it covered everything, and he had no idea who to thank for it.”
“I also added in my will that Clint is to be moved to Scott’s detail and his salary paid from the trust. Clint knows how Anna is, and I know he will keep an eye on Scott. My dad is going to keep Nancy on to cook for him. They have become good friends over the years. I set up her paycheck to come from the trust too. Made sure my dad will be taken care of as well.”
“You are an amazing man, David. I wish people could see how deeply you care about those around you. But then I’m selfish and glad this is a side only I get to see.”
“I’m leaving this room the same. Our story needs to be told even if they have no idea what it is. I refuse to pack you away like a dirty secret.”
“I saw our room with Scott, remember? It looks just like this. I had walked around Ivy Hill so many times, not knowing the key to my future was right above my head.”
His eyes look a bit misty, and he looks down at his feet before looking back at me.
“So, we have three days. What do you want to do while here?”
“I think you mean where do I want to do it.”
I watch him relax, and his eyes sparkle. “Well, can I have the first choice?”
“Of course. Where are you thinking?”
He just smiles and takes my hand. He leads me out to the garage to that blue Cadillac that means so much to us. I remember the last time we had sex in this car when his voice snaps me out of it.
“Clothes off, beautiful.” His tone is firm and leaves no room for arguing. I don’t break eye contact as I remove each item of clothing, and he does the same. When I’m completely naked, he just takes me in. His eyes travel over my breasts and make my nipples tighten. As his eyes travel down past my hips, my wetness slicks my thighs. When he sees me rubbing my thighs together, trying to find relief, his eyes snap back to mine.
“On the hood of the car,” he orders.
I lie down on that iconic sky-blue hood and watch him walk over to me. He grips my hips, and his knees spread my thighs as far as he can before he kneels, and his mouth attacks my clit. I yell out his name and feel his smile as his assault continues. My hips try to move to get him in just the right spot, but he has them pinned to the hood. He slows his licks, causing me to moan and reach down to grab his hair and pull him closer. The harder I pull, the faster he goes. My back arches, and I let out a silent scream as my nerves are set on fire, and my climax washes over me.
I don’t get time to catch my breath before he stands and thrusts into me. His body covers mine as he buries his head in my neck.
“Every time with you feels like the first time when I was so happy to see you again after months of being terrified I never would.”
He leans up to look at me. “I’m getting you pregnant tonight, my sweet Ivy. You think taking me from this time is the most selfish thing you have ever done. This is the most selfish thing I have ever done. I want you pregnant, so if I make it to your time, I can watch you grow. I want you pregnant, so if I don’t make it, you have another piece of me to live for because I need you to promise to live, Ivy.” He thrusts into me harder, causing me to cry out.
“Promise me if anything happens to me, you will live for our babies.” Thrust. “Promise me!” Then he stills completely.
I feel the tears running down my face, and I nod. “I promise, David. I don’t know how I will live without you, but I will try for our kids.”
He slams into me again, this time changing the angle of his thrusts and sending me over the edge and following with me. I feel his hot release deep inside me.
We spend the next few days making love everywhere in the house again. How he has that much stamina and energy I will never know, but the night before I have to go back, we are lying in bed, neither of us willing to sleep, and I can’t seem to stop the steady stream of tears running down my face. Neither one of us wants to voice the obvious; this could be our last morning together.
“Talk to me about your plan,” I say to him. I haven’t heard much of the details, but right now, I want to hear him talk.
“We found a doctor who, according to Brian, will die of a heart attack just weeks after he finishes my autopsy. We paid him well in a roundabout way that isn’t linked to me. He gave my dad a drug that will still my heartbeat and breathing so slow everyone who sees me will think I’m dead. Nancy will find me. The doctor will rush over, pronounce me dead on the spot, and then do some shifting around to get another body in the bag to be taken out. He and my dad worked out the details. He does his report, saying it was the drugs, my dad gets the funeral done quickly, and I rush to you. Once the dust dies down, my dad will come to visit.”
“You know the dosage to give, right? You trust the doctor to keep his mouth shut and do as promised?” So many questions fly through my head; so many things could go wrong. He could take the wrong dosage, the doctor could flake and reveal the whole plan, or it could get out that he isn’t really dead.
“We are doing it all per plan like Brian says to. He researched every detail around my death down to the doctor and who found me. I have to trust that this will work.”
As the sun starts to shine into the room that has held every important part of us, we get up and have our morning shower like every time before, except this time, both of us are crying. We let the water wash our tears away as we make love in the shower. We take our time with each other, not saying a word. I don’t think I could speak if I tried. My throat is raw, trying to hold back the river of tears that want to swallow me whole.
We eat breakfast, and he walks me to the stones. Once there, he pulls me into a hug and stops trying to hold back and starts sobbing uncontrollably.
“I love you. You were completely unexpected and unexplainable, and you changed me and changed the world in ways most will never know. You are the light in the darkest hour. I will fight my way back to you.”
“I love you too, David. This is not goodbye. Do you hear me? I will see you in five days, okay?”
He smiles and nods. “Five days. Now go before I go with you.”
I smile, but as I step through the stones, my heart breaks.
