Chapter Twelve
A couple of weeks after seeing Marcus again, Gracie had been on a natural high. But when reality hit her again, so did her nightmares.
Since she still had the same nightmares about Dillian, Gracie was determined not to miss church service the following Sunday to hear the Word. She prayed that it was a message directly for her and longed for complete peace from whatever it was that was crowding her nights.
She woke up before her alarm went off. She showered and dressed warmly in a corduroy skirt suit to go to eight o’clock Sunday morning service. Her church on the north side of Dallas was having their Thanksgiving program that Sunday instead of later in the week and she didn’t want to miss it.
Unlike her hometown church, which had a traditional prayer line, the church that she adopted requested the congregation to write down their prayer requests and put them in the appropriate prayer box. Although she had nothing against this method, Gracie could have used some foot stomping, hand clapping praise and hands-on approach to feel God’s love. Nevertheless, Gracie placed her prayer request in the box on the outside of the sanctuary door, made her way into service, and went through with the service worshipping the heavens above.
“With my hands lifted up ... and my mouth filled with praise ... with a heart of thanksgiving... I will bless thee oh Lord ...”
Gracie joined in with the praise team that faced the congregation. She worshipped the Lord and didn’t ask for anything in particular. She knew that God knew her heart and that her heart was still heavy with Dillian and his disappearance. Quietly, she called out to her Heavenly Father.
“I don’t know what it is, God, but if you will just fight my battle. I can’t figure it out, but the Word says that you will wipe away all the tears from my eyes. Lord please take the pain away.”
By the time the Word came forth and the pastor spoke from John 8:12, “He that followeth me shall not walk in darkness,” Gracie knew that the sermon was meant for her. Writing her notes and making sidebars for later reading, Gracie knew that God would bring her out if she would just follow Him.
After church service, Gracie returned home to get her luggage. She was heading out to her parents’ for the first winter holiday. However, her mind went from luggage to Marcus. She decided to call him to see if he wanted to meet for coffee before she left.
Being reacquainted over the last few months had been more on a professional level with the two meeting and talking to each other at the gym. Thinking it would be a nice change of scenery, Gracie called.
“Hello?” He answered after the first couple of rings.
“Hey, Marcus, how are you?”
“What’s up, Gracie? I’m good and you?” She heard a smile in his voice.
“Oh, just about to head down 1-30, going home. I was calling to see if you wanted to meet for coffee before I headed that way. I have to pass your way to get there anyway.” Marcus lived in Rockwall, which was indeed on the way.
“That sounds like a great idea, but actually I’m trying to tie up everything before I head out myself. Why don’t we just get in touch when I get there and do something? I’m sure your parents wouldn’t mind me stealing you for a few hours.”
Gracie knew they wouldn’t care if he kept her forever. “I’m sure they wouldn’t either. But uh, isn’t Michelle going to be there with you?” She held her breath and waited on the answer.
“Uh, no. Why would she go to Paris with me?”
“Well, I just figured that’s what couples did for the holidays. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. That is what couples do, but Michelle and I are not a couple. We are dating.”
“Oh.”
“Look, I’m pretty sure I know where you got your information from, and I won’t be mad at your parents. Why don’t I just explain it to you over dinner tonight in P-town.”
“I’d love to.”
When Gracie hung up the phone, she was raring to head out of town, especially knowing that she would get to see Marcus at home. Besides that, she was mentally ready for a break. Her mind was already exhausted just thinking of all the work would await her return. More meetings, more quotes, more aerobic classes to teach. She wanted to finalize a location for her second fitness center.
So the little prissy had been lying all the time. She hoped that she would remember to call Kendra and give her the latest gossip.
Right as she was about to get up and head to the door, Gracie’s phone rang. The name Rebecca McNab registered on the caller ID. Gracie knew to sit and take the call, ceasing other thoughts. Gracie had left a message a while back, but Rebecca hadn’t returned the call. Gracie knew that she needed to talk to Dillian’s sister right then and there.
“Hello?” Gracie answered.
“Gracie?”
“Yes? Hey, Rebecca. How are you?” Hand to her chest, Gracie slowly sat down.
“I’m okay, Gracie, but of course not the best. But the question is: how are you? I’m sorry I’m just now getting back with you.” Rebecca’s concern let Gracie know she already knew what had happened between her and Dillian.
Gracie shook her head “yes” as if Rebecca could see her, “I’m doing better. I’m trying to make it. Is Dillian there with you?”
“No, he’s not. Gracie, he didn’t only leave you, he left the whole family. No one has talked to him. Actually, we don’t even know if he’s still alive.”
“What?!”
Gracie found out that whatever it was that Dillian was running from didn’t only concern the two of them. Though it eased her pain a little, it also brought more turmoil in her mind. All she could think about was the “problem” that Dillian had and how he obviously felt he couldn’t talk to anyone close to him.
“What is he running from?” was all Gracie could repeatedly ask herself. He hadn’t left anything that hinted at his problem or problems. From his sister, Gracie found out that he ditched his two-way and cell phone, hadn’t been training at the gym, and couldn’t be found through a phone or an apartment in his name anywhere in the city.
“What could he be running from, Gracie? Do you have a clue?”
“Rebecca, even though I’m embarrassed to admit it, I haven’t a clue. I feel so stupid having lived with someone and not knowing that they were going through something so severe. I didn’t see it. Maybe it was me. Maybe it was just me.”
“Gracie, you can’t blame yourself, that’s for sure. Whatever Dillian is going through, it’s personal. Let’s pray that he’s doing the right thing.”
“My prayers have already started.”
Once in Paris, Gracie spent a couple of hours with her parents. Then, the phone rang, and Mr. Gregory answered it.
“Hey there, Mr. Gregory, how are you?” Marcus said.
“Aw, I can’t complain about anything. And yourself?”
“I guess I’ll be doing fine once you let me know your daughter has arrived.”
“Oh, yeah? Well, that girl that calls herself my daughter and already eating up my food? Yeah, she has arrived, all right.” Pausing for laughter, Mr. Gregory ushered Gracie to the telephone. “Hold on while I give her the phone, Marcus.”
Talking with Mr. Gregory had always been a treat for Marcus. He adored both of Gracie’s parents and made sure he dropped by to check on them whenever he was in town. He enjoyed their company as much as they did his.
Before handing the phone over to Gracie, Mr. Gregory told Marcus that he was happy that the two of them had finally crossed paths once again. Marcus couldn’t help but smile inside. Gracie had always meant a great deal to him. The love he had for her had surpassed any love he’d ever had for any of his other girlfriends. By the looks of things with his current dating habits, Gracie would never be matched.
Gracie knew everything about him; from his boyhood pranks and young man mistakes, but she had never given up on him. She just accepted that he wasn’t ready for a commitment bigger than what they already had. If it wasn’t for his desire to test the waters, Marcus knew they would have been married already. He also knew that he did the right thing by leaving off on a good note. That alone had promised him a happy return, which is what he knew this was.
“Hey, you made it?” Gracie asked when she came to the phone. Marcus could tell that she was excited to hear from him.
“About thirty minutes ago. Are you busy?”
“Boy, did you even get to kiss your momma hello before you called me?” She laughed. “Of course I’m busy. My momma got me making the grocery list. Nothing major though. What’s up?” Gracie winked her eye at her mother. Mrs. Gregory was about to go off on her for saying her chores were “nothing major.” Gracie put her index finger over her mouth, calming her mother down.
“Okay, well why don’t you go ahead and finish up with your folks. And if it’s okay with you, I’ll come by and pick you up about, let’s say, eight?”
“That’s fine. I’ll be ready.”
And ready she was. After hurrying her mother in the supermarket, Gracie raced into the house to get ready for her date.
She felt guilty about the date, but she knew she had to move on with her life. Gracie knew she still had to add Dillian to her agenda when she returned home. Beyond anything, she had to make sure, for herself, that all was well with him. Before heading into the shower, Gracie knelt down and said a silent prayer. She asked God to be with Dillian, give strength where needed, comfort him, and let all be well.
Gracie was surprised when she took in its romantic setting at the restaurant. She eyed Marcus and wondered what his plans were, not just for that night, but also for the rest of his life. She shook her head and smiled to herself. I will not rush anything.
“Oh, this is nice,” she said. “My parents told me about this place.”
It was a little out of the way, but Marcus was feeling romantic and wanted the ambiance to be just right. Besides, Marcus hoped that one day Gracie would be his, and this could be the perfect spot to get things started.
“Yeah, it’s a pretty nice place,” he conceded. He smiled down into Gracie’s face and slid her chair out. “Have a seat.”
After their waitress came over and they placed their orders, there was a slight pause between the two.
“You look nice, Gracie,” Marcus said, filling the pause with an earnest compliment.
Gracie giggled and blushed. “You sound like you just met me.”
“Well, I did, and I hope to get to know a little more about the new you.”
“Okay, I’m game. But aren’t you supposed to be clearing something up?”
Marcus thought quietly for a second before he remembered. “You’re right! About Michelle, right?”
“Right.”
“Well, we are definitely not together. I’m sorry if she’s been saying that and I plan on talking to her about it, but that’s not the case. We’re just dating. Remember the kids down here I was telling you about over the phone? The ones that I, along with other coaches, have been scouting? Well, when I needed a lawyer to handle paperwork or what have you, she was that lawyer. That turned into dating.” Marcus continued, “She’s a nice girl, but her self-esteem is one thing I can’t deal with ... I mean, I’m constantly letting her know that she worries about the wrong things.”
“Really? I’m sorry to hear that. Well, I can tell that Michelle likes you from how she talks about you at the gym, so I just want to let you know that I’m not trying to come in between anything you two have going on. I’m merely catching up with an old friend.”
With his eyebrow raised in disbelief, Marcus also raised his glass of wine for a toast. “To friends.”
Conversation flowed so seamlessly between the pair that it was hard to believe they ever had a break in their friendship. As each topic of conversation ended, another one began. Neither one wanted the night to end.
Things came to a halt when Marcus asked about Dillian and why he up and left Gracie. Her face went rigid and her mind blank. She was three seconds away from fainting and falling from her chair.
“I’m sorry,” Marcus said quickly. “Was I out of line?”
Taking a sip of water, Gracie was at a loss for words.
“Uh. Well, no you’re not out of line,” she whispered. “It’s just that I try not to think about it much.” She was still embarrassed about the whole thing. Discussing a walk out by a boyfriend with an old boyfriend was at the top of the list for embarrassments.
“Well, we most definitely don’t have to talk about it.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”
Despite the awkward moment, they were able to move back into normal conversation. They talked about their plans for the future and what was going on with their lives.
Gracie took in Marcus’s excitement over his new position as head coach with a university in the Dallas metropolitan area, which allowed him to move from Houston and closer to home. He was proud of being the first black man to take on the position, but even more exciting to him ... and equally so to Gracie, was that Marcus had no plans of leaving Dallas anytime soon. Gracie could tell he was hoping that that was a plus for her. It was.
The two smiled at each other across the table.
“Do you remember when I said that if neither of us were married by twenty-five, we should get married?” Marcus asked.
With eyes wide and a half grin on her face, Gracie couldn’t believe that Marcus had remembered something that was so meaningful to her. “Of course I remember. Why, you want to get married?” She joked as she picked up her glass of wine and brought it to her mouth.
“I might.” Noticing the pale look on Gracie’s face, Marcus grabbed for her hand. “I’m just kidding. See, that’s what you get for being so goofy. Nah, I was just seeing if you remembered.”
“Ha!” Gracie laughed, but her heart was beating like a jackhammer. “You are so funny.” She playfully slapped at his hand.
As the laughter subsided, Marcus said, “Seriously though, I thought about you a lot when we were apart. It was hard getting over you, but I did it. The bad thing is that I only did it because I had to. I mean, I wanted to do right by you and I know I was leaning the wrong way while we were together.”
Marcus cleared his throat and took in the raised eyebrow and slight smirk that presented itself on Gracie’s face.
“I know, I know,” he continued. “I did a lot of stupid stuff and I regret it all. I was young and dumb, but if you let me make it up to you, I’m going to do just that.”
Her eyes glazed, Gracie felt as if she were dreaming the words out of Marcus’s mouth. But she knew that it was all real. Her reaction said neither “yes” nor “no,” but “maybe.” Gracie’s heart was in her mouth and she chose to respond only with a smile.