Chapter Four

 

 

 

To Keri's utter amazement, he'd placed her and the children on the horse and walked by their side, slogging through the nearly knee high snow while guiding the horse back to his cabin.

What sort of man required payment from a woman by having her whore herself out to him but still behaved like a perfect gentleman? She glanced down at him and shook her head. She didn't understand him.

She'd hoped to never be in a position to stoop so low again but the frigid night she'd spent by a single flame, listening to her children's teeth chattering, changed that. She couldn't bare it. Couldn't watch them starve or freeze to death and do nothing to prevent it. If she had to bare herself to this harsh, angry man and let him slake his desire, then so be it. She'd do so three times a day if she had to.

It was late afternoon before his place came into view and Keri held Sophie to her just a little bit tighter. His small farm looked similar to the old home she had shared with John. The memories of his death, and the aftermath of his passing assaulted her, the terror she'd felt before one desperate act on her part had gone so wrong nearly stealing her breath.

She blinked and pushed the thought out of her mind. It did no good to dwell on the past.

The man led the horse to the cabin and reached for Aaron then Sophie, lifting them before setting them on the ground. When he turned to her, Keri could tell he was as uncomfortable touching her as she was at having him do it. He grabbed her around the waist and lifted her as if she weighed less than air and set her feet on the ground, taking two steps back once he did.

He nodded to the cabin door. "Go on inside. I need to take care of the horse, then I'll be in."

Keri waited until he shut the barn door behind him before opening the door to his cabin. She ushered the children in before going in herself, pushing the door shut behind her.

It took a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the low light and she blinked rapidly until everything came into focus. The cabin consisted of a bed and a single rocking chair facing the fireplace. A large trunk sat at the foot of the bed, its latch open. Articles of clothing hung from pegs nailed into the wall by the bed. A lean-to kitchen was situated on the right of the door. She craned her neck to look inside. A stove and a small table with two chairs lined one wall, a sink on the other. Shelves lining the wall held plates, cups and more food than Keri had ever seen. Bags of dry good, jars of preserves and canned meats, baskets and bins filled to capacity left her in awe. This man had enough food to feed half the town.

The moment she thought of him, the door opened and she turned, grabbing Aaron and Sophie by the shoulders and pulled them next to her. The man hung his hat on a peg by the door then removed his coat, hanging it as well. When he turned to face them, he looked more uncomfortable than Keri felt.

He took up most of the space by the door. He stood at a height much taller than most. He looked strongly built and healthy. The beard covering his face was scraggly and much too long and it hid his features well. The white puckered scar on his face was probably why he wore it so unkempt and his hair didn't look as if it had been combed in some time. He looked…wild. Untamed.

Clearing his throat, he glanced around the room. "The cabin's not much but there's plenty to eat."

Sophie turned and looked up at her. "Can we eat now?"

Keri shushed her and looked back up at the man. He gave her a flickering glance, then crossed the room, added a few logs to the fire and had a good blaze going by the time he stood and faced her again.

For reasons she didn't understand, her heart started pounding. He was on the other side of the room but his presence seemed to suck all the air from the small space. She blinked, met his gaze, and ignored her pounding heart. "Are you sure about this arrangement?" He raised his hand to scratch at his beard and Keri noticed he hadn't taken off his gloves. She puzzled over the fact until he spoke.

"I wouldn't have wasted my morning bringing you back with me if I wasn't sure."

He sounded angry again. Keri glanced away from his disgruntled face. He really was an ill-tempered man. "You live alone?"

"Yes."

Turning back to face him, she met his gaze. "What shall we call you?"

He said nothing for long moments, the silence becoming unbearable before he finally said, "I'm Noah Lloyd."

Keri stared at him, wondering how he expected her to repay him in such a small space. She looked at Aaron and gave him a smile. "Take Sophie by the fire so she can get warm."

Aaron took Sophie's hand and led her away. Mr. Lloyd crossed the room again, closer to where she stood but still too far away for her to talk to him without the kids hearing.

She took a tentative step toward him, then another, his suspicious eyes narrowing the closer she got. When Keri was sure Aaron and Sophie Ann were out of hearing range, she wondered how to word what needed to be said.

A simple glance at his face and her confidence wavered. Could she really do this again? A small voice in the back of her mind whispered that she didn't have a choice.

Not able to meet his eyes, she chose to stare at his chest instead. "Not that I'm ungrateful for your generosity, but your cabin doesn't offer much in the way of privacy, Mr. Lloyd."

He glanced across the room, his brow scrunching as if thinking. "I can hang a blanket by the bed. It isn't much but it'll have to do."

Keri's stomach rolled. Did he expect her to spread her legs with her children in the same room with her? "When?" The word came out as a soft, breathy whisper.

"When what?"

She finally met his eyes. "When would you like payment for your hospitality?"

He stared at her for long minutes, confusion clouding his face. When it cleared, dread settled like a stone in her stomach.

"In the morning will be fine."

Keri sighed and glanced back at Aaron and Sophie. They were still by the fire, chatting softly. "If it's all the same to you, Mr. Lloyd, I'd just as soon get it over with." She glanced into the lean-to kitchen and nodded to it with her head. "In there. Aaron will keep Sophie occupied."

The confusion she'd seen on his face returned, only this time it didn't clear. He stared at her, his eyes narrowed. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

Her face heated until she knew her skin reflected her embarrassment. She lifted her hands, clenched the collar of her shirt in her fingers, and glanced at his face. "For your payment," she said, her voice pitched low so Aaron and Sophie wouldn't hear. "I'd rather not prolong it. It will only make me more uncomfortable."

The confusion on his face grew. If he was waiting on her to say it point blank, he'd be waiting all night. His eyes suddenly cleared, then widened, before his cheeks darkened to a blistering red. He opened his mouth but closed it with a snap before turning and walking into the kitchen. Keri sighed, told Aaron and Sophie Ann to stay put, and followed him.

He stood facing the stove, his arms down by his side. He was clenching and unclenching his gloved fists. She watched him for long minutes before crossing the room. She hesitated when she reached him but sucked in a calming breath and stepped around him. His eyes were closed, small lines bracketing them and causing the scar to pucker more. She pondered his odd behavior. Had he changed his mind? Was he reconsidering the payment?

The strain on his face never lifted. She reached up and laid her palm to his chest. He flinched as if she'd shot him, his eyes snapping open to stare at her. "Have you changed your mind, Mr. Lloyd?"

His jaw clenched, his gaze boring into her as his face once again reddened. "What exactly are you offering me as payment, Mrs. Hilam?"

It was her turn to blush. "Well, myself…" The words came out as a strained croak. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Anything you'd like, Mr. Lloyd. There's not much I haven't already had to do, so nothing you ask for will shock me."

 

 

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The moment the words were out of her mouth, all the blood in Noah's body drained into his lower extremities. His heart pounded, and even though the woman was bone thin and dirty, he pictured her naked, her limbs long and silky smooth as they wrapped around his hips. Her full pink lips on his skin, her body warm and wet and welcoming.

He sucked in a breath and willed his growing erection away as his neck and face heated, embarrassment burning until he couldn't breathe past it. Her hand still rested on his chest and he backed up to break the contact. "There's been some confusion, Mrs. Hilam. I don't want you in my bed."

Relief washed over her face, the strained lines bracketing her mouth vanishing quickly before another emotion all together flashed across her features. The scared, timid glint in her eyes changed in an instant, her blue eyes filling with hurt and embarrassment. She looked away, her head lowering a fraction. "I'm sorry. I assumed…" Her cheeks turned red, misery clouding her eyes again as she reached up to grab the high collar of her dress as if to hold the garment closed. "I'm afraid I misunderstood you. Others always wanted…" Her eyes closed briefly before she shook her head.

She didn't have to say what the others wanted from her and Noah was glad she didn't speak it aloud. He stared at her, visions of her climbing into someone's bed just so she could feed her children sickened him and his earlier thoughts of her naked and wanting him caused his stomach to churn, acid boiling inside his gut until he thought he'd be sick. Of course she didn't want him. Why would she?

His gaze swept her small frame again and he knew he shouldn't have brought her to the house. The townsfolk would talk when they found out. And they would find out. Nothing was a secret for long in Willow Creek. Once they knew, the rumors would fly unchecked. The homeless widow taking up with the town monster. He cringed just thinking about what they'd all say.

He pushed the thought out of his head, cleared his throat and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I only meant for you to do the cooking while you're here," he said, steering the conversation back to neutral ground. "It isn't necessary but if you wish to repay me, something other than beans and venison stew would be nice."

Her cheeks were still red but she lifted her gaze, met his own and nodded her head. "Is there anything in particular you'd like?"

The vision of her naked filled his mind again and he shook his head to dispel it. "No. Anything you'd like to cook is fine." She nodded her head and glanced around the small kitchen. He looked as well.

"Your provisions are enough to feed a small army, Mr. Lloyd."

"I don't like going to town," he said, taking in the shelves and bins of food he'd stockpiled. "I've enough to last all winter." He faced her again and inhaled a large breath. "There's stew there on the stove behind you. Bowls on the shelf over the sink. I'll go rig up that blanket around the bed while you feed those kids." He walked away but stopped when he reached the doorway. "There's hot water in the reservoir on the stove if you'd like to clean up." She nodded and he walked back into the main room. The kids talked quietly as they sat by the fire but looked up at him when he crossed the room. He ignored them, reached into the chest at the foot of the bed and dug out a few more blankets.

The woman called the kids, all three of them disappearing into the kitchen and Noah let out the pent up breath he'd been holding. What the hell was he doing? He avoided people as if they had the plague, didn't offer to speak to anyone he encountered, and tried his best to not be seen. So why did he invite this woman and her kids into his home? What had he been thinking?

The wind rattled the window and he glanced out at the darkening sky. He didn't know how long the storm would last but the moment the roads were passable, he'd take them into town and forget he'd ever seen them. They could be someone else's problem.

Soft laughter drifted into the room from the kitchen. He looked toward the doorway, imagining them around his small table and for some unexplainable reason, his heart gave a mighty thump at the noise. For the first time since moving to Willow Creek, his small cabin wasn't quiet. He barely heard the ticking of the clock on the mantel or the wood in the fireplace popping as it burnt. Childish giggles filled the air and he was loath to admit how nice it sounded.

A lifetime of regrets conjured images of a life he barely remembered living, his future changed in one tragic moment that still haunted him. He shook his head to clear the images and looked to the ceiling, wondering how he would secure the blankets, and ignored those gleeful sounds filling his home.