Chapter Twenty Four

 

 

 

Noah heard her as if she'd shouted, but he had a hard time processing what she'd said. She wanted to kiss him again?

The knowledge nearly knocked the breath out of him.

He'd run through every emotion he could name trying to figure out what the hell was happening between them and why. As of yet, nothing made sense. They'd been so uncomfortable around each other at the town’s Christmas party, his frustration making it hard to say more than three words to her without getting tongue tied. Then every single man in town had sauntered up to her as if she were on display just for their pleasure and that frustration had turned to anger, the fear she'd accept a marriage proposal from one of those prospective husbands despite his pretending to be married to her burning his gut until thoughts of violence ran like moving pictures inside his head.

And the blame for that fell completely on her shoulders.

Living alone for so long, and caring for nothing or no one, had given him a sense of peace. The people of Willow Creek may cross the street to avoid walking on the same side of the sidewalk as he did, but he ventured into town so seldom, he didn't really care. He'd grown complacent. Falling into a routine so mundane, that the moment it was disturbed, he hadn't known what to do.

Being thrust into providing and protecting this slip of a woman and her kids, a job he'd taken on for reasons he hadn't wanted to think about at the time, left him feeling…. exposed. For the first time in years, what he did mattered. Having Keri cast those shy smiles his way made the way he was perceived, matter.

The man he'd transformed into over the years wasn't the man he wanted to be now. He wasn't the man he wanted Keri to see. That man wasn't good enough for her smiles. He didn't deserve the things she did for him. The meals she cooked, or the clothes she washed, just so she'd feel as if she were paying him back for letting them stay with him. She'd softened him. Made him care.

Then she'd kissed him and stirred something he thought long dead. Something that made him vulnerable. And it scared the hell out of him.

He'd had his heart ripped out once and he wasn't in the mood to repeat old mistakes, but looking down at her upturned face, her lips only inches away from his, he thought it might be worth the risk to taste her once again. To take his time, soak in every aspect of her, remember the way she felt against him, and commit to memory the scent lingering on her skin. To never forget the sound of those tiny mewling sounds she made when he'd loved her.

All he had to do was move his head another few inches and he'd be able to taste her lips, to sate the longing he'd been struggling to ignore since he'd walked away from her, too afraid of what he'd see in her eyes if he lingered. But he saw now. He didn't understand why, but Keri still wanted him and even now, waited on him…

"Ma, are you and Noah kissin'?"

Keri jumped, her cheeks blooming bright red in an instant. She jerked away from him, her eyes wide as she peered over his shoulder at Aaron. "I most certainly am not," she told him, hastily. "We were just talking."

"Then why wasn't your lips moving?"

If possible, her blush increased, her cheeks turning blistering scarlet. Noah smiled, guided the horse into the pines and bit his tongue to keep from laughing. He went as far as he could with the sled and tugged on the reins, getting the horse to stop near a cluster of trees.

"Are we there?" Sophie Ann asked.

Noah looked at Keri, her eyes darting at everything around her but him. "Yes, we're there." He looked over his shoulder at them. "You still got that hatchet, Aaron?"

The boy stood, his shoulders pulled back as if he were ten foot tall and lifted his arm to show him the hatchet. "Got it right here."

"All right then. Go find us a tree."

Sophie and Aaron tossed their blankets aside and took off at a run, Duke following on their heels as they darted between the small pines searching for the perfect tree. Noah watched them for long moments before turning his attention back to Keri. She was still blushing at Aaron thinking she was kissing him, something she'd said she couldn't stop thinking about. Heat surged through his body at the mere thought, images of them together flashing in his mind's eye and he hardened in an instant.

He lifted his hand, curled a finger under her chin so she'd look at him and waited until he knew he had her attention. Then he kissed her, the contact brief and soft, a mere brush of his lips against her own before he pulled away. "When we don't have an audience, I'd like to kiss you properly."

She blinked up at him and nodded her head before he scooted her off his lap and climbed from the horse. When he reached for her, settling his hands on her waist and lifting her from the horses back, the desire he saw shining in her eyes quickened his breath.

 

 

* * * *

 

 

Aaron and Sophie hadn't been this happy since before John died. Keri watched them scouting the forest, looking for the perfect Christmas tree while snow swirled around them.

She'd found a tree to lean against to watch them. They were meticulous in their search, discarding trees for being too big, or not green enough. Their happy chatter was the perfect distraction. As long as she watched them, she could ignore the fact that she was so uncharacteristically nervous. The fact Noah leaned against the tree beside her only made it worse, those fluttering butterflies in her stomach flitting in ferocious patterns for no other reason than he was so near.

He'd yet to say anything since lifting her from the horse. Since giving her a barely there kiss with the promise of more. Her heart hadn't stopped pounding yet and her confusion at the sudden change in his attitude left her dizzy.

Had she been wrong about why he left so quickly after making love to her? About why he was so quiet and acted as if he didn't want to discuss what had happened?

She'd assumed his silence had been because of her. That he'd not enjoyed being with her. Robert certainly complained enough, being sure to tell her of every fault, then proceeding to instruct her how he wanted her to move and react. She'd never satisfied him and assumed that was the reason Noah left so abruptly, too.

But that soft kiss he'd given her.... It made no sense that he'd kiss her if he'd been disappointed. Would he?

He shifted beside her, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Aaron and Sophie Ann. She noticed his gloved hands. He'd not removed those gloves when they'd tumbled onto the bed. Nor had he removed his clothes. He hadn't even pushed his pants down that she knew of. Not that unusual since their encounter had been so quick, she was barely undressed herself, but the more she thought about it, the more she began to wonder. Was Noah hiding more than just his hands? And was that why he'd left so abruptly?

Sophie Ann squealed, her delighted giggles drawing her attention to them. It looked as if they'd found their tree. Aaron was determined to chop it down himself, apparently, and made Sophie Ann stand back until he was satisfied she was out of harm’s way. Then he fell to his knees and swung the hatchet. It barely chipped the wood. Keri grinned. They'd be here until dark if Noah didn't eventually help him. "You know he'll never get that cut down by himself, don't you?"

One of those rare smiles of his turned the corners of his mouth. "I know." He glanced down at her. "I'll help him out when he's tired of trying."

Silence once again made her uncomfortable. She shook her head at the irony. She'd spent nearly two years wishing Robert would swallow his own tongue just so she didn't have to hear him talk. The man loved the sound of his own voice so much, he rarely ever shut up. She should be glad Noah was so quiet but, for some strange reason, she wasn't. Him being quiet unnerved her so she tried to think of something to say. Anything to break the silence.

The only thing she could think of caused her to squirm. As uncomfortable as she felt, she knew she needed to say something. She inhaled deeply, then once again, before clearing her throat. "I'm sorry for looking through your journal," she said, crossing her arms over her chest and glancing at her feet. "I had no right to look through your things."

For once, he answered right away. "It's fine." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him turn his head to look at her. "They're just drawings."

"They're more than that." She recalled every sketch she saw, how perfectly he'd captured the faces of everyone he'd drawn. His life was etched into that book. She knew by looking that the scenes he'd drawn were from his memories. "It's rare for someone to have such talent, especially way out here in the middle of nowhere."

Silence fell again thick enough she thought she could touch it. Noah was still looking at her, his head tilted to one side as usual, but he unfolded his arms, sticking his hands into his coat pockets instead. "You liked them, then?"

Keri turned to look at him and nodded. "I think they're beautiful." The drawing of her flashed in her mind's eye. "All of them."

His gaze touched every feature of her face, the look in his eyes so warm, it felt like a soft caress. "Not nearly as beautiful as the real thing."

Her heart nearly beat out of her chest at his words. She knew he meant her, the play of emotions on his face told her as much.

They saw Aaron at the same time and looked his way. He was standing there staring at them, the hatchet in his hand, his chest rising and falling quickly. He'd worn himself out trying to chop down that tree.

Noah held his hand out, Aaron handing the hatchet over without a word. The tree fell minutes later, Sophie Ann still where Aaron had told her to stand.

The tree was tied to the end of the sled, the kids climbing back on and bundling up in the blankets. When Noah once again lifted her to his lap and started back to the house, the tension she'd felt since the day before was gone, the air around them less heavy.

Snow still fell, blanketing the world in white, and the warmth of the cabin when they made it back home, welcomed. Noah and Aaron built a base for the tree and set it next to the window, Sophie Ann's excitement still shining in her eyes as she watched.

They spent the rest of the evening decorating that little tree with bits of ribbon and hand drawn pictures Aaron and Sophie meticulously cut out with scissors. There wasn't much else to put on it, but they didn't seem to mind. The tree was enough. That and knowing they wouldn't miss Christmas.

 

 

* * * *

 

 

It took three days for Willow Creek to thaw, the snow finally melting enough to take Aaron and Sophie back to school. Noah had lived alone for a damn long time and never once went stir crazy. Until now.

He tapped the last nail into the horseshoe and lowered the horse’s leg, letting his hoof hit the ground then patted the animal on the neck. Tossing the hammer back into the box, his thoughts once again drifted back to Keri. Of that kiss he said he'd give her. A kiss he'd yet been able to have.

They hadn't had five minutes alone since they'd chopped the tree down and dragged it back to the house, the snow making it impossible to get to school, which meant Aaron and Sophie Ann were underfoot most of the day. They raced out to play for small snatches of time but it wasn't long enough. Noah wanted more than stolen kisses when the kids' backs were turned. He wanted to be able to linger and take his time about it. And the wait was killing him.

The horse throwing a shoe on the way home from town just prolonged his agony. Three days of her smiles, of those secret looks she gave him when she didn't think he noticed. Three days of waiting for a kiss.

He shook his head and guided the horse to his stall, securing the gate behind him. The trip from town took nearly half an hour and he'd had time aplenty then, but kissing her in the open seemed wrong. He checked the other animals, made sure they were settled and left the barn, anticipation thrumming through his veins.

A small fluttering sensation around his heart stopped him at the door, breathing difficult all of a sudden as a case of nerves prevented him from going inside. A dozen questions whispered across his mind just then, the loudest, asking him what he was doing, ringing inside his head. What was he doing? He sighed, ran a hand over his face and waited for an answer. One never came.

Thoughts of Keri plagued him daily and he couldn't get her out of his head. Nor did he want to, if he were honest with himself. He'd been alone for so long, it had taken time to get used to being around people again but now he had trouble imagining life without Keri and her kids in it.

And it scared the hell out of him.

The pain of what Isabelle had done to him had lessened over the years but he never wanted to feel the hurt of another loss like that. He knew Keri would never turn her back on him like Isabelle had, but she would leave him. The moment her brother contacted her, she'd leave, and he'd be left with nothing again. The thought caused his chest to ache.

But what if Peter never came?

Believing Keri's brother would never contact her would make things less complicated. He'd be free to explore whatever it was between them without fear of her leaving. Without ever having to give her up, and if he knew nothing else, it was that he didn't want to be without her. Even if she never loved him, having her look at him as if she enjoyed him being there was enough. To see those smiles she always graced him with.

That small fluttering in his chest grew until his heart was pounding, thoughts of keeping Keri always whispering inside his head. Would she stay with him if he asked her to? Would she stop pretending to be married to him and be a true wife instead? Did she want him enough to stay forever?

Ask her and find out.

Sweat broke out on his forehead. Common sense knocked the stupid notion out of his head and he took a cleansing breath and pushed the thought away. At the moment, he had more pleasant things to think about. Like that kiss he'd been waiting three long days for.

He opened the door with one thought whispering inside his head. Regardless of what happened in the future, he'd be a fool if he didn't at least let Keri know how much he wanted her. Removing his hat and coat, he hung them on the peg by the door and looked around the room.

Then froze, his heart skipping a beat before racing inside his chest.

Keri was in the tub, light from the fireplace bathing her in soft shadows. She looked his way then stood, the water droplets shining on her skin sparkling as if she'd been dipped in diamonds.

When she lifted a leg and stepped out onto the rug, every delicious inch of her was bared for him. He took in every curve, dip and dimple, the swell of each breast, her pink nipples hard and pebbled. His gaze landed on the thatch of curly blond hair at the apex of her thighs and he suddenly forgot how to breathe.