PASTA: IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD,
THEY CALL IT “MACARONI”

The Italians and the Japanese eat more pasta than anyone else in the world, and apart from that time they were on the wrong side of World War II, when have they been wrong about anything? On a scale of one to the best thing ever, the noodle-shop ramen in Tokyo and cacio e pepe in Rome is somewhere between having a threesome and winning the lotto. Maid cafes and tentacle porn? Sure, why not. The Coliseum? Yeah, OK. But those pasta bowls were life-changing experiences, the kind of shit you remember on your deathbed. So I’m here to take you to church and spread the macaroni gospel.