I’ve seen a million recipes for poached eggs, and I’ve found a million ways to fuck them up. I’ve stirred the water and made a tiny whirlpool vortex. I’ve added white vinegar. I’ve made cute little Saran-wrapped egg packages. I somehow always end up with a raw salmonella bomb, or an overcooked rock. Luckily, David Chang is even more obsessed with the perfect poached egg than I am, and his quasi-Japanese slow-poach method is the best (and easiest). I’ve taken it a step further and simplified it so even you can do it. No thermometers needed. You can’t screw it up even if it’s your intention to make a sub-par poached egg. This is “unfuckupable.”
4 large eggs, at room temperature (or at least not freezing)
2 tablespoons butter
1 large onion, thinly sliced
4 garlic cloves, grated on a microplane
Kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper
1 bunch red chard
1 cup Israeli couscous (the kind that looks like little round pellets, not grains of sand)
2 cups vegetable broth
1. Place a steamer basket in the bottom of a large pot. Put the eggs in the basket, and fill the pot three-quarters of the way with very hot tap water. Place over one of the small burners on your stovetop and bring the water to a boil. Adjust the heat to the lowest setting and let cook for 20 minutes. Then turn the heat off and let the eggs have a steam bath for 25 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, melt the butter in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the onion, garlic, and a punch of salt. Stir well and turn the heat up a little higher.
3. Remove the stems from the chard and slice them into small pieces. Add to the onion mixture and stir. Chop the rest of the chard and add to the mix. The onions should be fragrant and brown-ish. If they aren’t, wait until they are, then add the couscous. Stir and cook for 1 minute.
4. Add the broth, cover, and bring to a boil. Reduce to the lowest heat and cook for 10 minutes. Turn off the heat and let sit for 5 minutes. Taste and adjust the seasoning if needed.
5. Divide the couscous among four bowls or plates.
6. Crack the eggs, one at a time, into a small cup. Then slide the egg from the cup on top of the couscous. Crack some black pepper on the egg.
7. Eat it. But first, break the egg apart and let the yolk dribble out to make the perfect sauce.