Look, I understand your frustration. If I had to eat the quinoa you made, I’d hate it, too. It’s not your fault, though. Until this recipe you just didn’t know any better. When you throw 1 part quinoa and 2 parts water in a pot and boil that shit for 20 minutes, it tastes like bland nothing. If you overcook it, you end up with a mushy, porridge-like hot mess. Please sir, can I not have some more? It sucks.
Out of everything I learned in culinary school, two things really stuck with me: 1) Everybody looks terrible in a chef’s jacket and check pants. Seriously, I went to school with some outrageously attractive people, but didn’t realize it until we graduated and I saw them in regular clothes. 2) There is a correct way to make quinoa. And I will share it with you.
2 tablespoons butter (Vegans, sub in olive oil or coconut oil.)
1 onion, cut into small dice
½ teaspoon ground cumin (optional, but you should opt in)
1 cup quinoa, rinsed
1¾ cups vegetable broth
Kosher salt and ground black pepper
1. Melt the butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Throw in the onion with some salt and cumin and stir to coat.
2. Cook that onion until it’s brown and caramelized. Resist the temptation to stir it too much—let the heat do the work.
3. Add the quinoa to the pot and stir it in with the browned onions. Give it a minute then add EXACTLY 1¾ cups of broth. It’ll get to a boil really quickly. Cover and turn the heat as low as it can go.
4. Cook for EXACTLY 12 minutes. Set a timer.
5. Remove the pot from the heat and let the quinoa sit for 5 minutes.
6. Fluff it with a fork, season with salt and pepper to taste, then hit it with a little oil and stir to combine.
JUST THE TIP: If you have some weird hippie grain and you don’t know how to cook it, just boil a pot of water like you were making pasta, throw it in, and check on it every 5 minutes until it tastes ready.