THE WHITEST SALAD YOU’LL EVER EAT: FIDDLEHEADS, KALE, AND PINE NUTS WITH RAMP PESTO

This salad is so white, it probably oppressed your ancestors. This salad is so white, it thinks the cucumber sandwich moving in next door is going to kill property values. If it could wear shoes, they’d be Sperry Top-Siders; if it could dance, it would be embarrassing; if it had Facebook, it would post three times a week about its rescue dog cancer charity 5k. If it went to the beach, it would need SPF 100. If it could complain, it would say, “well why isn’t there a white history month?”

To stay true to the theme, I bought all the ingredients at the farmers’ market, so we’re talking $9 per serving, and the serving size is ridiculously small.

 

1 bunch ramps (wash them well)

¼ cup olive oil

¼ teaspoon kosher salt

¼ cup water

¼ cup Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese

¼ cup pine nuts

2 tablespoons butter

2 cups fiddlehead ferns (Wash them well, too. They can be nasty.)

2 cups baby kale

1. Start by making the pesto. Chop the ramps and put them all (we’re mixing whites and greens) in the bowl of a food processor. Add the olive oil, salt, water, and cheese and pulse until you’ve made a pesto.

2. Set a large sauté pan over medium-high heat. Throw in the pine nuts until they start to smell toasty, then give them a shake and melt the butter in the pan.

3. Add the fiddleheads and sauté for 3 to 5 minutes until tender but with a bite. (Like how you’d want your asparagus sautéed.)

4. Turn off the heat. Add the baby kale to the pan, and stir in until wilted.

5. Portion the fiddlehead and kale mix out into 4 plates, or 6 plates for super WASPy size. Add a dollop of pesto on top.