Mary Josephine Loiva Siochi Claridades was eighteen years old and a university student when she met Teddy Gonzales. Teddy, who was almost four years older than Loiva, fell for her delicate beauty and quiet poise instantly. With the determination he applied to his other goals, Teddy set about making her his wife.
At the time, Loiva was living at home with her mother, Amelita Claridades, and her father, Spanish-born dentist Simeon Claridades. Amelita had a passion for developing and selling real estate. When she decided to put her Baguio house on the market, Teddy paid a visit to the Claridades home. Amelita held a high regard for the responsible young man. He was a competent estate agent and charged at a reasonable rate.
Emily Luna, Loiva’s younger sister, was aged eleven at the time and was vicariously interested in the possibility of a blooming love affair in her sister’s life. She remembers Teddy’s reaction to Loiva when he came to their home.
‘Teddy was actually selling our house at that time and he brought in an uncle of his, I think, who was interested in buying our house, and at that time our family was at home. The first time he laid eyes on my sister he didn’t let go. My dad would talk to him and he’d be staring at my sister.’
Freddie Gonzales, too, recalls that Teddy was taken by Loiva. Freddie accompanied his brother to a family dinner at the Claridades home around that time.
‘I was married then already, so I said, that’s a nice lady. I started telling him it’s about time [you settled down]. He did say yes, that’s a pretty lady,’ Freddie says.
In Freddie’s view, Loiva had qualities that made her wife material: ‘She was very prim, proper, nice, like somebody ideal for a family, to be a wife and mother.’
Teddy’s courtship of Loiva was old-fashioned. The ground rules were set by Loiva’s parents: Teddy visited Loiva at her home, or if they wanted to go out on a date, they were to be chaperoned by Amelita.
There was no kissing allowed, but Teddy was permitted to hold Loiva’s hand. This hand-holding would become a loving habit of theirs for the rest of their lives. Many people would comment on how rare it was to see a long-married couple remain so affectionate.
Perhaps it was because of the restrictions imposed on them in their courtship that they valued this simple act of affection. While these rules may seem outdated now, in the 1970s in the Philippines, when many women married the first man they dated, such restrictions were not altogether unusual, explains Emily.
Another of Loiva’s sisters, Annie Paraan, recalls that Teddy became a frequent visitor to the Claridades home long after his prospective buyer decided against purchasing it.
‘My sister was at home then, that’s when he saw my sister and according to him he fell in love. He started to come over to the house even if there were no buyers.’
The Claridades family nicknamed Teddy after the cartoon character ‘Speedy Gonzales’, as he would call to say he would come over, then arrive two minutes later, eager to see Loiva.
Emily would meet him at the front gate, holding onto his arm and chatting as she led him to the house. She liked Teddy, who had a wicked sense of humour and enjoyed teasing her. ‘He would be really welcome in the family, he was funny and warm as well,’ she says.
Annie Paraan describes the couple’s courtship as a ‘whirlwind affair’, lasting two or three months before he proposed marriage.
Teddy had to overcome reluctance on the part of Loiva’s father, as Loiva was so young and only in her first semester at St Louis University. However, Amelita’s fondness for Teddy and the fact he was making such a success of himself early in life won over Simeon Claridades.
So on 12 June 1977, Teddy and Loiva married in the chapel in the grounds of St Louis University. It was a small, simple wedding, just family and some of Teddy’s close friends. The ceremony was conducted by an elderly Catholic priest, Father Desmet James, one of Teddy’s friends.
Annie Paraan remembers Teddy being extremely excited. Loiva was obviously happy, but, with a sister’s insight, Annie saw she was also nervous. ‘Loiva was very shy, especially as that was her first kiss. My parents were very conservative when they were dating, so her first kiss was at her wedding.’
Emily recalls that when the time came for the groom to kiss the bride, Loiva nervously pulled back for a moment, eliciting a chuckle from the onlookers.
With the vows said, the wedding party moved on to the reception at the five-star Hyatt Terraces in Baguio. The young couple honeymooned at La Union, a resort town west of Baguio, perched on the South China Sea.
Teddy’s and Loiva’s marriage was, if not one of equals, close to it, which was unusual in conservative Filipino society. They appeared to have tremendous respect for one another. Annie Paraan recalls, for example, that if the usually shy Loiva strongly voiced opposition to a decision of Teddy’s, he would sometimes give in to her will. ‘And, if my sister would come in conflict with Teddy’s mother, Teddy would side with Loiva. This would make his mother sometimes hurt,’ she says.
Another example of Teddy’s devotion to his wife was his tolerance of her pets. Teddy was not a pet person, whereas Loiva loved animals, especially cats, says Freddie. ‘She would have one or two and pamper them like babies, which was the opposite of Teddy, he didn’t like pets. But of course he did his best to like them too.’
Annie Paraan says there was a streak of independence in Loiva that showed itself from time to time. ‘I see her as a timid person, although sometimes she could be difficult. I think she showed that kind of personality when she believed she was right and she was the type that when she won’t be able to get her way she would rather not talk.’
This behaviour perhaps had its roots in Loiva’s childhood, particularly the first nine years of her life.
Unlike Teddy, Loiva was raised not in Baguio but in Malabon, a suburb of Manila. She was the first of six children. Next came Annie, then Edmund and Joseph, then Emily and, finally, Liza.
‘When my parents got married and my mother was carrying Loiva, they didn’t have a house yet, they were living with my maternal grandparents in Malabon,’ says Annie.
When Loiva was about three years old, Amelita and Simeon moved to a house in Cala’ocon City, about 30 minutes’ drive from Malabon. However, Loiva’s grandmother became very sickly and offered part of her land in Malabon to her daughter and son-in-law to build a house, so they moved back.
While the rest of the Claridades children were raised in their parents’ house, their grandmother, who doted on Loiva as the eldest, prevailed upon Amelita to let Loiva sleep in her house. So while Loiva played with her younger brothers and sisters during the day, she was in effect living apart from them.
It appears the younger children were aware of her special status. Annie says Loiva was spoiled by her grandmother as a young girl, and was given her choice of new, imported dolls to play with. Annie still recalls a big glass cabinet in her grandmother’s house that displayed Loiva’s extensive doll collection. Once, Annie, who was fascinated by the blonde hair on a particular doll, asked if she could touch it.
‘I asked if I could touch the hair to feel the difference between the doll’s hair and mine, because I’d only ever felt black hair. She said, “Okay, I will allow you to touch”, but there was always something she would ask me to do for her [in return].’
WHILE THIS SPECIAL treatment could have seemed like a dream to a young child, there is some doubt whether this was actually the case for Loiva.
At that time Manila was torn with violence in the lead-up to President Ferdinand Marcos’s declaration of martial law. There were numerous protests in the Plaza Miranda, close to where Loiva and Annie attended St Theresa’s College in San Marcelino. Amelita would keep tuned to the radio for the increasingly frequent announcements of the school closing so the children could be brought home to safety.
In 1969, Loiva’s grandmother’s health declined, and her death, as well as the increasing unrest in Manila, led Amelita and Simeon to move north to Baguio.
Initally the family moved into a house belonging to a friend of Amelita’s. Then Simeon and Amelita bought a small parcel of land and built a house, into which the family moved. Amelita converted the basement into a sewing and clothes repair shop, encouraging the children to help out. Loiva was not very keen on sewing and preferred watching TV, Annie Paraan remembers, but she showed artistic flair in her school art assignments.
‘I felt she had problems adjusting to us because when she moved in she had gotten used to getting her way, now when she moved to us my parents were not that well off [and] there were four of us children home,’ says Annie.
Annie Gonzales-Tesoro, Teddy’s sister, remembers Loiva breaking down in tears years later as she confessed to some unhappiness in her childhood.
‘The first nine years of her life she was raised by her grandmother, then her grandmother died and she went to live with the rest of her brothers and sisters,’ says Annie. ‘She told me that when she moved in with them she had to sleep on the floor because there wasn’t enough room for her.’
The family had a maid — typical of many households in the Philippines — but after a year she left the job and the children had to do the household chores. Loiva was not used to it, and like many children would shirk washing the dishes if she could get away with it.
In Baguio, Loiva was enrolled in the Holy Family Academy and she continued there throughout high school before attending St Louis University, enrolling in a business course.
However, when she married, family responsibilities took over, and she left university.