The journey back to Lagonia stretches on. Ten days feel like a decade. I stick to my cabin, giving the men room to grieve their losses, to hold their funerals without the reminder of the reason they died gleaming in front of them.
It gives me time to visit my father.
I hoped he would grow stronger as the gold grew closer, but I don’t notice much change in him. When I visit, I notice his lips have lost any color they held, and his skin is nearly transparent. I can’t bear to stay long at his side, afraid his chest will cease moving entirely.
I always return to my body drained.
At least I’m sleeping through the night. I thought having the gold on board would be the cause of a lot of restless nights. But I barely even notice the aura anymore.
I do notice the looks Royce gives me, quick glances before looking away. We haven’t really spoken much since the battle. Since I kissed him.
I convince myself it’s for the best. After we make port, Royce will return to his life at sea, and I’ll go back to life in the palace. That will be that. Why fight the inevitable?
But Hettie doesn’t seem to share my feelings.
She bursts into the cabin one afternoon while I’m reading. “There’s going to be dancing tonight since we make port tomorrow,” she says, swaying about the room and rummaging through my trunk for something she can fit into. “You’re coming,” she continues, straightening and holding one of my dresses across her body. “You need to get out of this cabin. You’re starting to look pale . . . well, paler gold.” She drops the dress and begins rummaging again. She reemerges with a red dress. She tosses it at me. “Put it on.”
“I can’t . . .”
She crosses her arms and stares at me. “Don’t make me put it on you myself.”
I run my hands over the silky fabric, the feeling reminding me of my nearly forgotten days as a princess. I force myself to meet her gaze. “We’re not going to see them again. After tomorrow.” There’s no nice way of putting it.
Hettie acts as if I haven’t spoken. She pulls a blue dress with a flared skirt over her head. “If you’re not up there in ten minutes, I’m telling my father it was your idea to bring me on this trip.” She smirks and flounces out of the room before I can reply.
That was our biggest threat when we were younger, one of us telling Uncle Pheus on the other. My father let us have the run of the palace. It was Uncle Pheus we had to watch out for.
I can’t help but laugh.
Then I moan. My arm still hurts, but Royce wrapped it nicely after Hettie sewed it up. Who knew all those embroidery lessons about tiny stitches would actually be good for something someday?
I stare down at my arms, at the skin I always thought was ugly. But I’m not that same girl anymore. Royce helped me see past that.
And since I’m made of gold, I should start acting like it for once. I was made to shine. If I crawl back to the shadows now, I’ll never make it out again.
Part of me doesn’t care if Royce breaks my heart. I know I’ll regret it if I don’t see him tonight before I’m stuck inside the palace again.
I grab the dress and haul myself out of bed. After I’ve changed and pulled my hair loose from its braid, I stop in front of the mirror on the wall.
An unexpected face greets me. It’s been so long since I’ve seen anything other than the distorted reflection I’d catch in the palace windows or in the fountains. I look older, more like my mother does in her portrait. I run my bare hand over my cheek, then fan my hair out across my shoulders. It shimmers as it catches the light filtering in through the window.
I smile at myself before I make my way up to the deck.
Music drifts through the air, though there’s a distinct lack of accordion music. When I emerge into the twilight, Thipps’s accordion has been placed on a barrel between the other musicians. Phipps stands next to it.
The men cheer when they see me arrive. I smile and wave, but then look away before I notice all the missing crew members.
Phipps is the first to approach. He’s a little tipsy. “I’ve never danced with a princess before,” he says. “I’m thinking I’m never going to get another chance. Will you dance with me?” He bows and offers me his hand.
His eyes are full of hope. When he smiles, I notice one of his front teeth is missing, and I’m pretty sure it was there before the battle the other day. But it’s one of the nicest smiles I’ve ever seen.
I take his hand with a grand flourish, and he pulls me out onto the dance floor. His dancing style is more spinning in circles than anything formal. I find it’s much more fun than anything my tutors ever tried to teach me.
“Thank you for saving me during the fight,” I say.
“I had to.” Phipps hiccups. “I couldn’t let Thipps be the only one to do it, you know? Everyone would only remember his hero . . . heroics.” He hiccups out that last word.
He spins me around, nearly losing his grip on my hand before pulling me back in.
“You should really feel sorry for me,” Phipps says. “Thipps died a hero, and now I’ve got to spend every day trying to top that. I’m not certain he didn’t stab himself just so he could look like the better brother.”
I can’t help but offer him a small smile as we twirl around the cramped area circled in by sailors.
Phipps only steps on my foot once, which throws us off balance, though he doesn’t seem to notice. He just keeps spinning, but I’m not sure how much longer we’ll stay upright.
Then a hand clamps each of us on the shoulder. “Careful there,” Royce says. “We don’t want to have to tell the king his daughter survived the Temptresses of Triton and Captain Skulls only to be done in by your dancing.”
The crew laughs.
Phipps half laughs, half hiccups.
“Aye, Captain.” He spins off on his own, bragging about how he got to dance with a princess and how Thipps couldn’t say that.
I’m left staring at Royce.
“May I?” He offers me his hand as though we’re standing in the palace ballroom.
I swallow. There’s no way to back out now.
I take his hand, and he sweeps me into his arms, leading me into a dance that’s a mixture of formal steps and free spinning. It’s easy to catch on.
His touch is light but reassuring, and he’s careful not to put too much pressure on my injured arm.
I look up into his face, into the eyes I’d always thought held cruelty and deceit but were really hiding pain. They’re kinder now.
I’m hoping that means he’s not mad. “I’m sorry I turned you to gold,” I say softly. I stare squarely at his chest. “I know it’s a terrifying place to be. It was the only way I could think to protect you from Captain Skulls’s blade.”
“It wasn’t pleasant,” he admits. “But I think that the real reason I hated it so much was because it meant I couldn’t get to you. I couldn’t stop Skulls from hurting you.”
He gently sways against me, changing the direction we’re heading.
I forget a step because I’m replaying his words again. He cares more about me than being turned to gold.
“Looks like you’ve been drinking whatever Phipps has been drinking,” he jokes.
He twirls me out and then pulls me back in, catching me in his arms. “That was much better.”
I laugh.
I almost wish I could freeze us in this moment. I don’t want the sun to set. I don’t want the morning to come. I don’t want to say good-bye.
Because just like that, it’s over when Royce says, “I’ve got your father’s gold locked away in a large chest all ready for tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” I force myself to reply. “For everything.”
Around us, the sky has become a mix of pinks and oranges. There are even hints of gold tucked away behind some of the clouds. He notices me watching the sunset and angles us so I can see it better. But I can’t enjoy it. It only reminds me how little time I have left outside the palace, and I hate myself for thinking it. My father needs the gold back. I need to go back.
But I’m going to miss this. I’m going to miss him.
He smiles down at me. “You’ve given me my life back. I feel like you’ve given me the world.”
It’s funny. I could say the same thing about him.
We become lost in the tempo of the music. It’s slower than when I danced with Phipps.
Royce draws me closer to his body, and I look up at him. He’s smiling softly, almost wistfully. I wonder how much he misses court life and dancing. I wonder if he’d ever come back to it. Come back with me.
I lower my gaze to his chest because I can’t ask that of him. Even if I could, the music stops before I can say the words.
We both hesitate a moment before dropping our arms.
“I’d ask for another dance, but I’m pretty sure my crew would mutiny if I kept you to myself all evening.” He bows low, kissing my hand. A tingle runs up my arm.
I curtsy, but the movement is clumsy. I want to make some joke about how at least he didn’t turn to gold that time when he kissed me. But by the time I straighten, he’s already striding across the deck, and I’m being swallowed by a circle of men all eager to dance with a princess. Even one made of gold.
I pick a random arm reaching out to me as the music starts up again and Hettie and Rhat go twirling past.
As I spin away, I see Royce watching me from the edge of the circle. His eyes never leave me.
I try to keep his gaze, but I keep spinning around and around until he becomes a blur.