Chapter 9

Connor

I think I’m in love. For real. I mean come on. What kind of girl says yes to a total stranger and leaves her family in a restaurant to go to another restaurant with a guy she doesn’t even know? I think the moment I knew I was in love was when I saw her sitting down, leaning against my dad’s car. She looked so beautiful in the cold night. Her hair blowing in the wind like she’s some princess. Only wishing that I was her prince charming. But how can I be her prince charming? I can’t even be charming.

As I sit down next to her, she moves close to me and I think, maybe this was fate. Maybe God has finally answered my prayers and brought me my angel. Ava. She’s the angel I’ve been looking for, and I finally have her. But it’s all gonna end since I’m leaving tomorrow for university. Damn it. I finally find her, and now I gotta lose her all because of something I’ve wanted so much, but now I’m wanting something more than some university. I want Ava.

After sitting down for about a good ten minutes with her, she tells me that she’s gotta go back to the restaurant and so the moment ended. I did have to drive her back to the restaurant since her family must be so worried that she could’ve gotten killed and my family might’ve called the police about me. I did text Aiden though and I told him that I was okay, and so that should be covered.

As I’m driving back to the restaurant, I check to see what Ava’s doing, since we had a bit of a moment between us. I want to kiss her so much, but I’m not gonna mess up this day, and so I have to use all my strength to not kiss her. I look at her and just make this moment last. She’s so beautiful, I don’t even know how the hell her stupid boyfriend slapped her. I mean when she was telling me this, I wanted to punch and kill this guy so hard, he can feel the pain that he gave her. On the outside, I must’ve looked calm, but in the inside, I was boiling. Like red hot boiling. I wanted him to pay because of what he had done to her. I wanted him to pay hard. Just thinking about that makes me want to punch something now. Crap.

I just continue driving and making sure I don’t crash. We make it back to the restaurant in one piece, without saying anything. It’s breaking my heart that she doesn’t say anything, since like right now I’m letting her go. I’m not the kind of guy that takes it hard when a girl leaves them because I know there’ll be other fish in the sea, but Ava. Oh, damn Ava is just the kind of fish I need in my sea. Just thinking of her is making me shiver throughout my whole body. She’s real. Not fake. Not those girls who lie about themselves. I’m hoping she feels the same about me, or I think my heart will just shatter.

I park into the same spot my dad was parked earlier. I take out the key and take a deep breath. She does one too. She puts her hand on the door handle, but I am not letting her go now. Not now. I need her. I want her.

“Ava, wait.” I say hoping she doesn’t leave. She takes her hand off the door handle and turns to face me. Her eyes. Oh, God her eyes. Blue as the ocean. Blue like the sky. Her eyes are like diamonds in the light. Her hair, gold like the sun. Her body. Oh, hell her body makes me shiver throughout my whole body just thinking of her and what I would I just do if I could just touch it for a second. I never felt this with Beth, and Ava, she makes me feel alive. This day was the first time in my entire life that I’ve felt so free and alive. I just need here to hear me, and then she can do whatever she wants.

“What, Conner?” She says, tears almost coming down her beautiful blue diamond eyes.

“Ava, today you’ve made me feel alive and free for the first time in pretty much my entire life. And no one, no one has ever made me feel like that in a long time.” I say, hoping I’m saying the right words. I’m hoping my brain is not gonna mess me up, or else, then there’s no reason for her to stay in this car anymore. She about to open her mouth, but I stop her.

“Let me finish. You’ve changed me today. I feel free when I’m around you. And I know this is kind of stupid, for me, a complete stranger to tell you that you’ve basically changed me in one day, but you have, Ava. You are such beautiful, smart girl but you don’t even realize it.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, even though I might not gonna see you ever again, unless if fate brings us together again, I just want you to know that…Um… I like you Ava. I mean I like you a lot. Really, a lot. You’re the only girl that’s ever changed me before like this, and so, I guess I just wanted to tell you how I feel about you before this day is all over.” I said what I wanted to say, and now it’s all Ava’s choice now.

If she says that she doesn’t like me back, I think that will crush my heart. Like, break it into pieces. I’m crossing my fingers behind my back, hoping that she’s gonna say something that will make me happy. Praying she will.

I’m taking deep breaths, waiting for her answer and trying not to pass out. Nothing’s coming out of her, which is making me scared. She turns to me and looks at me in the eyes. I hope she can see how much I like her in my eyes. I’m about to open my mouth to say something but I’m stopped by one thing. Her lips. Her soft, warm lips against mine, pressed hard. I can’t believe I’m kissing Ava, a girl I really don’t know but love, in my dad’s car. This is the best day of my life.

She gets out of her seat and tries to sit on my lap. I help her, which makes her giggle. I laugh but also pull her closer to me and tighter. She’s wearing a dress, which is pulled up a bit and I can see her thighs. Oh, God she's beautiful. I pull her tighter and tighter as I feel her soft lips touching against mine. My hand is on her back and is dying to get under her, but I can’t just yet. I mean this is my dad’s car for God’s sake. What if he opens the car and sees us doing this stuff. I think he would have a panic attack. No wait, my mom would get a panic attack, my dad would just be disappointed in me. But hey, not my fault. Sue me.

She lets go so she can take a breath, and so I move down on her neck. I come close to her neck and kiss it softly. She moans which makes me wanna move more down on her so I can hear more of her moans. If we were in my room, everything would be okay, but no, we’re in my dad’s car. She smells so good, it’s making me dizzy. She smells so Goddamn good, I just wanna bottle her up and use her for perfume. She would make a beautiful perfume. By accident Ava leaned back into the steering wheel, which she hit the horn. She jumps by the sound, which makes me laugh. She slaps me, which I put up my hands in defense.

“Not funny Conner.” She says looking down on me. She fixes her dress, which makes me bite my lower lip. I really want to kiss her again but I feel like she won’t let me since she did hit the horn, ruining the romantic mood a bit.

“So, what happens next?” I say, really wanting to know what will happen next. I mean come on. We just kissed and so what happens with us now? Are we like together? Are we just friends? If we’re just friends, I think that will break my heart in pieces since I told her how much I like her, and besides, friends don’t kiss like this. Friends don’t even kiss at all! She looks at me for a moment, then comes closer and kisses me again. Not hard, but soft. I guess she’s giving me the answer right now.

“Even though I might not even see you, I’ll remember you. Like all the time. I might even dream of you, if that’s ok.” She says in the angelic voice. Oh, hell yes, she can dream about me. She can dream about me if she wants. All I know that I’m gonna dream about her every single night, and now I want to go to sleep early.

“Of course it is okay. Dream about me as long as you want. I know I will. I won’t forget about you Ava. I’ll remember you as the girl who changed me. Completely. I hope you won’t forget about me.” I say which makes her kiss my chin, then my neck. Damn this girl is so sexy in every single way. How the hell do guys not chase after her all the time? I mean when I saw her in the restaurant, I wanted her to be mine the second I laid eyes on her.

“Never.” She says smiling at me. I hug her as tight as I can so she doesn’t leave, but I know she has to. I let her go and help her get up so she can get out of the car. She opens the door, gets out and closes it behind her.

I take a deep breath and try to prepare, to be calm when my parents yell at me and try to check me over to see if I’m not broken or something. I open the door and I see the Ava is waiting for me. I guess she’s mine now, if only for a little bit. I close the door and lock it. I go up to her and bring her closer to me. I guess I should let her go before our parents see, but I’m not letting her go just yet. We make it to the restaurant door, and so that’s when I let go. I will let her go in first so her family and mine don’t find anything suspicious on why we both came in the same time and also on why we weren’t here. We both have different stories to tell our families and so I think we’re good.

“So, I guess this is goodbye then.” She says which makes my heart break. I nod, and then pull her closer for a hug. Damn all of this. I don’t even want to go to university, all I want is her. To be with Ava, is like floating in the air with nothing to worry about.

“I guess it is.” She says holding me tighter and tighter. Then she lets go, which makes my heart shatter into little tiny pieces that only she can put back together. I really want to kiss her again, but I feel like my family is gonna walk on us, and I’m not risking that now. She stares at me for a moment, then gets on her tippy toes and kisses me on the cheek. She then opens the door to the restaurant.

“Bye Conner.” She says walking into the restaurant. I think I wanna die right now. I touch my cheek, on where she kissed and take a deep breath. There is no way I’m gonna wash this cheek. Ever. Not even my lips. I’m not even gonna take a shower. I want to keep myself like this forever until the day I die, so I can still feel her smell, and her kisses. I’m getting mad. Really mad. I mean how come today I fall in love with the perfect girl, and now I get to lose her? What the hell is this? Now just thinking about how I can’t have her, I’m boiling with anger. I’m screaming right now, and almost pulling out my hair. I then turn around and kick the brick wall of the restaurant.

“Damn it!” I say while holding my foot. Damn that hurt. But it feels so freakin good. Really good. I pull out my phone and text Aiden, telling him I’m waiting for everyone outside. He replies then quickly saying that I need to come inside. I swear under my breath then open the door. I put my phone back in my pocket and make my way to the table where my family was sitting. Aiden waves at me, but I’m not paying attention to him. I’m paying attention to Ava. My Ava. She looks at me and puts on a sad smile. F everything, I want her. But somehow fate is not letting me.

“Conner, you okay?” Aiden says, which I turn to look at him and nod that I’m okay. I am okay, but without Ava, I’m not. Is it stupid to fall in love with someone that you hardly know? No, it’s not. Love can be stupid, but on some circumstances, it’s not. It’s just love. I walk to my brother and turn to look at my parents. Okay, they're not happy that I left, but what was I supposed to do? Not go out with a beautiful girl on a nice day?

“Conner, where on earth did you go?” My mom says, which makes me shrug.

“I wasn’t feeling that well, and so I went to go outside to get a breath of fresh air. I didn’t know that the time was passing by, and so I noticed I was late when it got dark. Sorry mom.” I say with that baby voice. Okay I lied, but do I care? Not really. My mom just sighs and nods. She gets it, and thank God she does.

I turn to Aiden and James and they just eye me. They know where I went, and they get it. Who wouldn’t do it? I mouth thank you to them and they nod. I turn back to see where Ava is, and she’s gone. She’s gone, and I think she took my heart with her.

“Damn it.” I say, which makes my dad eye me with a confused face. I just mouth nothing at him, and get up, walking away.

“I’ll be in the car.” I say without turning around. I know I must look like an asshole in front of my family, but if they knew what was happening with me all the time, they would’ve been like this too. I push the door hard, which makes a big slam against the wall. Without a care, I just walk to the car and open the door. I go to the back and sit down making a big thump. I punch the back of the seat and swear. I swear and swear until it’s out of my system. I think this is the time where I’m gonna get so mad, I’m gonna break something. I somehow got tired of punching and kicking the seat, that I pull out my earphones and plug them into my phone. I’m getting lost in the music that I daydream about Ava. I dream about the way she laughs and covers her mouth when does that. I dream how she walks and talks. I dream about her body and her lips. Oh, God, her lips. I mostly dream about that. If I can’t have her in real life, I can have her in my dreams. Always in my dreams. If maybe I get to see her again, I hope it will be someday. Just someday in my lifetime. Even if it's in twenty years or fifty, I’ll still be happy to see her. I will wait for her, and I hope she’ll wait for me.