Key Concepts Key Concepts♦ Great teachers avoid lecturing the entire class about rules and never punish the entire class because of a few students’ misbehavior.
♦ Great teachers know that the best students will feel uncomfortable if a teacher yells or uses cutting remarks, even when directed at a student who is misbehaving.
♦ Effective educators attempt to make people who do the right thing feel comfortable. They reinforce such people and such behaviors.
♦ Effective teachers never place the very best students in the position of being uncomfortable for doing the right thing.
♦ Great teachers treat everyone as if they are good and continually ask themselves who is most comfortable and who is least comfortable with each decision they make.
Discussion Questions1. What is the one internal standard that supports effective practices when making decisions that follow no clearly stated rule?
2. What is the flawed thinking in sending home a note to all parents about a policy being broken by only a handful of those same parents?
3. What happens when people are made to feel uncomfortable? What happens when people feel comfortable?
4. Why is it unwise for teachers to have students “trade and grade” each other’s schoolwork?
5. How should teachers apply the “most comfortable/least comfortable” ground rule when dealing with belligerent parents?
Journal PromptOn page 94, Whitaker refers to a “Pay for Performance” program in use at a university and the varying reactions to the program based on a survey of all participants. The author suggests, instead, that the perspective of the entire faculty should not be the decisive factor. Instead, he advises surveying only the top one-third of the faculty to solicit their level of comfort with the program. Explain why he suggests this and how it relates to the chapter title. Think of a situation at your own school when you have felt uncomfortable with an action that was taken, in your opinion, as a response to poor performance on the part of mediocre teachers. How did this make you feel? What could have been done differently to address the problem?
Group ActivitiesOn page 90 of the text, the author shares a memo sent home to all parents regarding picking up their children on time after school. He also includes an alternative letter that is just as effective as a reminder to the parents who are the problem while reinforcing the good behavior of the majority of the parents. In groups of three to five, have participants brainstorm other issues that result in a letter home to parents (attendance, signing and returning paperwork, tardiness, making up work, discipline, sending children with appropriate materials, etc.). Each group should choose one topic and write two versions of a letter to parents addressing the issue. The first letter should be written following the traditional approach, targeting all parents equally. The second letter should be written in the alternative style, attempting to make the parents who act correctly feel comfortable, while perhaps making the others feel slightly uncomfortable in the hopes they will change the behavior.
On page 93, Whitaker discusses the fact that when a belligerent parent engages a teacher in an argument, it is often the teacher, not the parent, who feels uncomfortable. Divide the study group into five sections and assign one of the following tips for dealing with difficult parents to each group:
1. Approach difficult situations and difficult parents with an attitude of respect and a willingness to listen. Remember that you and the parents have one thing in common: the desire for their children to succeed.
2. Address specific complaints with ideas about what you and the parents can do together to find a solution.
3. Exercise empathy—always take some time to walk in the parents’ shoes and try to gain an understanding of their perspective.
4. Express an attitude that is pleasant, not defensive or negative.
5. Keep tense conversations focused on the student by saying, “I care about your child.” This will not only soften a difficult parent’s attitude, but also prevent the teacher from feeling persecuted.
Each group should examine their assigned tip and report back to the large group their thoughts on the suggestion. Have each group brainstorm situations in which they could employ the technique and role-play a situation in which they practice the suggestion. After each group has presented their assigned tip, ask volunteers to share other effective ways of dealing with difficult parents. Remind participants that great teachers do not fall into the trap of arguing with parents or responding defensively.
ApplicationUpon returning to your school, examine any student handbooks, parent communications, course outlines, syllabi, and codes of conducts you can locate. Apply the Who is most comfortable and who is least comfortable in this situation? standard to each document. Find examples of language that might make your best stakeholders feel uncomfortable while doing little to address those who might truly need to understand the directives and change their behavior. Bring any examples you find to the next study session.