HE WAS BEING very quiet. As if I’d shocked him, which was a strange idea, given he was the one with all the weird blindfold stuff.
My heart was beating faster and, no matter that I didn’t want it there, the nervousness I’d felt earlier gathered tight in the pit of my stomach.
Had I not answered one of his questions correctly? He’d said something about profiles, and I know Maggie had mentioned something about them when she and I had been discussing this, but I’d kind of blocked it out. I didn’t like spending too much time looking at a computer screen because reading made my brain hurt and looking at words on a screen was even worse.
My own stupid fault, of course. I should have asked Maggie more about profiles and stuff, as she knew about my dyslexia, but even though I’d got better about asking people for help I still didn’t like having to. So I’d ignored it. Told myself I’d figure it out when the time came.
But the time was now, and if I didn’t want him to know that I wasn’t authorised to be here, and that I wasn’t a Strangers employee at all, I was going to have to brazen this out.
Luckily, I’d got very good at bullshitting people over the years.
‘Just so you know,’ I said into the silence, hoping to allay his fears about the fact that I hadn’t looked at his profile, ‘I’m down for anything you want, okay? Anything at all, I’m game.’
I really didn’t want him to send me away. I wouldn’t get another situation like this, not so perfectly set up for me and my specific fantasy. Oh, sure, the money I’d get out of this would be good, but it was the fantasy I wanted.
Pleasure at the hands of a faceless stranger whom I could imagine was the man I really wanted.
You couldn’t do that with a normal guy. Normal guys wanted it to be about them, and the ones who didn’t didn’t care about your pleasure, either—at least, according to the various sources I’d asked.
No, it was this—the stranger. The blindfold. The pleasure.
Only this could give me what I wanted, a chance to put Eli behind me once and for all, and I couldn’t let that slip through my fingers—not now.
He was still quiet, but he was watching me. I could feel it, the pressure of his attention like a hand pressing down on the top of my head. The back of my neck prickled.
The darkness behind my blindfold was absolute and I pretended it was Eli standing there. Beautiful, golden Eli watching me with his intense green-gold stare.
I imagined him as he’d been the last time I’d seen him—at the terrible party my mother threw me for my sweet sixteenth, when she was still trying to make me popular.
He was the only thing that had made it bearable, turning the party into something almost fun. Giving me a taste of what it was like to be pretty and popular. A taste of what it felt like to be wanted.
He’d worn jeans and a tee, simple clothes that had fitted his tall, muscular figure so perfectly. He’d looked like a movie star who’d come down from the Hollywood hills to mingle with the common folk, not like what he actually was—the son of our housecleaner.
Not that that had ever made any difference to me.
He’d appeared when I was only five and his mom had come to work for us. He’d instantly made friends with Traj, which was hard to do, because Traj wasn’t an easy guy to be friends with. But Eli had managed. And then he’d made friends with me.
He was the only one who ever noticed me, the only one who ever paid any attention to me and, as I was used to being ignored, I found his attention absolutely intoxicating. He was the older brother I’d wished Traj had been, telling me jokes and making me laugh, helping me with my homework and being patient when I couldn’t do it, because I could never do it. Showing me the best way to climb a tree and how to kick a ball. Once, when I was ten and he was sixteen, I’d shyly showed him some drawings I’d done and he’d been so kind, telling me they looked fantastic and how I should study art.
I’d worshipped him.
And then I’d grown up and that childish hero-worship had turned into something more complicated and more adult. I’d started to notice his broad shoulders and the hard, carved muscles of his chest and stomach. His lean hips and powerful thighs. The masculine beauty of his face—high cheekbones and straight nose, chiselled jaw and sensual mouth. The sparks of gold and green in his hazel eyes. His shaggy, surfer-blond hair...
And then the day of my party, when he’d smiled at me and given me the little star necklace, I’d fallen head over heels in love with him.
He’d been destined for the top, for greatness, so it had come as a huge shock when, not too long after that, he’d been benched for an entire season and lost his chance with the NFL scouts. Then he disappeared, leaving rumours about where he’d gone and why swirling in his wake.
I’d tried to find out what had happened to him, but no one seemed to know. Traj had said not to worry about him, that he was ‘taking some time out.’
When he’d reappeared again, some eighteen months later, I’d tried to get in contact with him. He’d answered the first couple of attempts—an email saying he was okay—but that was it. Then he’d gone dark and wouldn’t answer any of my further timid attempts to reconnect.
It was as if I’d ceased to exist.
I still never took that necklace off. Even when I wished that I could.
Maybe tonight, though, I would.
Except then he said, ‘You need to leave. Pick up your things and go.’
His voice was rough, harsh and very deep, the sound of it scraping over my nerve-endings and sending weird chills through me. It was familiar too, but I couldn’t place it.
Shit, he sounded mad. He’d worked out I wasn’t the real deal, hadn’t he?
‘Seriously?’ I tried to remain calm, though my heart was beating even faster. ‘Why? Did I do something wrong?’
‘Of course you did something wrong. I don’t know how you got in here, or why, but I do know that you don’t work for Company of Strangers.’
Busted.
I gritted my teeth. I had to be careful here, because if I wasn’t and said the wrong thing not only would I be out on my ear, but Maggie would lose her job, and I did not want that to happen.
Playing nice had never been my favourite choice, and being good only got you ignored, but even I could sense that taking a confrontational approach would be a bad move. Brazening it out and lying through my teeth would also be dumb, especially when he could check my credentials with a quick glance at the Strangers website.
No, it would have to be the truth. Maybe if I looked pathetic enough that would endear me to him...
‘So, you got me,’ I said, making a decision before I could think better of it. ‘It’s true. I don’t work for them. But it wasn’t Maggie’s fault, so please don’t report her, okay? It was my idea. She was very sick and couldn’t get a replacement in time and, since I’m a friend of hers, I told her I’d do it for her.’ I tried a smile. ‘I know I’m not her, but I could be if you’d let me.’
There was a very long silence.
I couldn’t hear him, not even his breathing. He didn’t make a single damn sound.
‘You know this isn’t like covering a waitressing shift, right?’ The rawness of his voice was a shock. ‘Or stepping behind the counter in a store. This is about sex. About getting naked and fucking a total stranger. You get that, don’t you?’
I didn’t want to blush, but I couldn’t stop the tide of heat that washed through me, my face burning in embarrassment.
Patronising asshole. Of course I knew those things. I wasn’t stupid, and I loathed being made to feel as if I was, because that was what every damn person in my life, with the exception of Eli Hart, had made me feel.
Stupid and dumb and backward, because I had difficulty reading and found writing hard.
God, this guy wasn’t supposed to be this way. He was supposed to tell me what to do, get me off and that would be it. Who knew he’d be so fussy?
Anger glowed inside me, but I couldn’t really blame him, even though I wanted to. It was anger at myself and my own failings, because if this little plan failed it was on me. I hadn’t done the research I should have and I certainly hadn’t thought things through properly.
I’d just been desperate and had snatched at the opportunity Maggie had presented without considering the consequences. But getting angry about it wouldn’t help me with my little fantasy and, hell, I was here now. Walking out would be stupid. I just needed to convince him to hire me for the night.
‘Yes,’ I said, struggling not to let a sharp edge creep into my tone. ‘Believe it or not, I do get that.’
‘Then you’ll also know that Strangers’ employees are all vetted, as are their clients, for the safety of all parties involved. All parties are also required to sign NDAs, again for the safety of all involved.’ He said everything flatly, as if he was reading from a manual or a rule book. ‘Clients sign an agreement that a meeting can be ended at any time, by either party, though payment is always required whether a meeting is ended early or not. This agreement also extends to a clause stating that any force or coercion, again by either party, will be met with legal action.’
My mouth dried. Oh, shit, was this the contract stuff that Maggie had mentioned, that I hadn’t listened to?
‘You have signed no agreements,’ he went on in that strange, harsh voice. ‘You are bound by no rules. And that means you’re putting both of us at risk. Do you understand?’
The blush in my cheeks burned hotter, as did the anger inside me.
Way to live up to everyone’s expectations. You’re really blowing his mind.
I gripped my hands together tightly in my lap, trying to think this through, because self-recriminations would do me sweet FA.
‘It’s not a problem.’ I tried to sound as confident as he did. ‘I can sign—’
‘No, you can’t. All the agreements drawn up by Company of Strangers have been looked over and approved by lawyers. They are legal and binding, and if you think I’m going to write something down on a shitty piece of hotel notepaper for you to sign then you’re sadly mistaken.’
There was another silence and then he went on, ‘I could be anyone. I could be someone who doesn’t care you’re not affiliated with the company. Someone who might take this opportunity to hurt you and you’d have no back-up to call on.’
Very interested in my safety, wasn’t he?
‘I’d think of something.’ I stared in his direction, suddenly struck by the fact that he hadn’t moved. If he didn’t like this, why hadn’t he simply walked out?
Why are you thinking about him at all? He’s not supposed to matter.
Well, if I didn’t think of him, nothing else would matter, and I didn’t want that to happen.
I opened my mouth to speak, but apparently he hadn’t finished.
‘And what about my safety?’ he went on. ‘You haven’t signed an NDA. You and I could have a pleasant evening and then you could leave and report me to the police. Or go online and put every second of our encounter on the Internet for everyone to see. You might even blackmail me.’
Okay, so I hadn’t thought about it from his point of view, but blackmail?
‘Seriously, dude? Why would I do that?’
‘You’d be surprised at what people do for money.’
‘What?’ I snapped before I could stop myself. ‘Like turn up as a surprise escort to fill in for their friend?’
There was a pause.
‘This is about the money for you?’ he asked.
It wasn’t, or at least not wholly. But that was part of it. I wanted to set up another tattoo parlour in LA, and to do that I needed some capital, of which I didn’t have much. A night with him would help, especially with his apparently very generous tips. He didn’t need to know about the fantasy part.
‘Of course it’s about the money for me. I’m not in the habit of setting myself up to screw complete strangers just for fun.’
Another silence.
Ugh, I’d said too much, hadn’t I? I was letting my anger get the better of me and was alienating him. Maggie would have known how to handle him. Maggie always knew how to handle people.
‘Okay, confession time,’ I said before he could get another word in. ‘Yes, I need the money. Specifically, the tips. I...have a business I want to get off the ground and I can’t do that without some capital.’ I didn’t want to give too much away, such as how much the business meant to me and how desperately I wanted it to work. But I figured a little more truth wouldn’t hurt. ‘So, if you didn’t send me away, if you kind of...just pretended I was a Strangers employee, I’d appreciate that.’
‘Pretended?’ Disdain dripped from each syllable.
I couldn’t blame him. It was a lame suggestion, but it was the only one I had, so I ignored him. ‘Maggie really couldn’t get anyone to fill in and she didn’t want to leave you in the lurch. I’m her friend and I offered to do it for her. She didn’t want me to, but I talked her into it. So, if you’re going to blame anyone, blame me.’ I took a little breath. ‘And please don’t call the company. They’ll fire her.’
I didn’t want that. Maggie was a good friend and this wasn’t her fault. I’d been the one to talk her into it, to convince her that I wouldn’t get caught. I just hadn’t realised this asshole would be so quick on the uptake.
You’re going to have to fix this.
My muscles had gone very tight, tension coiling through me. I had no idea how I was going to fix it but, yes, I would. I couldn’t let my friend get fired because of me.
‘Not my problem,’ he said.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
‘I’ll do whatever you want,’ I rushed on. ‘Anything. Everything. I have no hard limits. And hey, I’m wearing a blindfold, so I don’t even know who you are, which makes blackmail a little difficult. Ditto the police. I just want some good tips for my business and I’m prepared to work really hard for them.’
He said nothing.
Clearly it was my turn to demand answers.
‘Well?’ I asked. ‘Does that change your mind?’
‘No.’
That voice. It was sexy.
I stared at the blackness in front of my eyes, trying to sense him through it. ‘Then why are you still here?’