“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day—unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour.”
Whenever I’m running on spin cycle and life becomes a muddled mess, the greatest antidote is…quiet time.
I’m the first to admit that this is where being deaf becomes an advantage. Whenever I seek out quiet time, I shut off my hearing aids and presto: silence.
In this busy world, sometimes it feels counterproductive to stop everything and meditate, but that quiet time is the catalyst for your passions and for forward movement in your life. In fact, it is that very busyness that blocks out the intuitive guidance within you. By deliberately carving out time to sit in meditative silence, you’ll find a wealth of information and answers instead. My daughter and I recently experienced a ninety-minute silent meditation with a group of women. There’s something powerful about being in a room meditating with others. (For one thing, you can’t leave!) I brought along a notebook, and to my surprise, I ended up jotting down answers to questions that had been lingering in my mind for a while.
For me, nature restores my soul. I love to meditate when I’m surrounded by beautiful landscapes. If I’m unable to have quiet time in a beautiful place, I use images on my phone or computer to put myself in a wonderful state of mind before I become still.
When you spend time deep in worry, you trade your today for an unpromised tomorrow. Worry robs you of enjoying the very moment you have now. Worry is wasted energy. Worrying about tomorrow or reflecting obsessively about the past robs you of living today to the fullest.
Your attitude and your energy are like a magnet. What you put out is what comes drawn back to you. While an occasional “woe is me” moment can draw support, a continuous feed of pity can scatter people away.
My mother is the biggest worrier I know, yet ironically, she and my father taught me one of the best lessons about worry.
I purchased a Jet Ski one summer. Then one fall weekend, I planned to winterize the watercraft.
The problem was, I had no clue what to do. When I read the instruction manual, it might as well have been written in Greek. As the weekend wore on, the stress was beginning to affect me physically. My neck was aching and my jaw was tense. I decided to drive to the local marine shop and get some advice. My mom came along for the ride.
We talked about a bunch of things, and ironically, the topic of stress came up.
“Remember that piece of advice you gave me a long time ago? You told me that you used to worry and be stressed out, and then you realized you were wasting a lot of time worrying.”
My mom nodded. “Yes, everything always has a way of working out; it just always does, so why get all worked up about it?” she said. “I look back at all the years that I was stressed out about something or other—I didn’t have to worry so much.”
So throughout the years, I’ve tried to remember Mom’s words when I find myself deep in worry. I have to ask myself these questions:
• What is the solution?
• What is the worst possible thing that could happen?
• What can I change right now to ease the way I feel?
When I arrived back home, my dad helped me winterize the Jet Ski using the instructions I had received from the marine mechanic.
“I just hope I did this right,” I told my dad as we wheeled it into the storage shed.
“Well, no use worrying about it,” he said. “We’ll find out in the spring.”
(The Jet Ski started up perfectly every year!)
So, what’s the antidote to worry?
Meditation.
Now, before you roll your eyes at this practice, hear me out.
In our go-go-go culture, the practice of being quiet and still often seems out of place. Yet, in the quiet stillness, that’s where you find answers to your most pressing life questions. Meditation isn’t about eliminating your thoughts; in fact, you may find yourself having so many creative thoughts that it’s difficult to put them out of your mind. The more you practice meditation, the more you “lean in” to your thoughts, your feelings, your awareness, your breath, and your presence.
Every now and then, I kick off my shoes and walk barefoot on a path or through the grass. I also take the time out to watch the sunset. Even though I live in a suburb of Chicago, I always manage to find places where I can restore my energy through nature. Outside, in the fresh air, you’ll find negative ions (which are a positive thing!), especially around moving water or in the mountains. In fact, Howard Partridge credits the beach for being the best place for discovering new, passionate ideas.
Stop reading this book for a moment. Just be. As I write these words, I’ve paused to look around me. I’m on an airplane, staring at the seat in front of me. I look out the window, thankful that I can see the fluffy, white clouds that look like frosting on a cake. I can feel the warmth of the sun streaming through the glass in sharp contrast to the cold that is swirling around me. I’m filled with gratitude. I’m alive. I’m breathing. I’m about to embark on another adventure.
Five years ago, I didn’t practice awareness on this level. I was rushing through life meeting sales numbers and juggling too many tasks at once. I actually probably have even more on my plate today, but because I take the time to reflect, ponder, and meditate, I am so much more appreciative instead.
“When you’re deep in your passion, you’re fully present in that moment,” Debbie Leoni told me. Debbie is the owner of Fearless Living, and she hosts retreats to challenge people to face the very things that are holding them back in fear.
“As children,” Debbie explains, “we already know how to experience passion, happiness, and joy. We’ve been conditioned as adults to forget that—we don’t give ourselves permission to feel. Passion doesn’t arrive at the door for us—we have to reveal the passion that’s already within us.”
Fear is a big factor that robs us from being fully in the present. We have to determine what fear is costing us—what is the price we are paying to remain wrapped in fear instead of moving forward?
Action is the answer, Debbie told me. “Moving away from fear requires taking action in place of fear—and being willing to take a risk.”
It’s essential to allow for quiet time during your day to restore and recharge. Meditation brings ideas and answers to any questions you may have. Bring a spiral notebook or blank journal with you to jot down ideas, thoughts, or revelations that occur during your meditative practice. It is the silence between notes that make music, and it is the silence between thoughts that brings about the most tranquil, meditative state.