Saint
The look on Sofia’s face when she left the diner had gutted me. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry her, or have her in my home. It was that both of those were entirely too tempting. If I didn’t have Delia, then I wouldn’t have hesitated. But the fact was that I was a father first, a Dixie Reaper second, and anything else had to take third place in my life. It wasn’t fair to Sofia to not give her all of myself, and I knew I couldn’t do that. If anyone deserved a happy-ever-after, it was her. I hoped she’d get her fairy-tale ending someday. I just knew I couldn’t be the one to give it to her. I hated that Torch and Wire had pulled that shit, showing her a marriage license with our names on it. It was cruel. I’d never once argued with Torch over anything, but for the first time, I’d wanted to rip into him.
I’d held my tongue. Barely.
I dropped Torch off at his home, and he pulled Delia from her booster seat. Lyssa had asked if my daughter could go to the playground with them, and I’d thought it would be the perfect opportunity for me to speak with Sofia. Lay everything out, without worrying about being interrupted.
I pulled into the driveway, parked under the carport, then shut off the vehicle and blew out a breath. Looking at the house, I felt my stomach knot. I wasn’t looking forward to going in there, knowing that Sofia could very well be crying. I hated that I’d made her upset enough she’d wanted to leave the diner, and with Wire of all people. He was single, the ladies loved him, and I knew he’d be good to her. I hated the fucker right then.
Sitting in the car wouldn’t accomplish anything, so I made myself go inside. I didn’t hear a single sound and frowned as I went room by room. I found Sofia in my room, gathering the dirty laundry into a hamper that she was dragging behind her. The damn thing was almost as tall as her. Well, maybe not quite, but it did go up past her waist. She looked like a little pixie standing next to it.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
She shrieked and knocked the hamper over. “You scared me!”
“Sorry, but seriously. What are you doing?”
She waved a hand. “What’s it look like?”
“Gathering my dirty clothes?”
She nodded. “Good. Because that’s exactly what I’m doing. Might as well keep busy, so I thought I’d do some laundry. The housekeeper back home made sure we all knew how to use a washer and dryer, and I learned to cook some basic things. I’m not very good, though. I tend to burn most everything. Even using a toaster.”
“Sofia, you aren’t my maid. You don’t have to do this.”
“Not your maid. Not your whore. Not your wife. I’m not anything, Saint. Just let me do this so I can at least feel like I’m contributing in some way.”
“What the fuck?” I demanded. “Seriously?”
“Am I wrong?” Sofia asked.
“Of course you aren’t my maid or a whore. It wouldn’t be fair for me to marry you, Sofia. I can’t give you a fairy tale, and that’s what you deserve. I didn’t refuse just because of Delia, although her safety is a huge part of it.”
Her gaze softened a little and she gave a slight nod before she turned to pick up more clothes. I watched her, my hands clenching and unclenching at my sides. I wanted to reach for her, kiss her, promise her that everything would be fine. Somehow, I managed to hold myself back. Kissing her would lead to other things. The brief brush of my lips against hers at the diner had been enough to make me hard as a damn rock.
I couldn’t deny that I wanted her. If I were honest with myself, I was more intrigued by Sofia than the woman who had given birth to my daughter. Rhianon had been sweet, and we’d had fun, but I’d never wanted forever with her. I’d have given it to her if I’d known we had a kid together, but she’d kept that from me. If Rocket hadn’t called me after her death, I’d have never known about Delia.
I should walk away, give Sofia her space. But we were alone, and… I didn’t think I was strong enough to resist her for long. If she told me no, pushed me away, then I’d leave. If she didn’t, though… that’s the part that had me rooted to the floor, wondering if I should pull her into my arms and kiss her the way I wanted. She’d wanted me, wanted more until Delia had interrupted us. At the time, I’d be grateful, but now I was wishing that we’d had more time. I was so fucking conflicted. I wanted Sofia, wanted to keep her, but I knew that wasn’t what was best for her or for Delia. Was it?
“You’re staring,” she said, not even turning around.
“I’m watching a beautiful woman. Kind of hard to look away.”
She dropped the shirt in her hand on top of the pile in the hamper, then faced me. There was a cautious sort of hope on her face, but she shuttered her gaze and tightened her jaw. “You were right. We can’t be together,” she said. “It’s best if we keep our distance.”
Right. She was right, and I knew it, but… I moved closer and reached out, wrapping a loose curl around my finger. Her hair was soft, just like the rest of her. I was going to hell. I knew it, but I leaned closer anyway, not stopping until my lips brushed against hers. Sofia gasped and stiffened a moment before melting against me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, my mouth devouring hers. My cock pressed against the zipper of my jeans and I rubbed against her.
Sofia made the softest, cutest sounds as I explored her curves and tasted her sweet lips. Her hands slipped under my shirt and pressed against my bare skin. I shuddered, my cock starting to throb. Jesus. I’d never wanted anyone as much as I wanted her, and it scared the fuck out of me. Sofia was the last woman I should crave, and yet I couldn’t deny that I wanted her as badly as a junkie wanted their next hit.
“Tell me to stop,” I murmured against her lips. “Yell at me and tell me this is a bad idea.”
“It’s a bad idea,” she said, then kissed me again.
“We shouldn’t do this,” I said, drawing back to catch my breath.
“No, we shouldn’t,” she said, and tugged on my cut until I pulled it off and set it on the dresser, then yanked my shirt over my head.
“Christ, Sofia. I don’t know that I can walk away.”
“Then don’t. Maybe we can have just this one moment.”
One moment. I could do that. She started to shimmy out of her clothes, and I kicked off my boots before reaching for my belt. She was already naked before I’d even gotten my jeans all the way off. I hadn’t felt this damn eager since my first time.
Sofia reached for me, and we fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs. She smiled so brightly that my breath caught for a moment. I reached up and smoothed her hair back from her face, then kissed her softly and slowly. As eager as I was to be inside her, I also wanted to savor the moment. If this was our one and only chance to explore one another, then I wanted to take advantage.
I licked and kissed every inch of her body, loving the way her nipples hardened as I blew across them. She squirmed beneath me and clutched at my shoulders as I worked my way down, parting her thighs to settle between them.
“Saint.” She threaded her fingers through my hair and tugged. “I don’t want to wait.”
“Patience.” I grinned up at her. “I’m not in a rush.”
“Maybe I am.”
I leaned down and traced her slit with my tongue, making her gasp, and she clenched her thighs against me. I parted her pussy lips and thrust my tongue inside her tight channel before teasing her clit. Sofia was so damn responsive, I just wanted more and more of her. I sucked on the little bud and eased two fingers inside her, thrusting slowly. As much as I wanted to make her come, I knew we had some time to play, and I wanted this moment to be memorable for both of us. Not that I thought I’d ever forget a single moment spent with her.
Sofia lifted her hips, pressing closer. I could hear her panting as I worked her pussy with my lips, tongue, and fingers, pushing her closer to an orgasm. I wouldn’t take her until she’d come, worrying that I wouldn’t last long once I was inside her. It had been too fucking long, and she was too damn tempting.
“Saint, please,” she begged.
I growled softly and doubled my efforts, loving the sounds of her screams as she came apart. I made her come a second time before I kissed my way back up her body, my weight settling over her. She looked dazed, but her eyes were shining brightly, and her cheeks were flushed. Gorgeous. That’s what she was, absolutely gorgeous.
My gaze stayed locked on hers as I sank into her, the wet heat of her pussy clasping me tight. I groaned and fought not to close my eyes. Sofia felt incredible, better than anything I’d felt before. Now that she was ready for me, willing, even eager, everything felt a million times better. She was perfection.
Her legs went around my hips, and she gripped my biceps, her nails biting into me. The trust in her eyes, the total surrender as she gave herself to me, made the walls around my heart crack even more. If things were different…
I kissed her, long and deep, as I started a steady thrust that soon had my skin humming and my balls drawing up. I couldn’t remember ever taking a woman bare before, not even Delia’s mom. But Sofia wasn’t just any woman. Sweat slicked our skin as I took her harder and faster. It had been long before Rhianon since I hadn’t felt the need to tie up a woman before fucking her. Even though Sofia had begged me earlier, it didn’t feel right. Not in this moment. Next time…
My chest ached when I realized there wouldn’t be a next time. This was it. Our one moment.
“I’m losing you,” she said.
Damn. I knew she hadn’t meant it like that, but the words definitely had a double meaning right now. I focused on Sofia, on the here and now, and blocked out all thoughts of what tomorrow, or even later today would bring. I cupped her breast and pinched her nipple, rolling it between my fingers. Her pussy clenched down on my cock, and I could feel how close she was to coming. On the next stroke, I ground against her clit and tugged on her nipple. Sofia came, her body going tight, and her pussy milking me dry.
I grunted with every thrust as I filled her up, jet after jet of cum shooting into her. Damn. My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath. Sofia reached up and cupped my cheek, a look of complete devotion on her face, a look that gutted me since I knew nothing could come of it.
“Maybe we can have one more moment,” she murmured.
“One more,” I agreed.
She crossed her wrists in front of me, looking up at me expectantly.
“You want me to tie you up?” I asked.
“It’s what you like, right? You don’t have to hold back with me, Saint. I can take whatever you want to give me. I want you, all of you, whatever that entails.”
I swallowed hard and nodded before withdrawing from her body. I got up and walked over to the closet and pulled down a box off the top shelf. They were things I’d purchased years ago, before finding out about Delia. The container was airtight, so no dust had gathered on the items. A pair of padded cuffs were at the bottom and I pulled them out, then carried the box over toward the bed, setting it down on the nightstand.
“Turn over. On your knees, ass in the air,” I said. “Put your hands up by the headboard.”
She quickly got into position, and held her hands by the spindles that ran along my headboard, just as I’d demanded. I fastened the cuffs, making sure they weren’t too tight, and yet snug enough she couldn’t escape. If she got distressed or wanted me to stop at any time, I’d release her immediately. I still worried that it would be too much for her.
“What else is in the box?” she asked.
“Some things I bought and never used,” I said vaguely, not sure I wanted to use any of those things on her.
“Like what?”
Christ. It figured she’d push the issue. I reached into the box and pulled out a package with a small, pink vibrator. It was shaped like a cock, but only five inches long. Well, maybe not small, unless it was compared to my dick. I showed it to her, and fuck me if her eyes didn’t light up with interest.
“Do you have batteries?” she asked.
“Yeah. Sofia, I don’t know that…”
She arched an eyebrow as she stared at me over her shoulder. “I want the full experience, Saint. Don’t treat me like I’m made of glass. It’s just you and me in this room. I’m a woman who needs to be fucked by the greatest guy she’s ever met.”
I nodded and reached into the bedside table drawer. I always kept a variety of battery sizes in there. Hadn’t realized I’d be using them for this particular purpose, not with a kid in the house. I’d figured those days were long gone, unless I decided to settle down. I ripped open the package, and the vibrator fell out onto the bed. I grabbed the bottle of lube and the AA batteries, inserted them, and hit the power button. The toy whirred to life, and I was honestly a bit surprised the damn thing worked after sitting in the closet for so long.
“Spread your legs, Sofia. Wide.”
She shifted and did as I’d commanded. I ran my hand down her back.
“Good girl.”
Setting the toy on a low speed, I rubbed small circles against her clit. She moaned and lowered her head, lifting her hips more and giving me better access. I caressed the cheeks of her ass as I slid the toy higher up and plunged it inside her pussy. I fucked her with it a few times before teasing her clit some more.
“You’re going to come like this,” I said. “Then I’m going to fuck you good and hard.”
“Please,” she whimpered.
I turned up the speed and she cried out, her body going tight. As she started to come, I backed off. Using our mingled release to coat the toy, I pressed it against the tight ring of muscle between her ass cheeks, just lightly circling. She gasped and twisted, her legs trembling.
“Hmm. It seems you like that, maybe a little too much.”
“Saint. I… I need…”
“You need what?” I asked.
“Please. I need to come.”
I put the toy against her clit again, turned it all the way up, and she was screaming her release within seconds. I kept it pressed against the hard little bud, making her come multiple times. Sofia was crying and begging, nonsensical words coming out of her mouth as she rode wave after wave of pleasure. When my cock was leaking all over the damn bed, I knew I couldn’t wait another moment.
I thrust deep and hard, fucking her through another orgasm. Her body twitched and her pussy grabbed me tight. I removed the toy from her clit. Grabbing the lube, I squirted a liberal amount down the crack of her ass, then pressed the toy against that forbidden spot again. Sofia cried out and bucked, my cock sliding in deeper. I grunted and helped reposition her. With her ass higher and her shoulders flat on the bed, I was able to slam all nine inches into her until the head of my dick kissed her cervix.
I slowly worked the toy into her ass, fucking her with it as I pounded her pussy. Fuck but she felt incredible! I growled as I came, but even then my dick didn’t deflate. I kept thrusting and fucking her with the toy. Sofia grew hoarse as she came twice more. I felt possessed, taking her like some crazed beast, but I couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop. I’d never come so much so close together in my life, but I came again. My cock twitched and throbbed as I emptied myself into her tight pussy.
“Fuck!” I panted for breath, my legs shaking from the force of my release. I ran my hand down her back. “You okay, baby?”
She whimpered and I eased out of her, then slowly removed the toy. I shut it off and unfastened the cuffs. Sofia collapsed onto the bed and I lay beside her, pulling her into my arms. Her body shuddered and she sucked in a big breath before she turned to face me.
“I never knew it could be like that,” she said.
“Me either,” I admitted.
“I find it hard to believe you’ve never done that before, since they were your toys.”
“No, I mean… it was different with you. I’ve never lost control like that, or come so damn much. I didn’t hurt you?”
“I’m good.” She smiled softly. “More than good.”
Then the smile slipped from her face, and I knew what she was thinking. This was our one and only. There wouldn’t be more moments like this one. No more fucking between us. My dick wanted to protest, and so did my damn heart. Figured the one woman to come along and completely captivate me was the last one I should want.
“Rest, sweetheart. We’ll shower before Delia comes home.”
She ran her fingers down my chest, a wistful look on her face. “It’s not fair.”
“What’s not?”
“I never knew men like you existed. I finally find one, and I can’t keep him.”
I closed my eyes, my heart breaking a little at her words. If I were a selfish bastard, then I’d say to hell with it and make her mine in every way possible, but I couldn’t do that. The day Rocket had placed an infant in my hands, my life had changed. I could no longer do things because they were what I wanted. I had to put Delia first, and think of what was best for Sofia, even if it meant forgoing my own happiness. We were in a shitty situation, and I didn’t see a way out. Not as long as her father and his men were breathing. I hoped Casper worked fucking fast on whatever he’d planned. If there came a time that Gomez wasn’t a threat, then things would be different. If Sofia was still speaking to me by then… I wouldn’t hold it against her if she didn’t want anything to do with me as time passed.
“I think I could love you,” she whispered.
“Me too, baby. I could easily love you. Maybe we’ll get our chance.”
“He’ll never let me go,” she said. “Without us, he’ll lose out on business. It’s common knowledge that anyone who deals with my father gets…”
I placed my fingers over her lips, not wanting to hear another word. The thought of anyone touching her without her permission made rage fill me, especially now. Now that I felt like she was mine.
She pulled away and got out of bed, padding into the bathroom. I stared up at the ceiling a moment before following her. I knew it would be best to keep my distance, to start building the wall again, locking my heart away. And yet I couldn’t. I wanted as much time with Sofia as I could get. I’d squeeze as much enjoyment out of however many minutes or hours we had left as I could, and hope that it was enough until I could figure things out, find a way for us to be together without putting my daughter at risk. I wanted us to be a family, for Sofia to be a permanent part of our lives. It was dicey enough, just having Sofia in the house with us if her father wanted her back, but if I married her, then it would put a bigger target on us.
“There has to be a way. I don’t know what it is yet, but whatever this is between us can’t be doomed from the start.” I stepped into the shower, pulling her against my chest. “My club, the Hades Abyss, or Casper VanHorne, will take care of your father, and then we can be together. Give me time, Sofia.”
She cuddled against me, but she didn’t confirm or deny that she would be with me when all this was over. I understood her hesitation, but I hoped it was unfounded. I prayed for the first time since I was kid, hoping that we would get a miracle. I hadn’t had one in so long that I’d stopped believing in them, but I needed one now. We all did.