Saint
Three Weeks Later
I’d thought it was strange when my VP came to get Sofia’s things from my house a few weeks ago. It didn’t seem like the sort of thing he’d handle himself. I hadn’t questioned it, and just packed up her shit and handed it over. But now that I was staring at the home where she’d been taken, or so I’d thought, I was left even more confused. It was clearly vacant now that Spider had come for Luciana and the Hades Abyss crew was back in Missouri. So where the fuck was Sofia? Had she decided to go with them? No one had said a damn word about it to me. They’d been gone nearly two weeks now, and I’d thought Sofia would have come home. I waited, giving her time. Now I was wishing I hadn’t.
I’d asked Darian and Bull to watch Delia for me, but I hadn’t explained why. Just said I had an errand to run. If Delia had heard I was looking for Sofia, she’d have begged to come with me. I loved that Delia wanted Sofia in our home as much as I did, but I needed a moment alone with her first. Needed to convince her to come home, where she belonged.
“Problem?” Flicker asked.
I turned to face him. “Where the fuck did you come from?”
He pointed in the direction of the clubhouse. “I was walking home. Had to leave the bike at the house earlier because Pepper insisted it needed to be washed.”
I wasn’t even going to mention how that woman had pussy whipped Flicker in no time. Honestly, he didn’t seem to mind. Anyone could see he adored her, and considering how long he’d waited to find the right woman, I couldn’t blame him. Besides, now wasn’t the time to give him shit over the fact he fell in love with a woman who loved bikes as much if not more than he did. No surprise her nesting during pregnancy included washing the damn motorcycles.
“Sofia was supposed to be here.”
“They all cleared out,” Flicker said.
No fucking shit. The big empty ass house had been my first damn clue. “So I see, but where’s Sofia? Why didn’t she come back once it was safe?” I asked.
“Are you really that fucking stupid? You pushed her away, told her that her presence put Delia in jeopardy. You think she’d come running back to you when her life wasn’t in danger anymore? Maybe she wised up and found someone man enough to claim her. You think I backed down when Pepper had the fucking mob after her? Hell no. Did Tank run when Emmie was up on that auction site? Nope. But you? Saint, I’m starting to think you don’t have balls anymore. Should I go buy you a dress?”
What. The. Fuck.
“Is that what everyone thinks? That I’m a dickless guy who won’t go after what he wants?”
Flicker shrugged. “Well, you haven’t exactly proven otherwise. We all adore Delia, you know that, and while it’s important to keep her safe, you have to make a life for both of you and not just her. But what happens when she grows up and starts her own family?”
I ground my teeth together. Not only because he was right about me playing it too damn safe, but I also didn’t like the idea of my little girl growing up and meeting some asshole who would take her away from me. Dickhead better treat her right or I’d bury him.
But first, I needed to find my woman and bring her home. Never should have made her leave. I’d been a complete shit. No, whatever was worse than that, that’s what I’d been. I’d had my reasons, and it wasn’t just to protect Delia, but I needed to explain that to her. I hoped she could forgive me, give me a second chance. My life had been shit without her. I couldn’t sleep, and every time I closed my eyes, I could see her face as she’d come, begging me for more. “Who claimed Sofia? Where is she?”
Flicker rubbed a hand down his beard. I could tell from the look in his eyes that the fucker wasn’t going to tell me a damn thing. My hands clenched at my sides and I fought the urge to put my fist through his jaw. Punching an officer of the club wasn’t my brightest idea, no matter how tempting.
“Here’s the thing. Pepper is rather fond of Sofia. So are the other wives. If I tell you where Sofia is, then my sweet Pepper is going to make my life hell. With her due any day now, I’m not going to piss her off. Sorry, kid. You’re on your own.”
Great. I stared at the house again. The only clue I had right now was that she was somewhere inside the compound. There was no way she’d gotten close to the Reaper ladies if she’d left. During her stay at my home, she’d seldom left or spoken to anyone, and her sisters had barely been here a week. Short of going door to door, and pissing off all my brothers, I wasn’t sure where to go from here.
I heard Flicker walk off, and I turned to face the road that wound through the compound. I hesitated. Instead of going home, I got on my bike and drove to Torch’s house. If anyone here would tell me how I could find Sofia, it would be Isabella. We’d gotten close over the years. If I had to pick a best friend among the Dixie Reapers and their old ladies, it would be her. I’d do anything for Isabella, and she knew it. I only hoped she felt the same in return.
Coming to a stop in the driveway, I put down the kickstand and killed the engine. I swung my leg over the seat, but before I could approach the door, it flew open and Lyssa barreled down the steps, launching herself at me. I laughed as I caught her, spinning her in a circle before setting her down. “How’s my girl?” I asked.
“You haven’t been over in forever,” she complained.
“I’m sorry, Lyssa. I’ll do better. You’ve gotten a chance to play with Delia, though, and I know how much you love that.”
She nodded. “Momma’s inside making cookies.”
“Um.” I glanced back at my bike.
“Saint, don’t you dare ride off,” Isabella yelled from inside the house. “Get in here!”
I sighed and followed Lyssa into the house. The smell of burning cookies filled the air. I loved Isabella like a sister, but damn. The woman hadn’t been able to make a decent cookie since she’d gotten pregnant with Hadrian. It was like her baking skills just vanished overnight. I almost felt sorry for Torch.
“You were going to leave without coming to say hi,” Isabella accused as I pulled out a kitchen chair and sat.
“Maybe.”
“I told him you were making cookies,” Lyssa said.
Isabella groaned and rolled her eyes. “I swear. I’ve heard of baby brain before, but this is ridiculous. Even if I set the damn timer, I still burn them. Every. Single. Time.”
“Where is Hadrian anyway?” I asked, looking around. Usually she’d have him nearby, but I didn’t even see the baby monitor.
“Torch has him.” She tossed the burnt cookies in the trash and set the baking sheet aside. “He’s been fussy all night and all morning. I was reaching my breaking point, so I handed him to his daddy and pointed to the door.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Isabella’s kids were adorable, but I could see where she’d want a break. I only had Delia and there had been plenty of times I wanted to pull out my hair. With three, I think I’d have been committed by now. Thankfully, she had Torch to help her out, and I knew the other old ladies took turns with the kids too.
“Since I know you didn’t stop by for my stellar baking skills, why are you here?” she asked.
“I need some help.”
She crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow, something she’d picked up from Torch and perfected over the years. Not that she looked the least bit intimidating with her tiny stature. Even with the baby weight, I could probably still lift her with one arm.
“With what?” she asked.
“I need to find Sofia.”
She shook her head. “Nope. Not happening.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because she’s suffered enough, Saint. Do you have any idea what you did to her? She was completely shattered when you sent her away. You might as well have ripped her heart right out of her chest and stomped it into the ground. I don’t know what the hell has been going on, but I can’t let you anywhere near Sofia. Especially not now.”
Not now. Right. Because she was shacked up with someone else, someone who apparently wasn’t as stupid as I was and had decided to hold onto her. I was a fucking moron, and I could admit it, but I wouldn’t give up. Sofia was mine and she belonged in my home, in my bed, and riding my cock. I shifted in my seat and tried to think of anything other than Sofia, naked and spread across my bed. Damn. My hand hadn’t been enough, not after being inside her -- bare. It broke my heart that we’d never have kids together, not the conventional way. We could always adopt, if she were willing. Even when she’d thought I was ignoring her, I’d watched as she played with Delia, and she was a natural at being a mom.
“I fucked up,” I said. “I’m sorry, but I need to tell Sofia that and not you. I can’t apologize if I don’t know where she is.”
“She’s safe and she’s being cared for. I think that’s all you need to know.”
“Damn it, Isabella! Now isn’t the time to be stubborn.”
“Did you just cuss at my woman?” asked a gravelly voice from behind me. I winced and turned to face Torch.
“You know I adore Isabella, and your kids, but I really need her help and she’s refusing.”
Torch stared at his wife, and I saw her shake her head from the corner of my eye. Torch sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Hadrian lay in the crook of his other arm.
“The boy deserves to decide for himself,” Torch told her. “I’m not sure we’re actually protecting her. What if we’re just making things worse?”
Worse? Protecting her? What the fuck was going on?
“Fine.” Isabella huffed, and I knew she didn’t really agree with him. “She’s at Wire’s place.”
Wire? I shot out of the chair and ran from the house. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Wire with Sofia, but… yeah, I didn’t trust the fucker. All the ladies loved Wire. They thought he was harmless since he spent so much time behind a computer screen, but he was probably one of the scariest motherfuckers in the club. With a few keystrokes, he could wipe out your entire existence. Well, maybe more than a few, but he could make it happen just the same and never have to leave the comfort of his home.
I revved the engine on my bike, and my tires spit gravel as I took off down the road. When I reached Wire’s house, he was on the front porch, hands in his pockets, and looking in my direction. Had he been waiting for me? I wouldn’t put it past Isabella or Torch to have called him. I only hoped I wouldn’t have to hit the fucker just to get to Sofia. If she cared for him even a little, that wouldn’t win me any points.
“Need to have a word before you go in there,” Wire said.
“You claiming her?” I asked.
He snorted. “No. She’s a sweetheart and I’d do just about anything for her. But not that. She’s not my type.”
“Then what do you want to tell me?”
He rubbed the back of his neck, looked over his shoulder, then lowered his voice. “She’s had a hard time of it. Not just you kicking her out, but she misses her sisters, and… she hasn’t been well. She’s losing too much weight. Doc Myron is worried about her.”
My stomach dropped. “She’s sick?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then what the fuck?”
He nodded toward the door. “Go on in. She’s probably in her room. First bedroom on the right. Try not to startle her. Doc Myron said to keep her calm.”
My heart was racing as I entered the house and slowly made my way to the back. The first bedroom door wasn’t completely closed and I tried to peek inside without opening the door. I could see Sofia on the bed, curled up with her back toward me. The way her body jerked, I realized she was crying, and I felt like shit. Were the tears because of me? Or was it due to whatever illness she had? No, not illness. Wire had said she wasn’t exactly sick, but something was obviously going on.
I pressed the door open and went inside. “Sofia.”
She tensed and I heard her suck in a breath.
“I’m so damn sorry, Sofia. I should have never made you leave.”
She didn’t turn to face me, didn’t even acknowledge my presence. It hurt, but I deserved it. No, I deserved worse. I hadn’t meant to make her feel like I didn’t want her. I’d pushed her away not just for Delia’s sake but for her own as well. If her father’s men had managed to get inside the compound, made it inside my house, I would have been split trying to keep them both safe, and I could have failed one or both of them. And if her father had used kids against her before, he could have done the same with Delia, forcing Sofia to go with him to spare my daughter. I couldn’t let that happen, not when they both meant so much to me.
“I fucked up, Sofia. I never meant for you to feel that you weren’t wanted. I didn’t have a choice but to push you away.”
“For Delia,” she said softly. “I understood.”
“No, not just for Delia. I did it for both of you.”
She turned to face me, her eyes red and swollen from crying. It felt like someone had punched me in the gut. I didn’t like seeing her so upset, and then I remembered Wire’s words. Calm. I needed to make her calm down. I didn’t understand why, but if the doctor had said she didn’t need to be stressed, then I needed to find a way to fix this fast. I motioned toward her. “May I come closer?”
She didn’t say yes, but she didn’t say no either. I crept a little farther into the room and kept going until I was able to sit on the bed, I stretched out my legs and reached for her, tugging her against my side. Sofia clung to me, her hand fisting my shirt. For a moment, I thought maybe everything would be fine. Had she missed me as much as I’d missed her?
“I never meant to hurt you, sweetheart,” I murmured as I stroked her hair. “I’m so fucking sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing, for both you and Delia.”
She held onto me tightly, then pushed away, putting space between us. Sofia looked over at the door, a look of resignation crossing her face and a spark of anger lighting up her eyes. “You should go,” she said.
Go? But… “You want me to leave?”
“Yes. It’s for the best.”
I stared at her, willing her to look at me again. I knew I’d fucked up, but I hadn’t expected this reaction from her. I’d hoped she’d understand, that she’d forgive me. Had I lost her because I’d been too damn scared of losing both her and Delia?
“Sofia, I really didn’t mean to hurt you. I was trying to keep you both safe.”
Her jaw tightened and she turned her back to me. It felt like someone was ripping my heart out of my damn chest. Even though it was clear my brothers had tried to hide her from me, it wasn’t until this moment that I realized I might have lost her forever. I got off the bed and slowly walked toward the hall, stopping in the doorway. Glancing at her one more time, I saw the tension in her body and knew that pressing the issue wouldn’t get me anywhere right now.
I went back out to my bike, but Wire stopped me on the porch.
“Give her some time,” he said. “She thinks that pushing you away is what’s best. Sound familiar? You tried to keep her and Delia safe, and maybe yourself too. Now it’s her turn to keep everyone safe. At least, that’s what she thinks she’s doing.”
Yeah, too fucking familiar, but I didn’t understand what Sofia was saving me from. Or was she trying to save herself from more heartache? “What did you mean she’s not exactly sick?” I asked.
“That’s for her to tell you. I shouldn’t have even let you in the house, but I’d hoped that seeing you might change her mind. Seems that woman is every bit as stubborn as you.”
Change her mind. That didn’t sound good.
“I can’t fight what I can’t see,” I said. “How do I win her back when I don’t even know what I’m up against?”
“Part of what you’re fighting is the wall she built when you threw her out. I know you didn’t really want her gone, but she didn’t. She thought you didn’t want her, regretted what happened between you, and now she’s determined to give you the space you wanted. She said she understood why you did it, but that doesn’t mean it hurt her any less.”
“I don’t want fucking space. I just want her.”
Wire nodded. “Maybe you need to show her that. Don’t tell her. Words can only do so much, Saint. Man the fuck up.”
Show her. How the fuck did you show… Oh. I ran a hand through my hair. Flowers. Dates. All that shit I’ve never done. Watched enough of those damn romantic movies with my twin, Kayla, that I at least had an idea. Thank God she had Preacher to torture with that shit now.
“Keep her here. I’ll be back in an hour.” I hesitated thinking of everything I needed to do. “Maybe longer. Just don’t let her leave.”
Wire smiled and went back inside. Guess that was the answer he’d wanted, which meant he really didn’t have the least bit of interest in Sofia. I didn’t see how he could have her under his roof and not want her. She had to be the sweetest, sexiest woman I’d ever met. I got on my bike and stopped by Bull’s house to ask them to keep Delia a bit longer, maybe even overnight.
“You found Sofia,” he said, leaning against the doorframe.
“Yeah, but it seems I have some making up to do, which means I need to know that Delia’s taken care of for a little bit.”
He nodded. “We can do that. The kids love her. Leave the door unlocked and Darian will head over to get some clothes for Delia.”
“I have a few errands to run, then I’ll need to shower before I go back to Wire’s place.”
“Trying to convince Sofia to go anywhere with you won’t be easy. And I’d suggest taking the SUV.”
“You don’t think she liked riding on my bike?” I asked, my brow furrowed. I’d looked forward to feeling her wrapped around me as we rode through town.
“Just trust me. Take the SUV.”
I nodded and thanked him again before getting back on my bike. I left the compound and went to the men’s shop in town. Since I’d never done the dating thing, all I owned were T-shirts and jeans. I wasn’t giving up my jeans, or my cut, but I did want to get a nice shirt for my date with Sofia. The woman who rushed over to help me nearly made me turn around and run back out of the store. I’d seen that eager look before, and I didn’t think it was the sale she was drooling over.
“What can I help you with today?” she asked, her smile overly bright.
“I need a dress shirt.” I looked around the store, but I honestly didn’t even know where to start. I’d never seen so many colors or patterns.
“Do you want a collar?” she asked.
“Yeah.” I narrowed my eyes as I looked around again. “I think so. Never really worn a dress shirt before.”
“I bet you’ll look fantastic in one.” She practically purred and I turned to look at her again, just in time to see her scanning my body with a hungry expression. Fucking great. Why couldn’t it have been some guy or little old lady working here? At least if a guy hit on me, I could just tell him I didn’t play for that team and he’d be fine. But turn down a woman like this one and all hell could break loose. I’d seen her type plenty of times.
“Maybe I could just look around a bit and see if there’s anything I like.” I edged away from her and started toward a wall of shirts in a variety of colors and styles. I didn’t lose the blonde-haired pit bull, much to my chagrin. She stuck to me like fucking glue, even had the audacity to reach out and run her hand down my arm. I moved out of her reach, but determination flashed in her eyes. Fuck. Me.
“Look, lady, I appreciate the help, but I just want to look without you slobbering over me like a bitch in heat.” I glared at her. “Unless you want me to call the store manager, stop touching me. I’m not interested. I’m picking out a damn shirt so I can take my woman on a date. I’m taken.”
Her lips thinned and her nostrils flared. I seriously expected her to lose her shit, but a throat cleared from across the room and she immediately scurried off. A man in a charcoal suit came over, holding out his hand.
“I apologize for Bitsy. I’m Charles Bowman. The owner of the store.”
I shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Bowman. Might want to put your employee on a leash.”
He smiled faintly. “She’s been warned several times. This was her last strike. While you browse a moment, I’ll take care of Bitsy, then we’ll find you the perfect shirt.”
He walked off, or more like glided away, and pulled Bitsy into the back room. I could hear her screaming and cussing as I flipped through some of the shirts. I hadn’t even realized men’s shirts could have so many different styles. Just the variety of collars was enough to make me anxious. I’d thought I’d just walk in, find a shirt my size, and walk out. This looked way more difficult. Should have just gone to one of the big box stores. It’s where I usually bought my jeans, and those places seemed far less complicated than this.
Mr. Bowman returned, his hands behind his back. “Do you have a particular type of shirt, or color, that you need?”
“I honestly have no idea. I just wanted something nice so I could take Sofia out to dinner. All I own are T-shirts, but I wanted tonight to be special.”
He nodded and pulled out a measuring tape. “May I?”
I held out my arms. “Go for it.”
After he took my measurements and asked a few more questions about my plans for the evening, and what I would be wearing with the shirt, he pulled out a few and showed me to a dressing room. My favorite was a blue-gray with a pointed collar that didn’t have pockets. The two I’d tried with pockets felt strange under my cut. The blue-gray also allowed for more movement, which was ideal in case trouble found us. Not that I thought trouble was lurking around every corner. With Sofia’s dad and his men gone, things had been quiet the last few weeks.
“That one?” Mr. Bowman asked as I stepped out of the dressing room with the shirt clutched in my hand.
“I like the feel and fit of this one the best.”
“Since you plan to wear your jeans and your… cut, I’m going to suggest going without a tie. However, should you ever need one, or more shirts or a full suit, please come by again and I’ll be happy to assist you.”
“Thank you, Mr. Bowman.”
He rang up the shirt, even gave me a discount for having to deal with Bitsy, and then I was on my way to the next stop. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a decent haircut, or had my beard professionally trimmed. The last month it had grown a bit wild, and I wasn’t the best with a set of clippers or scissors. The barber shop was nearly empty when I went inside, and old Mr. Smithers waved me over to a vacant chair. “I’ll be with you in a minute, Saint,” he said.
I eased down onto the chair and put my feet on the silver bar across the front. Even though Mr. Smithers had about three other men working for him, he’d been cutting my hair since Torch had brought me here when I was seventeen. He’d never let anyone else help me. When Mr. Smithers made his way over to me, he turned my head one way, then another. “Been a while, boy. You’re looking more like a mountain man these days.”
I laughed and had to agree.
“Beard trim and haircut?” Mr. Smithers asked.
“Yes, sir. I have a date tonight so I need to look my best.”
The man froze and stared at me. “My, my. In all the years you been coming here, not once have you ever had a date. Not sure if I should pray it goes well, or pray that young lady runs the other way.”
“Definitely the first one.”
He nodded. “Well, let’s get you cleaned up and presentable so you don’t scare her off.”
Mr. Smithers took his time, and when he was finished, I had to admit I looked like a completely different guy. My beard was close-cropped and my hair was neat, the way I usually kept it. I paid the bill, gave him a good tip, and then I was off to the final stop before heading home to shower and get ready for what I hoped would be an amazing date with Sofia. If she agreed to go anywhere with me. By the time I got back to the compound, I found a note from Darian that she’d already stopped by and she wished me luck. At least someone other than Wire was on my side. Isabella had made it sound like everyone was pissed at me for what happened with Sofia.
I locked the front door and went straight to my bathroom. I tossed the sack with my new shirt onto the bed, then stripped out of my clothes. After I had the shower running, the water hot enough, steam filled the bathroom, I stepped under the spray and let the heat seep into my muscles. I was nervous as hell about tonight. If I fucked this up, I could lose Sofia.
I closed my eyes and tipped my head back. Blindly grabbing the soap, I started to wash. I’d always been an Irish Spring kind of guy, and never had any complaints, but I was starting to think I should have bought something special for tonight. There was no guarantee the night would end with Sofia coming home with me, but I could hope. An image of her flashed in my mind, her legs spread as she begged me to fuck her. My dick was so damn hard I ached.
The first stroke of my cock had me groaning. I’d jerked off more times than I could count since the day I’d taken Sofia, and every damn time I was left unsatisfied. Didn’t stop me from getting off, but it was nowhere near the same as being inside her. I tightened my grip and tugged on my cock faster and harder. Bending my knees a little, I reached between my legs with my free hand and squeezed my balls. Fuck!
“Sofia.” I bit my lip, pictured her on her knees, my cock in her mouth, and I fucking exploded. I opened my eyes and gasped as my cum jetted onto the tiled wall and my heart hammered in my chest.
My dick was still semi-hard, but at least I didn’t have a raging hard-on at the moment. Maybe I could control myself enough not to sport wood the second I saw the woman I couldn’t get off my mind. I finished my shower, dried off, and tied the towel around my waist. I went through my usual ritual of brushing my teeth, putting on deodorant and a little cologne, then styled my hair. I grabbed the beard butter and worked some into my beard before combing it. Even though there was less of it right now, I still wanted to keep it soft so it wouldn’t scratch Sofia.