Saint
I got dressed, then grabbed my keys. My hand trembled and I realized I was scared as fuck that I’d get to Wire’s house and she’d refuse to go anywhere with me. I wouldn’t blame her, but I really needed her to give me another chance. I wouldn’t fuck it up this time. I’d thought I was doing the right thing, but obviously that hadn’t been the case. I should have explained things to her, but I’d known that she would refuse to go if she thought I wanted to keep her. Watching her walk away had been the hardest damn thing I’d ever done. Even harder than bringing a baby home.
Wire was on the porch smoking a cigarette when I pulled up and I frowned as I got out of the SUV.
“Since when do you light up?” I asked.
“Since your woman is stressing me the fuck out. Seriously, Saint. Fix this shit and get her back home with you. All the crying is wearing on my damn nerves, and nothing I say or do seems to make it stop.” He dropped the cigarette and stomped it out. “I gave this shit up a long time ago, but I need the nicotine when she’s around. And I refuse to smoke in the house. Spent more time on this damn porch since she’s been here than I have the rest of the year.”
I refrained from flipping him off. It wasn’t my fault he was a pansy ass and couldn’t handle some tears. Granted, I didn’t like it when Sofia cried either, but it wasn’t going to make me smoke, or do anything else I normally wouldn’t. I still felt like there was something off, something I needed to know about the situation.
“She in her room?” I asked.
“No. Living room. I told her to dress nice, that I had a surprise for her. She doesn’t know you’re coming so I’m not sure how she’ll react.”
Shit. I’d left and not said anything else to her, no indication that I’d return for her. I paused in the doorway when her gaze locked with mine. Fucking hell but she looked gorgeous. The dress she had on hugged her breasts, then flared out, stopping above her knees. Maybe it was just my imagination, but she looked a bit bigger on top than before. I’d stared at her breasts often enough that I knew something was different. Before she called me on it, I shifted my gaze to her face. Salivating over her like a damn dog wasn’t going to win me any points.
“You look beautiful,” I said.
“Why are you here?” she asked, fidgeting with her dress.
“I came to take you on a date.”
Her eyes widened a little, and I saw her pulse flutter at the base of her throat. She started shaking her head and acted like she was about to dart past me, but I held up my hands, hoping she’d stay and listen.
“Will you go on a date with me, Sofia? Let me do things the right way. If we’d met under any other circumstances, then I’d have asked you out.”
“Would you really?” she asked. Her lips twisted and pain flashed in her eyes. “That doesn’t seem to be the biker way from what I’ve seen around here, and what I’ve heard from my sisters. The single men seem more interested in sex than relationships.”
She had me there.
“I’ve never dated anyone before,” I admitted, “and yes, I’ve been with my share of women. Not as many as a lot of my brothers, but I’ve not been a monk. Not until Delia anyway. That’s in the past, Sofia. You’re different. You’re not like the other women I’ve been with. They were just a release, a way to blow off steam and sexual frustration. What we shared that day… it was special. You matter. A lot. I care about you and I want to give you everything you deserve, starting with a proper date.”
Her lip trembled and she turned away. “I don’t matter. Not to you. I didn’t matter when you said it could only be the one time. I didn’t matter when you got cold and distant right after. I didn’t matter when you said Delia didn’t need me, and implied you didn’t either.”
“I was an asshole, Sofia, and I’m sorry. I’ll get down on my knees right here and now to beg your forgiveness if that will help. Is that what you want?”
“No,” she said. “What I want is to rewind the clock and have you hold me afterward, tell me, then that I meant something to you. But I can’t go back in time. I can’t change the past. I’m not sure anything you say or do now can make up for that.”
I moved closer and placed my hands at her waist. Turning her to face me, I tipped her chin up and pressed my lips to hers. She inhaled and stiffened. As I teased her lips with my own, she softened and began pressing closer to me. Soon, she was kissing me back. Regardless of what she said, she still wanted me. I knew I had a lot to make up for, but if she didn’t go on this date with me, then I didn’t know where else to start.
“Sofia, please go out with me.” I ran my hand down her hair. “Let me show you that I’m not the asshole you think I am. I was scared for you and my daughter, and I didn’t handle the situation the right way. I’m not perfect, but for you, I’d like to try to be.”
“I don’t need perfect,” she said.
“Then you’ll give me another chance?”
She hesitated, then gave me a slight nod. My relief was instantaneous and I gripped her hand, leading her outside to the SUV. Wire was still on the porch, smoking another damn cigarette. In the six weeks Sofia had been under my roof, she’d never been so much of a pain that I’d felt the need to drink or smoke. I had a hard time picturing her driving Wire to pick up a pack of cigarettes. He’d mentioned that she cried a lot, but I figured it had to be more than that.
I helped Sofia into the SUV, buckled her seat belt, then went around to the driver’s side. I started the car and drove through the compound to the front gate. Lief was manning the gate and I waved as I pulled through. He hadn’t been with us for long, but he seemed like a solid guy, the kind who would have your back when the shit hit the fan.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“I made a reservation for us earlier. If you see the menu and decide you don’t want to eat there, we’ll go somewhere else. It’s the best place in town, and the lot is always packed. I wanted to make sure we’d have a table.”
“You put a lot of thought into this.”
“Well, yeah. I don’t wear a dress shirt for just anyone, Sofia. I had to go buy one because all I own are T-shirts, but I wanted to look nice when I took you out tonight.”
I needed her to know that this was serious, that I was serious about her. She wasn’t a fling, and I wouldn’t tire of her in a few days or weeks. I had a feeling that Sofia was it, the one. Telling her that right this moment might make her turn and run, especially after what I’d put her through.
“You trimmed your beard.” She reached over and lightly ran her fingers over my jaw. “I like it.”
I grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers. I eased into the parking of The General’s Steakhouse and circled the lot at least four times before a parking space opened up. I slid the SUV into the spot, then turned off the car. Sofia was looking around, but I noticed her hands were fidgeting with her dress again.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“So many people. Are you sure you want to be seen with me? We could go somewhere quieter.”
What. The. Fuck.
“What the hell do you mean do I want to be seen with you?” I demanded. When she flinched, I realized I’d been a bit too harsh and I reached over to run my fingers down her cheek. “I’m sorry for scaring you. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. I just don’t understand where that question came from. Why wouldn’t I want to be seen with you?”
“I didn’t want people to get the wrong idea.” She locked her gaze with mine, and I saw resignation, pain, and something fleeting that I didn’t quite catch.
“Sofia, I asked you on a date so we can have a new beginning. I’m not going to change my mind, if that’s what you think. Hell, I’d have thrown you over my shoulder and carried you back home earlier if I hadn’t found you crying in your bed.” I rubbed a hand down my face. Christ. I was going to fuck this up. “I want you in my home, Sofia. In my bed. I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms.”
The tears trickling down her cheeks nearly sent me into a panic. I’d never done well with crying females, but the fact it was Sofia just made it worse. I was trying to make things better, not worse. I couldn’t seem to do a damn thing right with her. She brushed the moisture from her cheeks and sniffled a little.
“We should go eat,” she said. “Don’t want to waste your reservation.”
I swallowed hard and gave her a nod before I got out of the SUV. I opened her door and helped her out, then led her to the front of the restaurant. I gave the hostess my name and she grabbed two menus and asked us to follow her. We wound our way through the restaurant to the side porch. The area had been cleared except for one table with two chairs. Sofia turned curious eyes toward me, but I kept walking. The hostess placed our menus on the table.
“You requested a bottle of Pinot Noir,” the hostess said. “I’ll notify the bartender that you’ve arrived and someone will bring it out.”
“Wait.” Sofia stepped forward a little. “I, um, can’t drink the wine.”
Fuck. Me. I’d completely forgotten that she wasn’t twenty-one yet. I was a fucking idiot.
“We’ll pass on the wine,” I told the hostess. “I’ll take a bottle of pale ale, whatever you’ve got is fine. Sofia, what would you like?”
“Just water with lemon, please.”
The hostess smiled and gave us a brief nod before hurrying off to get our drinks.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about you not being twenty-one.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Guess that backfired a little.”
A strange look crossed her face, but it was gone before I could decipher it.
I pulled out her chair, then claimed the one across from her. Sofia picked up her menu, but I noticed she kept glancing at me over the top. I hadn’t eaten here often, but I always got the same thing. Torch and Venom had brought me here when I turned eighteen, and again when I turned twenty-one. I’d been here twice on my own since then. It was pricey, but worth it. I just hated spending that much on food when it was just me eating. It was the type of meal that was better when you have company. Sofia was worth it and so much more. I hoped I could make her see that.
“Get whatever you want. I always order the same thing, but I’ve been told everything on the menu is amazing.”
“You could have taken me to the diner,” she said. “You don’t need to go to all this trouble.”
I took the menu from her, set it aside, and gripped her hand. “Sofia, you’re worth all this and more. I wanted to take you somewhere nice, have a special night with you. Let me spoil you a little.”
“If you’re trying to make up for the last two months, it’s not necessary.”
Two months. Damn. It really had been that long since we’d been intimate. Longer actually. It had been exactly nine weeks since I’d had her in my bed. Too fucking long. Those were weeks I couldn’t get back, time I could have spent with her and yet I’d kept my distance. If I could do things differently, if I’d known that her father would never get anywhere near her… but I couldn’t turn back time. Even after her father had been eliminated, I hadn’t admitted that I’d fucked up and gone after her. I’d waited like a damn idiot, hoping she’d return to me. All I could do was try to make amends and hope she gave me another chance.
“Maybe I am, but that’s because I fucked up. I shouldn’t have pushed you away, even if I thought I was protecting the both of you.”
She sucked in a breath and her eyes went wide. I paused and noticed the color had leeched from her face and she looked seconds from passing out.
“Sofia, what’s wrong? Wire said you hadn’t been feeling well, but insisted you weren’t sick. What’s going on?”
A waiter left our drinks on the table, and Sofia reached for her water with a trembling hand. We ordered our food and after he left, I focused on the woman across from me. Her cheeks were a little pinker than moments before, but I knew something was wrong. She was scared, but I didn’t know why.
“Sofia.”
Her gaze locked with mine. “We can discuss it later. Let’s just enjoy dinner.”
I wanted to argue and demand she tell me what was wrong, but I nodded my agreement. As long as she kept talking to me, there would be plenty of time to figure out what was going on.
“Did you enjoy your time with Luciana and Violeta?” I asked.
“Yes, but I didn’t get to see Luciana as much. She lost her babies. When she thought her husband was dead, she sank into a terrible depression.”
I frowned, remembering Torch receiving a phone call from Spider. Had he never told Luciana that her husband was fine? That didn’t sound like him. He’d never let her suffer. The man might have ice in his veins when it came to dealing with assholes, but women turned the guy into mush… at least since marrying Isabella and becoming a daddy. If I remembered, I’d look into that later.
“She’s all right now?” I asked.
Sofia nodded. “She was so happy to see him, and I could tell that he loves her. She’s lucky. It seems that both my sisters have amazing men watching over them. Rocket hovered over Violeta the entire time they were here. I think she has a bit of hero worship for him, but he wasn’t inappropriate with her at any time.”
Right. They had amazing guys, and I’d treated her like shit. Thanks for the reminder.
“I’ve been trying not to be angry over what happened between us,” she said softly. “It hurt when you pushed me away, and even knowing that you were trying to keep Delia safe didn’t make the pain any less. In your place, I’d probably have done the same. Keeping the darkness away from Delia was your top priority, as it should have been.”
“Not just her. I remembered what you said about your dad. I thought if he saw that Delia and I cared about you, that he’d use her to get to you. I couldn’t do that to you, let him hurt you like that, force you to make that kind of choice. If he managed to get to the compound and saw that you were just there and not part of our family, then you would have fought him. At least, that’s what I hoped would happen.”
“I’d have gone with him, just to get him away from Delia. It didn’t matter if you’d shoved me to the side or not. I’d never let him do anything to hurt her. Not that it matters now. He’s dead. Rotting in hell.”
Our food arrived and after assuring the waiter we didn’t need anything else, the man walked off and left us alone. Though any time our drinks got low, he seemed to come from nowhere and refill them.
Sofia managed to eat half the food on her plate before she pushed it away.
“Not good?” I asked.
“Too full. I haven’t had much of an appetite lately, and when I do eat, it’s hard to keep anything down.” She clamped her lips tight and looked away, as if she’d said something she shouldn’t. It made me wonder it had to do with the non-illness Wire had mentioned. Before I could pull my phone from my pocket to discreetly Google her symptoms, the check was placed on the table.
“I’ll take care of that whenever you’re ready,” the waiter said.
I glanced at the amount and dropped enough cash on the table to cover it and a generous tip.
“Keep the change, but could we get a box for the leftovers?”
He nodded and hurried off, only to return a minute later with a clear plastic container. Sofia boxed her food and I carried it to the SUV for her, trying to keep an eye on her for any signs that she might not be feeling well. When we reached the compound, I had a decision to make. Take her back to Wire’s, or go to my house. I knew Delia wasn’t home, and I wasn’t ready to let Sofia go just yet. I went home, hoping she’d not put up a fight when she saw our destination.
“Is Delia here?” she asked as I pulled into the carport.
“No, she’s staying with Bull and Darian. I want you to come inside with me, but we don’t have to do more than talk. I’m just not ready for the night to be over yet.”
“Maybe for a little bit,” she agreed and got out of the SUV.
I grasped her hand as we walked up to the front door, and I pushed it open. We stepped inside and I flipped on the entryway light. My heart was hammering in my chest and I was scared as hell that I’d say or do something wrong. I needed Sofia in my life, but I didn’t know how to make her see that.
I led her into the living room and sat on the sofa, tugging her down beside me. She pressed against my side and leaned her head on my shoulder. I swallowed hard, feeling like complete shit that we could have had this the last two months but I’d fucked it all to hell. I laced my fingers with hers and lifted her hand so I could kiss the back of it. When my lips brushed against her skin, I heard her quick inhalation and glanced over to see her eyes dark and her lips parted. It seemed I still affected her. That was a good place to start.
“May I kiss you?” I asked.
“Saint, I… I want to say yes, but I’m scared of what it might mean. I know you want to start over, but…”
She couldn’t seem to even finish her sentence. I released her and stood up. “I’ll take you back to Wire’s place.”
Her lower lip trembled, and as a tear slipped down her cheek, I found myself kneeling in front of her. She gave a soft sob as she fought not to cry.
“Sofia, if you don’t want to be here, I’m not going to make you stay. I want you in my life, but I’m not going to force the issue.”
“It’s not that. I want you. So much. I just know it’s not a good idea. You’re going to hate me, and I…” She hiccupped and cried some more.
I reached out and brushed the tears off her cheeks, then slowly leaned toward her. She didn’t pull away. My lips met hers and Sofia gave a soft whimper. I ran my hand to the back of her neck and held her to me as I kissed her, soft at first, then more demanding. It felt like forever since I’d kissed her, touched her. My cock was hard and throbbing, and I wanted her more than my next breath. I rested my other hand on her calf and slowly eased it up her leg, pushing her dress up.
Sofia’s legs parted and I groaned as my fingers brushed the edge of her panties. I stroked across the cotton material, feeling how drenched she was.
“Sofia,” I murmured against her list. “Want you so much. Need you.”
“Please,” she begged.
I slipped my fingers under the edge of her panties and found her clit, giving it a firm stroke that had her crying out and arching toward me. I rubbed the little bud as my lips devoured hers. When she came, it took every bit of strength I had not to tear her panties off and fuck her right then and there.
“Tie me to your bed,” she whispered.
I drew back and stared at her, thinking I’d misheard. Her eyes were bright, but there wasn’t a bit of hesitance or uncertainty in their depths. I stood and lifted her into my arms, carrying her to my bedroom. I kicked the door shut and eased her down onto the bed. It only took a moment to get her dress off. The plain bra and panties she had on didn’t detract from her beauty. Her nipples were hard and pressing against the material. I reached down and unfastened her bra, tossing it aside, before sliding her panties down her legs.
Taking a step back, I slid my cut from my shoulders and set it aside before working free the buttons on my shirt. Sofia slid from the bed onto her knees and reached for my belt. The breath stalled in my lungs as she stared up at me, her lips swollen from my kisses. I quickly removed the shirt and tossed it aside as she slid my belt free and unfastened my jeans. I pushed the denim and my underwear down over my hips.
Sofia reached up and wrapped her hand around my shaft, giving it a stroke that nearly had my knees buckling. When her tongue lapped at the head, I’d have sworn my eyes rolled back in my head. I gripped her hair, and tugged until she took me into her mouth.
“Remember what I told you before?” I asked.
She nodded.
“If you want me to stop, tell me. If you don’t say anything, I’m going to assume you want me to keep going.”
She blinked up at me trustingly. With my fingers twisted in the strands of her hair, I dragged her lips up and down my cock, going a little deeper each time. On the next stroke, I didn’t stop until she’d taken all of me. She gagged a little and her eyes watered, but I ground myself against her lips before pulling back. Sofia sucked in a lungful of air, and then I started fucking her mouth, taking what I wanted. Her nails bit into my thighs and she moaned, her eyes locking with mine.
“Such a good girl. God, but your mouth feels incredible. I’ve dreamed of this. Of you on your knees, my dick in your mouth. I’m gonna come and you’re going to swallow. Understood?”
She hummed in agreement and I doubled my efforts until jet after jet of cum filled her mouth. She swallowed all of it as I’d demanded, then licked my shaft.
“Damn, sweetheart.”
She smiled up at me, then rose to her feet. I’d worried that if I ever did that to her, it would trigger some sort of episode, but she’d surprised the hell out of me. I could see how wet she was and slipped my hand between her legs before plunging two fingers inside her. Sofia tipped her head back, her eyes closing.
So fucking perfect.
“My little angel want to come?” I asked.
“Please, Saint. Please.”
“It’s just us, Sofia. You can call me Johnny when we’re in this room.”
“Johnny,” she whispered.
Hearing my name on her lips was enough to get my dick hard again. I fucked her pussy with my fingers, driving them into her and stroking her clit with my thumb. Her body trembled and she gave a soft whimper before she came. My hand was soaked, and I was loving every damn second.
“On the bed, sweetheart. Get on your knees and put your hands up by the headboard.”
She hurried to obey. I got out the box of toys and used the cuffs to secure her like before. Before I got out anything else, I rubbed the cheeks of her ass before bringing my hand down on each one in two hard swats. She yelped and twisted to look at me, her eyes wide.
“That was for not coming home after your sisters left. I waited, thinking you’d come back.”
“I was giving you space.”
Smack. Smack. “Did I ask for space? Did I ever use those words?”
“N-no.”
Smack. She moaned and I noticed her cheeks were turning as pink as her ass. Interesting. Smack. Smack.
“Johnny, please.”
“Spread your legs.”
She parted her thighs, spreading them wide. Her pussy was soaked and swollen.
“Do you like it when I spank you?” I asked.
She didn’t answer right away and I swatted her twice more. She cried out and I watched as her pussy clenched.
“Yes! Yes, I like it when you spank me.”
Smack. Smack.
“Are you sorry you didn’t come home?”
She didn’t answer so I spanked her again.
“Yes! Yes, I’m sorry.”
She moaned as I rubbed her ass cheeks, both turning a nice shade of red.
“I tried to keep this part of myself from you,” I admitted. “I didn’t think you could handle it, that it would scare you.”
“I’m not afraid of you.” Her voice was soft but I heard her. “I… I like it when you do this to me. Tie me up and spank me. Maybe I shouldn’t, but it’s not the same as before. You aren’t trying to humiliate me or hurt me.”
“No, I’m not. If I punish you, it will never be worse than what I’ve done now. Well, there is one thing worse I could do.”
“What?” she asked, her gaze meeting mine over her shoulder.
“I could get you all worked up, then refuse to let you come.”
Her eyes went wide and she whimpered. Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen tonight, but it seemed that would be an effective punishment in the future. Assuming she still wanted to see me after tonight. Just because she was in my bed right now, it didn’t mean everything would be fine.
“You’re going to come for me, Sofia. You think you’re wet now, just wait. You’ll be begging before I fuck you tonight.”
I reached for the pink vibrator I’d used on her before and turned it on. I’d barely touched it to her clit when her back arched and she squealed as her body shuddered. I teased the little nub as she came, not stopping until I heard her soft cries. Her body trembled and shook from the force of her release, her pussy so wet her thighs were even soaked. I reached into the bedside table drawer and pulled out the lube before getting out a different toy. I put batteries in the vibrating butt plug, then took my time working it into her ass.
“Johnny, I…” I turned it on and she moaned. “Oh, God. So good.”
Placing the pink vibrator against her clit again, I turned it up even higher and smiled as she thrashed and screamed, coming again and again. I gripped her hip with my free hand and thrust hard and deep into her pussy. Sofia sobbed as I pounded into her. I could tell her clit was getting overly sensitive, but I didn’t remove the little vibrator until she’d come again. I felt her squeeze my cock as I fucked her. When she begged me, pleaded and said she couldn’t come anymore, I shut off the pink toy and tossed it aside.
“I think you can come again.” I took her harder and faster, pounding her sweet pussy. “Come for me, Sofia. Show me how much you love this cock.”
A loud, keening sound escaped her lips as she came again. She collapsed to the bed, but I gripped her hips and I kept fucking her until I found my release, filling her up with my cum. I grunted as my cock twitched inside her, and I was hesitant to pull out. She felt so fucking incredible, and I worried she’d try to run when I freed her from the cuffs.
I tugged on the vibrator in her ass and she gasped, her pussy squeezing me again. I eased the plug out, then slowly inserted it again. Sofia panted and squirmed.
“More?” I asked.
“Yes. Johnny, please.”
“Please what?”
“Fuck my ass.”
And that’s all it took for me to go from semi-hard to fully erect again. Damn. I pulled the plug out and shut it off, then slipped free of her pussy. I lined up the head of my dick with her tight opening and slowly sank into her, giving her body time to adjust.
“Yes! Saint!” Sofia twisted and I heard the cuffs clink against the headboard. “Don’t stop! I need more!”
“Hold on, baby. It’s going to be a fast, hard ride.”
“Yes! Yes, fuck me!”
I lifted her ass a little higher so I could slide in deeper. Every stroke felt like pure heaven and soon I was driving into her like a man possessed.
“You gonna come for me?” I asked.
“So close.”
I reached for the little pink vibrator again and used it to work her clit until she was screaming and thrashing under me, soaking the bedsheets with her release. I grunted as I took her harder, my balls drawing up. I couldn’t hold back and came, my hips jerking with every thrust as I drove my dick into her.
After, I was panting and felt like I’d run a damn marathon. Sofia whimpered and murmured under me, her body slick with sweat. I eased out of her and stood on shaky legs, then went to clean myself and the toys. When I returned, I wiped her with a warm, wet rag, but couldn’t help smiling as more of my cum slid out of her pussy and her ass.
I tossed the rag into the bathroom and reached for the cuffs, but I froze and covered her body with mine, placing my lips near her ear.
“If I free you, are you going to run?”
“No.” Her gaze was drowsy as she looked at me, and there was a soft smile on her lips. “I don’t think my legs work anymore.”
I kissed her cheek, then her lips before I freed her from the cuffs. I set them aside before stretching out on the bed and pulling her into my arms. It felt right, having her in my bed, getting to hold her. I was hoping she’d decide to stay. I’d been without her long enough, and I was ready for her to come home. This wasn’t just my home and Delia’s, it was Sofia’s too. I just needed to make her realize that.