Chapter Twenty-Two

The inside of Tara’s home was as classy and elegant as the outside was hideous. All remains of the gingerbread disaster had been cleared away, and the little cottage was decorated beautifully with clear lights and garland. The tree reached almost to the ceiling and was the perfect example of Shelby’s Christmas—magic. Justin was there for movie night, a tradition long held by the sisters and occasionally Brandon, when he could stomach it. Justin was the first outsider to have ever been included.

Justin had reluctantly allowed Marley to spend the night with her friend Molly. After much pleading from his sister, speaking with the girl’s mother, and getting a more complete run down on the family history from Tara, he had let her go. The pride in Tara’s eyes when he told her about it settled him, even if he had texted Marley twice already to make sure she was okay.

“Here, you’re going to need this.” Brandon handed him a lowball glass half-filled with bourbon.

“To watch Christmas movies?”

“Yes. We’re not talking Rudolph here, man. We’ll be watching made for TV chick flicks, sappy, sugar coated, and thoroughly unrealistic. Getting hammered is the only way to survive it.”

“If you hate it, why do you come?”

Justin watched the path that Brandon’s eyes made toward Charlotte. He looked away and shrugged. “The food’s always good.”

That might not have been the whole truth, but Brandon certainly wasn’t lying. The food was excellent. Justin finished his drink in one gulp, earning an appreciative look from Brandon, and walked toward the food table. The girls had knocked themselves out for what Tara had described as a casual movie night. There were two kinds of soups, a plethora of dainty sandwiches, bacon-wrapped sausages, a cheese tray, and a Christmas tree made from sugar cookies. He would definitely be in a food coma when the night was over.

“If you are trying to decide what to choose, I recommend the sausage and tortellini soup. It was slaved over by loving hands for hours just for your enjoyment.”

He turned around and pulled Tara close, enjoying the feel of her delicious figure pressed against him. He figured he must have looked like some sort of bug-eyed cartoon character when he saw her as he entered the house earlier that evening. Tara was the most edible thing there. Her skirt was short, her sweater tight, and the lighted reindeer antler headband nearly sent him over the edge. She was the perfect combination of class, sex appeal, and irreverence wrapped in one tight little package, and if he didn’t unwrap it soon, he might start hemorrhaging.

“One of these days, we’re going to have a date that doesn’t involve any of our sisters.”

“What a good idea.”

He kissed her then, deeply, and the warmth that rose inside him had nothing to do with the bourbon. If not for the voices in the other room, he would have had her pressed against the wall.

“You taste like red wine.”

“I’ve had a glass or two.”

“Getting wasted, sweetheart?”

Tara shrugged. “It’s tradition. Let’s get our food. I saved us the best seats in the house.”

They filled their bowls and plates, and Justin followed her back into the living room, where he saw that an oversized chair by the windows had been turned toward the TV with a tray table sitting beside it, wine bottle and glasses perched on top.

Tara set down her food and then, instead of settling on the chair, sat on the floor in front of it and pulled a blanket into her lap. Justin settled in beside her.

“Comfy?”

He pulled her legs across his and threw the blanket over them. “I am now.”

She leaned in close enough for him to feel her breath on his neck. “This might make eating difficult.”

His voice dropped low, mimicking hers as he ran a hand under the blanket from the top of her ankle boot, to the bottom of her skirt, and back again. “But it makes touching so much easier.”

Shelby entered the living room then, looking at her watch. It was a much-needed reminder for Justin that they were not alone.

“Okay, everybody, we’re going to start in five minutes. I recorded the movies, so we can skip the commercials. Everybody remember the rules?”

“There are rules to movie watching?”

Shelby placed her hands on her hips, and Justin began to fear the return of the Christmas witch. “Tara, you didn’t explain everything to him?”

Tara leaned over and grabbed a glass from the table. “Sorry, sister dear. I was too busy kissing him in the kitchen to go over the schedule.”

Shelby rolled her eyes and sat down on the sofa. “We’ll go ahead and start. Justin, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of things.”

“The hang of things,” as it turned out, involved Brandon making fun of the movie the whole way through, Charlotte and Shelby yelling at him for it, and a game that required taking a drink every time there was a meet cute, someone said Santa, or there was a plot point that was too ridiculous to believe. By the time the second movie started, Justin had abandoned any hope of Tara going home with him. He wanted her, but he wanted her sober.

He supposed it was for the best. If she was ready to take that step, she likely would not have drunk so much. He swallowed his disappointment and enjoyed having her relaxed form lying comfortably in his lap, though he did have to adjust her every now and then for the sake of his own sanity.

Tara looked up at him, her eyes shiny with the reflection of the lights through the window, and his chest filled with so much tenderness there was no room left for disappointment. He kissed her head and settled her back against him as her family’s cajoling laughter surrounded them. He was a patient man, and everything would come in its own time.

* * *

Tara walked into Shelby’s room just as she was coming out of the bathroom. Since the house was technically Shelby’s and Tara and Charlotte rented from her, she got the private bathroom while the other two shared. Shelby spotted her and gasped in surprise.

“Tara, you scared me to death. What are you doing here? The way you two were carrying on, I expected you to go home with Justin tonight.”

Tara flopped onto the bed, and Shelby sat beside her. “He’s too much of a gentleman to take advantage of a drunk girl.”

“Why would you dress like that, flirt like crazy, and then drink too much to do anything about it?”

Tara shrugged, feeling tears come to her eyes. “I thought I was ready.”

“Oh, sweetie. What’s wrong?”

“I think I finally understand why Charlotte gets so freaked out when she has spent too much time with Brandon. When you see forever in a man’s eyes, it can be a scary thing if you don’t have your shit together.”

“Oh, Tara.” She stroked her hair tenderly. “Really? Sounds like you need to figure out how to do that, honey. Forever is a pretty precious thing.”

Tara shook her head and sat up, crossing her legs underneath her. “You know, I never thought of myself as a hot mess. But some random guy comes to town and reflects everything that’s wrong with me.”

“How does he reflect you?”

“He has his own issues with his parents. Even he, wonderful as he is, has baggage.”

Shelby laughed softly. “You show me someone who says they don’t have baggage and I’ll tell you they are as real as my gingerbread men.”

“He’s dealing with his. And lately, I’ve been dealing with mine. It’s still scary, though. What if it goes away or he changes his mind?”

“Stop projecting Michael onto Justin. They are obviously two different men. All you have to do is look at him with Marley to see that. His commitment to that girl is pretty swoon worthy.”

Tara nodded and wiped her cheeks with her sleeve. “So, where’s your baggage?”

Shelby snorted. “Oh, it’s there. I just don’t let it control me. I try not to, anyway. Sometimes when I see Fran, I have to fight the urge to shove her in front of a moving car, and I burn every check or gift card Michael sends. I know I should donate his gifts the way you do, but destroying them makes me feel better.”

“And Justin thinks you were pretty much carved out of sugar, even after he’s seen you at your worst.”

“He’ll learn soon enough. Are you in love with him?”

Tara quickly nodded, seeing no point in denying it. “He’s the best man I’ve ever known. His capacity for love is massive, and he acts on it. He doesn’t just spout pretty words. He has such a strong sense of justice and of doing what’s right. And doing the right thing doesn’t scare him. It’s just part of who he is.” She sighed and attempted to stem the flood of tears. “I want what he’s offering so bad I can barely breathe.”

“Then take it! Fran and Michael have our past, don’t give them your future as well.”

Tara looked at her sister for a long time. “Did they ever love us, Shelby?”

“I think so. I mean, they must have, at least some. They just loved themselves more. This might be hard to hear, but you are doing the same thing. You are letting your own BS get in the way of what’s important.”

Tara breathed in a slow, shaky breath then released it. “Justin and Marley are important. His plans for the farm are far more important than mine ever were. I’m glad they are there.”

“Love is important, Tara.” Shelby brought her close for a hug. “And so are you.”