Andrea
Benjamin fixed a sagging shelf in my kitchen. I sat at the table, giving myself a home manicure, watching him.
“Why do you have a jar of onions in here?” He was emptying the cabinet.
“Onions? I’m not sure. Probably brought them for some recipe.”
He set his level on the counter. “I’m going to put two supports here, close to either side so they won’t be so noticeable. That will stop the wobbling.”
“Great. Thank you. I saw Eugene yesterday.”
“Oh really? Where?”
“Grocery store.”
“How is he?”
“He’s fine, but his mother’s not doing too good. He invited us to his housewarming party in Kentucky.”
“Oh, yeah. I remember he has family there. When is it?”
I waited for the power drill to stop so I wouldn’t have to yell. “In a couple of weeks, on a Saturday. If you ask now, can you get off?”
“No. This is the holiday season. I was the last man hired, so that means I’m going to be busy covering people’s vacation time. Sorry. Send our regrets and a gift.”
“Benjamin, would you mind if I went? If Gloria and I went?”
He let his measuring tape snap closed and looked at me. “He knows we’re engaged?”
“Yes.”
“So he invites his former girlfriend who is engaged to his house in a different state. Why?”
“He mentioned how the house turned out really nice and he thanked me and Carolyn for the work we did. I really want to see Carolyn’s work. See something she did I can be proud of. See something that will bring good memories.”
He nodded, and then shook his head. “I’m not comfortable with you going without me, Andrea. After the holidays you can call him and finagle an invitation, and we’ll go see the house. How’s that?”
“I know. It’s just, I look at Roy and have to fight back the tears some days. I miss my sister. I took out some more of her sketches. She was so alive and happy when she drew them. Other than Roy, I’d never seen her so excited about anything in her whole life. She’ll be reflected there in his home. I need to feel her. Does that make sense?”
He’d been looking at me, but he picked up his hammer and started to drive a nail. “Yeah, I saw them on the coffee table. Carolyn had talent.”
“And there’s his mother.”
He stopped hammering. “Who?”
“His mother. Mrs. Sherwood called this morning and invited me. She was such a comfort to me after the funeral and coming here was hard for her. You know she’s blind and doesn’t get out much. Do you really mind?”
“His mother, huh?” I heard him sigh from across the room. “Well, far be it from me to whip out the ball and chain. If you need to go, you need to go. Since Gloria’s going with you, I guess it’s all right.”
* * *
It was the second week in December. Not officially winter, yet the icy temperatures delivered a cold promise of events to come.
I’d called Gloria and asked her to meet me for lunch. I removed our food from a tray, took off my hat and coat and settled in my seat across from her. A second later, the juice dripping down my chin testified to the moist delicious goodness of the double cheeseburger I bit into. Gloria handed me a napkin.
“No, don’t think of Eugene as my reject.” I continued the conversation we started in the Burger King line a moment ago. “Eugene is a professional who just finished building his dream home on land his family owns in Kentucky. This could be a match.”
Gloria’s eyebrows knitted disbelief. “Girl, what am I going to do with some clingy-ass man? You don’t have to come up with something this whack to get me to go.”
“Everybody would like to be the center of somebody’s world, but Eugene and I didn’t click like that. I don’t think he’s beyond hope.”
After swirling her French fry until it was loaded with catsup, Gloria munched a minute. “When you put it that way, this might not be the worst idea I ever heard. It’s not like decent prospects are lined up around the block.” Her eyes cut to the leering, short guy at the next table. He had bad acne and a gold tooth. “Are you sure Eugene’s over you? He tried to be your shadow for a while.”
“We’re history. He called last week to make sure I was coming to the open house. He sounded lonely, and I thought about you two.”
“I don’t know, Andi. Even though he’s big, he’s kind of quiet. I’m more than most quiet men know what to do with.”
I laughed.
“So tell me, what does Mr. Wonderful have to say about you going to see a former boyfriend?”
“Benjamin doesn’t want me to go. He said I should get a gift and leave it at that, or arrange to go later, when he’s free. I want to see the house now. I don’t want to wait to see Carolyn’s ideas, and another reason I can’t wait is because Eugene’s mother is ill with cancer.”
“Okay. Makes sense to me. I’m in.”
“Thanks Gloria.”
* * *
A cold and dreary weather pattern had held on for the past week. I hoped it would warm up the farther south I drove, but the temperatures registered at about forty-five degrees throughout my trip. Radio stations regaled with long stints of Christmas music, so I sang all the way there. I was in a good mood when I arrived, three hours and fifteen minutes later.
Benjamin crossed my mind, but I thought he’d be busy at work and I didn’t want to confess I’d driven alone anyway. I’d just tell him all about my visit to Eugene’s house when I got back. He’d understand it was too late to change plans when Gloria had to cancel at the last minute.
Summerville was a town outside of Paducah, Kentucky. Mostly rural, the townsfolk were content to leave all the big city ways to the big city. None of those fancy big box stores, mall strips or la-di-da housing developments existed here. They wanted the quiet, lazy river kind of life where cordiality and good old American values were prized. Summerville’s particular brand of Southern lifestyle embraced an interracial family like the Sherwoods. Mrs. Sherwood was a white woman who had stood her ground and married Eugene’s father, a black man. Or, perhaps it was Eugene’s father who had stood his ground.
I hoped his mother would pull through her illness okay. She’d already had a lifetime of struggle with her interracial family, her blindness, which was the result of a boating accident when she was in her thirties, and now cancer. Even with all this, I knew bitterness and self-pity would always be strangers to her. I was grateful for a chance to see her now, in case her health took a turn for the worse.
As I drove past the one traffic light, I remembered how quaint I thought the town was the first time I’d seen it when Eugene and I dated. On our last visit, the annual quilt show was underway, and we enjoyed the works of art displayed. I had even given a passing thought to relocating here, because he’d shared from the beginning of our time together his plans to quit his job in St. Louis and move back home to take care of his mother as she aged.
As I found a space in his car-filled driveway, unblinking, white Christmas lights adorned every possible space on the three-story, A-shaped house. The thrill of what awaited me inside made me giggle.
A woman who introduced herself as Sally opened the door. The navy blue, white, gold, and green Mediterranean tiles in the foyer wowed me, as did the light fixture. This is all Carolyn!
“Mrs. Sherwood, it’s Andi.” In the green and black kitchen, Mrs. Sherwood was putting the finishing touches on a cheese and olive tray, but I could tell she didn’t feel well. Thank God I made it before it was too late.
“I’m so glad you made it, Andi.” She hugged me close and whispered, “Between you, me, and these walls, I don’t know what Eugene was thinking to let you get away.”
I quickly took her in. Mrs. Sherwood’s shoulder length hair was as it had been—mostly white with a shock of black running through it. Her skin was soft and pale, and she wore a red silk scarf loosely tied around her neck over a cream-colored pants suit. She had on dark sunglasses, which she didn’t wear unless there was company. “Thank you. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.”
“Well, after a certain age if it’s not one thing, it’s two or three all at once. The body just starts to have its way with you. But, enough about me. Eugene told me you’re engaged now, congratulations! Let’s see.” She removed the clear plastic gloves from her hands so her fingers could examine my engagement ring. “Oh, nice! I hope you two are very happy. Have you set a date yet?”
“Not yet. Thank you. I’ve known him a while. He’s a wonderful man.”
“I’m sure he is. May I give you a tour of the house?”
“No, that’s okay. You should go lie down if you don’t feel well but, I love what I’ve seen so far. As you drive up to the property, the steep pitch of the roof and the windows are so striking.”
“Yes, a lot of people comment on that. I think the windows contribute to the atmosphere here as well. I sense a kind of energy here that’s hard to put my finger on, so I don’t even try to understand it. I just enjoy it.” She squeezed my arm as she departed. “Thanks for coming, Andi. I wouldn’t have missed being here to say hi to you for the world, but yes, I’m going to lie down now.”
“Let me walk with you, I’ll just get my coat.”
“No, no. You just got here. Sally will walk with us. Stay, enjoy, but call me sometimes.”
“I will.”
She left with Tess, her faithful dog, saying goodbye to a couple of other guests on the way out.
Being here not only brought Carolyn to life, but Mrs. Sherwood’s cancer called up memories of my mother as well. My hands trembled because of that one word—cancer. The idea of discomfort and struggle accompanied that word, even today.
Soon guests surrounded Eugene. I joined them in time to hear him say, “I invited Reverend Richards. It was my mother’s idea to ask him to bless the house, but an emergency came up and he can’t make it.”
“Too bad,” I said. That would have been a wonderful way to begin in a new home. When I moved in to my house, Reverend Tolley, my minister, came over for dinner and went from room to room saying a prayer. It put me at ease.”
The conversation moved on to a different topic. Standing still, I realized I was inside another one of Carolyn’s sketches. The fluffy sheers at the windows, the striped love seat and couch, even the massive abstract painting on the wall was as she had depicted.
“Eugene,” I called to him. I wanted him to tell me the details about which store for each item, but being in the middle of a conversation, he held up his hand signaling he’d be just a minute.
While I mingled with others on a self-guided tour, tears trickled down my cheeks. Carolyn’s sketches were exact reproductions in many of the rooms. She would’ve had a wonderful future as an interior designer, if she could have just pulled her life together. My stomach knotted with guilt. I hadn’t been able to help her.
We ate and drank, and then somebody noticed it was raining outside. It was only three, but I thought I should head back. I had made my way to the room with the coats, when Eugene caught up with me.
“Andi, what do you think?”
“I think it’s fantastic! Are you happy with the Mediterranean tile in your foyer? I think that’s my favorite thing.”
“It adds unbelievable elegance. Carolyn had such vision.
“She really did,” I agreed
“I think most people are taking off. Let me see them out.”
“I’m going, too,” I said.
“Wait a few more minutes. You came all this way and I’d love it if we could chat.”
Completely clueless, I stared at him. “About what?”
“I have a couple of Carolyn’s letters I wanted to give you.”
“Carolyn’s letters?”
“Yeah, you didn’t know we wrote back and forth for a time? She mainly answered design questions for me. This was after Roy had been taken, and you and I had broken up, but before she drifted downhill.”
“Really? She never mentioned them to me. I’d like to see them.” Sure it wouldn’t take long, I said, “I’ll wait.”