BY THE TIME Wyatt had Dutch settled at the kitchen table, the entire family had come in. Everyone was there, but Addie was the one who pushed her way to the front. “Dutch.”
Dutch was the rock that this community relied on. Right now, he was broken.
“I... She just wouldn’t listen,” he whispered. He ran his hand down his weathered face. “I tried to stop her.”
“Elizabeth?”
He nodded, looking only at Addie. “She’s gone. I’ve looked everywhere.”
“We’ll find her, Dutch.” Wyatt’s voice was that of reason and determination. Addie had relied on that voice, on his broad shoulders, so many times in her life. But was he going too far? Was he promising something they couldn’t do?
Dutch looked toward the window, and Addie followed his gaze to the inky black beyond the yard lights. What was he thinking? Imagining? Remembering?
“I should have known what to do,” he whispered. “I’m trained. I know not to push her, I know to just go with her, not try to make her see reality.”
Addie put her hand on his shoulder, hoping to comfort him. “You said yourself she was upset.”
“Yeah. Something set her off. She said she saw Cal.” His voice broke. “She kept screaming at me that I was keeping him away from her.” Dutch’s shoulders shook. “I’d never do that to her.”
“We know better.” Addie tried to reassure him, but the memories of Cal hurt them all too much. The idea of Elizabeth out in the night, searching for what she’d never find, hurt.
Dutch looked defeated. “I gotta find her. I thought because we were here earlier, maybe she came back. She swore she saw him tonight.”
“I’m sorry, we haven’t seen her.” Wyatt grabbed his jacket. “But we’ll help you look for her.”
Everyone moved then. No one even thought twice about jumping into action. Dutch stared at them, wiping his eyes with his big, weathered hand.
“What if...what if she goes back home? I didn’t think of that. No one’s there.” Panic filled his voice.
“I’ll go over to your place and wait,” Emily volunteered.
“She might not recognize you.”
“Maybe. We have to take that chance. I don’t know what choice we have. I’ll call you if she shows up.”
Dutch slowly nodded and headed to his cruiser. Wyatt called the bunkhouse to get the men involved while Emily grabbed her car keys.
This was a search everyone wanted to help with.
Marcus stood at the edge of the kitchen, watching the commotion, watching the family kick into gear. Addie approached him then.
“What’s going on?” Marcus put his arms around her, letting her lean into him.
“It’s bad,” she said, holding on to him, needing someone to lean on. Needing him.
“What happened?”
“Elizabeth thought she saw Cal. I told you how she never recovered from his death. And lately, her dementia’s been getting worse. She took off this evening, and Dutch can’t find her.” Addie finally pulled away. “We’re going to help look for her.”
The sound of footsteps on the stairs broke through the night’s quiet, reminding Addie that she needed to pull herself together and get changed. Everyone would be leaving soon, and she intended to join the search. “I—”
“What can I do to help?” Marcus asked, his offer smoothing some of the rough edges of her sorrow.
“You don’t have to—”
“I know that.” He hugged her. “I want to help. When Ryan was gone those few hours.” He swallowed hard.
Addie remembered the panic in Marcus’s voice over the phone that night. Empathy for Dutch covered his face.
“Thank you.” She wanted to kiss him and go back upstairs. “Later,” she whispered before letting all the commotion engulf her.
In the yard, the men had mounted the varied ranch horses. They’d go over the hills. Wyatt and DJ sat behind the wheel of the trucks. They’d drive the roads, paved and dirt. Mandy was on her phone calling neighbors.
Elizabeth would be home by morning. Addie was confident of it.
Addie led Marcus across the ranch—to all the places people had partied, danced, ate, walked. The dance floor was deserted. The bonfire had been put out, though the circle was still warm.
“Do you really think she came back here?” Marcus asked as they headed toward the barn. The kids were still sacked out, so they were moving around quietly.
“I don’t know. She’s familiar with the ranch. With our family.”
“Because of you and Cal?”
She had to think about that answer. “Some. But she was friends with the family long before us. I remember her when I was a kid. She was fun.” She hadn’t known Cal then. Addie laughed softly with a memory. “The bonfire was her idea originally.” She kept walking. “Except back then it was over by—”
Suddenly, Addie knew where Elizabeth was. She didn’t want to know, didn’t want to even think about her there. But it was the only answer. The memories overwhelmed her. She fought to clear her mind. No. She had to focus. Had to...go there.
“Where are you going?” Marcus called after her. She heard him, but couldn’t take the time to explain. She ran. Across the lawn, down the hard-packed dirt track she hadn’t followed in years.
Her sandals slapped loud against the dirt. It was strange wearing shoes here. Barefoot was the norm back then. The sand and soon the mud oozed up between her toes. She swallowed the ache inside her throat.
Addie heard thudding steps behind her. Knowing it was Marcus. And probably Wyatt. And half the ranch. She didn’t care. If she waited, she might never get the nerve to face it again. She hadn’t managed it in fourteen years.
She heard the water rushing over its banks. So familiar and beautiful. And painful. Oh, Cal. She almost thought she heard his laughter. The call of his deep, sweet voice. The boy who’d never had the chance to grow into the man. The ghost she couldn’t manage to leave behind.
* * *
ELIZABETH STOOD ON the edge of the river. Even from here, on the bluff just a few yards away, Addie saw her eyes. Her stare was that distant blank that only a person whose mind had faded could display. Addie’s heart hurt. Sad for Dutch. For Elizabeth. Who was that with her?
The boy standing beside Elizabeth turned, and the relief that washed over his familiar face nearly tore Addie’s heart in two. “Ryan?” Addie called.
Elizabeth turned as well, her eyes suddenly coming to life. “No, you stay right here with me, young man.” The authoritative voice grated on Addie’s nerves. It was so unlike the Elizabeth she remembered.
“Elizabeth,” Addie called, slip-sliding down the side of the sandy bluff. Finally, she halted at the bottom, sand under her feet and clinging to her legs. She ignored the discomfort. “He’s not Cal.” She said it firmly, but not without an edge of her own fear.
“He’s my son.” Elizabeth bit out the words.
“No, he’s not.” Addie lifted her chin, struggling to stay calm, to stay firm. “This is Ryan.”
Elizabeth’s gaze wavered as she looked at the boy, a frown on her brow. “No. It’s...” Elizabeth stared, looking at Ryan. Then at Addie. Then Ryan again. “Addie?” she whispered. Her confusion was strong, but Addie couldn’t worry about her now. She needed to protect Ryan. Get him away. Then she’d deal with Elizabeth.
“You need to let him go home to his dad.” Addie spoke carefully, clearly. “He’s got school tomorrow.” Maybe that would help. God, she hoped so.
“No!” Elizabeth reached out and curled her hand around Ryan’s arm. “He’s... He has to stay with me.”
“No!” Ryan tried to pull his arm away from Elizabeth. “I gotta go home.” He sounded panicked.
“Ryan, just hold still,” Addie told him. All his reacting and struggling would only make Elizabeth worse. The older woman’s adrenaline had to be high.
And Addie almost understood. Elizabeth thought this was Cal. Her son. Her only child.
Addie didn’t think she’d ever let go, either. She looked at Ryan—wishing. Not now. She pushed those thoughts away.
“Elizabeth.” Addie stepped closer, trying to get the older woman to look at her, away from Ryan. “We all need to go home.” For once, she wished it would start raining. That type of clue wouldn’t be lost even on Elizabeth, but the sun was coming up, bright gold.
“Why?”
“It’s time.” She kept her answer short on purpose.
The men who’d been running behind her crested the hill just then. Addie groaned. Elizabeth looked up, startled. Her grip on Ryan tightened. “Make them go away,” she screeched.
“They won’t go away until you let go of him,” Addie told her, hating the pain that blanketed Elizabeth’s face, but knowing there was no choice.
“He’s my baby,” Elizabeth cried, and Addie didn’t have the heart to hurt her any more. Instead, she stepped even closer.
“It’s okay, Elizabeth,” she whispered. “I’m here. I’ll help you.” The vague reassurance seemed to calm the older woman.
Elizabeth’s confusion grew, and Addie had to use it to her advantage. Once Ryan was gone, she could soothe Cal’s mother.
“You need to take him with you.” Elizabeth reached out and took Addie’s hand. She put it on Ryan’s shoulder. “He likes you.”
Addie took the opportunity to get Ryan away. As they crested the hill, flashing red and blue lights cut through the night. Dutch’s cruiser came down the dirt road. He’d take care of her now.
* * *
THEY WALKED TO the house in silence. The only sounds were the breeze and the whisper of their footsteps in the dirt. Marcus had his arm around Ryan’s shoulders, and they spoke softly.
Addie didn’t have anything to say. She was exhausted and just wanted to sleep for a week. Relief stole the adrenaline that had kept her going the past couple of hours.
“Go on up to bed,” Marcus told him. “I’ll be up in a minute.”
When Ryan turned, but didn’t leave, Addie looked over at him. The frown on his face told her something was wrong. What had Elizabeth said or done to him tonight? His face was pale and his eyes wide.
“Ryan?” She looked at Marcus. He looked as surprised as she felt that Ryan was still here. “What’s the matter?”
“I didn’t mean to cause any problems.”
She frowned. “Tonight wasn’t your fault.”
“What are you talking about, son?” Marcus walked over to the boy. “What’s the matter?”
Ryan crossed the floor and flung his arms around his father. Addie watched the pure pleasure on Marcus’s face as he returned his son’s hug.
“You know you can talk to me.” After several long minutes of silence, Marcus pulled back. “I think you need to tell us what’s going on. What happened that you aren’t telling us?”
“I’ll be right back.” Ryan turned and ran up the stairs.
“Do you know what’s going on?” Marcus asked her.
She shook her head. The long day, the long night, Elizabeth and now this—She wasn’t sure how much longer she could function.
It took several minutes before Ryan returned. He had a folded piece of paper clutched in his hand.
Instead of walking to Marcus, he stopped in front of Addie. “I...” He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. His eyes glistened with unshed tears. He extended the paper toward her. “Here.”
“What’s this?”
“Look.”
Slowly, she opened the much-folded and unfolded paper. “What—”
The world around her spun. Her heart pounded so hard against her ribs she thought it would knock her over. Oh, God.
Then, as if her brain kicked into gear, something else dawned on her. Slowly, too scared of what she wouldn’t see, what she would see. “Ryan...” She looked at Ryan. Then at the paper. Then back at Ryan. At the copy of an all-too-familiar birth certificate.
Marcus was behind her. When had he moved? Did it matter?
“What’s this?” He reached for the paper. His frown grew. His glare turned to her. “Someone better start explaining.” He shook the paper at her.
Why hadn’t she seen it? She took a step. And then another. Those eyes. She blinked hers to keep them clear. That chin. They were so familiar.
“How—” She could barely think, much less compose sentences.
“At computer camp last summer.” Ryan glanced sideways, warily, at his father. “One of the guys who’d been there before. He showed me how to hack into places.”
“Like sealed court records?” she whispered.
He simply nodded.
“After Mom died—” Ryan looked at her then “—I wanted to find you.”
“What’s going on?” Marcus yelled, though she saw the realization in his eyes.
Marcus stared at the paper. She didn’t need to see it. She’d seen it too many times—every time she opened the blue box on her bedroom closet.
“You knew about this?” He shook the page at her again.
“I—” She shook her head. What was he asking? Of course she knew about her child. “Yes.”
No one else here knew about—this. Mom had been the only one she’d ever confided in. Addie thought her secret had died with Mom.
Anger contorted Marcus’s handsome features. “I don’t know what you’re up to.” His voice was deep and menacing. “But Ryan is my son. You have no rights to him. You gave them up.”
“Dad!” The confusion and hurt in Ryan’s voice cut through her. She’d hurt him enough. Dear God. This was—she turned and took a step toward him—her son.
All this time she’d remembered the baby, mourned the infant. She’d never thought of him as growing up. That would have made it unbearable. Would have driven her slowly crazy.
“Don’t even think about it.” Marcus stepped forward, between her and Ryan, his broad frame blocking the boy from her view. “Ryan, get your things. We’re leaving.”
“But Dad—”
“No buts. Now!” His voice echoed through the house.
Ryan stood there a long minute, then turned, and the sound of his slow steps on the stairs told her he’d left.
She didn’t move. She couldn’t. Her body was frozen in place. She looked at Marcus and, like a kaleidoscope, every last detail of tonight spun around her. She loved him. Her heart hurt for him, for Ryan, for herself. For all of them.
His eyes filled with anger and so much more. Pain. Betrayal. Fear. He’d never believe her now if she told him how she felt. Anything she’d say now would seem like a desperate excuse to get to Ryan. And while she wanted that desperately, she wanted—needed—Marcus, too. A sharp ache hit her deep in the chest. “Marcus, please—”
“I don’t want or need to hear it. I’ve had enough of lies and secrets. Save it, Addie.”
His anger was justified, she knew that. But it also hit a nerve she didn’t know she had. He wasn’t the only one surprised here. “No, I’m not going to save it.” She stepped closer to him, her own anger loosening the pain’s grip. “You don’t get to be the only one angry here.”
“Don’t I?” He threw his hands in the air, then stepped closer, menacingly close. “What was last night all about, then?” His eyes sparked with pain and anger. “All that sharing? Where was this little secret in all that?”
Memories washed over her like sandpaper, rough and painful. “Last night was about common ground. About you and I connecting. You lost Carolyn. I lost Cal. Shared grief.”
He had the grace not to say anything. Maybe he was actually listening and considering her words.
She took a deep breath, trying to contain her own hurt and anger and think straight. “Your having a son isn’t a part of common ground. I don’t have that.”
“Apparently, you do.” She saw the anger, but she also saw the pain in his eyes.
His mother’s warnings rang in her mind. Donna had said Skylar men were lousy at relationships. She’d warned her they always walked away.
No, she’d been wrong.
She’d been—Addie mentally cursed—too right.
Marcus came out of the house then, taking Ryan to the Jeep—and away.