MARCUS WANTED TO throw something. He wanted to shove his fist through the nearest wall. Instead, he calmly walked to the back door and stared out. Maybe by staring at the impending darkness he’d see his son coming home. Ryan wasn’t at Dex’s. He wasn’t at Addie’s house. So where had he disappeared to?
Keeping busy helped as Marcus put his phone on speaker and dialed. He started by calling the Silvanos again. Still no answer. He left another message, hoping they’d get it soon and call back. It didn’t mean Ryan wasn’t with them. They just weren’t at their house.
Next, he called Ryan’s baseball coach. Clint Lawson was a good guy, if a bit hard on the kids at practice.
“Yeah,” the man answered.
“Clint. This is Marcus Skylar. Have you seen Ryan this afternoon?”
“No. Sorry. Something wrong?’
“I’m not sure.” Marcus took a deep breath, sweeping toast crumbs off the counter to distract himself. He pulled open the dishwasher and started unloading the clean dishes Ryan was supposed to have put away. “He went to a friend’s house earlier and hasn’t come home.”
“I’ll call around to the boys. See what I can find out.”
“Thanks.” The silence of the room seemed heavy after he disconnected the call. Now what? Ryan’s coach was calling the team. Addie was calling the parents at school. Marcus stood there, feeling nearly as helpless as he had the months Carolyn was sick.
He cursed and gave the cabinet a good kick. Thank God, they were sturdy old cabinets, not the cheap fiberboard they used in houses nowadays. He hung his head.
He finished the dishes, slowly, methodically, focusing. Should he call the police? He had no idea what to do. His gut twisted and hurt.
Finally, finished with cleaning the kitchen, he had his emotions somewhat under control. When his phone rang, he nearly dropped it in his haste to answer. He didn’t recognize the number. Not Ryan’s. “Hello?”
“D-Dad?”
Relief nearly sent Marcus to his knees. “Ryan. Thank God. Where are you?”
“I—I don’t know.” Thirteen-year-old boys caught between child and man didn’t cry. At least they pretended not to. Marcus remembered being that age.
“What do you mean, you don’t know?”
Ryan was silent for a long time. “I—I—Dex’s cousin has some horses he said we could ride. We went out to see ’em and...and look around. But I took a shortcut home.”
“Ryan, you don’t know any shortcuts. We’ve only lived here a few months.” Keeping his anger and frustration under control was a challenge. “Whose phone are you using? Is your battery dead again?”
“Yeah. I tried using the GPS. Musta used it too much. That’s why I got lost.”
Ryan was always running his phone battery down. Marcus took a deep breath, trying to beat back the angry panic. Ryan’s voice was calmer now that they’d connected.
“Where are you now?” He heard Ryan talking to someone. Was Dex there? Marcus groaned and wished he could crawl through the phone. “Who are you talking to?”
“Charlie. My bike tire went flat. He was working on his truck, so I thought he’d probably know how to fix a flat tire.
“Put him on the phone, Ryan.”
“Yello,” a gruff voice came through the phone.
“Where is my son?”
“My place.”
He was going to deck the man when he finally got to his son. He’d teach the SOB a lesson for being a smart-ass. “And that would be where?”
“Out on Blackthorne Road. Head out past the Equestrian Arena. I’m the house at the end of the dirt road. I’d bring your boy home, but my battery on my truck’s out. I was working on it when he got here.”
“Is there an address?” Marcus could put it in his phone and find the place. He didn’t know this town any better than Ryan did.
“Nope. Not that I use. Got post office boxes out here. Big salmon-colored house—blame the missus for that. Can’t miss it. Don’t y’all worry. I’ll keep your boy safe here with me and my missus.”
How the hell had Ryan gotten all the way out there? That wasn’t a shortcut home. Ryan had some serious explaining to do. Once he got him safely home. “And who are you?”
“Name’s Charlie Ferguson.”
“Can I call you back at this number?”
“Yep. Only one I got.”
“I’m on my way.” Marcus tried to hide his fear, tried to project strength and control through the phone. He let the man hang up, let go of the only connection he had to his son. His heart sank as his stomach turned. There hadn’t been any threats. Nothing to make him this concerned.
Addie would know where this place was. He wished she was here. He was halfway through dialing her number before he realized it. She answered on the first ring. “Did you find him?” She didn’t bother with any greetings.
“I think so.” Why did hearing her voice make it easier to breathe? “He just called. Said he took a shortcut home from some place Dex took him to see horses and got lost.”
“Oh, thank God. I was imagining the worst.” She sounded as out of breath as he felt. “Is he on the way home? Are you going to go get him? Where is he?”
“He’s with someone named Charlie Ferguson who lives out past the equestrian arena? A salmon-colored house?”
Silence was the only answer.
“Addie, help me out here. I don’t know where that is.” His panic returned.
“If I were there, I could get him.” Her voice was full of regret. “I’m too far away.”
“Addie, I’m perfectly capable of doing it.” He clenched his teeth, trying to swallow his frustration. He grabbed his keys and headed out to the garage. “Tell me how to get there.”
“I—” She paused. “Head toward Main Street.” He pulled out of the drive. “When you get to the railroad tracks, take a left.” She sounded out of breath. Was she moving or just anxious? He ached to know. Needed to talk to her. Wanted her here.
He followed her directions. “Okay, just past the tracks. Now where?”
“Go past the apple orchard. There’s a fork in the road, go right.”
He kept driving, feeling like he was working a puzzle. Thank goodness, he wasn’t having to do it alone. “Talk to me, Addie. I need to hear a voice.”
“What about the radio?”
“It’s not the same,” he whispered. “Just tell me something. Anything.”
She was silent for a long minute. “Are you worried or angry?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. What was he doing all the way out here? I know we moved to Texas, but he’s never been interested in horses before.”
“You’ll have to ask him. Have you reached the fork yet?”
“Just getting there. Then what?”
“There’s a dirt road up ahead. It shouldn’t be far. The house is just a short way down the road.”
“I see it. It’s getting dark.” He didn’t see any lights, no outline of a house, nothing. Just trees that lined the road so close and tight that he couldn’t see beyond them.
“You’re almost there,” she said, her voice a reassurance in the growing darkness.
He rounded the corner and saw the big house. “There it is!” The front light was on and lights were glowing in the front windows. “I’ll call you later.” He hung up and jumped out of the car almost before he’d put it in Park. “Ryan,” he yelled. “Where are you?”
“I’m here, Dad.” The boy came out the front door. An older man stepped out onto the worn porch behind him.
Ryan turned and smiled at the old man. “Thanks.” The old man nodded and smiled at Ryan. Nothing to fear. No risk. No threat.
Why didn’t Marcus’s stomach stop churning? Why didn’t his heart slow down? Maybe it would when he got Ryan home. Or maybe after he got done hugging him. It felt so good to feel his boy’s thin shoulders under his arm.
Once they were in the car, and Marcus had put the now-fixed bike in the back, Ryan finished thanking the Fergusons. He handed Ryan the phone. “Call Addie. She helped me get here. I think you scared her as much as you did me.”
“I’m sorry, Dad. Dex showed me where—”
“And where is Dex?” Marcus demanded.
“He stayed at his cousins’ for dinner. That’s why I took the shortcut home.” Ryan made it all sound so logical.
“Why didn’t you stay? All you had to do was call and ask.”
“I told you my phone was dead. I thought I could get home in time.”
Marcus’s head hurt. “We aren’t going to discuss this now.” He looked away from the road for an instant, his anger finally coming to the surface. “Was it Dex’s idea or yours to lie to me about where you were going?”
Ryan sat silent. “It’s not Dex’s fault.” He stuck up for his friend, which Marcus would normally admire, if he weren’t so angry. “He suggested it, but I did it. I’m sorry.” He looked out the window but didn’t dial the phone.
“Call Addie,” Marcus snapped.
Ryan lifted the phone and dialed. Even though the phone wasn’t on speaker, the close quarters of the car made it so Marcus could hear her. Her voice was breathless when she answered, her worry apparent. He wanted to ease that for her.
“Did you find him, Marcus?”
“Hi, Addie,” Ryan said.
“Oh, thank God.” She took a deep breath. “Where were you?”
“I got lost coming home from seeing some horses with Dex. I’m sorry I scared you.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Her voice broke, and Marcus had the feeling she was crying. Damn it. His heart hurt. She was too far away, and he couldn’t ease the pain for her.
“I’m okay.”
“I’m glad. And Ryan?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t ever do that again. I’m not sure who’d kill you first, me or your dad.”
Marcus laughed. Dear God, he loved that woman.
He almost missed the next turn as that realization suddenly hit him.
* * *
THE NEXT DAY, Ryan came into her office slowly, and quietly. He didn’t usually come to her office, though they saw each other nearly every school day. And on the weekends, if she counted the time she spent with his dad.
Normally, though, she’d take her afternoon stroll to the bus stop, and she’d talk with him there. She’d talked with Marcus the night before and had told him she’d do what she could to find out what was going on.
He was at a loss, and maybe Ryan would share information with her that he wouldn’t his dad.
“You want to talk to me about something?” she asked Ryan, not really looking up from her work. She didn’t want him to be overwhelmed and think he was getting extra attention for something that had scared his dad half to death.
“Maybe.” He slumped in the chair across from her. Most kids didn’t want to end up in the principal’s office. She hid her smile. Their friendship had grown since that week in detention, and the times she’d been at his house outside of school.
“Go ahead. I’m listening.” She crossed her arms over the paperwork and looked at him.
“My dad’s mad at me.”
She knew that. “Yeah. I think he has a pretty good reason.”
“Yeah.” Ryan sat quietly for a while. “I know you and my dad really like each other. And I like that—it’s just, weird, you know.”
“I understand that.” It was weird for her, too. “Is there something you need, Ryan?”
“When dad was mad at me—you know, before—Mom used to talk to him, and you know, explain things.”
Addie stared at Ryan, a bit worried about what he was asking. “You want me to talk to your dad so you don’t get in trouble for what you did?”
“No. Well, yeah, sort of. I want you to make him feel better. He’s happier when you’re around. I know you’ve been avoiding him because of, well, because Dex has a big mouth.” He leaned forward. “If he’s happier with you, he won’t be as unhappy with me.”
She sat back, enjoying the idea that Marcus was happier when she was around, but uncomfortable with Ryan thinking she could be involved in his relationship with his father.
“Do you understand exactly what you’re in trouble for?” She knew what Marcus thought. She was curious what Ryan thought he did.
He looked at his feet, reminding her of that first day when he’d refused to talk to her about the fight. He wasn’t telling her everything. “I sorta lied to him.”
“Uh-huh.” She sat for a long minute, wondering how much she should push him. “And what did you lie to him about?” she asked, though she already knew.
“I didn’t tell him Dex and I were going someplace else,” he whispered.
“Why did you do that?”
Ryan tapped his foot. “I’m thirteen. And I know that because of Mom, he’s—”
“He’s what?” she prompted.
“He won’t even let me stay home alone. He hovers. He checks on me. He doesn’t trust me.”
“Oh, Ryan. I don’t think that’s it.” There was more, but Ryan wasn’t sharing. Would he share if she talked to Marcus for him? Would she learn more?
What a mess. And a possible solution. Giving Ryan more freedom would give her a better chance at being with Marcus.
Suddenly, she figured out why it was a bad idea to date a student’s parent. A little late now.
* * *
ADDIE CALLED MARCUS later that night. She’d debated about going to his house, about asking him to meet her at the coffee shop, but those were places her heart reserved for them. This was about Ryan.
She dialed and waited. He was in the middle of finals, so she knew he was busy. He’d had one hell of a week, and she hated adding to it.
“Hello?” His voice slid over her ear, and she shivered. He sounded relaxed compared with the pain and panic she’d heard yesterday. And he sounded tired.
“Hey, how are you?”
“Tired. Exhausted, actually.” She heard him take a deep breath. “Better now that I’m talking to you.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “Me, too. I was wondering. Would you and Ryan like to come to dinner Friday night? You’ve cooked for me. And my family loved the gifts. Thanks for suggesting it.”
“You’re welcome. You don’t have to make us dinner, though.”
“I don’t have to. I want to.” And she did. She wanted to see him. Wanted to spend time with him. Normal time.
“I’m not going to turn down free food, if you’re worried about that,” he said. “What time?”
“Six?”
“Perfect. We can celebrate the end of finals.” The relief was thick in his voice.
“Great.”
“And Addie?” His voice had dropped an octave.
“Yes?”
He was silent for a long minute. “I—” He cleared his throat. “Thanks. We’ll be there at six sharp.”
Why did she get the feeling that wasn’t what he was going to say at first? She frowned, then shook her head. “Six sharp,” she repeated. “Night, Marcus,” she whispered.
“Night.” He ended the call, and she stared at the phone for a long time afterward. She shivered, not sure if she was doing the right thing.
Ryan’s request hung unspoken in the air. Was she overstepping her bounds? Was this too big of a risk to this new relationship? Maybe she shouldn’t say anything.
She set her phone down. She had until Friday to figure it out.
By the end of the week, she had no better idea of what she was going to do. She focused instead on her cooking.
Between visiting her grandfather’s ranch as a child and being the oldest of six, she’d learned the value of skills like canning, gardening and using fresh food to prepare meals. Oh, she wasn’t nearly as good at cooking as her mother, or as Tara, but she could make a good home-cooked meal.
So why was she so nervous? She’d made this recipe dozens of times. Her siblings had always enjoyed it.
This wasn’t her family, though. This was Ryan and Marcus. This was their first impression of her life. This was important.
Putting the lid on the pot, she took a deep breath. Letting the aroma of the minestrone fill her, she relaxed a little. Then, putting the fresh loaf of French bread into the oven, she savored that scent, as well. Her tight muscles eased.
Setting the timer, she stepped back and relaxed. It would be perfect. She’d done her best, and that was all she could ask. That’s what she told the kids, and what she lived by. She just needed to remind herself once in a while.
The doorbell rang, and every nerve she’d just relaxed jumped to attention.
She took one last glance in the mirror before pulling the door open. There they were. The man and the boy who meant so much to her. She swallowed. “Come in.”
“Something smells delicious.” Marcus smiled. He handed her a box. She looked inside. Cheesecake. “Hope this goes well with that.”
“We’ll make it work if it doesn’t.” She led the way into the kitchen. “You’re just in time. Another ten minutes and we can eat.” She set the cheesecake on the counter.
She turned to Ryan, who’d quietly followed them in. “How was your day today?”
He shrugged, something she’d discovered he did frequently. “Had a test in algebra.” He frowned. “Did okay, I guess.” She met Marcus’s gaze.
“What would you like to drink?” she asked Ryan. “You can help yourself to anything in the fridge.”
Decisions made, she put the finishing touches on the table. The timer went off, and she reached for the hot pads to pull out the crusty bread. Just like her mother had done, she rubbed the top with the butter. It glistened in the dim light, the yeasty steam filling the air around them.
“I hope that tastes as good as it looks and smells.”
Marcus was there, just inches away, his body heat nearly as warm as what poured off the fresh loaf of bread.
“I—uh—hope so, too,” she said, breathily, having trouble breathing with him so close. Their eyes met. Time stopped, and she didn’t ever want to look away.
“Ahem.” Ryan’s voice broke through her thoughts. Hopefully, Marcus would think the flush on her cheeks was attributed to the warm oven.
Hastily, she put the bread on a board and handed it to Marcus along with a knife. She turned away and focused on serving up the soup while he took the bread to the table. She racked her brain for something else to discuss, to think about besides Marcus’s proximity.
“Oh, I’d like to invite you both to my brother’s ranch the week after next for a barbecue.” She sat in her seat, trying not to enjoy their company too much. “The whole county is coming. It’s a retirement party for our ranch manager.”
“That’d be fun.” Ryan dug into his soup.
“I guess.” Marcus didn’t look nearly as convinced. She bit her lip. He’d be meeting her whole family.
“Wyatt has lots of horses.” She looked pointedly at Ryan. “Might be a better way for you to see some.”
“Uh, yeah.” Ryan looked away.
This time when she looked at Marcus, he was grinning at his son. “I think we can make it.”
Relief washed over her. One mission accomplished.
* * *
ADDIE WAS NERVOUS. He’d never seen her like this before. What was the matter? Was it just the invitation, and prospect of his meeting her family? Or something else?
If Ryan hadn’t been there, he’d have asked her straight out. Hell, whom was he kidding? If Ryan weren’t here, they wouldn’t be doing much talking at all.
Instead, he enjoyed the delicious food and watching her. At least one appetite was being satisfied.
Finally full, Marcus pushed his empty plate away. “That was delicious, Addie.” He enjoyed the way her cheeks tinted pink.
“Thank you.”
“Yeah, it’s really good.” Ryan was finishing his second helping. Marcus still hadn’t figured out where his skinny son put all the food he ate. He remembered being like that at that age, though.
“I’m glad you liked it. I enjoyed cooking something for more than one person.”
She didn’t get up and rush around to start cleaning up dishes, which he was thankful for. He liked to enjoy his food before the chores started. He’d never understood his mother, and later Carolyn, jumping up before everyone was even finished.
“Since we’re all here.” Addie squared her shoulders and looked at Ryan as he finished his last bite. “I thought maybe we should talk.”
Uh-oh. What was going on? He glanced at his son, who looked just as surprised as he felt.
“Now?” Ryan’s voice squeaked.
“Yes, now. And we’re all going to discuss it.” She wiped her mouth daintily with her napkin, then took a sip of her water.
“Uh.” Ryan gulped that last bite, his gaze darting to Marcus.
“What’s going on?” Marcus didn’t like the feeling he was on the outside.
Ryan just stared at him. Marcus looked at Addie. Her lips were pursed, and she frowned. “Okay, I’ll start.” She looked at Ryan.
“I’m not really a part of your family,” she said. “But Ryan asked me to talk to you about something. I think he should discuss it with you himself.”
“But—”
“This is the best way, Ryan.” She told him. “Open honesty. It’s the best way to deal with a problem. You’ve heard me say it at school, right?”
“Yeah,” he begrudgingly admitted. Still, he stalled, taking a drink of his water and taking time to fold his napkin beside his plate.
“Would someone please share with me what’s going on?” Marcus tried to be patient, really he did.
Ryan followed Addie’s example and squared his shoulders, looking at Addie for encouragement. She nodded, and he faced Marcus.
“I wanted her to talk to you about the other day, when...when I, uh, lied about where I was going.” He swallowed. “I’m sorry I lied, and I won’t do it again.”
Marcus waited. He was proud of Ryan for doing this, and he realized this was an important step for him. He’d listen to everything he had to say, not argue with him. His father had never listened, and he knew how hard that was. He’d always sworn to be different.
“But—” Ryan glanced at Addie, then back at Marcus. “But I did it, partly, ’cause you don’t seem to think I can do things on my own.”
This time Marcus looked at Addie. Her expression clearly told him to listen to his son. He tried. He really tried.
“Like what?” Marcus asked. “Give me an example.”
“Well—” Ryan swallowed. “You’re always there. I can stay by myself sometimes. I promise I won’t trash the house or ruin anything. I’ll do just like I do when you’re there.”
It sounded like Ryan didn’t think Marcus trusted him. Marcus stared. Then cleared his throat. “I trust you, Ryan.” He leaned forward, making sure his son could read the sincerity in his voice. “I’m—” He had to clear his throat again. “I guess, I—” Damn this was harder than he’d expected. “Since we lost your mom, I guess, I’m just a little overprotective, huh?” How did he explain that the idea of anything happening to Ryan gave Marcus nightmares?
“A little.”
Marcus laughed. “And by that, I gather you mean a lot.” He reached over and squeezed his son’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. Guess you’re growing up.” He swallowed. “Is it enough if I say I’ll try to do better?”
Ryan nodded and smiled, his relief as strong as what Marcus felt.
“But promise me one thing.”
Ryan frowned. “Uh, sure.”
“I’ll promise to try to be more lenient and open, if you promise to tell me what you want, and not lie to me. Sound fair?”
“Sounds fair.” Ryan nodded and smiled at Addie. “Thanks, Addie.”
“You’re welcome.” Now she got up and started doing the dishes. She didn’t look at him, but he’d seen the smile she’d sent Ryan. Her pride was clear. She cared about Ryan, and he seemed to trust and care about her in return.
“So, to test this.” Ryan stood and carried his plate to the sink. “How about I go home now? On my own. You can come home, uh, later.”
Marcus stared at his son, not sure what was up, and pretty sure this part was a setup. Addie stared at them both, her beautiful wide eyes made the decision for him.
He reached into his pocket and handed Ryan the house keys. “I’ll be home in an hour.” At Ryan’s frown, he said, “Baby steps, son. Give me time, okay?”
Ryan nodded and smiled. “See ya’ later.” Then he was gone.
Marcus looked at Addie.
And they were alone.