The songs, stories, and visiting ended shortly after nine o’clock, at which time Sylvia, Cora, Cynthia, and Laura spread pallets on the floor for the children.
“Timmy, Christine, do you want to come to our room?” Madison invited.
“No,” the boy answered. “Everyone would laugh at us. Besides, I think it will be fun to be down here with all the other kids.”
“What about you, Christine?”
“I want to stay with my new best friend,” she said.
Madison smiled. “And who would that be?”
“Emma is my best friend in the whole world.”
“Oh? What about Lauren? Don’t you think she might be upset if she thinks she isn’t your best friend anymore?”
“She’s my best friend too,” Christine said. “Lauren and Emma are both my best friends.”
“That’s dumb,” Timmy said. “You can’t have two best friends.”
“Yes, you can, if your heart is big enough,” Christine insisted. “Mama loves Daddy, you, and me all the same because her heart is big enough. Isn’t that true, Mama?”
Madison hesitated for a moment. Looking across the room, she saw T. J. talking to Angus MacLeod.
“Isn’t that true, Mama?” Christine asked again.
“Yes, darling, that’s true,” Madison said.
“See there?” The girl turned triumphantly to her brother. “Mama said I can too have two best friends. So, may I stay down here, Mama?”
“Yes, if you want to.”
“I’m going to go make sure my bed is close to Emma’s.” Christine ran happily to find her friend, almost knocking Timmy over as she went.
“Mom, are you and Dad having fun?” Timmy asked.
Madison was surprised and somewhat disconcerted by Timmy’s question. She looked down at him standing there, his face upturned. “What?” she replied.
“It doesn’t seem like you and Dad . .. well, you know . . . you don’t seem like you ever have much fun anymore. I just wanted to know if you are having fun now.”
“Well, sweetheart, the important thing is for you and Christine to have fun. Christmas is supposed to be for children, not adults.”
“But isn’t Jesus for adults?” Timmy asked.
“Yes, of course.”
“Then that means Christmas is for everybody, doesn’t it?”
“You’re right, son. Christmas is for everyone.”
“Do you know what I want for Christmas, more than any other thing?”
Madison chuckled. “Oh my, it’s Christmas Eve already. Don’t you think it’s a little late to be adding to your wish list?”
“Not if you are asking God for it. It’s never too late to ask God for something, is it?”
Madison was taken aback. The family so rarely went to church these days; they had drifted away over the past couple of years. But he must be listening and learning a lot at school. She was happy about that, but felt guilty at the same time. Shouldn’t the parents be the first and best Christian teachers, by word and example?
“No, honey, it’s never too late to ask God for something. What are you asking for?”
“I’m asking Him to make this the best Christmas you and Dad have ever had.”
“Well, sweetheart, any Christmas that we’re with you and Christine is a wonderful Christmas.”
“No, Mom, I don’t mean with Christine and me. I mean you and Dad. Together. Are you having a good time?”
“Yes, dear. We are having a good time.”
Timmy smiled broadly. “I’m glad. Now I’m going to go find Dermott.”
Grateful for the change of subject, Madison tried to lighten the moment. “Is Dermott your new best friend?”
Timmy laughed and wrinkled his nose. “He’s not my ‘best’ friend, but I like him. He’s really neat, Mom. He can do more things than just about anybody I know. Did you know he can stand on his hands?”
“Well now, that’s quite an accomplishment, isn’t it?”
“It sure is. Nobody in my class can do it. I’ll bet nobody in all of Belle Meade Academy can do that.”
“Well, you have a good time with your friends tonight,” Madison said. “Don’t get into any trouble, and keep an eye on Christine. She’s your little sister, and I’m depending on you to watch out for her.”
“Okay,” Timmy said, hurrying across the room to find Dermott.
Madison grew pensive as she stood there alone. Did Timmy suspect the real reason for their coming here for Christmas? Did he know what Madison and T. J. were considering? They had been very careful not to say anything in front of the children, but she knew that kids were smart, and much more intuitive than adults generally gave them credit for.
She wished now that Timmy had not shared his Christmas wish, or more accurately, his Christmas prayer with her. It was going to make what had to be done much harder to carry out.
Then she caught herself and thought: What has to be done? Why does it have to be this way?
T. J. came up to her then. “You look lost in thought,” he said.
“Oh, I, uh, was just talking with the kids.”
“Are they satisfied with the sleeping arrangements?”
“More than satisfied. They’re absolutely insistent. What were you talking to Mr. MacLeod about?”
“I asked if he would take me back to the car so I could get the kids’ presents.”
“Oh, T. J., no! You left the kids’ presents in the car?”
“Yes. I’m sorry. It’s just, well, with everything that was going on, I forgot.”
“I don’t know why I’m blaming you; I didn’t think about it either. Well, what did Mr. MacLeod say? Will he take you back to the car?”
“He said he would, but he also told me that none of the guests ever bring presents. It seems that Judge Ragsdale and his wife have a history of providing gifts for all the children.”
“Oh, but that’s not right. He shouldn’t have to do that. At least, not unless we pay him for them.”
“I suggested that too, but Mr. MacLeod said that if I did that, the judge would be offended. Evidently a very big part of the judge’s enjoyment at Christmas comes from giving gifts to the children.”
“Well, that’s very sweet of him.”
“Anyway, I don’t think they are going to be all that expensive. I mean, he’s not likely to give a laptop or a DVD player, now is he?”
Madison smiled at his gentle sarcasm. This was the T. J. she knew—and loved? “I wouldn’t think so.”
“And that’s another reason I think I’ll just let things stand as they are. If we gave them their presents here, what they got would be vastly different from what the other children are getting. I think they might be embarrassed.”
“You mean as in, ‘Look at that woman. My word, she’s wearing trousers.’ Is that the kind of embarrassment you’re talking about?”
“Yeah, something like that,” T. J. said with a chuckle.
Madison looked around the room then and saw that all the adults had left, as well as the children. “What time is it? Nobody seems to be around down here.”
T. J. looked at his watch. “Why, no wonder,” he said. “It’s a quarter till ten. Excuse me. In keeping with the theme, perhaps I should say it lacks fifteen minutes of ten.”
Madison laughed. “And we’re still up? My, doesn’t that make us night owls?”
T. J. smiled. “Obviously, the only night owls.”
The keeping room had been darkened by the extinguishing of candles and lanterns. The only light now was the flickering orange of the still-burning Yule log. From the pallet area could be heard the whispers and giggles of the children as they settled in for the night.
When T. J. and Madison went upstairs, they found their room to be much colder than it had been down in the parlor. But with the wood already laid, it took only a few minutes to get a fire going. Alongside the fireplace stood a scuttle filled with more wood to replenish the fire as necessary. There was also a wedge-shaped piece of metal, attached to the end of a long pole.
“I wonder what that strange-looking contraption is,” T. J. said.
“It’s a bed warmer,” Madison explained. “You heat this thing up, then you pass it under the covers until the sheets and blankets are warm.”
“I’ll be doggoned, I think you’re right,” T. J. said as he studied it closely.
“I know I’m right. And if you’d go into an antique store now and then, you would know what it is too.”
“I hate shopping.”
“You hate shopping? Now, there’s a revelation. On those rare occasions when I’ve managed to get you into a mall, you’ve had the expression of someone who was wearing a hair shirt.”
“You think this thing really works?” He picked up the bed warmer again.
“I’m sure it does. They wouldn’t have made so many of them if they didn’t work.”
“Okay, what do you say I warm the bed up for you?” He held the warmer out over the fire.
“What do you mean, warm the bed for me? You don’t need it warmed?”
“Well, I thought . . . uh, under the circumstances, I thought I’d pull the chair up next to the fireplace and sleep there tonight.”
“Oh, don’t be silly, T. J. You won’t get any rest sleeping in a chair.”
“I can try,” T. J. said. “As you pointed out, this is just a double bed, and not even a very large one at that. It might be difficult for us.”
“I’m sure we can handle it.”
She watched as T. J. held the warmer over the fire, studying the expression on his face, trying again to determine what he was thinking about.
“T. J.?”
“Yes?”
Madison drew a deep breath. She was about to tell him about Timmy’s Christmas wish, but couldn’t find the courage. Instead she said, “I think it’s warm enough now.”
T. J. passed the bed warmer under the covers until the chill had been taken out, then he and Madison climbed into bed. They lay with their backs to each other, clinging to the edges and making every effort not to invade each other’s space.
“Good night,” T. J. said.
“Good night.”
T. J. lay there, watching the fire shadows dance on the wall. I wonder if I should kiss her good night? I mean, I did kiss her under the mistletoe today. It wouldn’t mean anything, just a little symbol of goodwill between us. But I’m afraid it would just make things more difficult.
On her side of the bed, Madison stared through the window. Just outside their room was a towering pine tree, its boughs, like the boughs of all the other trees, laden with snow. The snow shimmered under the full moon, so that the tree was glowing, as if from some inner light. I wonder if he’s thinking of kissing me good night? A kiss would be nice, but it could also be misleading.
The two of them lay stiffly in bed, struggling with the doubts that tumbled through their heads. In the fireplace, the burning wood popped and snapped. Outside their window, the boughs of the tree creaked and groaned under the weight of the snow. From somewhere nearby, an owl hooted.