“The experience of this sweet life.”
― Dante Alighieri
I stared at the empty space ahead, trying to put my answer together. Two days ago I had lost my head, and today I was standing around other people, acting like my addiction wasn’t real. Ricky wanted to make sure that I could cope. He pushed me to keep going, to keep solving cases, to live. He was supportive and I was lucky to have him; however, that didn’t stop me thinking about the moment when everything changed.
“Your Highness, I don’t think it’s a good idea. You’re vulnerable. It’s an open space and we both know that we shouldn’t be here without at least two more guards,” I said, wondering if this was the day when I was going to lose my well-paid job. Arthur was getting on my nerves, driving through narrow country roads. He woke me up early in the morning and a told me that he had to be somewhere very important. I had my own responsibilities for the day, and he had his personal driver.
It’d been a couple of weeks since I shook hands with him on the corridor in Buckingham Palace. The roller coaster ride started when he asked me to accompany him to an underground party in one of the clubs in the city several days later, when I was still trying to learn the whole protocol. I was slowly getting used to the fact that Arthur wasn’t one of the most responsible royals in the palace.
He was going on a tour to Afghanistan in a couple of months, and I had a feeling that he was hoping to have some fun before his freedom was taken away from him. Either way I was responsible for his safety and quite frankly fed up with being put in these kinds of situations. I kept ignoring the spark that sizzled between us over the past few weeks. I kept dismissing the fact that he flirted with me on any given occasion, that I enjoyed his charisma, laugh, and his impulsive character.
“Stop with the ‘Your Highness’ stuff, Max. Just call me Arthur or I swear to God, I’ll leave you here in the middle of nowhere,” he said, driving his four-by-four like a maniac.
I smiled to myself, feeling the familiar butterflies in my stomach. This was completely absurd; I had never developed a sweet spot for a client. Men, especially human men, were foreign to me. Arthur was different; he made me laugh and calmed my demonic soul; he made me forget that I was only a pathetic mongrel.
“Okay, Arthur, just turn around. We’re breaking protocol and if something happens, I’ll be in trouble,” I pressed, gently letting him know that I was in charge. This new life forced me to see things from another perspective. Maxine Brodeur was now part of the Royal Court. That other darker life was pushed aside. Now other people came first.
Arthur turned to look at me, his blue eyes drifting over my face, down my body, suddenly making my heart beat wildly in my chest. The cook and other staff in the palace kept saying that one of his second cousins, Natalie, was going to be his wife. The Queen Mother wanted to keep the bloodlines pure by keeping it in the family.
He laughed, stopped the car abruptly a moment, and placed his hand on my thigh.
“Come on, let’s go for a run, hottie. See if you can keep up with my amazing stamina,” he whispered leaning closer. His earthy cologne paralysed me for a moment. Arthur got out of the car and vanished behind the trees while I sat there in the same spot thinking about the way he touched me.
This was a very bad idea and I couldn’t predict if he was playing with my conscience or really going out for a run. His touch melted my insides, and I shouldn't feel this way about him. This was so wrong.
I started running, using my demonic abilities to track him down, worried that we might bump into someone who would recognise him. He was pumped with excitement, ready to have a real race with me. The flirting and small gifts and trips away, it was just a game, nothing else. Arthur wasn’t planning to seduce me. We were getting on and had similar interests, but that didn’t mean anything. Any scandal was unnecessary and I was enjoying myself too much to get fired after I started to adjust to my new life. On top of that, the faction kept an eye on royals, and I didn’t need to get in trouble with them too.
“Arthur, this isn’t funny. I’ll kick your arse if I catch you,” I shouted, feeling him nearby, sensing his wild excitement.
He laughed, then sped past me several meters away. He was thinking about his trip abroad in a couple of months’ time; he knew he had to pick up his training, that he wasn’t quite ready yet. I shouldn’t have been in his head, knowing that he was hard thinking about my sexy arse and toned body.
God, I really had to start blocking his emotions away. I needed to stop to regroup my energy, to tell myself that I had read him wrong. He couldn’t have been thinking about me in any sexual manner. I was no one, just his security guard.
“Gotchya!”
A split second later, the strong body knocked me down and we both fell on the ground. I was lying flat with the future king of the United Kingdom on top of me and, oh boy, my whole soul lightened instantly.
Indeed, he was hard and I was aware of every single part of his body pressed over mine. His eyes met mine and I was lost quickly with the lust that pushed me to the edge, igniting a fire deep in the pit of my stomach.
“How are you, Flower? You should be glad that I’m not making you run further. I know that you’re quite fit as it is,” he said, with that husky, seductive voice. Heat blossomed across my cheeks, stirring around me, making tiny beads of sweat break out across my skin.
“I’m fine,” I breathed out, trying to keep still.
“Ask me anything, Maxine. This is your chance,” he added, touching my cheek.
“I don’t need to know anything. I’m here to make sure that you’re safe.”
He laughed.
“That’s why I like you, because you’re always honest, don't play any games. The other guys were always so bloody fake,” he muttered.
I waited then, not able to take my eyes off his fully kissable lips. I shook my head dispelling those hopeless thoughts and desires. The tiny voice inside urged me to stay away, tell him no. This was going to get me into so much trouble.
“Deep down, I just want to be a normal guy that can walk around the park without getting harassed by paps. The guy that wants to live his own life without other people telling him what to do,” he said, leaning over and whispering his confession in my ear. “I want to have a family, kids. A wife that won’t have to worry about getting stalked every step of the way, happy children that won’t have a mad life because of who they are.”
I liked listening to his smooth voice, his dreams. For the first time someone other than a demon had noticed me. It was never simple to build relationships with other humans, especially men. When I was with Arthur these barriers didn’t exist. He treated me as an equal.
“That’s not unreasonable. Everyone wants to feel normal,” I whispered back, not able to get my heart under control.
“And if I could have that life and choose my own wife, then I’d choose you,” he said lowering his eyes, his lashes fanning his cheeks.
His lips brushed the corner of mine. The kiss was tentative at first, but it grew hotter. I wanted to break it before this whole thing went too far, but I was lost, indulged with something beyond amazing.
Arthur’s kisses were spontaneous, warm and gentle. We were lying on the ground, tangled in each other’s arms and legs. My body stopped listening to my stupid head. Arthur cradled my face then, intensifying the pressure of his lips, and my energy sparkled to life. Within a few moments I’d forgotten about my responsibilities and continued making out with him.
The kiss ended, and when I opened my eyes, my chest kept rising and falling rapidly. Arthur’s eyes were gleaming with heat, and he wasn’t thinking about his family anymore. I could read in his thoughts that he wanted to rip my clothes off and have sex with me. He kept telling himself that it wasn’t just a playful game, that he really wanted me.
“Let’s run away together, Flower,” he suggested, keeping my chin in place so I couldn’t stop looking at him.
“Maxine, hey, are you even listening to me?” Ricky’s stern voice brought me back to the real world. Suddenly I was aware that I wasn’t in the forest anymore, but back in gloomy reality. What was the point remembering that I was happy before? The future could be bright if I could just stop dwelling on what I had lost.
I rubbed my face, staring as the children ran around in the circle. The garden needed some landscaping, but the kids didn’t seem to care. They were so excited and happy. Suzi was in the middle of the circle, bouncing and screaming.
“I’ll be fine, Ricky,” I said, clearing my throat. “You worry about me too much.”
The mums were chatting amongst themselves, watching their kids playing. Ricky didn’t need to know that my stomach was in knots, that my T-shirt was stuck to my back underneath my leather jacket. My stupid head couldn’t let go of its heavy emotional burden. I was glad when Emma called everyone for a cake. I could handle being around such a happy human for some time, but I wanted to go to the bar later, ease the pain with some tequila.
“Great, cake time, that means I can go home soon,” I said, walking over to the house with Ricky. He grabbed my elbow suddenly, stopping me from running away. His own energy was at ease, connecting with mine, trying to push all my fear away. He either got laid last night or he was excited about something else.
“Max, just don’t do anything stupid. Detective Zachary is a troubled man; you don’t need that kind of burden on your shoulders right now,” he warned me, like he knew exactly what happened between me and the detective a couple nights ago. “You have to stay focused on this case and move forward.”
Ricky must have sensed that I was slipping down, losing focus again. He was like family to me and he wanted to protect me. I needed to remember that Zachary was being influenced by another demon that wanted me to lose my focus in George’s case.
“I’ll be at work tomorrow, so don’t stress. I have it all under control,” I assured him, walking back to the kitchen. Emma gave me a piece of birthday cake, telling me about her daughter’s upcoming school trip. I stayed for another half hour, making a real effort to look like I was enjoying myself, then left.
Other mums watched when Suzi hugged me, thanking me for her presents. I patted her gently on the back, pushing my discomfort away.
I didn’t know how, but I managed to lose several hours of that day, although I recalled enjoying my time with little Suzi. Later on I remembered walking through the streets of London for some time after the party until I stopped at small bistro for food. There were days when I didn’t eat much at all, especially after a heavy drinking session. That evening I was moving through a fog unable to shake off the gloomy darkness that kept drifting over me.
Around eight o’clock I ended up in the bar, sitting at my usual seat having a chat with good old Paul. It was a busy night and I needed to drown in tequila to shut down the loud voices in my head.
“Ricky told me that you mustn’t play tonight,” Paul stated, reluctantly giving me the whole bottle of the precious liquid. Ricky knew that I wasn’t in the best of moods, but we had an agreement. I didn’t interfere with the way he ran our business and he didn’t interfere in my addiction.
“Ricky knows shit. I’m going to win. I have that feeling in my gut,” I said, grabbing the bottle and heading to the room at the back. Two Watchers, a warlock, and some demons were just getting ready to shuffle the cards. This was my doom; I had only a couple hundred on me, but my head needed to be straightened out.
“Right, boys, I’m in. Let’s get this party started,” I called out, taking a seat next to Devlin, who thought it was his lucky day, that he could outplay me again. Soon the poker rounds began rolling in and I drank. The pain was vanishing, the thoughts weren’t bothering me anymore. I started winning small sums at first, then gambled more, pushing my luck. It was all perfect until I saw Arthur standing on the other side of the bar watching me. Then everything went to shit.