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Early the next morning I woke on my side of the bed with Michael quietly sitting beside me.
“Did you sleep alright?” Michael murmured as his hand caressed my cheek.
I smiled and rolled over to stretch, enjoying the vision I had the pleasure of waking up to. “What time did you and Grace finally say good night?” I tried to remember what time I had fallen asleep.
“I came in here about twenty minutes ago actually. Grace is sitting out on the step writing a list of for us.”
“A list?” Humans wrote lists – list for groceries, lists for packing, and anything else we thought we might forget. Grace and Michael didn’t need to write lists, they remembered everything.
Michael rolled his eyes. “It’s a list of topics for us to discuss on the road so we don’t get bored. I think she’s also making up some road games for us to play.” He was trying not laugh, speaking quietly so Grace wouldn’t hear him.
I smiled at the thought of Grace drumming a pencil to a pad of paper as she tried to come up with ideas for us. It was her way of being in the car without doing the road trip. “It sounds like a great idea. Grace is awesome!” I said it loud so she would hear. I winked at Michael. I jumped out of the bed and headed towards the bathroom before he could make a comment.
I used to have short showers while living with my foster parents, just one of their endless attempts to suck any form of joy out of my life; and oddly enough, even though I now lived pretty much in the lap of luxury, the short shower routine had still stuck with me. However, today I spent extra time enjoying the hot water. I had no idea if we were driving straight through or staying in hotels along the way, so no way of knowing when I might next have the pleasure of a hot shower. I had left all the travel planning to Michael, so I could concentrate on school. After the shower, I dressed in a pair of thin pants and a red tank top, figuring comfort on the road was more important than looking fashionable. Besides, what did I know about looking fashionable? I blow-dried my hair as quickly as I could and threw on some mascara, my only real concession to my more “girly” inclinations.
Dressed and ready, I headed to pack a few last things into my backpack. On the coffee table, sat a Starbucks latte. I offered a thank you to whichever caring soul had sought to sooth my need for caffeine.
Grace came strolling in with her list, tossing it onto the table as she sat down.
“Are you all packed?” she asked.
“Pretty much. I was thinking I should fill a cooler with some food.”
“Good idea. Michael gets crabby if he doesn’t snack.” She watched me a few moments, inhaling a sharp breath when I picked up the wolf book and my journal.
“Everything okay?”
She shifted in her seat. “With me or with you?”
I gave her a questioning look, trying to stuff my defensiveness back into its black hole in my head. I was getting tired of all the weird questioning from the Thompson family. It wasn’t Grace’s fault, but I couldn’t stop myself. “I’m totally fine. Great in fact! What’s your problem?” I hated the irritation in my voice but didn’t apologize.
Grace stood, crossing her arms over her chest. “Michael told me about the wolf book. You can read another part again? How do you feel?” She tapped her back, referring to my birthmark. “Do you feel any different?”
I zipped up my backpack roughly. “Did you say something to Michael?”
Grace shook her head.
I sighed. “Sorry. I just... I don’t know. I’m anxious about the book, about travelling and what we are going to find out. Caleb’s irritated with me. It seems Michael’s annoyed. I just want things to be normal.”
“Normal? That flew out the window a long time ago.”
“Doesn’t mean a girl can’t dream.”
Grace laughed. “You’re going to be okay. Michael’s with you.” She hugged me, squeezing me tight. “I’m a phone call away if you need me. Remember that.” She leaned in and whispered, as if afraid someone might hear, “Just don’t keep too many secrets. They weigh you down.”
Didn’t she realize? That was why I was going. I hoped to find some answers. “I’ll miss you.”
“Me, too.” Grace let go of me just as Michael came through the door. “Call me.”
“I will.”
“Or I’ll bug Michael and use him as a phone.” She ruffled her brother’s hair as she ran by him. “Chat soon, big bro.”
Michael watched her go with wide eyes. “What’d I do now?”
“Nothing!” she called back, nearly at the house.
He shook his head and turned to me and grinned. “You ready?”
“Almost. Just want to empty the fridge into a cooler for us.”
Michael had the back of the Jeep packed and organized by the time I had finished the kitchen and tidied the pool house. While he left to load the cooler into the Jeep, I had one last walk around. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of change, the feeling that had been missing during graduation. It bothered me that I was so apprehensive about the future and that I would miss this place so much; that the next time I came back here things would be very different. I was worried the cloud I felt over my head wasn’t just common, every-day bad luck, but more a sense of doom about what I would learn about myself. All I wanted was answers. How could that leave me with such a sense of foreboding?
Michael came back to the pool house, to find me standing at the entrance. He stood silently beside me for a few moments, and then put his cool hand into mine. “Rouge, whatever happens, whatever you learn, it’s the past. It’s not who you are right now, who you spent the last eighteen years discovering. It isn’t going to change who you are inside. You’ll still be you – the girl who I love, and who, strangely enough, just happens to know how to talk to wolves.” He squeezed my hand and led me outside.
We walked around to the front of the house where the Jeep sat parked beside Grace’s little Beetle.
Sarah was waiting by the cars for us. She came over the moment she saw us. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.” She hugged me and said nothing more. She waved to Michael.
“Thanks, we’ll see you soon and let you know if we find anything.”
She nodded and headed inside.
I went around to the passenger’s side of the jeep. Caleb stood leaning against the door. I had hoped he wouldn’t be around to see us off, but there was no avoiding him now.
“Hello Caleb,” I said trying to appear indifferent.
I stood awkwardly, not sure what to say or do when he didn’t reply.
Michael broke the silence, “Caleb, I’ll see you in a week.”
A week? Hadn’t we planned to be away for three or four weeks?
Caleb nodded and moved to open the door for me. “Let me know if you learn anything important from the book. If you are able to figure out a way to decode it, have Michael call me. I’m sure whatever you learn will help us—I mean you, it will help you.” He leaned over to speak directly to Michael already inside the Jeep. “Watch yourself. I’ll send Seth, just say the word.
That set off my internal alarm bells. Something was up. And it had nothing to do with me. I resolved to get answers out of Michael as soon as we were on our way.
He closed my door and walked toward the house. It was June and he still wore a long tan coat, its tails flapping in the wind behind him. He still had the presence of a seventeenth century lord and often dressed the part. The interesting bit was that it suited him and made him look very classy, instead of ridiculous. I hated myself for being fascinated and terrified of him at the same time.
Michael started the Jeep and drove down the driveway towards the road. He handed me the GPS. “I put some maps under your seat if you want to follow them.”
“What’s Caleb concerned about? Has there been any trouble?” I watched his face, searching for some clue to show he might be hiding something. “The wolf kind?”
Michael looked at me and then turned his eyes back on the road. “There have been a few problems along the south-east coast. It seems that there is a pack of wolves that have been attacking a number of cities. They are obviously looking for something or someone, but Caleb, I mean the Higher Coven, is unsure of what, or who. It is nothing to worry about, as a few scouts have been sent out to try and determine what the problem is. It has nothing to do with us.”
By the carefully neutral tone of his voice, I immediately knew it was a much bigger deal than he was making it out to be, but I didn’t push him to tell me more. We had a long drive ahead of us. He’d talk about it when he was ready.
As we pulled onto the highway and drove away from Port Coquitlam, Michael began to talk. “Did you read any of the Bentos’ journal last night?”
I leaned over the seat and grabbed my backpack. Pulling the Wolf book out, I set it on my lap. “I did. Let me read it to you.” I read the passage I had read last night out loud. When I was done, I sat quietly for a moment, waiting for some reaction. When none came, I asked, “What do you think of him?”
“Madman. He was evil the day I met him. All he wanted was power and control. That wasn’t something learned. It sounds like he was like that since he could think and reason.” He took one hand off the wheel to squeeze mine. “You may have his gift, but everything else in you was given to you by your mother.”
I wanted so desperately to believe him. However, there was a part of me, hidden deep inside, that screamed for that power that Bentos had written about. I had spent so much of my life powerless to control what happened to me, like Bentos had. I feared that it might one day consume me as it had done to Bentos, and then, I would be no better than him. The only thing I had that Bentos had lacked, was love. Michael had shown me how to love, and how to be loved. Whatever was going to happen, he would never leave me. Bentos had no understanding of that concept.
We headed down the main highway that would take us out of the State, on our route towards the east. I slid the Wolf Book under the seat and pulled out my journal so I could write.
Note to Self:
Michael and I have started our journey across the country back to where I assume I was born. It seems a lifetime ago that I lived in Niagara Falls, and that I was so angry about leaving. Amazing how things can change when your eyes are opened. Aside from this year, I feel like I have spent the rest of my 18 years inside a dark cloud, never looking towards the sun. Words cannot express how I feel about Michael; he has brought life back into this dead body. I AM ALIVE NOW!
I read the first entry in Bentos’ journal. He’s a terrible person. I’m scared I may become like him. He talks of the hatred inside of him for the wolf and I understand that feeling. I feel it deep inside of me, like a burn that is a fire trying to break through. I have tried to forget and avoid thinking about it since that awful day in January when it started. I’ve pretended it didn’t happen for the past six month. I’m tired of pretending. I want those beasts out of my life!
I’m terrified it is going to consume and change who I am. It’s just too much to worry about right now, so I just want to get to Niagara Falls, find out what I can about my past and get some closure. Maybe by getting these answers, I’ll gain some insight or some kind of tool, to help me keep control of myself, to make sure that dark part of me never sees the light of day.
I wonder if either of my parents know that I’m still alive. If they are, do they care? What became of them? I’m 18 now so my records are no longer sealed. I’ll be able to find out their names, and then find out where they live. It’s both an exciting and a terrifying thought.
Rouge
