| |
"She's not doing anything with it. People get sick and they get over it." Joshua's tone was mean, which matched the expression on his face as he moved up beside me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I started to pull away, but couldn't. Whether it was the fact that he saved my life, was my mate or was the Alpha of the pack that I had started to become part of... I didn't know.
"She's going to do whatever the hell she wants to do." Grace moved toward us, her eyes shifting from caring to brilliant Sapphire.
"Hunter," someone behind me yelled and the ground trembled as the guys milling about jogged to stand behind Joshua.
Rob moved between me and Grace as I carefully pulled from Joshua and turned to face him, lifting my hand and pressing against his chest softly. Treading on thin ice might be less deadly than the situation we stood in the middle of. "Hey... back down, okay? Grace is my best friend and is very important to me."
"I don't like her being here." He stared over my shoulder for another minute before shifting his bright amber eyes down toward me. His expression softened.
I swallowed hard, seeing the truth of his attention in his gaze. He loved me. Not because of anything more than something deep inside of him that believed us to belong together. I turned to face my brother and Grace.
"It's okay. Let's go to the house and we can talk." I motioned for Rob to take her with him. He didn't hesitate, but she did.
The news about Michael pierced my soul and left me weak, but now wasn't the time. I needed to diffuse the situation that Grace brought with her just by being a guardian. If the pack didn't trust me before, they certainly wouldn't now. I was sick because we were apart. I wasn’t dying. Just my heart thought I was.
"Did anyone else come with her, Jamie?" Joshua's voice was commanding and rough.
I turned and shook my head. "I don't think so. Tell them to back off, or I will."
A smile tugged at the side of his mouth, the challenge of me pressing against him seeming to excite him.
"She has until tomorrow to leave my lands. They are murderers of the innocent. I will not have her bringing death to my door. To our door." He reached out and touched my face, his eyes glassy as if he were far from me.
"I understand." I turned and walked to the house as he began commanding his guys to get back to work on preparing for summer. There were several concerns lifted behind me that didn't surprise me at all, but left me concerned for Grace's safety. I had about as much control over Joshua's Grollics as she did over Caleb's Hunters. Our lives had to stop intertwining like this. One of us would be dead due to it if not.
"There isn't much time," Grace grumbled, the sound of her voice reaching me as I paused just outside of the kitchen. I felt like crap for listening in on their conversation, but I couldn't help myself.
"I know that, and Jamie does too."
"She’s Rouge! Why do you insist on calling her Jamie?" The tension was thick between all of us and Grace and Rob weren't immune to it.
"Because that's her name! That’s what I knew her as growing up. She’ll always be Jamie to me. You and Michael want to force her into being something she's not. It's disturbing," he growled and some part of me wanted to barrel in and protect her, but he was protecting me.
"She’s a product of her environment as much as she is the creation of her DNA, Rob. You can't take a Grollic and raise them as a human, engulf them in Hunters, or guardians or whatever you call us, and expect her to act like a wolf!"
"I don't expect anything from her. That's where we are different."
"Clearly."
I walked into the kitchen and didn't look at either of them as I got a glass and filled it with cold water.
"Rouge, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." Grace started, but I lifted my hand to stop her.
"It's not your fault. I appreciate you coming." I took a long drink. "Tell me Michael's not as bad as you're making it sound. I can't handle the burden of thinking I did anything to him."
She nodded once. "He's not well, but he's still himself. He's fighting alongside Caleb and Sarah."
"Sarah has joined them?" I sat down at the table, my legs feeling too weak to hold me.
"Hold the phone. Who's Sarah?" Rob turned toward Grace, his eyebrow lifted.
"She's Caleb's wife. Keep up." Grace rolled her eyes and moved to the table.
"Be nice." I pinned her with a stare.
"Fine. I'm just stressed. You shouldn't be here. You belong with us. With Michael."
Her words were the truth, but she sat in his camp where I was concerned. They both thought themselves capable of taking care of me and yet their only purpose from what I gathered as of late was to find the seventh mark and kill it. How many of my other brother's had they killed before Rob?
Five and they'll kill him too.
Love blinded Michael where I was concerned, but Caleb wasn't created to break the rules and his willingness to do so for Michael's sake seemed to be expired.
So I ignored Grace's comment. "Sarah joined you guys in the fight? What fight? Have they found Bentos?"
"No. Just large packs of Grollics over Tennessee and Georgia." She glanced down at her nails as Rob growled beside her.
"How can you be okay with killing innocent people?"
"Animals," she growled back and turned to him.
The tension in the room rose tenfold and I felt my stomach contract again. "Stop it! I feel like I'm going to blow chunks again and I swear I'll aim it at both of you if you don't stop." I sat back and picked up my water. "Where’s Michael now?"
"He's beside Caleb. There's no way I could get him to come with me."
"Then he doesn't miss me like you said. He's fine." I shrugged, knowing the falseness of my words, but wishing they were true. I needed him to run from me, to hate me for my actions. I couldn't move on without it.
Grace let out an aggravated sigh as the door to the back of the house closed. "You're being ridiculous. You know how Caleb is."
"Yeah and I left to save all of you from this." I turned as Joshua walked into the house. He eyed Grace warily and walked to the sink, turning on the water and washing his hands.
"I'm asking you to come back." She pressed her arms to the table, not seeming to care that Joshua was behind her. The girl had a lot of nerve. I had to give her that.
"And what?" he asked, turning around and drying his hands as the focus shifted to him. "And fight alongside you and your brother to kill all of her people? Do you even hear yourself?"
"No. Yes. Hell, I don't know." She stood and slammed her hand on the table. "I'm sorry I came. I didn't know what else to do." She turned and walked out the front door as a soft sob left her.
I started to get up, but Rob stood.
"No. Stay here. I got this." He turned and walked out, leaving me in the kitchen with Joshua as emotions beat across me.
I needed to fix all of this, but I couldn't seem to hold on to anything, my heart hurt so badly I thought it had all but shattered in my chest and a dark shadow was following me around. Could anything else go wrong? "I have to fix this. Or I’ll end up destroying him." I glanced up at Joshua as he moved to sit beside me. I had meant to save Michael, not kill him.
He reached over and rubbed my shoulder, his touch feeling good, like the comfort of a friend. I closed my eyes and dropped my head into my hands.
"Then we go after your father and end this."
"Will it end after he's gone?" I glanced over at the handsome man beside me. Michael deserved better, but Joshua did too. He had done nothing but proven himself as one of the good guys in this fight.
"I don't know, baby, but we need to find out. History will tell you that Bentos built a stronghold not far from here. It's a full day trek, but only a few hours in the truck. Tell me when you're ready and we'll go together."
"No. I don't want you involved in this. This is my fight. Everyone keeps trying to fight it for me, but I need to figure out how to do this on my own."
"No, you don't." He moved closer, pulling me to him and kissing the side of my face.
Grace walked in and stopped cold, her expression killing me. It had to look like I had already moved on, that my relationship with Michael meant nothing.
"Rob and I are going into town. If you can manage the time, can we talk when I get back?" Her voice was monotone, her expression deadpan.
I nodded and moved from Joshua. I stood up and walked to the sink as she turned and walked back out. "That's great."
"Jamie, they have to understand that we aren't friends, but enemies." Joshua kept his voice quiet.
"Me and you?" I turned and pressed my back to the counter.
"No. Us and them. We’re Grollics and they’re abominations—Hunters and nothing more. Monsters created because someone sinned in their anger.”
He was wrong. He’d only been taught one side of the story. "Joshua...” I didn’t know how to explain what I was about to say. Rob didn’t believe me, why would Joshua. “We can pretend all we want, but you and I know that I am both. I’m Grollic and Hunter. And I’m neither.”
He stared at me but said nothing.
“You saw my mother during the fight. She's a Hunter whether I like it or not."
He moved toward me and brushed his hands down my arms. "I saw a swift burst of light. Don't make her into something she's not. Something you’re not."
His words gave me pause. Had I seen the situation differently than it occurred? No. Caleb's reaction to her was enough to validate my concern. I'd let Joshua think what he wanted to for now. It was easier that way.
"There’s a war coming to our doorstep and I can't honestly tell you that I know which side I will stand on." I swallowed hard and looked up at him.
He moved in quickly, pulling me forward and pressing a firm kiss on my lips. I pushed against him, but he didn't relent, his arms tightening until I let myself relax against him.
Pulling back, he brushed his nose past mine and growled softly. "Join me and you don't have to choose anymore. You belong to me. How can you question it?"
A shadow moved across the window behind him and I stiffened. Probably just one of the guys walked by with a load of wood or something.
Or a dark angel come to collect your soul.
"Jamie. Look at me and tell me that you don't believe I'm your mate."
I turned my attention back to him and worked quickly through a response. "I'm not sure what I believe. I'm not ready to call it black or white. It's still very grey for me."
He sighed softly and brushed another kiss against my lips before releasing me. "Okay. I can be patient if there is still a chance that you'll release your hold on this ridiculous notion that you have a future with a guardian. They want us dead. Please hear me."
"I do. I'm trying to let go. Just give me time." I reached out and brushed my fingers over his cheek before pulling from his hold.
"How are you feeling?" He pressed his hand to mine, holding me against him.
"I'm okay. Just a little weary."
"Did you get sick again today?"
"I’m fine. It’ll pass soon." Michael’s sick too.
"I'm taking you to the doctor tomorrow if it hasn't." He pressed a stern look against me.
I wanted to chuckle at him, but I couldn't seem to force the response. Knowing that Michael was sick alongside me left Grace's words truer than ever. His illness was obviously connected to mine. I hadn't considered mine to be related to losing him. Emotionally being drained or mentally jacked, sure, but physically sick... no.
"What vehicle did Grace and Rob take into town?" I moved to the kitchen window and looked out at the lake. It was beautiful and inviting.
"We have a few extra trucks just a little ways down the waterside. I told Rob earlier to use one anytime." Joshua moved to the door and tapped a wooden panel. "All the keys are up here if you ever need to use one too."
"Great. Thanks." I smiled at him and finished my water. "I'm going to go lay down for a bit. Promise me you won't hurt Grace if I'm not up to protect her."
"I won't hurt her, but if she lifts her hand toward me or my pack... all promises are off."
"I understand." I nodded and moved to pick up my backpack before heading down the hall languidly. My legs felt as if they weighed a million pounds, sleep beckoning me to come and rest for a while. I had no clue of what I might wake up to, but I didn't have much of a choice.
Shutting the door behind me, I tugged off my shoes and crawled up into the bed, flopping down and letting out a painful sigh as everything came crashing down.
Michael was sick. Grace was hurt. Rob was confused. Joshua was soon to be crushed.
All because of me.
