25

 

Flashes of lightning lit up my father’s hospital room and I closed the curtains on the rumble tearing across Noble’s shores. The lights flickered and I held my breath, but they steadied.

“You worry too much.” My father’s scratchy voice whispered. “Noble has weathered many storms.”

Just outside the room, I could make out the form of one of Siyah’s cousins standing by the door. Despite the escort here, I did not feel safe at all. Sitting on the edge of my father’s bed, I smiled. “How are you feeling, Papa?”

He reached out, snagged my hand in his large, calloused one. “You did well last night, little bird. If you had not—”

“Papa, please,” I interrupted, fighting the sudden surge of tears. “I can’t think about that right now.”

“You were very brave, anyway.” He let me go and wiped his brow. “It’s warm, no?”

I noticed the sweat beading on his upper lip and frowned. Feeling his cheek, I bit my lip. “You have a fever.”

“We have him on antibiotics,” a voice said behind me. Dr. Schuller stood at the door, his hands in his lab coat pocket. “Nobody is worried yet, but he’ll need to stay till it breaks.”

“Does my mother know?” I worried over my father’s sheets until he batted my hand away. “Does she, Papa?”

“Yes and all the nurses are quite clear about her concern,” he said.

“We’re taking good care of him.” Dr. Schuller squinted at me. “And what about your side? Are you having any sharp pains? Trouble breathing?”

“I’m fine,” I said. “Better today.”

“Your sister is waiting for you in the lobby,” Schuller said and took my father’s wrist, checking his pulse. “Something about breakfast?”

“Go,” my father urged, waving me away. “Go and eat and comfort her. She is still upset. Your mother cannot care for us both right now.”

Nodding, I leaned over, kissed his forehead and left him with the doctor. I found Sonja sitting in an orange plastic chair against the lobby wall. She was staring into the distance and biting her nails. I watched her for a moment, worried that so much fear and tragedy in so short a time might take a permanent toll on her.

“Pancakes would suit you,” I said as I walked over. Brushing a wisp of hair from her eyes, I smiled. “You want to eat?”

She stood, hugged me so tight it was hard to breathe, and then held me at arm’s length. Her lip quivered. “I – I need to tell you something, Raven.”

“All right.” Unease surged through me at the tone of her voice. “What is the matter?”

“Not here,” she said and pulled me to the doors. “Come with me.”

She led me out to the parking lot. I trotted behind her and winced at the jarring to my side.

“Where are we going?”

Not answering, she came to a truck—Luka’s—and we climbed inside. She pulled out of the hospital parking lot and drove down the road.

I waited, shivering from the cold and the unease in my chest.

Sonja fiddled with the heater’s controls and wipers, her face a mask of worry.

I reached over, put my hands on hers, and she stilled.

“Last night…” Her voice broke. “Raven, I think last night was my fault.”

“You didn’t know that talking to those people—”

“No,” she interrupted, looking at me. “No, I mean there’s something I haven’t told you about Niklos.” Her knuckles blanched white as she gripped the steering wheel. Her behavior sent alarm trilling through me.

“What is it? Does this have to do with him getting beat up?”

Her gaze shot to mine, surprised. “You know?”

“The sheriff told me last night. Sonja, what is going on?”

“I–I …” she tried, tears bursting from her eyes.

“Pull over, Sonja,” I urged, tugging gently on the wheel. “We’ll crash in this weather.”

“Please do not be angry.” She continued down the back road leading from the hospital to the north woods. Taking a shuddering breath, she turned to me, her gaze full of fear.

“Niklos was involved in something, wasn’t he?”

She nodded, sobbing.

Rain tapped the windshield, small needle-thin drops that promised more.

“Yes. He…he was in trouble, but would not tell me more than that.”

“Why haven’t you said anything to me? What are you hiding things for, Sonja?” Anger swelled, followed by fear. “Is that what you were doing the other day in the village? Asking people about whatever Niklos was into? Are these people, the ones who threatened Niklos, are they the ones you feared might have read your letters to me?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “All of it, yes.”

“Thompson said that some of those people are dangerous, Sonja. What were you thinking doing that alone?”

“I need to know.” She grabbed my hand. “When Niklos disappeared and his family left also, it did not make sense. He never would have left with them. So I went to his boat in the harbor to search it. He’d just bought it a few weeks before. It was ours. He would not leave without it.”

“His family didn’t know about it?”

“No. He put it in my name. The slip is even my favorite number.” She turned onto the east road leading towards the boardwalk. “That is why I thought he was here, on Noble. Despite what everyone said, he would not leave. And when they found him, I was afraid to say anything until last night when Papa—” she broke down, sobs wracking her body. Pulling to a stop in front of Siyah’s boardwalk gate, she shut the engine off. “I am so sorry for keeping things from you, Raven. I do not know what to do.”

“Oh, Sonja,” I said, worry squeezing my chest. “You have to tell the sheriff.”

“No,” she replied, in a panic. “I do not know who they are or any of their names, Raven. How would bringing Thompson into this help?”

“He is searching for the person who murdered your fiancé, Sonja,” I said, exasperated. “You have to tell him this.”

“But if Niklos was involved in something bad, Thompson might think I was, too.” She hugged herself. “You may trust him, but the men who are supposed to uphold the law on this island rarely do. For all I know, he is involved.”

I sat back, not sure what to tell her. I knew there had been trouble in the past with sheriffs, but Thompson seemed different.

“Did you find anything?” I asked. “On his boat?”

“I am not sure,” she began, but stopped when Siyah’s form appeared in her side window. He knocked on the glass, his dark hair whipping in the growing wind.

“Are you two all right?” His brows furrowed as he took in Sonja’s tear-stained face. He looked at me quizzically. “Raven?”

Sonja turned from him, flashed me a desperate look, her eyes wide with fear. Her lips formed pleading words.

“We just need a second,” I said to Siyah.

A thread of light shot across the sky, flaring the dark clouds overhead purple.

Siyah glanced up, and then back at us. “We should get inside. The storm’s on its way.”

“Let’s go,” I said and grabbed our purses. “He is right. It’s too cold out here.”

Sonja hesitated for a moment, and then pulled on her door handle, but the look she gave me was unmistakable: Don’t say anything.

 

****

 

We ran behind Siyah, following him to the loft building and up the stairs to his living quarters. He let us in and set our stuff on a work table. He whipped the rain from his coat, and then hung it on a hook. He kept glancing at me, and it set my nerves on edge.

I needed to think, and to talk to Sonja some more.

“What are we doing here?” Sonja wrung the rain from her hair, tying it in a knot. “All of my things are still at the club.”

“I had them moved,” Siyah said and nodded to our overnight bags in the living room. “The staff is getting the club ready for tonight and I thought you’d be more comfortable here.”

She nodded, wandering over to her things.

Siyah turned to me, a questioning look on his face.

“Are you all right?” he asked again. “You seem on edge.”

“It’s been a terrible few days,” I hedged and peeled off my coat. Siyah helped me out of it and frowned when I winced.

“I lit a fire.” He hung my coat. “Are you hungry?”

“I’m fine,” I said, blowing into my hands. “The fire sounds nice, though.”

Inwardly fighting with wanting to be back in his arms, to tell him everything, and needing him to leave so I could speak with Sonja, I walked over to the fireplace and stared at the flames, unsure of what to do. I felt him watching me, and I was sure he could tell I was hiding something.

“I have to go, but I’ll be back to check on you,” Siyah intoned to both of us, his voice even. “Raven, can I speak with you for a moment?”

Pulse ratcheting up, I forced a smile and nodded. “Sure.”

I followed him past the kitchen and bathroom down the hallway to the room at the end. When we entered, I realized we were in his bedroom. A large mahogany bed took up the bulk of the room, an antique bureau and a writing desk butted up against the opposite wall. Done in the same dark colors and white linens as the rest of the home, it was very much Siyah. Masculine and elegant. He had artifacts from our island’s history mounted under windows, over doorways. Maps and sketches of ships and the first settlements hung next to works in bronze on the dresser. I stood in the vast room feeling thrown at seeing so intimate a space.

He closed the door and stood with his hands in his pockets, looking at me with those striking blue eyes. “I chained the doors to the funhouse,” he said. “After what you told me, I went to see for myself the tunnel entrance. That hole was not there before, at least not a few weeks ago.”

“Who would have done it?” Memories of those frightful moments huddling in the dark brought goose bumps to my arms, and I rubbed them, shuddering. “Why would they do that?”

“I don’t know, but the whole of the carnival is hardly secure. It could be anyone.”

“And Thompson?” I asked. “What did the sheriff say?”

“What would I tell him, exactly?” Siyah asked, his face impassive.

“That I was attacked by…something.” I sighed. “I’m not losing my mind, Siyah. I didn’t run from shadows or bad feelings. Someone or something tried to crush me with the mirrored walls.” Even as I said it, I doubted my own sanity. What was happening to me? Why did no one else seem to see the things I saw? Was guilt over my part in covering up the real reason Crawley died finally breaking my mind apart?

“I believe you. I just don’t have much to show him right now. Broken mirrors are not a lot to go on.”

“But that could be how whoever killed Niklos moved the body. Thompson should send a crime scene team down there or something.”

“I will tell him.” He stepped towards me, his hand at my upper arm, soothing my skin with his thumb. “When he returns from the south end of the island.”

“H–he needs to know.” Siyah’s touch left a heat trail, and I moved away, unsure if I could resist pulling him to me if I stayed within reach.

His lips ticked down when I did, but he didn’t stop me. “I am sorry I left before,” he said softly.

I hadn’t expected that. Our conversation, his warmth and soft breath on my skin as he nearly kissed me, flashed in my mind. Turning to hide the heat rushing to my cheeks, I dug in my purse. “It’s fine. You had more important things to do than babysit us. I know that.”

But it wasn’t fine. Had he gone to be with Lenora? Hands fluttering, I finally hugged myself, forcing my gaze to his. He stood so still, just watching.

“And you are upset.”

“You told me to leave the island, and then tried to kiss me,” I said, my hand going to my flushed cheek. “I’m upset, yes.”

“I should not have done that.”

Regret marred his beautiful features, and I wondered if he meant he shouldn’t have told me to leave or shouldn’t have tried to kiss me. I wished I could ask. Instead, we stood miles apart in the same room.

Feeling tired, I sank to a nearby chair. Elbows on my knees, I rubbed my temples. The sedative from last night left me feeling groggy. I’d practically passed out on Sonja, minutes after Siyah left us. I never had a chance to speak with her and I had needed to.

Siyah knelt next to me and took my hand in his, holding me with his gaze. “I get the feeling I walked in on something between the two of you earlier.”

Ignoring the rush of flutters to my chest, I glanced over at the closed door before leaning in to whisper. “She was starting to tell me something about Niklos.”

“And I interrupted. Sorry.”

“Niklos was involved with some bad people, Siyah.” I breathed. “He owed them money.”

“Yes, I know.” My lips shut on the rest of the sentence, realization dawning.

Siyah knew a whole lot more than he had let on. Through this whole ordeal, he told me as little as possible. I felt constantly in the dark with him.

Frustration bit at my patience and I sighed heavily. “You do know, don’t you? Thompson said you found Niklos beaten and yet you never said a word while I was frantically trying to help my sister find her missing fiancé. Is that where he was all those days he was missing? With them?”

“I don’t know.”

“But you had an idea they might have something to do with where he was.”

“I was not sure they were related.” The veil of calm floated down over his features. Detached, ready to argue, he folded his arms. “Not then, at least, and I did not want to involve you.”

“Involve me? I have been involved from the beginning, Siyah. I’ve been chased and frightened and assaulted from almost the moment I arrived. I’m beginning to wonder if I know what is real and what is not.” Rising to my feet, I swung open his bedroom door and strode down the hall with forced calm. The shower was running in the bathroom as I passed it. Sonja hadn’t heard us and relief flooded me. Siyah’s footsteps, slow behind me, told me he followed, but I ignored him.

“Stop, Raven,” he said, his voice low, but calm. “Please be still long enough to hear what I have to say.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I am so tired, Siyah, I cannot even express the depth of it. So much fear and worry. So many lies and I can only take so much before it becomes too much.” I gathered my things, refusing to look at him, unwilling to do this.

Siyah was beautiful, formidable, and took my breath away. He had been the source of my greatest happiness and hope, but now…now he only seemed to push me off balance. I felt out of control with him and out of control over my feelings for him. I could not be that girl again. I refused to be. “My father almost died. My sister seems to be cracking apart. And worst of all, I’ve been deliberately kept in the dark by you, when what I needed the most was for you trust me with what you knew.”

“Listen,” he reached for me, and I was powerless to stop him as he pulled me close. “I was trying to protect you.”

Sinking into him, I whispered against his chest. “You should have told me.” Letting my arms slip under his, I splayed my hands on his muscled back, wishing I could draw strength from him. I was so tired of being scared and confused.

“I should have told you,” he repeated and stroked my hair. “You are right.”

His hard angles held my soft curves and it felt so warm and safe to be this near him, but I pulled away, frowning to myself. Not five days ago, he’d had someone else in his arms. Perhaps he’d even held her last night. He only offered comfort and that was not enough for me. I couldn’t leave my heart unguarded around him again. I remembered his words from last night. He wanted me safe, but that was it. He thought it best I left Noble. I stepped away and Siyah let me go, his fingers sliding down my arm as he let his hand drop. Dark circles made his eyes seem tired, preoccupied.

“I just need some peace, if only for a little while.” I paced, rubbed the ache in my elbow, and glanced out the window. The storm whipped leaves along the glass and they stuck, and then slid down slowly. “I wish I could work.”

Siyah stood silent, and then motioned towards the door.

“Before this loft was livable, I worked out of a small studio at the far end of the hall downstairs. If you need time alone, to spread out your drawings, there is great light there.”

“That sounds nice.” I nodded and smiled. “Thank you. I’ll tell Sonja when she gets out.”

“I did not…” Siyah stopped himself. “It is not my intention to keep you in the dark about anything. But there is so much uncertain, right now. So much is at stake.”

I thought about Lenora and the council. Siyah had so much on his shoulders, so many people whose lives his decisions affected.

I was just a visitor here. An outsider by choice and action. I had no right to interfere or put in jeopardy the fate of the families.

“I know, Siyah,” I said quietly. “But you will do the right thing, I think. You know the consequences of rash choices and you love Noble. You’ll make a great leader. An honorable one.”

He stilled next to me, but I kept my eyes on the window. The afternoon sun shone eerie yellow against a sky pocked with black clouds. A vein of light spidered down, snapping on the ground.

Placing a key on the work bench, Siyah left without another word.

I didn’t blame him.

What more was there to say?