Leah tried not to let Kyle’s reactions influence her. The frown wrinkling his forehead when she put the cradle in the sunlight made it clear he’d disagreed with her decision. Now he was gazing at her thoughtfully. She had to admit he was quite handsome when he wasn’t glowering.
Leah shook her head to dislodge the wayward thought. She had no business thinking like that. Besides, if he spent time around her, sooner or later he’d glance into her eyes and realize…
“He’s trying to eat,” Hannah said, raising Leah’s spirits and driving thoughts of Kyle from her mind.
“Thank the Lord!” Leah had been so nervous about her first solo delivery, especially one she’d been expecting to go wrong. Joy bubbled up inside. She beamed as Enos wrapped an arm around Hannah and held her close while she fed the baby.
“Yoo-hoo.” A loud voice echoing down the hall was soon followed by Sharon’s bouncing steps. “Sorry I didn’t answer your call. I was delivering the Heises’ baby.” She stopped in the doorway to take in the scene. “Well, well, well, Miss Leah, it looks like you did a fine job on your own here.”
Although she was grateful for her mentor’s approval, Leah couldn’t take credit for a successful delivery. “God was gracious. And Enos and Hannah have had plenty of experience.”
“So everything went well?” Sharon gazed from one to the other.
“Very well,” Leah assured her, “although the baby does have jaundice. Dr. Hess thinks the due date might have been off, because his lungs are functioning properly.”
“Highly possible,” Sharon agreed. “We’ve had that trouble before, haven’t we, Hannah?”
Her eyes brimming with tears, Hannah nodded. Leah’s heart went out to her. It must be painful to remember the babies she’d lost, even while holding her precious newborn.
Sharon examined the room. “Looks like you’ve already prepared for the jaundice, Leah. I’m so proud of you for handling everything so well.”
A muscle in Kyle’s cheek quivered, and Leah suspected he was holding back a retort. She returned her attention to the happy couple but said to Sharon, “I’m not done yet. I still have a lot of cleanup to do. I’ll wait until Hannah’s done feeding the baby, though.”
Once the baby had eaten, Enos rose, tucked the covers around his wife, and kissed her forehead. “You rest now, Hannie,” he said. “I’m heading to Sarah’s to get the children. I won’t be long. I know you’re in good hands with Leah and Sharon.”
After Enos left, Dr. Hess stepped into the hallway to call his wife and tell her about the baby. Esther loved each new baby that arrived. Leah could only imagine how heartbroken she must be to have none of her own.
Sharon assisted Hannah down the hallway to get cleaned up, but Kyle remained where he was as Leah diapered and dressed the baby. Her usual smooth movements became jerky under his watchful eyes. If only Dr. Hess would finish his call and take Kyle back to the office with him. Taking deep breaths to calm her nerves, she cocooned the newborn in blankets and laid him in the cradle before changing the sheets.
She had to walk past Kyle with the bundled-up bed linens. He stepped aside, but her arms, filled with linens, brushed against his sleeve. He jolted back as if she’d burned him, and he draped the coat he’d taken off earlier over his arm as if to protect it from any more unwelcome contact.
Leah shriveled up inside. He disliked her so much he’d been repulsed by an accidental touch? She wouldn’t let him see how much that hurt. She lifted her chin and strode through the doorway, acting as if she didn’t care. Yet her arm still registered the warmth of his skin and the hardness of his muscles under the tan wool sweater that stretched tightly across his broad chest. If he were Amish and she weren’t dating Ben, Leah might have sneaked another look, but she had no interest in anyone who wasn’t with the church.
After soaking and rinsing the sheets in lukewarm water, Leah ran them through the wringer washer and hung them out on the line. She hoped they’d dry before nightfall in this chilly weather, because all laundry needed to be off the line by then. She hurried back to the bedroom with the fresh sheets Enos had left on the kitchen table and stopped short.
His back to the door, Kyle had gone down on one knee beside the cradle to pick up the whimpering baby. He cradled the newborn in his arms, cuddling it close and crooning, “There, there. Mommy will be back soon. It’s not easy coming into this cold world after being so snug and warm, is it?”
He stood and rocked gently from foot to foot until the baby quieted. “I wish they’d take you to the hospital, little one. You should be sleeping under UV lights, and your brother needs to be staying there too.”
His heartfelt sigh touched Leah, and she blinked back a tear. He genuinely cared about both babies, and he seemed to have a magic touch with them. The newborn in his arms had quieted quickly.
Kyle knelt by the cradle, lowered the baby in, and tucked the blankets securely around the now-sleeping child. Instead of getting to his feet, he stayed where he was, one hand resting on the baby’s rising and falling chest, and Leah’s heart fluttered. What a wonderful father he’d make. And a great doctor.
If only she could persuade him of the benefits of natural remedies, they could work together as a team…
What was she thinking? All along, she’d been hoping he wouldn’t take Dr. Hess’s place, but now she wasn’t sure. But if he stayed, she’d need to confess her part in the horrific accident that had injured Emma. Years ago, she’d asked Emma for forgiveness, which Emma graciously gave, but it had never erased her guilt. Leah had never had a chance to apologize to Kyle because he’d left town right after the accident. Now, though, she had to do it. As soon as the right opening presented itself.
So far, he hadn’t recognized her, but many people blocked out traumatic memories. Even if he had, she couldn’t be dishonest or live with the uncertainty that he might remember.
Kyle rose, and Leah backed into the hallway so he wouldn’t know she’d been watching. She waited a minute before carrying in the sheets. Kyle still stood by the cradle, but he turned as she entered.
“Need help with those?” he offered.
Too choked up to speak, Leah only nodded. She’d misjudged him. Not only did he care about children, he wasn’t haughty like some of the doctors she’d encountered at the hospital when she’d taken Mamm.
Kyle helped her spread the sheets on the bed and tuck them in. Leah had just finished straightening the quilt when Sharon helped Hannah back into the room. Kyle stepped aside as Sharon tucked Hannah into bed and Leah made sure Hannah had everything she needed on the bedside table.
Once Hannah drifted off to sleep, Leah carried her equipment to the kitchen to sterilize it and pack it back in her bag. Dr. Hess and Kyle stayed in the room, huddled over the sleeping baby, and Leah wondered if he was trying to convince the doctor to take the baby to the hospital. She had faith in Dr. Hess’s powers of persuasion.
When everything was properly sterilized and packed, she and Sharon sat at the kitchen table to fill out the required paperwork. Leah wished she’d brought her notebook in from the carriage to record details of the birth. She’d try to remember to fill it out later tonight. She and Sharon had completed the record keeping and started on the birth certificate when Enos returned with the three older children. He led them down the hall to see the new baby.
A spate of coughing came from the other back bedroom, and Leah jumped up from the table. In all the excitement of the delivery and the new baby, she’d forgotten about Aaron. She raced down the hall and skidded to a stop when she spotted Kyle, but her foot slipped on the polished wooden floorboards, and she crashed into his rock-solid chest. He gripped her arms to steady her, and her skin tingled under the touch of his fingers. This time she was the one who jerked away, and she kept whispering Ben’s name under her breath until the strange sensations ended.
“I, um, was going to check on the baby,” she said once she’d caught her breath and her rapid heartbeat had slowed slightly.
“So was I.” Kyle looked as flustered as she felt. He stepped back and motioned for her to precede him.
Leah’s eyebrows shot up. He didn’t intend to block her from the room? She’d been expecting censure rather than politeness, so his response threw her off balance. Smoothing down her black work apron to calm herself, Leah walked past him into the room.
Dr. Hess stood by the cradle, his stethoscope pressed against baby Aaron’s chest. He looked up when they entered. “Not much change since yesterday.”
“I’ll cut up fresh onion.” Leah hurried from the room, her perverse emotions wishing for a few more moments in Kyle’s arms. She returned with another stocking filled with onion and cayenne, ingredients that made her eyes water, and a small sippy cup of fresh pineapple juice, which she held out to Dr. Hess.
“What’s in that?” Kyle asked.
“This has onion and cayenne pepper and—”
“I know that. I meant in the cup.”
While Dr. Hess held Aaron, Leah removed the old poultice and replaced it with the new one. “The cup is filled with pineapple juice.”
“Pineapple juice?” His surprise was evident.
“Fresh pineapple juice is great for coughs.” Leah had recommended it to Enos and Hannah yesterday. She waited for Kyle to dispute that.
“I suppose,” Kyle said. “I’ve not seen studies proving it’s effective for coughs. It does contain bromelain, though, which reduces swelling of the nose and sinuses, so it might reduce some symptoms.”
Leah was so surprised to have him partially agree with her she almost dropped the cup. She longed to retort, I know. I also recommend it for hay fever, but she managed to bite her tongue. He’d attempted to be nice, and she should reciprocate. “I like finding natural cures that can be used instead of conventional medicine.”
Slight frown lines appeared between his brows. Perhaps her comment hadn’t been conciliatory. Leah sighed inwardly. If she’d already offended him, she might as well continue. Maybe, though, she could offer an explanation he might accept. “Because many medicines are derived from plants, I prefer to go back to the original sources and use those plants so they aren’t combined with chemicals.”
“I suppose that makes sense.”
She couldn’t believe Kyle had agreed with her twice in this short conversation.
Dr. Hess shifted baby Aaron in his arms. “Why don’t you feed him the juice, Leah? I’ll wash up and peek in on the new baby. Then I should probably get Kyle back to the house.”
Leah took Aaron from the doctor’s arms and settled on the bed. She expected Kyle to follow Dr. Hess, but instead he remained standing near the doorway. She tried to ignore him, but her hands were unsteady.
As she lifted the cup to Aaron’s lips, deep, thick coughs racked his tiny body. Holding him upright against her, she patted his back until they subsided. Kyle’s frown deepened.
“That child should be in the hospital and so should the newborn.” The words burst from Kyle’s lips. “You’re endangering both of their lives. If you’re as interested in healing as you claim, you’d never suggest keeping them here at home.”
So much for their temporary truce. “What about Hannah? She’d have to travel all that way to the hospital, and if she stayed with the baby, she’d have to leave her other children here, and…”
“You’d put a mother’s convenience over her baby’s life?”
“If the babies truly were in danger, I’d be the first to recommend taking them to the hospital. Plenty of babies get over jaundice and pneumonia without going to the hospital.”
“And some don’t get over it.” His words rang around the room like a death knell.
“I understand you’re a doctor, but hospitals aren’t always the best solution.”
“They’re much safer than treating sick children and having preemies at home.”
“The baby isn’t a preemie. He was only a little early.”
“You didn’t know that before the delivery, though, did you?” Kyle’s voice rose.
That was true. “You’re right. I didn’t, but everything turned out all right.”
“Yes, it did, but there’s an equal chance things could have gone wrong. Very wrong.”
The anguish on Kyle’s face tugged at Leah’s heart. “That’s always a possibility,” she said softly. “It could happen with any birth, whether at home or at the hospital. We can only leave that up to God.”
Kyle’s face darkened. “Leave God out of it.”
“I can’t leave God out of anything. And as for birth, it’s a natural process.” Leah wished she had the textbook Sharon had given her so she could show him the actual statistics from countries around the world, but at least she remembered the overall stats. “Studies have shown that a greater percentage of planned home births use less intervention and have fewer deaths compared to hospital births.”
“That depends on what studies you’re looking at,” Kyle said. “Just remember most people who choose home births have low-risk pregnancies. Almost all high-risk pregnancies use hospitals.”
Leah disliked admitting he did have a point. “That’s true.” Her textbook had pointed that out too. “Still, women have been delivering babies for centuries before hospitals existed.”
“And look at the mortality rates before there were hospitals. Many of those babies died.”
“Perhaps they did in earlier times, but that’s not true now.”
“If home births are so great, why are more and more Amish women in this area having their babies in hospitals? Maybe because it’s safer?”
“Perhaps they’ve been trained to think that way.” Leah didn’t want to concede he was right. “It might also be because there aren’t enough trained midwives or doctors willing to serve as backup for emergencies.”
“Of course there aren’t,” Kyle shot back. “It takes a lot more time to do house calls, and there’s always the chance of a malpractice lawsuit.”
“The Amish don’t believe in suing people.”
As if she’d poked a hole in his pride, all the bluster and fight leaked out, leaving Kyle deflated. “I know,” he mumbled.
Leah cringed inside. She hadn’t meant to hurt him or remind him of his past. She’d only been trying to make her point and defend her profession. No wonder God warned against hochmut. Pride destroyed so many relationships. In this case, Kyle wasn’t the only one to blame.
* * *
Kyle muttered an excuse to get away as quickly as he could. As much as he enjoyed sparring with Leah and seeing her face light up with that fierce fire when she defended a cause she believed in, she’d hit him in a vulnerable spot.
He, of all people, should know the Amish didn’t sue. Anyone else would have taken him to court, not only for medical bills but also for pain and suffering. If they had, he’d be paying off those bills for the rest of his life. Kyle had vowed that once he’d paid off his med school loans, he’d start sending money to Emma’s family and to their church community anonymously, because the members had helped her parents foot the bills. If he took over for Dr. Hess, he’d be able to do that sooner, but being back here had been painful. Every day he’d wonder if he’d be called on to treat someone who knew about his past or, worse yet, someone from his past. Now he had one more reason not to accept Dr. Hess’s offer. His growing attraction for the midwife. The farther he stayed from Leah, the better.
As much as he hated disappointing the Hesses after all they’d done for him and his family, he couldn’t live in this town with all the memories. That brought him right back to the talk he needed to have with them. He’d be flying out of here tomorrow night, and they still believed he’d be taking over the practice. He owed it to them to let them know they needed to find someone else. He couldn’t keep them hanging like this. It wasn’t fair.
He crossed the hall and stood in the doorway of the room where Dr. Hess was talking to the new father.
Enos knelt beside the cradle and laid a gentle hand on his sleeping son’s head. “We’re going to call him Caleb after my onkel.”
A wave of sadness flooded over Kyle. When he was small, that had been his favorite name in the whole world. He’d adored his older brother, Caleb, and followed him everywhere. Now the name only brought sickness and sorrow. If only his brother hadn’t joined the Amish, they’d still be best friends. If Kyle hadn’t dated Emma, Caleb never would have met and fallen for Emma’s older sister, Lydia. His brother had left his Englisch life behind to marry her, something Kyle could never do.
Kyle missed the closeness of their early years, but he wanted nothing to do with his brother’s new lifestyle. Even worse, Kyle could never visit him, because he and Lydia lived next door to Emma and her husband.
Kyle had retreated so deep into thought he jumped when Dr. Hess called his name.
The doctor crossed the room and laid a hand on his arm. “Are you ready to go?”
Kyle pulled himself from the painful past.
“I’m sorry,” Dr. Hess said. “You must be exhausted. Let’s head back.”
Kyle was glad the doctor had mistaken his reverie for tiredness. Yes, he’d had a hectic schedule before he’d flown here, but the main reason for his tiredness had been coming here. This trip had been emotionally battering. Everywhere he turned, he collided with upsetting memories.
When they got to the front door, Kyle reached around Dr. Hess to open it. The wind almost tore the door from his hands. Overcast skies signaled a storm was brewing. Leaves whipped through the air as Kyle, bent against the gale force of the wind, led the way to the car, using his body to shield the elderly doctor from the gusts and pelting leaves. He wrestled the doctor’s door open and held it as Dr. Hess climbed inside. Then he rounded the car, fighting the wind. After a tussle, Kyle managed to open the car door, slide in, and catch his breath. Thankful to be inside, he sank back against the seat, buckled his seat belt, and closed his eyes while Dr. Hess drove the rocking car down the driveway. Kyle’s mind churned even more than the wind.
As they drove home through the gale, Kyle not only worried about the babies, but he had an added concern about Leah’s safety. Despite their disagreements over the best treatments, he couldn’t help thinking about how small and slight she was. She barely came up to his shoulder. How would she get home in her buggy in this windstorm? The gusts battering the car felt as if they might be strong enough to overturn a buggy.
“How do buggies withstand a storm like this?” Kyle asked Dr. Hess.
The doctor smiled. “They’re sturdier than they look. You might be surprised.”
“But look at the way the car is shaking.”
“If you’re concerned about Leah, she’ll probably stay at the house for several more hours. Midwives usually help the family for a while after a birth. Let’s hope this windstorm dies down by then.”
Kyle nodded, but thinking about her heading home later made him anxious about accidents on the road after dark. And speaking of his anxieties…
Taking a deep breath, he turned to the doctor. “I’m also worried about the newborn and little Aaron. Even if the natural remedies are helpful, both children would be better off in the hospital. I wish the Fishers would take your advice.”
Dr. Hess smiled. “There are times when I’d agree with you. Sometimes it seems Leah has more influence on the community than I do, but her advice is usually sound. She won’t steer people in the wrong direction.”
“But don’t you think jaundice and pneumonia both need hospitalization?”
“Not necessarily.” Dr. Hess’s tone remained unconcerned. “Although I wish the Fishers would consider it, plenty of children recover from both without going to hospitals.” Dr. Hess took a hand from the steering wheel and laid it on Kyle’s arm. “The Amish believe in trusting God for the outcome. Perhaps rather than worrying, we should follow their example and pray for the children.”
Kyle pinched his lips together to hold back his retort. He had firsthand experience praying for his mom to survive. God hadn’t answered that prayer, so how could he trust God for these little ones?
The rest of the ride, Kyle remained silent. Leah had said the Amish believed any outcome was God’s will too.
Thinking about Leah brought back her smile, her sparkling eyes, the joy shining on her face as she held the baby and little Aaron. He jerked his thoughts from those images. The last thing he needed was to let a fleeting attraction distract him. Coming back here had been a mistake. An even bigger mistake would be to allow himself to fall for another Amish girl.