Ignoring all his internal warnings and clamoring alarm bells, Kyle reached for Leah and drew her into his arms. She needed comfort, and he couldn’t walk away, leaving her alone at a time like this. “I’m so sorry. If anyone deserves to have children, it’s you.” She’d be a wonderful mother.
She leaned her head against his chest, and he feared she’d detect the rapid hammering of his heart. He cradled her face, wishing for a way to ease her heartache.
The door to the room banged open, and they jumped apart. Pale and wan, Mary leaned against the doorjamb. “The baby’s screaming,” she said as if caring for the infant was their responsibility.
“You could feed her,” Kyle pointed out, trying not to let exasperation creep into his tone. He shouldn’t be taking his annoyance out on her because she’d interrupted his time with Leah. He should be berating himself for holding Leah in the first place.
A series of expressions crossed Mary’s face. Uncertainty, fear, and then defiance. Right before she turned away, Kyle glimpsed grief in her eyes.
Leah grabbed one of the bottles. “I’ll go sterilize this. Be right back.”
Kyle clenched his fists to keep from reaching out to wipe the traces of tears from Leah’s cheeks. Those moments he’d held her in his arms had erased years of loneliness. If only he could ease some of her sorrow the way she’d alleviated his.
After grabbing a small stack of diapers, Kyle closed the storeroom door and locked it. He offered Mary an arm in case she needed support and escorted her back to the room, but now that the baby had arrived, she didn’t seem ready to flee. Perhaps she was too drained after the delivery, but the fight seemed to have gone out of her.
She sank onto a chair and winced. Wriggling around, she made herself more comfortable. He needed to get her upstairs and into bed. First, though, the baby needed to be changed and fed. He put the diapers near the makeshift bassinet and changing table, then turned to find Mary staring off into the distance.
“Look over here,” Kyle said in the authoritarian tone he sometimes needed to use as a doctor. “You need to learn how to hold your baby properly.”
Mary’s eyes widened, and she shook her head.
“Now.” His command left no room for argument. If she was afraid, knowing some basics would help her overcome some of her fears. “This is important.”
As soon as he had her attention, he changed his voice to soothing as he described the baby’s soft spot and the importance of supporting a newborn’s neck. Then he lifted the baby to demonstrate, but when he walked over and tried to place her daughter in her arms, Mary fixed her eyes on the floor and shrank back.
Leah entered with the bottle, and after one look at Mary, she said in an upbeat voice, “Let’s feed this beautiful little girl.”
She must have dried her tears while she prepared the bottle. Maybe she’d also prayed, because her face was serene. He admired her inner strength and courage.
Despite her own heartbreak, she reached out to Mary, trying to encourage the young mother to participate in the process. With a blank face, Mary barely registered Leah’s gentle explanations about feeding and burping, and whenever Leah attempted to hand over the baby, Mary balked.
It seemed Mary was doing everything possible to avoid bonding with her baby. That didn’t bode well for the child’s future. He hoped she had caring relatives who would step in to care for the little girl.
Once the baby had been fed and diapered, Kyle suggested an early bedtime. Most new mothers barely got out of bed the first few days, but Mary hadn’t had stitches. And some of the teen mothers he’d seen at various hospitals seemed to bounce back pretty quickly. She had to be exhausted, though.
“Let’s get Mary up to bed and make sure all three of you settle in for the night. Then I’ll sleep down here in the office.” To forestall Leah’s protest, he pointed out, “I can’t very well sleep upstairs. What would Esther think?”
Kyle had no idea how he’d explain these arrangements to Esther and Martin when they returned, but at least he and Leah could say they’d kept their agreement. And now they had two chaperones.
Upstairs, they made a makeshift bassinet from one of Kyle’s dresser drawers and layers of blankets. Kyle carried it into the room where Mary would sleep and set it on the hope chest at the foot of the bed. “If you get tired of caring for her in the night and need a break, just call me. I can take her downstairs and use the makeshift bassinet.”
“I’ll be right next door,” Leah assured her. “I’m happy to help with anything. I can run downstairs to heat her bottles.”
After they left Mary’s room, Kyle whispered, “I’m concerned because she seems to have no interest in caring for her daughter.”
“I noticed that. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of the baby if she doesn’t.” She flashed him a tired smile. “Thank you for everything today.”
Kyle held up a hand to stop her. “You’re the one who was a hero today. You brought two babies into the world and saved both of their lives.” He swallowed hard. “You’re an amazing woman.”
Leah ducked her head, but the pink suffusing her cheeks revealed she appreciated the compliment.
“Do you need anything else before I go?”
She glanced up at him with shining eyes. “I think we’ll be all right.”
“I’d better go downstairs,” he said abruptly, fighting the urge to take her into his arms. If he didn’t leave now, he’d forget Esther’s rules entirely.
* * *
The next few days flew by in a blur. Outside the snow piled up, trapping them inside. Leah called Joel to let him know she’d be staying with a new mother for a while and would call him when she was ready to go home. Her brother didn’t subject her to the inquisition her parents would have. She also explained about Matthew having her phone so they wouldn’t try to call her.
Mary stayed in bed and refused to hold or help with the baby. Leah took the night shift, and Kyle cared for the newborn during the day. But with Leah making meals and cleaning during the day, and Kyle making dinner in the evenings and sleeping restlessly on the sofa, they sleepwalked past each other and shared weary smiles.
The snowplows came through late Thursday night, scraping the roads clear. When Friday dawned sunny, Kyle knocked at the door to the house. Despite being drained, seeing him sent her pulse pitter-pattering.
“Would you be able to watch the baby for a few hours this morning?” he asked. “That way I can go to the store for groceries and baby supplies. I want to replace everything we used and get a few things for the baby to wear.”
Leah had been counting on a morning nap, but they’d run low on everything. “That’s fine. I’ll work on cleaning the house before the Hesses get back. Tomorrow, right?”
Kyle nodded.
“I don’t know what to do about Mary,” Leah said. “She refuses to name the baby. Now that the snow is cleared, I’ll need to mail the birth certificate forms.”
“I’ll see if I can get her to cooperate.” Kyle had observed her closely for postpartum depression, but other than avoiding the baby, she showed no signs of the baby blues. “With Esther and Martin returning, we need to take her home today.”
“If you can get Mary to tell you where she lives. I haven’t gotten that information from her.” Leah rubbed her eyes, which were gritty from lack of sleep. Kyle tried to speak with Mary before he left, but he got no further with her than Leah had.
Leah sighed. “Until we find out her information, I guess I’ll have to take her and the baby to my house. Mamm won’t mind. She loves babies.”
After Kyle left, Leah gave the baby her first bottle of the morning. Then she sank onto the bed. She should clean up, but she could hardly keep her eyes open. Caring for a newborn wore her out, but she’d fallen in love with the tiny infant. She’d do anything for the little one, including sacrificing sleep. Being exhausted meant she had little time for daydreaming about Kyle. Anytime she relaxed, rather than drifting off into fantasies, she drifted off to sleep.
She woke with a start. Disoriented, she stared around the room. How long had she been asleep? The baby hadn’t cried. Rustling downstairs in the kitchen meant Kyle had returned with the groceries. Though it went against Esther’s rules, she should help him. It would also be one of her last chances to spend time alone with him. First, she should check on the baby.
She eased open the door to Mary’s room. It surprised Leah not to find Mary in bed, but the baby still slept soundly. Leah tiptoed over to enjoy the rise and fall of the newborn’s chest with each breath. She could stand here all day, but Kyle could use help. She headed for the door, one quiet step at a time. A note on the nightstand drew her attention.
Leah and Kyle,
I’m leaving my baby in your care. I can see how much the two of you love each other. You’ll be good parents. Please don’t try to find me.
P.S. My real name is not Mary Esh.
* * *
Kyle had slipped into the house with the groceries and stowed them in the refrigerator and cupboards, trying not to wake Mary, the baby, or Leah, if she was napping. An image of her cuddling and smiling down at the newborn caused his stomach to flip. He wished their time together didn’t have to end.
Upstairs, Leah shrieked. Kyle pounded up the stairs. Had something happened to the baby?
Leah stood trembling beside the unmade bed in Mary’s room, holding a sheet of paper in her hands. “Mary left. She took off.” Leah held out the note for him to read.
Kyle skimmed it. “I thought she was settling in.”
Leah stared at him. “Where could she have gone in this weather?”
“She can’t have gotten far. I’ll drive around and see if I can find her and talk some sense into her.”
Snowplows had cleared most of the streets, but they’d left huge mountains of snow along the shoulders. “If she cut across fields, you’ll never see her.”
“I have to try. Maybe she left footprints I can follow.”
Leah wished she could go with him, but someone needed to stay here with the baby.
The door opened downstairs, and Kyle smiled and set the note down on the nightstand near the door. “Maybe she changed her mind and came back.”
Leah basked in the sunshine of his smile and in the hope that Mary had decided to accept some responsibility. “It would be hard to leave such a darling baby.”
Sharp footfalls clacked up the steps.
Leah leaned toward Kyle and whispered, “Should we act like we haven’t seen the note?”
“I thought I heard voices up here.” Esther walked to the doorway of the room and blinked.
Leah straightened and moved away from Kyle but not quickly enough to prevent Esther from seeing how close she’d been standing. Esther’s gaze roamed from the two of them to the unmade bed right behind them with its covers dangling on the floor. Her eyes widened, and her eyebrows arched up so high they almost disappeared into her permed gray bangs.
“I can explain,” Kyle said.
“I’d rather not hear any justifications for this…this betrayal of our trust.” With sadness in her eyes, she turned to Leah. “I’ll wait until you’ve gone downstairs to talk to Kyle. Then either Martin or I will drive you home.”
“But I can’t leave—”
Before she could explain about the baby, Esther cut her off. “You can, and you will. I’ll talk with you downstairs.”
Leah should respect her elders, so she closed her mouth and headed down to the living room. She hoped Esther would allow Kyle to explain about the baby. Then she’d show her Mary’s note.
* * *
Still in shock at Esther’s early return, Kyle blurted out, “I thought you were coming home tomorrow.”
“Martin and I decided we’d prefer to rest for a day before attending church on Sunday. We caught an early flight back.” Her eyes sad, she shook her head. “So you thought you’d have one more day together before we got here?”
“It really wasn’t like that.” Kyle didn’t know how to begin. “It’s a long story. Maybe we could all sit in the living room so Leah and I could explain.”
“I really don’t think, under the circumstances, I can trust any explanations—or justifications—of your behavior.” She turned to leave.
“Please, Esther…”
“I came up to ask if you’d help Martin with the luggage, but I forgot.”
“I’ll go now.” Kyle took the stairs two at a time so the doctor wouldn’t be stuck carting in the heavy suitcases. Perhaps he could explain everything to Dr. Hess.
The doctor stood in the garage beside two large suitcases. “I got them in from the driveway after the cab dropped us off, but wheeling them in winded me.”
“I’m sorry I took so long. I’d like to discuss a misunderstanding I had with Esther,” Kyle said, as he picked up both suitcases.
Dr. Hess held up a hand. “I made it a policy years ago I’d never listen to anything negative about my wife.”
“I meant with both of you together, but first I need to do something urgent.” Kyle rushed up the stairs with the suitcases. Then he came back down and poked his head into the living room. “I don’t want to leave you to face Esther’s wrath alone, but the sooner I go after Mary, the more likely I am to find her.”
“Don’t worry,” Leah said. “I can handle things here. Once Esther realizes the truth, she’ll calm down.”
A thin wail came from upstairs, and Leah rose. “I’d better take care of the baby. Go ahead and search for Mary.”
* * *
Leah hurried upstairs and ran into Esther in the hallway.
“What is going on?” the doctor’s wife demanded.
“That’s what Kyle and I need to explain, but first I need to take care of the baby.”
A confused frown etched between her eyebrows, Esther followed Leah into the bedroom and stood to one side staring while Leah picked up the newborn to comfort her.
“That’s not…that can’t be yours.” Esther shook her head.
Leah longed to say, Yes, this baby is mine. Then joy exploded through her. She’d left the note downstairs on the table, but Mary had given her the baby. This child was hers. Her own child.
“Actually,” Leah said with a smile, “she is. And I need to feed her.” She cuddled the squalling baby close and headed down the stairs.
“But, but…” Esther sputtered behind her.
When she was partway down, it occurred to her the house belonged to Esther and Martin. Her cheeks heated. How rude she’d been! For the past few days, she’d been living here as if it were her own home, freely using the kitchen and bedrooms. And now she was just waltzing down to the kitchen as if she had every right to be there. What must Esther think of her? Well, she already knew one answer to that question.
“Is it all right if I use the kitchen to fix the baby a bottle?” she called up to Esther.
Esther’s voice floated down the stairs, her tone bemused. “Of course.”
When Leah reached the kitchen, she stopped short. Martin sat at the table drinking a glass of water and sorting through the mail that had accumulated while they were gone.
He looked up, startled, at the bawling infant in Leah’s arms. “I thought I heard a baby, but I assumed it was in the office. My hearing must be getting worse.”
“I need to fix her a bottle if that’s all right.”
“Go right ahead, but whose baby is it?” He didn’t add, What are you and a newborn doing in our house? Yet his tone implied the question.
The baby is mine, she longed to answer. All mine. Well, and Kyle’s too. Instead, she said, “That’s what Kyle and I need to talk to you about.”
The doctor looked as puzzled as his wife had moments ago. “Is that what Kyle was nattering about before he ran off?”
“I imagine so. Esther seems to have gotten the wrong impression about us.” A flush of heat swept up her neck and splashed across her face. “I hope you’ll both let us explain.”
“Why don’t we do that while you’re feeding the baby? I’ll get Esther.” He went to the foot of the stairs and called up to his wife.
“I-I’d been hoping for more time,” Esther replied in a shaky voice. But a few minutes later, she descended the stairs as Leah removed the baby bottle from the pan of water on the stove.
“Are you all right, dear? You’re quite pale.” Martin rushed over and put an arm around her shoulders to lead her into the living room.
“I’m still in shock, I think. It came as quite a blow to find out I couldn’t trust Kyle.”
Yes, you can, Leah longed to tell her. The faster she went into the living room, the faster she’d clear up Esther’s misperceptions. Leah tested the bottle on her wrist and slid the nipple into the baby’s howling mouth. The little girl latched on and began sucking. Ahh, blessed silence.
On the counter, Kyle had left bags of baby products. Holding the bottle with one hand, Leah changed the baby’s diaper and slipped her into a sleeper. She should have washed it first, but she wanted the little one to be presentable.
When she entered the living room, Esther and Martin, their heads close together, looked up and stopped whispering. Martin’s grave face made it clear his wife had filled him in on her suspicions.
Leah sank into the chair across from Esther. Then cuddling the newborn close, she said, “This is a long story, but it might be best if I start with what happened on Monday.” Had it been less than a week ago? Leah’s exhausted body clamored that weeks had passed.
From their crossed arms and matching frowns, neither of the Hesses appeared to be in a receptive mood. Leah hoped by the end of her story, they’d wear looks of understanding and kindness.
She began with a brief account of the breech birth. The Groffs’ plight of MSUD elicited sympathy from both of them. Leah tried to describe the snow and dangerous roads on the way home but omitted Kyle’s suggestion she stay here.
“As we were driving, we found a pregnant teenager and brought her here. With Kyle’s help, I delivered this baby in an exam room.”
Dr. Hess interrupted with a flurry of questions about the delivery and how they’d managed. Leah fielded all of them, impatient to get back to the story and exonerate Kyle.
“The girl, who claimed her name was Mary, wanted nothing to do with caring for the baby.” Leah lifted the infant over her shoulder and patted her back. “We borrowed the formula samples and disposable diapers from the supply room, but we’ll replace them.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Esther said. “I’ll order more.” Her eyes filled with tears after Leah recounted wrapping the baby in Kyle’s T-shirts. “The poor little child.”
“Anyway,” Leah continued, “the roads were too treacherous to drive, so Kyle insisted the young mother and I stay here. He slept in the office. I hope it was all right for us to use the bedrooms.”
“Of course. Our home is always open to those in need.”
“It’s been a rough few days. I hoped I’d convince the young mother to love and care for the baby, but I failed.”
“I assume that means you’ve been doing it all.” Esther’s eyes grew distant. “I remember those days. The bone weariness, confusion, trudging through each day half-awake.” As if realizing she’d begun rambling, she snapped her mouth shut and motioned for Leah to go on.
“Kyle helped.” At Esther’s raised eyebrows, Leah hastened on. “We made sure we were never alone together. Until today.”
Esther’s brow furrowed, and she nibbled on her lower lip.
“I went in to check on Mary and found this.” Leah reached for the note she’d left on the table and passed it to Esther and Martin.
They read it in silence, and Leah waited until they looked up again. “I must have screamed, because Kyle raced upstairs. I showed him the note, and we were trying to decide what to do when you arrived.”
From Esther’s steely gaze, she was weighing Leah’s words, searching her eyes and body language to be sure she was telling the truth.
Leah needed to clear up one more thing. “About the bedcovers…I’m sorry they were so messy, but Mary slept in there, and she refused to clean up after herself or make her bed. I would have done that if I’d had time.”
Esther glanced at Martin, and he nodded and took her hand. Was that a sign he believed Leah’s account?
Esther bent her head and reread the note. “What does she mean by this?” She tapped her finger on the paper. “She says she could tell you were in love with each other.”
“I expect she mistook our working together in harmony as something more. Or perhaps it was wishful thinking on her part, wanting to have two parents for the baby.”
The answer made Leah ache inside. Although she could never have a relationship with an Englischer, it hurt that they’d never be able to share the baby or their lives.
Esther studied Leah for a short while before saying, “I owe you both an apology for jumping to conclusions and misjudging you. Will you forgive me?”
“Of course.” Leah bent forward to accept Esther’s outstretched hand.
Esther squeezed her hand a few times, then let go. “I imagine you’re dazed and exhausted. I remember those days from Timothy—I mean Kyle.”
The sadness in her eyes as she spoke about the past made Leah ache for her. How hard it must have been to give up the baby she loved.
Martin cleared his throat. “So what are your plans for the baby?”
“I…I don’t know.” That wasn’t entirely true. She longed to keep this baby, love her, raise her. But if the mother changed her mind, she’d have to give up her dreams. The same way she’d been struggling to accept not having any children.
Esther and Martin both stared at her, waiting for her to continue.
“Kyle went out to see if he can find the baby’s mother,” she said, trying to conceal her misery at the prospect of finding the young teen.
The door opened, and Kyle entered. Alone. Leah’s heart leapt. He hadn’t found Mary. But her racing pulse wasn’t only relief at that fact. She’d been sleepwalking through the past few days and hadn’t had time to even look at Kyle, to admire his rugged good looks, the strength of his jaw, the…Leah stopped herself. She had no right to be thinking things like that. For the past few days, she’d been close enough to see his strength of character, his calmness under pressure, his kind and generous spirit, his love for babies, his tenderness toward her and the new mother…
She forced herself to tune back in to the conversation. Kyle had removed his boots and winter coat. In his stocking feet, he padded to the chair across from her and sought her eyes.
“Leah, I’m sorry. I didn’t find her. A few times I saw footprints in the snow and followed them, but they all led to a dead end. I checked the woods where we found her. The snow there remained untouched.”
Although Leah prayed Mary was safe, she couldn’t help hoping they’d never find her. If they didn’t, the baby would be hers, wouldn’t it?
“I inquired at several houses, but nobody recalled a pregnant Amish teen living in this neighborhood. I guess it’s time to call the police.”
Leah gasped. “The police? Why would we do that?”
“They have better search capabilities.”
“You can’t do that.” Leah’s shrill voice startled the baby, who whimpered. “She asked us not to search for her. And won’t they arrest her for abandoning her baby?”
“Not necessarily,” Dr. Hess said. “The state has a safe-haven law that allows new mothers to leave their babies at a hospital or with a police officer within twenty-eight days of birth. A few of my unwed or teen mothers have done that.”
“We should definitely track her down before that time is up,” Kyle said.
“Won’t the baby go into foster care, then?” Leah couldn’t lose her only chance to have a child. She hugged the infant close. “I don’t want to lose her.”
“Oh, honey, you aren’t really thinking of keeping her.” Compassion in her gaze, Esther leaned forward in her chair. “Caring for a little one is exhausting, and doing it alone makes it even harder. What would you do with her when you’re called out to deliveries?”
“I don’t know,” Leah admitted. “I’ll figure it out.”
Esther shook her head. “Best to get this child back to her family. If she’s Amish, the teen’s parents will raise her. Don’t worry—you’ll soon be married and have plenty of babies of your own.”
“No, I won’t.”