“Would you look at that line.” Kaxem whistled.
“I told you there was something going on.” Rebop pumped his wings once in triumph.
Below the circling dragons, rose a multi-turreted castle on a hill surrounded by a thick forest of pine trees. Noonday sunlight sparkled on the castle’s white stone walls. Bright yellow flags snapped and sputtered from the highest spires.
And from the main gate, across the drawbridge, down and around the hill, and into the forest, stretched a line of creatures ranging from the lowliest gnome to the highest ranking elf, from shining knights to common farmers, from ogres and trolls to fairies and pixies.
Each awaiting their chance to wake the princess.
“Rebop.” Kaxem looked skeptically at the crowd. “That line is not moving. We could be here for a month.”
“In all honesty, I thought there’d be a weeding out process. You know. Like a challenge of some sort. Then, only the ones who passed had a chance to wake up the princess.”
“Maybe we had better ask one of those people. Perhaps there is a challenge and these are the ones that passed.”
“Awfully easy challenge, then,” Rebop mumbled as they began their descent.
* * *
“Pardon me.” Rebop tapped the leprechaun on the shoulder.
“What?” The leprechaun turned, looked up, and took two steps backward, letting out a high-pitched screech. “Well!” he huffed indignantly, straightening his red cap. “And what would you be doing here, you giant lizard?”
“No need to be rude.” Rebop bristled, the spikes along his spine rising and falling in an irritated wave.
Kaxem had never been very fond of leprechauns either. But they did need answers, and the leprechaun was the last one in line.
The leprechaun pointed a finger at Rebop. “You should have announced yer mass before sneaking up on a person like that.”
“Mass! What do you mean calling me Mass?”
Kaxem placed a restraining claw on his friend’s forearm. “He just meant your size.”
“So what brings yer kind to this event?” The leprechaun continued to glare at Rebop while he straightened his green tunic and made a show of brushing dirt from his sleeve.
“Is this the line to wake up the princess?” Kaxem asked, trying a smile to get them back on track. The smile only started the leprechaun shuddering. Kaxem let the expression drop. Dragon smiles were an acquired taste.
“Aye, yer in the right line,” the leprechaun said, staring up at them from the side of his eyes. “And at the right end I might add. Pretty quick for dragons, aren’t you?”
Kaxem took a calming breath.
Rebop returned the leprechaun’s glare, his brow ridges coming down low over his whirling purple eyes. “I don’t like the little fellow much, Kaxem. What say I step on him. Then we’d be one up in line.”
The leprechaun blanched, took another step backward and bumped into the troll standing behind him.
“Watch it, dwarf,” the troll growled, then turned forward again to continue his quiet waiting.
The leprechaun stepped away from the troll, wisely not pointing out the troll’s mistake. Looking back at the dragons, he caught their toothy smiles and huffed to himself in quiet, offended mumbles. Then turned his back on them and faced the back of the troll’s over-large thigh.
“I’ve never met such a rude leprechaun,” Rebop said, a statement that was blatantly untrue. “Do you think he could have passed the test to get in to see the princess?”
“I don’t know. Maybe this line leads to the test, then from there those who pass go on to see the princess?”
“Awfully complicated,” Rebop said.
“Or maybe the line is the test,” a new voice said.
Rebop and Kaxem both turned to see a human woman who had walked up behind them unnoticed. Her long red hair hung in two plaits, one over each shoulder of her green leather tunic, and her pale skin looked a little greenish in the dabbled sunlight spilling down through the trees.
“Now there’s an interesting notion.” Kaxem scratched his jaw. “I’ve never read of anything like that before.” A line as a test? Fascinating idea.
“Just a thought.” The red-haired human shrugged. “I don’t really know for sure one way or the other. By the way, my name is Gretta.”
“I’m Kaxem, and this is my friend Rebop.”
“Rebop.” The human frowned. “That’s a strange name for a dragon.”
“I was named after my mother’s grandfather,” Rebop answered pleasantly.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you both,” Gretta said with a crooked smile.
Kaxem frowned at Rebop, who he’d known for almost a century now. “I never knew you were named after your great-grandfather. I just thought your mother was a little weird.”
“Oh, no. She was just very fond of her grandfather. Gretta, what brings you to this line? Are you going to try waking up the princess?”
“Actually, I’m just a sort of pack mule. I’ve brought a prospective with me from over the mountains.” She turned to show the black leather backpack she wore.
“What do you have in there, some sort of trick to wake the princess?” Rebop poked the pack with one sharp talon.
“Watch that poking!” a muffled shout came from inside the pack, and a small head appeared over the top. The little man had long brown hair and a brown beard that disappeared down into the pack, with dark brown eyes in the middle of a brown face. He scowled up at the blue-scaled face that loomed over him. “Do you mind?”
“What in the two worlds is that?” Rebop asked Gretta.
“I can very well answer for myself. I am Drekel O’Gram, dwarf of the Octimom Mount.”
“He’s going to try waking up the princess,” Gretta supplied.
“You are exceptionally good at stating the obvious.” Drekel huffed, the grunt making his mustache bounce.
“Seems a bit small for a dwarf,” Rebop said.
Kaxem was more interested in the whys. “Why on the two worlds would a dwarf want to wake up a human princess?”
“Same reason as all the rest of you grubbers,” the dwarf shouted. “The reward! Gold beyond even a dwarf’s dreams.”
“That’s a lot of gold,” Rebop said, helpfully.
Drekel glared at him. “And all of my people are this size. In fact, I’m tall among my clan.”
“Are you sure about this reward?” Kaxem asked.
“Of course, you giant tomato. Why else would anyone travel all the way to Polsidia to wake up a human?”
“I am not red,” Kaxem said primly. “I’m burnt sienna.”
“You’re a fool like the rest of these grubbers. None of you stand a chance of wakin’ that girl,” Drekel shouted.
Those hopefuls within hearing range grumbled rude replies, then returned to their silent vigil.
“Do you know the secret to waking her up?” Rebop asked with genuine interest.
“Don’t pay too much attention to him,” Gretta said pleasantly. “He talks big, but he doesn’t know any more than the rest.”
“Gretta. Would you kindly keep your overworked mouth shut!” Drekel snarled.
“Oh hush up, you old grouch. I may have to carry you around, but I don’t have to put up with your ego or your surly temperament.”
“Humph!” Drekel grunted, turning his back as best he could on Gretta and the two dragons.
Gretta smiled.
Rebop asked the obvious question. “Why do you have to carry a dwarf around?”
“Lost a bet.” She shrugged. “Do you have any ideas about waking up the princess?”
“I thought maybe a kiss would work.”
Kaxem shivered at the thought. Such a gross idea. The germs!
“Possibly,” Gretta said, nodding thoughtfully. “But wouldn’t you need lips?” She looked pointedly at the two dragons’ large, teeth-filled, lipless mouths.
Kaxem and Rebop looked at each other, then back at the human.
“I forgot about lips,” Rebop said.
“That’s okay,” Gretta said. “I mean, everyone has probably already thought about a kiss anyway. Everything nowadays is cured with a kiss. I can’t imagine this line would still be this long if all it took was a kiss to wake her.”
“Maybe the kiss has to come from someone specific,” Kaxem piped in. The circumstances were not much to his liking, but he could never resist a theoretical discussion.
“Maybe the answer’s in this book,” Rebop said, presenting a book for the group to see.
“102 Ways to Wake Up a Sleep Spelled Princess,” Gretta read the title. “Bit on the nose. But I like it.”
“Where’d you get that?” Kaxem gaped at his friend.
“From your stacks. It’s the book I asked to borrow. Remember?”
“Oh, yes, of course. I’d forgotten about that.” He frowned, his brow ridges drawing down deeply enough, his eyes narrowed. “You know, I didn’t realize I had a book titled 102 Ways to Wake Up a Sleep Spelled Princess.” He prided himself on keeping track of his hoard, but honestly, at this stage, things did slip through. That’s why he needed to reorganize everything every once in a while. Looked like it was time for a newer categorization system.
“Maybe you should start keeping a list of all the books you have,” Rebop offered helpfully.
Kaxem scowled. He did keep a list. In his head. His scowl softened. Actually, a written list did sound like a good idea. It might take time, but he’d have an even better system for organizing his books then.
“I’ll consider that when we get home,” he said. “In the meantime, I say we look over the hundred and two ways to wake up a princess and see if one applies to our situation.”
“But how do we know which will apply to our situation, when we’re not exactly sure what ‘our’ situation is?” Gretta wrinkled her brow and curled one side of her mouth up.
“You’re right, of course,” Kaxem said, a little embarrassed a human had had to point that out. Good thing dragons didn’t blush. He straightened his shoulders and fluttered his wings a little to make himself look larger and more important. “First, we must assess exactly what our situation is. Now, what facts do we have?”
“Well, we know there’s a princess,” Rebop said.
“And we know she’s asleep,” Gretta added.
“Brilliant!” Drekel exclaimed from the depths of the black backpack. “With so much intellect at work, you’ll have the problem solved any minute now.”
Everyone ignored the dwarf.
“We’re also pretty sure she’s a human princess,” Kaxem continued. “That should narrow things a bit. How is the book arranged, Rebop?”
“There are individual sections, but they’re divided by spellcasters not castees. We have to know who put the princess to sleep.”
“That’s easy.” Gretta brightened. “Don’t you fellas keep up with your history. The Polsidian royal family of Manicno has been plagued by the same evil witch for the past two centuries. Every couple of decades or so, someone in the royal family manages to insult her, and she doles out some spell or other as punishment. One story claims she sent thousands of warty toads to overrun the castle.” Gretta shuddered. At Rebop’s wide-eye, silent question, she said, “I do not like toads.”
“You’re sure the spellcaster is an evil witch and not a fairy or sprite or something, right?” Kaxem asked.
“Positive. She’s definitely an evil witch.”
“Let me see.” Rebop ran his talon down the books table of content. “Evil witch, evil witch… Ah! Here we are. Evil Witch. So we have: Poisoned Apple, Pricked Finger, Scented Rose…,” Rebop read the subsections.
“Too bad there’s not a general spell for waking a human sleep-spelled princess,” Kaxem said.
“‘General Spell for Waking a Human Sleep-Spelled Princess’,” Rebop read.
“Marvelous.” And surprisingly convenient. “That makes this a lot simpler.”
“Page two hundred and sixty-four.” Rebop began flipping pages.
“Page two hundred and sixty-four,” Gretta exclaimed. “But there are only a hundred and two spells in that book. Why so many pages?”
“Oh, well, there’s a lot of background information.” Rebop angled the book for Gretta. “See, this chapter begins with a short description of ‘Evil Witch,’ then goes on to discuss possible motivations, psychology, variations, mistakes, etc.”
“Each spell may take up more than one page also,” Kaxem added. He simply loved spells. Spell books were one of his favorites for adding to his hoard.
“So what does the ‘General Spell for Waking a Human Sleep-Spelled Princess’ have to say?” Gretta asked.
“Yes, how does it work?” Drekel said, twisting around in the backpack to look over Gretta’s shoulder, suddenly very interested.
“Hold on, now.” Rebop pulled the book back against his massive, blue-scaled chest. “Why should we share this with you, dwarf? I mean if there is a reward, you might try to cheat us out of it.”
“The book is mine, after all.” Kaxem took a half step toward the dwarf.
“Now just hold on.” Drekel held up his little hands to ward off the glares of the two dragons. “What would you two say to a deal? We could share what’s in the book and then split the reward.”
“And why would we want to do that? The book is ours. We could have the whole reward.” Rebop smiled at his own cunning.
Kaxem gave him a little pat on the back above his wings in encouragement.
“Yes,” the dwarf said, “but then you’d be waiting in this line all day and probably well into tomorrow.” Drekel grinned and paused for effect. “But I have a way for all of us to get to the front of this line in a snap.”