I never got to meet my paternal great-grandmother, but she used to say to my father, ‘Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves.’ He passed that little piece of wisdom on to me, and now it’s something I try to live by.

How often do you think, Oh, so what, it’s only $X? Or, I can’t be bothered, or, That saving isn’t worth my time . . .? I know I do it more than I like to admit.

With our cashless society – particularly now with options like tap-and-go, payWave, Apple Pay, bitcoin and Mobile Money – we burn through money like there’s no tomorrow. Getting into credit card debt is disturbingly easy and fast as we swipe, tap or beep away our hard-earned dollars.

Stepping back to pause, reflect and honestly look at the way we spend money can be incredibly insightful. If we are open to the truth, it can give us a powerful understanding into what we value, what we don’t value, and why.

With this deeper understanding of ourselves and our finances, we can then make better and more rewarding purchases, ones that suit us better and give us more fulfilment. And, most importantly, we can reduce or avoid those regretted expensive purchases.

As I mentioned in chapter three, I call this ‘money mindfulness’.

For example, we now live in a world where a lot of us (including myself ) outsource many things without even thinking about it. House cleaning, gardening, cooking, ironing, maintenance . . . You only need to read the tasks posted on websites such as Airtasker to see how time-poor – or possibly lazy! – we’ve become. (Again, I wholeheartedly include myself in this!)

Only the other day I was thinking of putting a call out on Airtasker for a handyman or woman to come over and fix a few things around my house that I’d been procrastinating about for way too long. I justified this to myself by thinking I’d kill a few birds with one stone and get some weeding done in my garden while they were here.

Just as I was about to post the task, I stopped – I knew I’d caught myself red-handed. I deleted the ad, and the next day, Rocco and I headed to our local hardware store and purchased the items that we needed to fix everything ourselves. I watched tutorials on YouTube so that I knew what I was doing, and I explained to the shop assistant at the hardware store what I was trying to fix so that he could advise me accordingly. Then we successfully fixed everything ourselves!

I actually felt a little embarrassed about how simple these tasks were to complete, and that I’d been prepared to pay someone to do them for me. But I also had a feeling of pride and satisfaction in seeing what I’d accomplished all by myself.

Even the weeding of the garden was enjoyable. It was cathartic, working with nature, seeing the deep, strong roots of the weeds pulled out by my hands – and being covered in dirt felt like fun! I was like a child again and Rocco was in heaven as we cleared space for new herbs to be planted and nurtured. Such a simple thing, but it gave me strong feelings of fulfilment and pleasure.

GET TO THE HEART OF YOUR SPENDING

If you want to have a go at truly understanding your habits around money, I recommend that for at least thirty days you pay for everything in cash. And every time you buy something, write it down in a diary or notebook. Then review it at the end of the day, the end of the week and the end of the thirty days.

You’ll get a shock when you see how those little things add up, and it’ll give you a massive wake-up call about how unconscious you are about money and consumption. Paying for things in cash, physically handing the money over and seeing $50 notes break down into smaller and smaller denominations, forces you to stop and question. Are you really buying the item because you need it or genuinely want it?

This has been called the ‘flinch moment’, and was first documented by Drazen Prelec, a professor of economics at MIT. He discovered that paying for items in cold, hard cash causes physical pain. Therefore we avoid paying out as much.

I know people who have done the financial journaling thirty-day exercise and gained such a love for the insight and understanding about themselves that they kept up the journaling beyond the thirty days, and continue to pay for things in cash. They’ve found it gives them so much more control and helps to form a healthy habit system around money, preventing toxic spending from sliding back into their lives.

I remember going through a short (thank goodness) phase in my life when my designer-clothes shopping got a little out of control. The truth was that I wasn’t happy at home, and the respect, warmth and acknowledgment of the lovely shop assistants at my favourite stores, combined with the feeling of putting on a fresh, new, beautiful item of clothing, gave me a short-term fix.

Fortunately, I paid attention to the guilt that I experienced after shopping like this, and spent some time reflecting on and understanding my triggers. I learnt how to manage those feelings in more constructive ways, saving myself time and money.

DEFINE YOUR VALUE SYSTEM

When I was doing the $1000 Project, even little savings helped me get closer and closer to my goal. Sometimes there were tiny savings that most people would laugh at or not worry about, but to me, they were valuable. They represented progress and contributed to my feeling of momentum. However, everyone has different value systems when it comes to money, and we need to respect each other’s. For example, one person may value an expensive membership to a sports club, which some could see as being snobby. But to that individual, being part of that club could represent having a place to disconnect, to recharge their batteries, and to socialise with people with whom they share a common passion.

The same goes for clothes. Some people think of fashion as a shallow pursuit, while others really value the creative process of putting together an outfit, appreciating the workmanship, style and cut, and how the clothes and accessories make them feel in the process of getting ‘dressed up’.

It doesn’t matter if your value system includes wine, art, cars, clothes, designer handbags (me!), special restaurants or holidays filled with adventure. As long as there is genuine appreciation, mindfulness, gratitude and, most importantly, an understanding of why you feel it necessary to spend money on that particular item, service or experience, it’s perfectly acceptable.

I feel that if we could sometimes stop and try to understand each other’s value systems a little more deeply, with an open mind and heart, we’d have less stress and pressure and fewer arguments about the way we handle money.

While I was doing my $1000 Project, my cleaner (yes, shock horror, I am supposed to be wise and frugal with money but I have a cleaner!) had to stop work due to medical reasons. She offered to help me find someone who could cover her while she focused on her recovery, but I decided to do the household cleaning myself and put the savings towards the $1000 Project.

During that period, I saved $3000, which to me was a lot of money. I became really good at cleaning – I actually became almost neurotic about it! And I made a much bigger effort to try to maintain the cleanliness for as long as possible, after putting my own blood, sweat and tears into scrubbing the bathroom floor.

Over time, though, I realised how much I valued paying for a cleaner. I was missing out on quality time with Rocco while I was furiously pushing the vacuum around his feet, and I was exhausting myself. So, even though I’d saved a small fortune, I re-hired my cleaner and now pay for this service with absolute joy and gratitude. By going through this mindful and reflective process, I gained insight into my own personal value system.

Of course, there needs to be a strong sense of balance, and you have to work out exactly what your priorities are. Be selective, focus on what’s really special to you, and make sure you’re only spending on things that you love. The fewer there are, the more you will treasure them.

START TO SAVE!

So, as well as finding ways to earn extra money, you can find ways to save money which you can then put towards your $1000 Project. From little things like taking lunch to work one day a week instead of buying it, to big things like skipping (or maybe downsizing) your annual holiday – there are plenty of ways to help free up extra cash in your life.

Here’s a list of ideas to save money that I brainstormed for myself, to help you kick off your own saving ideas.

MONEY-SAVING IDEAS

MAKE THE SAVINGS COUNT

To make your savings count towards the $1000 Project account, you actually have to be quite organised and proactive when you save money, otherwise those savings can disappear. Every time you create savings from changing your spending habits, or when blessings and unexpected savings fall into your lap, you must transfer that amount into your dedicated account.

When I was a child growing up, my family only went to restaurants on special occasions, such as birthdays or Mother’s Day. It was something that we got excited about – we’d even get dressed up for something as ‘fancy’ as our local Chinese restaurant!

These days, a lot of us go to a restaurant once a week – at least. And we don’t even give it a thought. It’s not for special occasions, but to catch up with friends, or because we simply cannot be bothered to cook or clean up. (Yes, I am also very guilty here.)

When I thought about how this change has affected my own life, I couldn’t help but think that I had started to take this luxury for granted. Don’t get me wrong, I love going to a restaurant and not having to buy ingredients, cook or clean up – but when did I lose my perspective?

Some of my best memories of meals have nothing to do with the location – they’re more about the connection or bond that I was experiencing with the people around me. Hysterical laughing, shoulders to cry on, inspiring stories shared; listening to people, hearing people. Creating moments with people that I love and treasure. I don’t need to spend money for any of this.

Now I make a conscious and greater effort to cook meals at home: special meals, where I put care and thought in for the people that I’m preparing the food for. And I try to enjoy the process. Setting the table, switching off all distractions, maybe even having a nice glass of wine . . . I get Rocco involved, too, and we use it as a bonding experience, with the double benefit that not only do we both see it as quality time together, learning new skills and making what I call ‘creative happy mess’, he is also more enthusiastic about trying new foods if he’s cooked them himself (including green vegetables!).

The feeling of gratitude and pride increases the return on the time and effort involved, too (cleaning up time included). That feeling of slowly getting better at something and knowing that you put in an effort rather than paying for effort is valuable and long-lasting.

FRUGAL FEBRUARY AND MANIFESTING MARCH

While brainstorming ways to manifest my parcels of $1000, I had a light bulb moment – the idea of being a massive tight-arse for a month and seeing what I could save. As it was February, I called this challenge ‘Frugal February’, and viewed it as a month of financially detoxing or even dieting.

I was excited and also relieved, as I’d been secretly craving a ‘right’ or ‘good enough’ reason to say no to elaborate events and unnecessary expenses. And at the end of the month, my bank balance would hopefully be fatter! The $1000 Project was the perfect excuse.

The first time I did Frugal February was insightful. I learnt more about my value system than ever before. Having home-cooked meals, movie nights at home, going for walks in the parks rather than to cafes and bars – I spent more time in nature and with the people I loved. It made me grow as a person.

I also learnt my weaknesses and danger zones, and created distractions and self-discipline strategies to deal with them, like staying off my favourite fashion websites on my phone before going to bed and not going to shopping malls on the weekends. Even little things made a difference, like forcing myself to eat a meal before heading out so I could avoid my usual ‘coffee and muffin’ pit stop, which was adding up each week.

As usual, I shared my experiences and discoveries on my YouTube channel, and if you watch the videos, you can see that I was riding an emotional roller-coaster.

Frugal February was a process of great self-discovery. However, the second time around was different. A year later, when February was approaching, a subscriber asked via Instagram, ‘Will you be doing Frugal February again?’ I thought, Yes, of course!

Before I knew it, I was in the thick of February and cursing every minute.

It was a different experience. I was angry, frustrated and in a completely wrong and somewhat toxic headspace. I was depriving myself of fun and enjoyable things, and it felt like I was punishing myself. When I did occasionally splash out and get something small for myself, I would beat myself up.

Then I had another light bulb moment. I went back to watch one of my most popular videos, called ‘How to Manifest Money’. Now, I know this sounds crazy, but I’ve always had a spiritual belief about money and how it flows. This is something that I’ve believed from a young age, and I’ve seen it play out in many different circumstances, not just for me but for the people around me.

The key is to look at money as energy, and to be open to the flow of money. You respect and appreciate it, particularly when it flows in towards you, and show gratitude to what it helps you create. You need to use your words and thoughts in a positive and considerate manner and stop to appreciate the little inflows of money just as much as the tidal waves.

After watching the video again and understanding why this round of Frugal February was backfiring on me, I decided that after February was finished, I would try ‘Manifesting March’.

On the 1st of March, I started applying my own principles, and not only did my attitude and energy go to the next level, I also felt so much happier and more positive about the world and my future. I had a sense of trust, connection and natural, deep appreciation. Even paying my utilities bill was a positive experience.

Within a few weeks, things were shifting. Exciting business opportunities started to flow in, ideas to raise more money for the $1000 Project dropped into my head in the middle of the night – and the opportunity to create this book opened up. Even when negative things happened, like the day I got a parking ticket, I didn’t mind, because I was at peace and accepting the flow of money, not just for myself but for others as well. I felt a deeper connection to the world and people around me.

So, if you’re going to do the $1000 Project, I encourage you to have a go at both Frugal February and Manifesting March and see what you discover. See what you can learn, how much more aware you can become, and how much you can grow.