5

Nick arrived just before two and set about the pile of pans. He took comfort in the fact there weren’t a pile of plates to go with them today. Alone in the kitchen, he was disturbed by a gravelly voice from the other side of the counter.

“Got any coffee, mate?”

He turned with a smile. “Sure.” He recognized the man instantly. Even with the scruffy beard, beanie hat pulled down over his head, and huge oversized padded jacket, he was the undercover cop from church. “With or without milk.”

“However it comes.” DS Painter held out a hand with dirty, broken nails. “Simon. You must be the priest who saved that child.”

Nick shook his hand and then poured the coffee. “I’m not a priest. I prefer pastor, but yeah, I am.”

The man leaned in. “You need to keep away from her mother, Pastor. She’s under investigation.”

Nick tried not to show his surprise. “Really?”

The cop nodded. “The DSS fired her. Oh, the official word is suspended, but its way more than that with the charges leveled against her.”

It didn’t take long for Nick to work out DSS was the Department of Social Services. “Is Angel in danger?”

“If she was, they’d have taken her into care. They still might, depending how things go.” He took the coffee and stood upright. “Thanks for this.”

“Welcome.” Nick turned back to the sink, confused. That would explain Hope losing her job this close to Christmas, but what charges could they possibly have leveled at her? He longed to ask more, but to do so would be to put the cop in danger of being exposed.

Perhaps Hope would tell him herself over dinner tonight. Maybe between them they could put right whatever had gone wrong. He didn’t believe for a moment that she could have done anything that would endanger anyone.

****

Hope let Angel sit by the window and then slid into the seat beside her. The restaurant Nick had chosen was busy. It also did Nepalese food as well as English, something she hadn’t expected. But then being a single mum, going out in the evening didn’t happen much and if it did, then it was fast food.

Nick sat opposite and handed Angel a menu. “You can have whatever you like from the kids section,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “With one of those ice creams in a glass dish after.”

Angel looked at him with her mouth open. “Really?”

He nodded. “You too, Hope. My treat.”

She pursed her lips, trying not to laugh. “The kids menu or the ice cream?”

“Both.” He winked. “Have whatever you like from anywhere on the menu.”

The tinsel around the pictures, the carols playing over the speaker system and the Christmas tree twinkling in the corner mocked her. She didn’t need a reminder that it was another Christmas without her family.

Raising the menu card to her face, Hope took a deep breath. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes. This was far harder than it should be. Being here, with a bloke was such a normal thing for most people. Something she’d always longed for herself. Deep breath, Hope. Just enjoy tonight for what it is. But he’s a preacher. And you’re… She shook her head, breaking off the thought. That part of her was long since dead and buried. It was in the past. But it will prevent him from wanting anything to do with you.

Nick touched her hand, the warmness shooting ripples through her entire body. “What are you having?”

“I think a salad,” she said. This treat was for Angel and she shouldn’t take advantage.

“Salad in December?” He shook his head. “Please, have more than that. Otherwise I’m going to look a right pig with my lamb chili masala. What are you having, Angel?”

“Sausages, chips, and beans,” she said. “An’ chocolate milkshake.”

Nick winked. “Maybe we order the same for Mummy.”

“Mummy says beans are evil. They make her sick. The only beans she likes are coffee beans, but the coffee in the jar ain’t beans at all.”

“Isn’t, not ain’t,” Hope corrected automatically. “Give me a sec and I’ll pick something else.” She looked back at the menu. Spoiled for choice, everything looked so good. “Never tried Nepalese, so I think I’ll stick with the English tonight. Chicken, chips, and salad. With a mug of tea.”

Nick chuckled. “You and your salad. I shall go and order. Back in a sec.” He strode to the counter with long, confident steps.

“I like him,” Angel said. “Are you going to marry him?”

Hope raised an eyebrow, the innocent words ricocheting through her. “Wherever did you get an idea like that from?”

“School. Toby’s mummy got married last weekend. He was a page boy. I want to be a page boy.”

“Girls can’t be page boys. But I’m not getting married.”

“Why?”

“Why, what?” Nick asked, putting the tray of drinks on the table.

“Why aren’t you and Mummy getting married? She’s never been married and I’m the only one in my class now who doesn’t have a daddy at all.”

Hope’s cheeks burned. “Angel, that’s enough.”

“It’s a fair question.” He sat down and gave Angel her milkshake. Then, he put a mug of tea in front of Hope. “Let me see. When people get married it’s because they love each other. Marriage isn’t something you jump into. You find someone you like, and you go on lots of dates—”

“Like this?” Angel studied him intently.

Hope sighed. She knew that look, and her daughter, all too well.

“Kind of,” Nick said. “But you don’t normally take kids on dates. And you really have to get to know the other person in order to find out if God wants you together.” He picked up his tea. “So, what did you do in school today?”

“We made calendars, and we started learning the Christmas play. It’s called Snowmen at Sunset, and I’m a penguin. Do you want to hear the song we have to sing? I can do it without the actions.”

“Sure.”

Angel began singing. “To do the penguin waddle…”

Hope shot Nick a grateful look for changing the subject. “Sorry,” she mouthed.

“It’s fine,” he mouthed back.

The tea was steaming and Hope put several spoons of sugar in, before wrapping her hands around it. She closed her eyes and sipped. It tasted so good that it could have been nectar rather than tea. She took several deep mouthfuls, draining the mug, then looked at Nick. “Thank you. I needed that. It’s been a long day with no time to stop.”

“Welcome. Would you like another?”

“Please.”

He took her cup and headed back to the counter.

“You’ll ruin your dinner,” Angel told her.

Hope flicked her daughter’s nose. “No, I won’t. And you need to learn to mind your manners. You don’t ask things like that.”

“Why?”

She let out a deep, slow breath. “It’s rude. And rude girls don’t get any pudding.”

“But Pastor Nick said…”

“And don’t answer back.”

Angel’s face fell.

Hope leaned in and kissed her forehead. “But remember I love you no matter what.”

Nick came back with her tea.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. The food will be over in a few minutes.”

She held the mug, letting the heat seep into her frozen fingers. She hadn’t been warm since they’d left the flat.

“Penny for them. You seem quiet and distracted tonight.”

Hope traced the rim of her cup with her finger. She looked up at the dark-eyed pastor sitting opposite her. “What do you want to know?”

Angel fidgeted on her seat. “Need a wee.”

Hope moved to let her out. “Don’t be long.”

Angel ran over to the ladies room

Hope wondered if he’d heard on the grapevine about why she’d been evicted. How many people knew about the trouble she was in and the false allegations made against her?

His clear gaze held her captive. “I just want to get to know the real you, that’s all.”

“And what if you find the real me isn’t worth knowing?”

“Then this non-existent wedding is off.” He winked. “Seriously, Hope, it’s a big drop from that flat to a homeless shelter.” He paused. “If you’d like to talk about it—? I won’t condemn you, but you may find I can help in some way.”

“What have you heard?” she asked quickly. “Has anyone said anything?”

“Not in so many words,” he said.

Hope looked down at her hands. “Because none of its true,” she said defensively. “It may have been once upon a time, well part of it, but that was a long time ago and people change. But the rest of it is a pack of lies, not that anyone will ever believe me. I’ll just be blamed for the rest of my life.”

“Nothing is unforgivable, Hope.”

“In your world maybe, but in mine?” She fell quiet.

“Silent Night” played from the hidden speakers.

She shuddered. She used to love Christmas, now the words of the carols just pointed the finger at her.

Angel came skipping back just as the food arrived.

Hope let her back in and closed her eyes as Nick said grace.

Nick picked up his knife and fork. “How about I tell you a bit about me and then we go from there?”

“OK.” She tucked the serviette into Angel’s jumper.

“I’m twenty-six, have one brother, a sister, two parents. Ex-army, I’m the assistant pastor at Headley Baptist. I listen to classical music, play rugby, and the violin. We normally spend Christmas together, but this year everyone else is on a cruise in the Caribbean or skiing in the States somewhere. So it’s just me. I was planning on spending Christmas Day at the shelter dishing up dinner and wearing one of those paper crowns all day. Once I’ve been to church, that is.”

“You’re doing the Christmas Day service?”

He shook his head and ate a mouthful of his meal. He waved his fork. “I’m preaching the Sunday before Christmas in the morning. You could come along, bring Angel. And then there’s the carol service in the evening.”

“Can we?” Angel asked. “I like singing carols.”

“We’ll see.” Hope shook her head. It wasn’t fair to ask in front of Angel, but she wouldn’t say as much.

“So, your turn.”

“It’s just me and Angel.”

Nick looked at her. “No parents? Siblings? Long lost aunt?”

Hope looked down, her stomach turning. The statement bothered her, maybe because she didn’t have to be on her own with Angel. Maybe her family did still love her. She wasn’t telling him the full truth. But after all she’d done, what was one more infraction on top of her countless sins? She was damned regardless. Her past saw to that.

Nick picked up his mug. “See, I think there must be someone else, somewhere. A work colleague or friend. What I can’t work out is why you didn’t turn to them for help.”

“I couldn’t.”

“If I had to guess, I’d say you have two parents, one brother, one sister, a dog, and a hamster, and a man who was fool enough to let you go somehow. Am I close?”

Her cheeks flamed. “It was a guinea pig, and I have two parents, one brother, and two sisters. They live in Ely; or they did. I also have an aunt who lives here in town. She owns a florist in Carnation Street, but I haven’t seen her in years.” Tears filled her eyes again, and her fingers tangled in her necklace. She needed to get out of here. She tried to get up, but found herself rooted to the chair. Something was prodding her to talk to him.

A Voice in her head, a gentle One, telling her to trust him, let him help her.

“Do your parents know where you are?”

“I haven’t seen them for over nine years.” Hope’s voice wobbled.

“That’s a long time. Can I call them for you?”

She shook her head. She concentrated on her food, hoping he’d drop the subject.

“My mum would be frantic if she didn’t know where I was. She’d get an A.P.B. put out and call the cavalry. Surely you can’t have messed up so much they’d stop loving you?”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“But I’d like to.”

“Trust me, you wouldn’t.” She glanced sideways at Angel, who was paying far too much attention to the conversation. “Little ears.”

He nodded. “OK, we’ll talk later.”