Chapter Twenty-Nine

Ben

The English Department is the first stop I make when I get back to Arlington. I want to go straight to Hannah, but I’m still empty-handed. As long as I’ve known her, she’s seen the very best version of me, even when I didn’t believe that guy existed. I’m doing everything I can to bring him back to life, but I don’t want to just tell her I’m different, I need to show her. And for that, there are a few things I need to do first.

I catch Professor Donnelly right between classes. It’s a madhouse, with students pushing their way out of class as others try to push their way in. I squeeze behind a guy and reach Donnelly as he puts his notes back into his briefcase.

“Hey, Professor Donnelly, can I talk to you for a minute?”

The professor looks up and smiles at me. “Only a minute, I’m afraid. Class starts soon.”

“Right. Sorry. It’s about grad school next year.”

He nods. “You submitted your application, didn’t you?”

“I did.” That was my first act of rebellion, sending that application in on Thanksgiving Day. Here I am, finally seeing it through.

“Then there’s nothing to worry about. Your acceptance should be a fairly straightforward business. I believe the letters are going out in the next couple weeks. “

“It’s not getting in that’s the problem. It’s the money.” I pause and swallow thickly. “My financial situation has changed, and I’m going to have less support than I expected.”

“I see.” Donnelly rubs a finger across his chin. “And by ‘less,’ you mean…”

“None. I’m doing it on my own.”

“Oh dear. It’s quite a lot of money, you understand.”

I sigh. “I know. I really want to do this. I’m just not sure how to manage it.”

“Well, it’s not hopeless. There may be something we can do. There are a number of graduate assistantships available. Tuition would be reduced, or in some cases waived entirely in exchange for undergraduate teaching duties.”

“Teaching?”

Donnelly smirks. “The Intro to Composition classes normally. You’d be showing freshmen how to properly employ a semi-colon. I’m afraid it’s terribly unglamorous.”

“I wouldn’t mind that. Do you think I’d qualify for a graduate assistantship?”

“I’m happy to make the recommendation. The aid office awards them based on need however.”

I chuckle. “Well, I’m in need, that’s for sure. I’m on my own and pretty much penniless.”

“Then odds are good that you’ll get one to cover at least part of your tuition. Of course, it won’t help with living expenses. You’d have to cover that with some sort of outside funds.”

My mind spins, calculating just how cheaply I can live for the next several years. I’ve taken my father’s money for granted all my life. Now I’m out on a tightrope without a net, with only my own wits and hard work to depend on.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“I’ll email you some information about the assistantship application. You should have a talk with the financial aid department as soon as possible so you can begin establishing your need.”

I smile. “Thank you, Professor. I really appreciate your help.”

“I wish there was more I could do. You’ve got a lot of promise, Ben. I hope you can work this out and be a part of the program.”

“Me, too. I’d better go. I’ve got some other plans to make.”

“Good luck, Ben.”

The words steal my breath for a second. That’s the last thing Hannah said to me before she walked out. She said I’d need it, and I do. Luck and a whole lot of hard work, apparently. Donnelly’s next class is starting, so I clear out. I have a few more things to get lined up before I can fix the most important thing I broke.