Chapter Three

Hannah

A good student would go back to the library and study for chem, but I don’t. I go straight back to my dorm, lie on my bed, and read. I leave the lights off, reading by the soft glow of the twinkle lights strung over my bed, getting lost in the German village in the book.

Hours later, the door opens and the overhead light flips on, making me startle and blink. I feel like I’ve been in a cave for years.

Jasmine stands just inside the door, staring at me. On your average Saturday in the dorms, everyone shuffles around in tank tops and pajama pants, hair in uncombed, messy ponytails. Not Jasmine. Her brown skin glows against her yellow sundress, and her strappy wedge sandals make her legs look crazy long. Perfect, as always.

I have no idea where she’s been all day. She always has these incredible plans, like a celebrity slumming it in disguise as a college student. Was she ever disappointed she got paired with a quiet chemistry major for a roommate? She never acts like it, even though we’re from separate planets.

“Sorry, were you sleeping?”

Rubbing my eyes, I sit up. “No, reading. Wow, I lost track of time.”

“Reading? Is that what you’re doing to avoid chem now?”

My stomach churns— My test is wadded up and waiting for me at the bottom of my backpack. But I can’t think about that yet. I’m not ready to face it again.

“No, I just got this book today downtown, and I got really caught up in it.”

“At World of Books?” she asks, referring to the monster chain bookstore near campus.

“No, Prometheus Books. It’s all used stuff. Do you know it?”

Jasmine wrinkles her nose. “What were you doing in that place?”

“I got caught in the rain. But it’s cool inside. The staff is really helpful and friendly.” My gaze drops to my quilt, and I’m working the edge of my paperback, hoping I’m not blushing. My pale skin is a dead giveaway when I’m embarrassed about something.

“Oh, the staff is really helpful, huh?” Jasmine laughs, totally on to me.

My face goes hot. Shit. I’m totally blushing. “Okay, there was a guy.”

“A guy.”

“A cute guy.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Jasmine drops her oversized bag onto her desk chair and flops onto her bed, facing me. “Describe the cute guy, please.”

“I don’t know. Bookish. Kind of geeky. Tall, dark hair. Glasses.”

“Glasses? Lord, cute boys in glasses are my kryptonite.” Jasmine sighs.

“I know, right? The glasses actually made him cuter. I don’t get it.”

“Glasses are magic.”

“Seriously.”

“So did you talk to this cute boy in glasses or did you just check him out from behind a stack of books?”

Ugh. It’s embarrassing how accurately Jasmine is describing my modus operandi. I mean, I’m not completely socially dysfunctional. I dated a few boys in high school. Okay, I dated two boys in high school who I met through science camp. I’ve never just randomly met a guy on the street. Or in a bookstore. But at least I did decently well this time. I think.

“No, we talked. His name is Ben. He picked out this book for me.”

“Ah, so you dropped everything to read it.”

“It’s a good book.”

Jasmine holds up her hands. “Hey, who can resist a cute boy in glasses? I’d have done the same.” She hesitates. “What about your chem test?”

I groan and flop back onto my bed. “Don’t remind me.”

“Have you told your dad?”

My eyes widen. “No! Absolutely not.”

“Maybe you should,” Jasmine says gently. “He’s a chemist, Hannah. I’m sure he’s been there.”

I cover my face with my hands. “No, he’d never understand how I could bomb so badly on my very first test. I don’t want to disappoint him.”

“I’m sure you’re just adjusting and—”

“I know… He warned me about all that before I came. I’ve been a big fish in a small pond all my life, and now I’m the little fish. I’m not the teacher’s darling anymore. I know.”

What I don’t say is that my dad wouldn’t be mad. Mad would be manageable. He’d be sad. Disappointed. Worried. And that’s so much worse. We lost my mom to cancer when I was ten, so my dad and I are really close. But even more than that: Dad and I are so alike, and science is the biggest thing we have in common. We’ve been doing experiments together since I was four. Science is us. It’s the language we speak to each other.

How can I tell him that the first time I tackled it alone, I failed? It’s like I failed him, too. I’ve failed us. I can’t tell him— I won’t tell him. I just have to fix this. Maybe college has thrown me more than I expected, but I’m ready for this. I’ve spent my whole life preparing for this moment. I just need to regroup and try again.

Tomorrow. I’ll try again tomorrow. But tonight I’m going to read The Book Thief.

Jasmine sighs. “If you’re sure.”

“Yeah, I was just having an off day or something. My first college test. I’m sure I’ll be okay next time.”

“Sure you will. Did you eat yet?”

Eat? I’ve done nothing for hours and hours but read, lost in Liesel’s world as it falls apart. I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast, and now that she mentions it— “I’m starving.”

“Come on, then.” Jasmine grabs my hand. “Your book boy will still like you if you take a break for dinner.”

I laugh and follow her out of our room and down to the dining hall. But I stay up until four in the morning that night, reading Ben’s book.