1.10 Loneliness and isolation

"Writing is a lonely job. Even if a writer socializes regularly, when he gets down to the real business of his life, it is he and his typewriter or word processor. No one else is or can be involved in the matter."

Isaac Asimov

There is a romantic notion that a writer needs to be secreted away, locked in their garret, tortured by their creativity, apart from other people. They are special and only need the Muse for company.

And indeed, you do have to sit down on your own and do the writing if you are a writer. There’s no getting away from the fundamentally solitary nature of that basic task. You do not spend large amounts of the writer's day job in team meetings, schmoozing clients, trying to persuade people to buy your product or invest in your business. The core of what we do involves sitting (or standing) and occupying the space between our ears.

Of course, many authors do engage in social activities as part of their role, as well as the tasks that are involved in running a business. But little of this may be face-to-face and much of it will be done via the internet and email these days. All authors may be involved in marketing, writers’ conferences and conferences, or book signings. These activities are often regarded with a certain amount of trepidation, if not outright horror, by many writers who are deeply introverted. In comparison, extroverts may suffer even more from the solitary nature of writing.

The question is: how much does social isolation affect your health?

The short answer is that it matters a lot.

Most of the research into social isolation has been done in populations that have been particularly prone to the effects, for example, older adults and those with mental health problems.

The medical evidence has been expanding out and looking further into society to see how far the experience of being lonely can affect health. Increasingly, we live in communities that are, ironically, considering our connected world, more isolated than ever before. We may not engage with our neighbors, we won’t know the people living in our street or in our town. There may be many more of us on the planet but, in terms of close personal relationships, connections are diminishing in quality. Of course, modern technology plays a large part in this but the impact of social media is only just being realized. We are in its infancy. We’re not sure how it’s going to affect human relationships and the way we engage with each other in the future.

It is often stated that human beings are naturally social creatures. This seems reasonably self-evident. We tend to gather together and we don’t live solitary existences.

"I've had a hard time finding my tribe for the emotional support. And at the end of my writing days (days I dedicate to writing) I feel lonely and off. I still love it and am dedicated but the journey can be rough."

Maryann Jacobsen, The Healthy Writer survey

Loneliness is as bad for your health as smoking

It has been described as an epidemic. Surveys have pointed to increasing concern amongst people that they are lonely, or that their friends are lonely. People think that life in general is lonelier than it used to be, and there is clear evidence of the damaging effects of loneliness on our health.

One study in 2010 gathered together all the reviews on the health effects of loneliness. In total there were 148 studies with over 300,000 people. There was a 50% greater chance of survival in people who had stronger social relationships. This remained remarkably consistent across all ages, between genders, cause of death, follow-up period, and when they adjusted for initial health status.

This puts the influence of social relationships up there as one of the most significant risk factors for death.

It is, in a nutshell, as bad as smoking a pack a day. And, it is considerably worse than not exercising or being overweight. If you were to choose between going to the gym or meeting some friends, there is an argument that socializing might be more important. You could, of course, do both by meeting up for a walk or a run!

Two more recent studies in 2015 performed similar calculations. They looked at actual and perceived social isolation to try to determine the effect on mortality. And they found that the risk of death was increased by 29% in people who were socially isolated. It was increased by 26% in people who were lonely and 32% in people who lived alone. Again these results were repeated across all areas. It didn’t matter if you were male or female or where in the world you lived.

This is remarkable evidence.

And, remember, the harmful effect is on a par with smoking. There may be a few tobacco denialists out there hiding in the jungle who think the war is still on but they are few and far between.

So it turns out that sitting isn’t the new smoking. Loneliness is the new smoking. As for sitting down and being lonely … that’s not a good place for a healthy writer.

Measuring loneliness

How do you know if you're lonely?

Well, I suspect if you asked most people and they gave you a truly honest answer, they could simply tell you. But as with just about anything, researchers have come up with questionnaires to use for their research. One example is the De Jong Gierveld Loneliness Scale. There are just six questions, with three that relate to ‘emotional loneliness’ (when you don’t have an intimate relationship) and three to ‘social loneliness’ (when you have a limited social network). You can find it online if you're interested in taking the test.

Personality and writing

"One thing I didn't account for working from home was the isolation you feel. It's a major issue and one that needs tackling, and I'm still not sure how to do it. I'm an introvert but I need social interaction, too. You never realize how much you rely on having mindless, everyday chat with other people until it's gone."

Clare Lydon, The Healthy Writer survey

Your personality does matter when it comes to all this. If you are an introvert, then writing is an ideal activity. You are comfortable being alone and spending time in your own head. You may need space and solitude to recharge your batteries. Introverts can find socializing draining and, given the choice, many would rather have a quiet evening talking with a few close friends than partying hard as the center of attention.

It’s common for introverts who attend conferences or meetings to find themselves worn out by the effort. Some introverts may use some alcohol to ease their discomfort at these events and, of course, having a glass of wine to oil the social wheels isn’t a problem. Having a couple of bottles and injuring yourself while dancing the Macarena might be viewed differently.

Extroverts, on the other hand, may have a much greater need for that personal contact. Sitting and writing may leave them feeling isolated to a greater extent than introverts. Finding a community or arranging regular social meetings with other writers (or related to a completely separate interest) may be even more critical to avoid slipping into isolation and loneliness.

[Note from Joanna: If you're unsure about where you are on the personality scale, you can try the Myers Briggs personality test available online. I'm an INFJ, a rare type in the general population, but surprisingly common in writers.]

How being an introvert or extrovert can affect your working environment.

A study published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology in 2001 explored how people were capable of working on a mental task when exposed to quiet and noisy conditions. They analyzed the results according to personality. They found that the extroverts were less annoyed and had better concentration during mental performance in a noisy environment when compared to the introverted subjects.

This confirms previous findings that extroverts are able to tolerate considerably higher levels of stimulation. The introverted subjects were still able to maintain the same accuracy and speed, but it took a lot more effort. They went through significantly more stress to achieve the same result.

Stress is not good for your long-term health and will mean you are at a higher risk of problems such as burnout. This also highlights the nightmare scenario of an open-plan office for your average introvert.

That’s not so much of a problem for many writers, but you will want to consider your daily work routine. You may also want to think about whether you find the noise in your local café soothing or stressful. It is easy to tackle with a pair of noise-canceling headphones.

Healthy writers need healthy social connections

If you want to be a healthy writer, then you should spend as much time addressing your social networks and your social isolation as anything else. It needs to be on a par with giving up cigarettes, sorting out your sleep, losing weight, and getting some exercise.

Jumping onto Facebook does not count. In fact, there is mixed evidence about the impact of online social media and its effect on loneliness. One study amongst postgraduate students found that increased use of Facebook was associated with loneliness. More advice on how to find your community is covered in Chapter 2.13.

"The best antidote is to get out and be with other writers in person. Our local writers center offers write-ins, where people just gather to work. There is a huge emotional pay-off from interacting with other writers."

Tracy Line, The Healthy Writer survey

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