My eyes snapped open and I sat bolt upright on the sun lounger. “Where is Tim?”
Oliver looked languidly at me from behind his newspaper. He usually read The Financial Times on a Saturday morning, but here at the holiday park shop, The Telegraph was the only newspaper he could lay his hands on. “I saw him just a minute ago.”
That couldn’t be true. “You were supposed to be watching him,” I snapped. My eyes scanned the seats skirting the pool. Where was my son?
“He was playing with his bucket and spade.” Oliver said, sounding defensive. “I only just picked up my paper.”
I jumped up and felt the painful ridges from the lounger imprinted on my thighs. “Tim,” I cried, looking around. “Tim!”
I held my hand above my eyes and scrutinised the children’s pool, but the huge crowds restricted my search. Everywhere I looked, toddlers were splashing around with their parents or siblings, their chatter echoing beneath the large glass dome that shielded the indoor tropical swimming pool from the cool air outside.
Oliver leaped up to join the search and threw his newspaper on the lounger. “I’ll take a look on the terrace, you focus on the water,” he ordered and strode off between the tables and sunbeds, over which the holidaymakers had draped their towels to claim them.
I hurried along the edge of the shallow pool, past the red mini slide and the blue elephant, which served as a water fountain, to make sure that Tim wasn’t playing behind it.
I returned to my husband, swearing under my breath. He was standing by the loungers with an anxious frown on his forehead. My voice trembled when I spoke. “He’s not in the paddling pool.”
“Not in the seating area either,” concluded Oliver. “I’ve searched everywhere.”
I didn’t know what to do. Fear clouded my thought process and seemed to incapacitate me. “Perhaps he went somewhere else?” Into the deep end, I added silently.
“I’ll go and check the hot tubs and showers. You go search the main pool,” Oliver said firmly.
I was relieved to be given instructions and promptly veered right, while Oliver dashed off in the opposite direction. I staggered to the other pool, muscling my way through the plastic palm trees. A voice boomed over the loudspeaker announcing the waves would be starting at any moment. Surely he hadn’t ….?
My feet thudded with every step I took, while I repeatedly yelled Tim’s name and searched anxiously around me, looking for a little blond head. I reached the shallow part of the main swimming pool and felt the warm water at my feet. Tim was probably just playing somewhere around here, I tried to reassure myself, but I could feel my heart pounding inside my chest.
I waded through the water as fast as I could, but the resistance of the water caused a slowness that only exasperated my nerves. I shouted out my son’s name at the top of my voice, devoid of any embarrassment. Several children looked up in surprise, but I didn’t see Tim among them.
After searching the entire shallow end of the pool, I realised he wasn’t here either. I felt a wave of panic passing through me as the water began to thrash about in the pool. Where, for heaven’s sake, was Tim?
Two girls, about ten years old, stood next to me and held their hands in the air, ready to dive into the rippling water.
My voice sounded tense as I spoke. “Have you seen a little boy with blond, curly hair?”
The girls lowered their arms and looked at me bewildered.
I held my hand at hip height. “He’s two years old, about this tall and wearing an orange life jacket,” I explained.
They looked questioningly at each other and then slowly shrugged.
I had to restrain myself from grabbing and shaking them.
“No?”
They shook their heads sluggishly.
“Okay, thank you,” I muttered.
I pushed myself up on the side, climbed out and scurried across the wet, ribbed tiles along the pool, towards the deep end. I’d have a better view of the water here, I reasoned. I mounted a small step and kept calling Tim’s name while I frantically scanned the heads, surrounded by teens plunging with violent splashes into the water. My eyes began to feel irritated from straining. Would his life jacket keep his head above the water in those waves?
I scrambled off the step and strode all the way around the pool until I arrived at the palm trees, near to where we last saw him. The artificial, stuffy heat combined with the pungent chlorine odour in this enclosed space was overwhelming, causing a tightness in my chest – I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore.
I pressed my hands against my temples and closed my eyes. Stay calm, Jennifer, I whispered to soothe myself, but the shrill and screams from the children playing seemed to only further impair my thinking.
I opened my eyes again and saw Oliver standing in the distance. He shrugged and raised his arms in a gesture of helplessness, his face pale and haggard.
I ran towards him, panting, “I’ve searched the entire pool! I can’t find him anywhere.” I felt panic starting to overwhelm me – the unthinkable had happened.
“I checked all the showers and the hot tubs behind them,” Oliver responded. There was a look of anguish in his eyes that I’d never seen before. “I’ve been asking people everywhere. No one has seen him.”
I starting pulling at my lip in desperation and felt my hands shaking. The fear seemed to paralyse me. “I don’t know what to do anymore. Maybe we should alert the lifeguards?”
“Wait a minute,” Oliver said suddenly. “What about the playground, we haven’t looked there yet.” He turned abruptly and ran off.
I went after him across the slippery floor as fast as I could, all the way to the entrance of the pool complex.
In the sandpit a toddler with blond curls was playing happily with his back towards us. I didn’t need to see his face to know he was mine. A mother would recognise her own child in any crowd.
I lifted him and pressed his warm chubby body against my chest, my legs shaking with relief. I buried my face in his neck and breathed in his lovely familiar scent. “I am so glad we found you,’ I said, which was obviously a huge understatement. “Tim, sweetie. Mummy and daddy were so worried.” Tears were pooling in my eyes, as he wrapped his arms tighter around me.
“Tim make castle,” I heard him say cheerfully. He probably didn’t even miss us.
He clambered out of my embrace. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand and looked at him intently. “Will you promise never – and I mean never – to wander off from mummy and daddy again? It is very dangerous.”
He looked at me with innocent eyes and nodded slowly.
I breathed a deep sigh, then I put him down. My heart was still pounding behind my ribs.
Oliver stroked the back of Tim’s head. “Don’t ever do that again, son,” he said.
I took Tim’s hand. “Come on, we’re going back to our loungers.”
He seemed to sense the serious mood and walked meekly by my side.
My feeling of relief gave way to anger towards Oliver. He seemed so light-hearted about the incident. “Do you realise what could have happened?” I hissed over Tim’s head.
Oliver gazed silently into the distance, his jaw set.
“You were supposed to be watching him.” There was a note of ridicule in my voice when I continued. “Which entails actually keeping your eyes on him and not reading a newspaper.”
“Sorry,” he said somewhat vexed. “I was only distracted for a moment. There’s no need to go on like that.”
I snorted with derision. Surely he didn’t expect me to let him off the hook so easily? “That’s not a valid excuse, Oliver.” I said, almost shouting by now. “You promised me you were going to make an effort to work on things, but it’s obvious to me nothing is going to change. Don’t you see that?”
“Shhh!” Oliver said, nodding his head towards Tim.
I swallowed my anger and felt a knot in my stomach, as we walked on in silence.
When we arrived at our loungers, I put Tim in his plastic high chair.
Just when I was about to ask Tim if he wanted some juice, I noticed Oliver was putting on his chinos over his swimming shorts. “I have to go,” he announced, darkness crossing his eyes.
I looked at him perplexed. “What are you talking about?”
He slid his arms into his shirt and buttoned it up. “I just want to be alone for a while Jennifer,’ he explained, avoiding my gaze. “I’m heading out for a stroll around the park. I’ll see you back at the bungalow in a bit.”
I stared at him in disbelief, then closed my eyes for a brief moment and shook my head. “Fine. Whatever,” I retorted.
Oliver gave Tim a kiss on the head and walked away without saying a word.
I pulled myself together and turned to Tim. “Would you like something to drink, sweetheart?”