part I
Introverted and Extroverted Kids
Look up synonyms for extroverted on Thesaurus.com, and you will find words like friendly, gregarious, social, and personable. Look, instead, for synonyms for introverted, and you will find the words shy, cold, secretive, and withdrawn. These synonyms represent a list of attributes and behaviors that, at first glance, appear to be something we can choose, something we can change. Furthermore, there is a clear positive and negative connotation to the words, reflecting Western culture’s favoring of extroversion.
But extroversion and introversion are more than a collection of attributes and behaviors that can be easily changed. These terms refer to our biological temperament. And although the more difficult aspects of each trait can be balanced, human beings are predisposed to particular temperaments. It is part of our hardwiring.
Over the next few chapters, I will examine the current neuroscience behind temperament, as well as the pros and cons of both extroversion and introversion. These chapters also take a hard look at the way society has depicted introversion and the impact this has on those hardwired to be more quiet than their extroverted counterparts.
As we begin this exploration into temperament, I think it’s good to get clear on your own opinions about introversion and some of the concerns you have about raising an introverted child. Take a moment to complete the questionnaire on page 3 before moving into the next chapters.
Ideas About Temperament
1. I define an extroverted person as … (complete the sentence).
2. I define an introverted person as … (complete the sentence).
3. I believe that temperament is something you are born with.
❑ True ❑ False
4. I believe that temperament can be changed over time.
❑ True ❑ False
5. I think the world is more geared toward extroverts.
❑ True ❑ False
6. If I answered “true” to #5, I think the biggest difficulties facing introverts are … (complete the sentence).
Once you are finished, take a moment to reflect on your answers and consider the following questions: What are the reasons you picked up this book? What are you hoping to get out of it? In what ways are you hoping to help your children? Take a moment to write down your thoughts regarding temperament and your goals for this book.