As they walked down her empty street toward town, she once again questioned her sanity. Yes, she felt alive, like she had an important purpose in life, but she kept having flashes of places and things she wasn’t even sure existed. In the forest, there had been an intense feeling of déjà vu when Jayden had touched her, and she’d bet her life that that moment had happened before. It all just seemed too real.
For instance, just a few moments ago, her world had begun to morph, as if she had been transported to another time and place. She had caught glimpses of a lake to her right and had felt the soft earth under her feet. A warm summer breeze had rustled her hair, and the sun had warmed her back. Happiness had flowed through her as she’d looked over at Jayden, and her heart had beat a bit faster, as if it had been filled with … love. She’d gazed up at her knight, taking in his strong jaw covered in a thick beard, his kind eyes, and broad shoulders. Yes, she’d fallen in love with him, but an abrupt thought had overshadowed her happiness—they could never be together.
Then, suddenly, as if she’d been sucked through time and space, she’d arrived back into the present. Fear and excitement had replaced her happy emotions as she walked down the streets of her neighborhood with Jayden. It almost seemed as if she’d become someone else for a few brief moments.
Had she and Jayden been in love?
She’d come to accept that he told the truth about being an angel, because it would be silly to try to deny it. If she could come to terms that vampires existed and a pack of werewolves did indeed live in the forests beyond town, she saw no reason to deny Jayden’s fantastic story.
However, she did have a hard time believing this was her second life.
Yet, she didn’t know what to make of these strange flashes of scenery and the feelings that went along with them. It seemed as if she really did travel from the fourteenth century and back to this one.
These brief bursts of a different existence unnerved her.
She sighed, reminding herself she needed to pay attention to her surroundings. Glancing over at Jayden, she decided to find out more about her so-called past life, but nervous butterflies tickled her belly when she considered her next question, one she’d avoided asking.
“In my past life, how was I a bad influence on you?”
He grinned, but averted his gaze from hers. “You have to understand the times. You were a princess. I was a knight. The Sergeant at Arms didn’t like me. I used to partake in some activities that people of that time considered ungodly. He caught me fighting after drinking too much ale, and when your father, the prince, asked for someone to watch over his daughter, he required someone honest, trustworthy, and reliable. The Sergeant at Arms thought the assignment would be tedious and boring, but at least I’d be out of his hair.”
“So he chose you.”
“Yes, he did. However, that wouldn’t be enough for an unmarried man to spend time with an unmarried princess. Your father, the prince, also trusted me because I had saved his life during a battle.”
She contemplated the thought for a moment, trying to envision a battle with such archaic weapons, and she imagined blood flowing on the combat field as they slaughtered each other. Today, whole countries could be wiped out with the press of a button. She didn’t know which choice was the worst.
How times had changed.
“And was our time together a complete bore?”
He grinned. “Now you sound like the princess I knew.”
She ignored his comment. “Are you going to answer my question? Was watching after me a snoozefest?”
His smile widened. “On the contrary.”
“What happened?”
He shrugged. “We became friends.”
She stopped and looked at him, her gut coiling with nerves. “Did we become more than friends?”
As he gazed at her over his shoulder, she wasn’t sure if she wanted the answer to her question, but with all the flashbacks and the intense feelings that went with them, she needed to know.
After studying her for a beat, he answered. “Yes.”
Her cheeks burned, but she questioned whether it was because of his answer, or the burst of desire that suddenly flushed through her.
“Ours was a forbidden romance because of our stations in life, but you and I together were like fire and paper.”
She furrowed her brow. She’d heard of oil and water, indicating two entities that didn’t get along, but she didn’t understand the connotation of his words. “Fire and paper?”
Taking took two steps toward her, he placed his hands on her shoulders. He stared down at her, his dark eyes smoldering as he stood just a couple of inches away, completely invading her space. Her logical mind said she should move away, yet her body yearned to close the space between them. She just didn’t understand her attraction to him.
He tracked her jawline with his knuckle, his touch sending a shiver through her. “Yes, Arabella—fire and paper. You completely consumed me.”
He turned and continued to walk down the street. She stared after him, wondering exactly what that meant, and not sure she wanted to know.
They walked side by side, the town square just about a quarter mile away. His skin tingled at the presence of many supernatural beings, but he didn’t detect a threat from any of them. Thankfully, Evil usually preferred to work at night.
Her question had made him think of their first kiss, and he couldn’t help but smile. The woman had been so exasperating, yet endearing, clever, and funny.
A fortnight passed, during which he and Arabella had spent more time together than apart. While in the presence of others, he pretended not to enjoy her companionship, and she ignored him, as if he were a chair in the room she didn’t like. However, they strived to find time alone daily, and it was during these moments that he found himself the happiest. Arabella had slowly stolen his heart with her smile, her charm, and her humor.
As he lay outside her chamber at night, tears stung his eyes for the love in his heart. It beat so strong for her, his body cried out to hold her, but his was a love that could never be known. He imagined being in her warm bed, his arms wrapped around her so tightly, she’d wonder if he’d ever let go. Surely, he’d bury his nose in her hair and sleep as though he’d died and gone to Heaven, her presence such a soothing comfort to him.
Each time the prince summoned him to his solar for a report on his daughter’s activities, fear coiled in his gut, making him feel as though ice ran through his veins. It wasn’t the discovery of their friendship he feared, but that the prince would announce he’d made a match for Arabella.
However, his troubled thoughts would dissipate each morning when she emerged from her room, giving him a smile that made his knees grow weak. Sometimes, she’d glance around to be certain they were alone, then reach out and squeeze his hand. Other times, her cheeks flushed crimson as she gazed up at him, and he would hold his breath, certain she would stand on her toes and kiss his cheek. He’d never wanted anything so badly in his life, yet feared nothing more. If she ever dared to lay her lips against his skin, he wouldn’t be able to fight off his urges to pull her closer to him.
The princess made him feel like a loyal guard dog at its master’s feet, ready to obey any and all commands given to him. Truthfully, he would not want it any other way.
Today, they walked alongside the lake lying beyond the castle walls, her arm entwined with his. The sun glinted off the blue water like diamonds, and a soft, summer breeze cooled the air. He told himself that if anyone were to ask, he would say he held the princess so she wouldn’t stumble, fall, and hurt herself on this dangerous land bordering the water. It had become his duty to protect her. However, the grassy lakeside was far from treacherous, and his true reasons were hardly so noble. He simply wanted to touch her, to have her close. Thankfully, few people ever ventured this far into the woods, and as he glanced around, he knew they were alone. Large trees hid them, and the path had not been trodden upon in a long time. Weeds and grass bent beneath their feet with each step.
“Did you go into town last night, Jayden?”
His brow creased in confusion. “No. Why do you ask?”
She shrugged, and the corners of her mouth turned downward. “I worried that spending all this time with me would bore you, especially when I know the sort of company you are accustomed to keeping.”
He glanced over at her. “Arabella, I am not certain what you mean. I quite enjoy my time with you.”
She stopped and turned to him, her eyes glinting with mischief. “Ah, Jayden. I have seen you at the whorehouse. I have watched you drink too many ales, then approach a whore, who then took you upstairs. Later that night, after you had finished with her, you had more ale and proceeded to engage in a brawl. It was not the same night the Sergeant at Arms saw you, but a different evening. I have snuck into town many times.”
Heat flamed in his cheeks, and he wondered why he felt such shame. He also questioned why on that particular night, she’d been watching him so closely. He remembered seeing her only once, but never thought she’d pay any attention to his actions.
Shaking his head, he said, “I have not been to town since my assignment with you began.”
She looked out at the lake. “Do you find those women attractive?”
He did not know how to answer her question. Some might be called pretty, but they mainly served a purpose—fulfilling his baser needs and those of many other men. They certainly weren’t as refined and elegant as the woman before him.
“Why do you ask?”
She sighed. “Never mind.”
When she quickened her pace so she walked ahead of him, her head hung from her shoulders as if she carried the weight of the world on them.
Suddenly, she turned to him and reached for the laces of her pale yellow gown. His breath caught in his throat when she pulled the garment down her body, and before he knew it, she stood before him wearing only her chemise.
His cock throbbed in his breeches, his heart racing so fast, he felt certain he may drop dead. Instead of taking her in his arms as he longed to do, he turned his back, and considered it may very well be one of the most difficult things he’d ever done.
He tried to inject as much authority into his voice as possible while he scanned the area for others. “Princess, please put on your gown!”
“No.”
His turn to hang his head. This woman would be the death of him. “Please, Arabella. Please, put on your gown.”
“I order you to turn around and look at me, Jayden.”
He shut his eyes, his body warring against his mind. Oh, yes, he wanted to look, but if he did, then he’d want to touch her. If she let him touch her, then he’d kiss her. If he kissed her, he would want to make love to his sweet princess. If he made love to her, he’d never want to let her go. Her father looked for a proper match for her, and—
“Jayden!”
Yet, he could deny her nothing.
Slowly, he turned around. The vixen had also removed her chemise, and stood before him completely naked. He couldn’t keep his gaze from scouring every inch of her, from her beautiful collarbones down to her perky breasts, the gorgeous pink nipples, her slender waist, and the luscious flare of her voluptuous hips. She had also unraveled her hair loose from its braid, and it cascaded around her exquisite face and down to her shoulders in soft waves. She stood with her head held high, her stare never wavering from him.
Finally, he met her gaze.
His voice barely came out a whisper, mirroring the weakness he felt throughout his very soul. “What do you want from me, Arabella?”
Tears brimmed in her eyes. “I want you to tell me what you think of me.”
He rubbed the ache in his chest with his palm, unable to understand why she tortured him this way.
“When I am married, only one man will have seen my body, and there is a chance he will not like me, nor me him. I like you, and I do believe you like me. Tell me what you think.”
He wondered if she could see the outline of his erection through his breeches. The pink tips of her breasts and patch of curls at the apex of her thighs mesmerized him, leaving words caught upon his tongue.
After a moment, she lowered her gaze. “I understand.”
She picked up her chemise and held it in front of her.
Finally, he was able to speak. “What, exactly, do you think you understand?”
“You do not find me desirable, Jayden.”
Lust, along with rage at what her future held, simmered at the surface of his skin. Without thinking, he hurried over to her and grabbed her shoulders. He wished to shake her, to make her understand the effect her actions had on him. Now, he couldn’t stop the words even if he tried.
“You listen to me, Arabella, and listen well.”
Her eyes widened at his harsh tone.
“Your beauty has me tongue-tied, but it’s not just your outward attractiveness. It is your inward soul. If you were mine, I would love nothing more than to feel your lips upon mine, to taste your tongue, and your body. I would take you to the ground and make slow, sweet love to you, my tongue lapping at your breast while my cock drives into you, then I would turn you over, and fuck you hard and fast. I would love nothing more than to hear cries of pleasure spill from your lips and know I am the one who causes them.”
He stepped back and let go of her, knowing he hovered seconds away from following through on his words. Taking a deep breath, his voice softened as the emotions he’d stifled for so long clenched his heart and flowed from him. “If you were mine, Princess, you would be the most loved woman in the land. I would cherish your body, mind, and soul. But, you are not mine, nor will you ever be. My feelings for you are irrelevant, because I cannot act upon them. You, my love, are a princess. Although I am a proud knight, I am not of your station.”
She stared at him with wide eyes, her chest heaving at his words as she clutched her chemise in front of her.
Glancing at her from head to toe one more time, he wanted to remember every curve, every inch of her unmarred skin. After he’d committed her to memory, he reluctantly turned his back to her, his voice barely a whisper, his physical need and emotions clogging his throat. “Now, for the love of God, put your clothes back on. Please, I beg of you.”
He heard the rustle of fabric, and a few moments later, she came up beside him, taking his arm again.
“Jayden?”
He glanced down at her, barely able to meet her gaze. Embarrassment flushed his cheeks. Why had he proclaimed to love a woman who would never reciprocate? “Yes, Princess?”
“Could … could you please kiss me?”
Bloody Hell, this woman tortured his very soul. His knees weakened further at her request and he shook his head. “I cannot do that.”
“Please. I must know what it is like to be kissed by a man who feels so strongly toward me. And if I am not mistaken, you just confessed that you have fallen in love with me.”
Oh, yes, he had said that. He shouldn’t even consider placing his lips to hers, but oftentimes as common sense and lust warred against each other, the smarter of the two did not always win. This time, his desires undermined rational thinking.
He lowered his head, letting his lips brush gently against hers. Goosebumps traveled all over his skin as his cock swelled to the point of pain, his desire so deep it seemed his whole body would twist up in agony. He grasped her shoulders and pulled her flush against him, and she wrapped her arms around his waist.
Their mouths met again, the kiss so tender and so beautiful, he trembled from head to toe.
How he longed for more. He wanted all of her, and it pained both his body and heart that he could never have her.
Stepping away, he gazed into her dark, glittering eyes filled with excitement. Her breasts heaved with desire as she brought her fingers to her lips.
“I never imagined it could be that way,” she whispered. “So tender, yet filled with so much passion.”
He’d known this was how a kiss with her would feel, but he couldn’t give her any more, no matter how much he wanted to. “Arabella, please do not ask me to do that again. My body cannot take much more of you without release.”
She glanced down at his breeches, her cheeks flaming as she noticed his erection.
He needed to get her back to the crowded castle, where they both must practice decorum. “Shall we head back?”
She took his arm and nodded.
They walked for a bit in silence before she stopped and turned to him. A soft breeze rustled through her hair. She stared at him, more serious than he’d ever seen her. “Thank you for showing me what passion feels like.”
He smiled, yet his heart felt as though it may crumble into pieces. “If only I could show you more.”