The next night, Bella stared out into the dark street from her bedroom, her thoughts a jumbled mess. Today, they’d practiced her weapons training in the forest again, and her back and arms ached. When they came home, she’d had some soup, then decided to go to bed. She waited for Ulric, and the thought of facing him scared her to death. Why didn’t he come to her? Why had he waited so long? She didn’t know what was worse—the anticipation of him making an appearance, or the gut-wrenching fear that he would.
The sexual tension between her and Jayden had only grown, and each time he’d touched her to correct her form today, she’d flushed from head to toe. Yes, the angel was amazingly good-looking with his dark hair and ebony eyes, but it was more than that. It didn’t seem to be new attraction. She’d felt that before when dating—that giddy feeling when she kissed someone, or the nervousness of sleeping with a man for the first time.
None of that existed.
Instead, the attraction had a familiarity to it, one she didn’t understand. The more she thought about it, the more she was around him, she simply couldn’t deny that she and Jayden had been together before.
If only she could remember.
A man walked down the street, and her breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t make out his features, and she wondered if it could be Ulric. A moment later, just as she was about to call for Jayden, a pack of wolves pounced on him and he fought them off. She caught a glimpse of his fangs in the streetlights, then he took off running down the road. The wolves followed him, the black one, whom she recognized as Celestria, in the lead.
She sighed, wondering how she’d become so accustomed to seeing vampires and wolves fight and not become upset in the least bit.
Closing her eyes, she wished she could sleep, but adrenaline continued to course through her body, not allowing her to relax.
Finally, she lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling, her thoughts returning to Jayden. Yes, he definitely felt familiar to her, and he had since the first time she’d seen him. But, did she believe in reincarnation? She had a hard time wrapping her mind around the idea that this was her second life, but then again, she’d never believed in vampires before, either.
Suddenly, the room began to change. She briefly shut her eyes as her ceiling became wavy, almost as if she gazed at it from underwater. As she opened them, her walls became stone, adorned with large tapestries of red, gold, and green depicting pictures of animals and trees. A small fire burned in the fireplace in the corner. Her mattress softened beneath her and morphed into a four-poster bed, and she gasped at the transformation.
Slowly, she sat up in her bed centered against the main wall of the room, shivering at the cool night air upon her skin. A small table covered with bottles and brushes stood in a corner, while a changing curtain hung from another. It all seemed so … archaic. She looked down at her body clothed in a simple chemise, then ran a hand over her breast to her stomach and noticed her hips seemed a bit wider. Had she somehow been transported back to her old life?
Worry and fear cascaded through her, and she realized these weren’t her own emotions at the present time. Could she been feeling what the Arabella of the fourteenth century had experienced?
She rose from the bed and began pacing the room, an action she had absolutely no control over. As she glanced at the door, her heart raced and tears pricked her eyes.
Picking up her bedrobe from the blankets, she quickly slipped it on. With a deep breath, she walked over to the door. Opening it, she found Jayden lying on a cot much too small for his large frame. As she stared at his sleeping form, shadows flickered over his handsome face from the torch mounted on the wall. He rested on his back, his large shoulders hanging over the sides, his sword at arm’s length beside him. Sheer love washed through her. The intensity shocked her, but her heart beat faster, and a desperate need grew within her.
Looking up and down the hallway, she saw no one in the dim lighting.
Kneeling down, she gave his shoulder a shake.
“Jayden, please wake up.”
Feeling his bicep in her palm caused heat to roll through her, once again the longing for him so strong.
She still had no control over her actions. It seemed her two lives had been merged together, and her old self wanted her present self to sit back so she could show her her true feelings for Jayden, to experience what they’d once had together. She didn’t try to fight it.
He sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What’s wrong, Arabella?”
“I need you, Jayden,” she whispered. “Please, come into my chamber.”
His eyes widened, and he glanced around. “Arabella, I cannot do that!”
Desperation coursed through her, and she grabbed his arm again. “You have to. No one will ever know. Please.”
“What about Agnes?”
“I told her to leave me hours ago. I am far too upset to have her around.”
A moment passed, then he stood and followed her into the room. She shut the door as relief flooded through her, followed shortly by anxiety. Would she really follow through with her scandalous plan?
He took a brief glance around, his gaze lingering on the large bed. Finally, he turned to her.
“What is it, Arabella? What has you so upset?”
She couldn’t contain the tears that flowed down her cheeks, and she found it hard to breathe. “My father has made a match for me. It happened tonight at the gathering. His name is Ulric Bayton of House Cromer, Prince of Praegan. I tried to find you earlier to tell you, but you had already disappeared.”
He remained quiet for a moment, and she could see the pain in his gaze. Knowing that their time together would be coming to an end caused an assault of anger to rail through her, but the blow of utter loss in her stomach—as if someone she loved dearly had died—nearly crippled her.
Laying his hands on her shoulders, he shook his head. “I am so sorry.”
A hint of hesitation held her in place, then the need to be comforted by this man overcame her. She pressed herself into Jayden, snaking her arms around his waist.
Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and she laid her head against his chest. They stood like that for what seemed like hours as she cried out her anger and frustration.
She heard his heart beating as he smoothed his hands over her hair. He smelled of soap and scented oils from his beard, a woodsy fragrance that reminded her of the forest.
Glancing up at him, she knew what she wanted. The need to be with him overwhelmed her as the flame of desire warmed her belly.
“Jayden.”
He looked down at her.
“Please, kiss me.”
Shaking his head and furrowing his brow, he said, “Arabella, you are to be wed.”
She took a deep breath before speaking, trying to calm her emotions. “Aye. I shall be wed to a man I’ve only met once. Not the man I’ve grown to know and love over these past weeks. When I have gone to another land, I want to take with me the memories of us, together in every way.”
He sighed and closed his eyes. “Arabella, we cannot do that! What of your wedding night? He will surely look for proof of your virginity. I cannot ruin you, Princess.”
Desperation to get what she desired clawed through her. She had to convince him otherwise. “I do not care. I will poke myself with a pin and bleed on the sheet, or hide a vial of animal blood and use it, if needed. I want you to have my virginity. You already have my love, Jayden. Please, take my body. Take all of me.”
She could see the hesitation in his eyes, but she also knew his longing for her was quite strong.
He smoothed his knuckles down her cheek, and she saw the war brewing within him. Would he take what he wanted so badly, even though it would be so wrong?
Just when she thought he’d step away from her and leave the room, he leaned down and their lips gently met.
“I shall burn in Hell for this,” he whispered against her mouth. “But, at least I will have known you in every way, my love.”
After he roughly pulled her against him, his mouth claimed hers again with such passion, she became light-headed. His erection pressed against her belly, and her core warmed further.
Tentatively, she pressed her hands against his chest, then pulled at the laces of his shirt. As she slipped her hand under the fabric, he moaned and his head fell back.
“Your touch is like a torch to my skin, Arabella. It sets me ablaze, and I want to be warmer. Please, don’t stop.”
She placed her other palm on his chest, nerves rattling her stomach as she caressed the sparse hairs. Yes, she wanted this, but she’d never touched a man so intimately, and didn’t know what to do.
As if he’d read her mind, he looked down at her and smiled. “Touch me how you want. I will not break. Do what feels right for you, my love.”
Feeling emboldened, she reached farther into his clothing, running her fingers over the taut tips of his nipples. The graze of her fingertips elicited a low groan from him as his body trembled. The love she saw in his gaze only mirrored what she felt in her heart. The man who was supposed to keep her out of trouble would ruin her, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
After a moment, he stepped back. “I have spent many nights recalling you without clothing. May I remove your bedrobe and chemise?”
Shuddering, she nodded, and he slowly disrobed her, his fingers caressing her bare skin as he did so. Then, he tossed the garments to the ground.
His gaze gradually raked her over from head to toe, and then finally, he looked her in the eye as his fingers gently traced her collarbone, sending another shiver through her. “You are more beautiful than I remembered, more lovely than any fantasy I could have conjured.”
Her cheeks flamed as he took her hand and led her over to the bed. He motioned for her to slip beneath the blankets, and she did. Her heart pounded in her chest, and butterflies soared in her stomach as they gazed at each other, but he didn’t move.
“Is something wrong?”
He pulled his shirt over his head, then removed his breeches. “No. Nothing is wrong, my love. Mayhap, I believe everything is finally right.”
She’d never laid her eyes upon a naked man, and she stared at him, both terrified and excited. She took in his shoulders and chest that tapered down to a slim waist. The smattering of hair on his chest narrowed into a fine line down his stomach. His manhood jutted from his hips, proud and strong. Her nervousness grew as she stared at it; yet, so did her desire.
She moved over as he climbed into bed, his mouth finding hers as he ran his hand down her torso, over her hip, and down to her knee. As he kneaded her breast, she gasped at the sensations his caresses brought out in her. The desperate longing for him to touch her between her legs became almost painful.
Her skin tingled when he kissed her neck, and a shiver went down her spine. He latched onto her breast, his tongue swirling around the nipple, bringing it to a hardened peak, then he softly took it between his teeth. She arched her back and moaned, feeling as though she would drown in pleasure, and yet, she still needed more.
He fondled her mons, and all of her nervousness disappeared. She spread her thighs wide as he gently stroked her, a feeling building within her lower belly that she’d never experienced before. With each pass of his fingers, it became more intense, and she almost became afraid as it seemed to grow and consumed her entire being.
“What’s happening to me?” she panted.
He grinned. “Let it happen, my princess. Just let it go.”
His lips landed on hers as her body rocked against his hand. The feeling grew stronger and stronger, as if she’d explode from the inside. A moment later, he slipped a finger inside of her, his other digits still continuing their own ministrations. His kiss caught her moan as her body bucked uncontrollably against his hand. Warmth and unadulterated pleasure spread throughout her limbs in strong waves that reminded her of the sea crashing on the shoreline.
After a moment, she stilled, and he gazed down at her with such love, she wanted to cry again. This was where she belonged—with the knight she was forbidden to love because of the circumstances of her birth.
“It is my understanding that a woman’s first time is not always enjoyable, Arabella. I wanted to give you a taste of the pleasure that a man can give a woman.”
She smiled as she ran her hand through his hair, her head still swimming, her limbs feeling weak and languid. “Indeed, it was quite wondrous.”
He left the bed and grabbed a cloth from the wash basin. When he returned, he urged her to lift her hips so he could place it beneath her. Then he hovered above her, holding himself steady with his strong arms.
“Your lady’s maid will not find blood on the sheets if we use the cloth,” he explained.
She smiled, touched that he would think of such things. She certainly hadn’t.
He settled himself into the cradle of her hips, and she felt his manhood at her entrance. The hairs on his chest tickled her breasts, and his weight seemed as comforting as a blazing fire on a frigid night.
“Are you certain of this, Arabella?”
Caressing his cheek, she nodded. “I’ve never been more sure of anything, my love. I want you to have all of me.”
His hips surged forward in a swift motion, and she cried out, the burning sensation intense. He went still again as he kissed her. The hot flame of pain tore through her belly and constricted her lungs as her eyes welled up. A tear trickled down her cheek, and he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.
“I’m sorry, love. So sorry.”
He peppered her cheeks with light kisses while she caught her breath. As she stared up at him, she felt emboldened having given the man she loved something so sacred. Her father may choose her husband, but she had chosen her love, and the man she wished to give her maidenhead.
“It can be better for you, Arabella. Next time, I will take you to even greater heights than I could with my hand.”
Her eyes stung with fresh tears of emotion. “Do you promise me, Jayden? Do you promise we can have this again?”
As he languidly moved his hips, he shut his eyes for a moment and groaned. “You could not keep me away now, my sweet, even under the threat of death.”
The pain decreased, and she gazed up at him. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead; his cheeks turned crimson. His dark gaze never left hers, and she could see the raw emotion he felt in his heart in the dark orbs. Yes, he’d said he loved her, but his stare conveyed more than words ever could.
Moments later, he gasped and cursed, then pulled out and spilled his seed on the cloth.
Breathing heavily, he gently laid his forehead on her chest and didn’t move for a long time. They lay in the quiet as she ran her fingers through his hair. Never had she felt so many emotions all at once—such joy and love from being intimate with her knight; such sadness and misery at what the rest of her life would hold. She wanted to laugh, to smile, to cry and stomp her feet as a petulant child would.
Jayden lifted his head and kissed the tip of her nose. Getting to his knees, he gathered the cloth and tossed it to the floor. Then, he lay down next to her, taking her into his strong arms. She felt safe, loved, and beautiful lying with him, and she never wanted to leave him, but such was her fate.
An idea occurred to her, and she propped herself up on her elbow to gaze down at him.
“Jayden, do you love me?”
He grinned. “More than my own life. You have stolen my heart and soul, my beautiful Princess.”
“And I feel the same for you. Let us run away together.”
His smile faded. “We cannot do that. I am a knight, Arabella. I cannot provide for you in the way you are accustomed, and once it is discovered that we disappeared together, your father and grandfather will want my head. I want more for you than a life of running and living in squalor.”
She sank back against the pillows, frustration coursing through her. She had not given any thought to the execution of her plan.
He turned to her. “Ours is a love that should not be. You must marry a nobleman. My heart and soul will go with you, but my body will stay here in service to your grandfather. I will think of you always, and moments like these will make me smile. I only hope your memories of us together will do the same for you.”
She nodded as she fought back tears. She’d never felt more lost or helpless. How could she simply walk away from a man she loved, and who loved her, into the arms of a man she did not even know?
“Arabella, let us make the best of the time that we have left. We should not despair over the future, but live in the present.”
Jayden was right. They had little time together, so she had to make the best of it.
She turned to him and grinned. “I so love the way you make my body feel.”
A wicked smile crossed his face. “When I take my tongue to the flesh between your legs, my love, I shall have to gag you so you don’t wake the castle with your screams of pleasure.”
Her cheeks heated as shock tore through her. “A man does that to a woman?”
“Yes. It is very pleasurable for the woman, and most men enjoy it, as well.”
As her body tingled at the thought, he pulled her face to his and kissed her deeply. “I cannot wait to taste your femininity on my lips, Princess. I have spent many nights dreaming of it.”
As they kissed, her limbs became weak, and her heart felt as if it very well might explode. However, was it from the deep sadness of knowing that in a sennight, she would be forced to leave her new lover, or was it from the sheer joy his love brought her?
Slowly, the room began to spin again. Her chest heaved and the tears flowed freely. She opened her eyes and found herself back in her room at home.
The television sat on her dresser, the blinds on the windows still remained open, and she still wore clothes. First happiness, and then utter sadness, washed through her, and she took some deep breaths to try to calm down. As she sat on the bed, the only thing she wanted was to feel Jayden’s arms around her. Her memory of what they’d had together became crystal clear in her mind, and she wouldn’t waste another moment overanalyzing it. She had her knight back.
Rising, she hurried to the door and yelled for him.
Running down the hallway, she stopped in the living room. “Jayden!”
He came rushing in through the front door a moment later, the holy sword drawn, his face worried, yet fierce.
Her heart thumped in her chest as her body trembled. This was her knight, the man she had loved with such intensity that it frightened her. The man she still loved.
He gazed around the empty living room. “Bella, what’s wrong?”
Without another word, she walked to him and took the sword from his hand. She stared up at him, her heart beating wildly, her legs shaky. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him down and kissed him. As she traced the hard planes of his face with her fingertips, her body felt as if it may burst into flames as desire coursed through her. He yanked her closer to him as his tongue teased the seam of her lips. She acquiesced as his hands ran up and down her back, scorching her skin through her shirt.
He looked into her eyes, seeming to search for answers. Hope and wonderment shone in his gaze.
“I saw it,” she whispered, her tears now gone. “I saw us together. I felt all of her emotions at the time, and I feel them now. I loved you so much, and you felt the same. It was a forbidden love, but it was so …”
“What?”
“Pure. Us together, our love was so pure, Jayden. I remember us. I remember what we had, and what we still have. She showed it to me, and I feel it.”
He grinned, then kissed her again, this time slow and deep, just as he’d done all those centuries ago. His lips felt so right against hers, his hair soft and silky as she ran her fingers through it. She couldn’t hold on to him any tighter, but wanted to, as she was afraid to let go. Passion blossomed throughout her body, and the same ache she’d felt through fourteenth-century Arabella just moments ago crashed through her. She needed her knight as much as she needed air to breathe.
They stared at each other a beat, both their chests heaving with emotion and desire.
He kissed her again, and then whispered against her lips, “My love. My beautiful princess. I’ve missed you so much.”
Suddenly, all the puzzle pieces of her life settled into their correct places, making a beautiful mosaic of joy. How odd that such magnificent happiness coursed through her in a time of such danger.
She wanted to forget everything, even just for a little while, and be with Jayden, with the man she loved more than her own life.
As if he’d read her mind, he placed his hands on the back of her thighs and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he carried her down the hall to her bedroom, then shut the door to the outside world.