Dad squeezed my shoulder. “Cara, are you okay? You look pale.”
I nodded, waving him off, unable to make sense of why Ryan was at my work. How did he know where to find me? “I’m fine. A little overheated, I guess.”
Ryan’s eyes were filled with concern, but he said nothing.
Dad brought me over to one of the empty indoor tables I’d helped set up earlier that day. He moved a chair for me. “Cara, I want you to meet Ryan.”
I sat, unable to take my eyes off Ryan in the daylight. He gave me a close-lipped smile; he hadn’t told my dad we’d already met.
In the light of day, Ryan’s features were more pronounced. His eyes were the clearest blue. The gaps in my memory of him from our childhood were more solidified. He appeared more statuesque with taut muscles flowing up his arms and pulling his shirt across his chest. I wondered if I should tell Dad we caught up the other night.
“Nice to meet you,” I said, deciding for the both of us. This wasn’t the time for a reunion. I could always tell Dad that I didn’t remember, which wasn’t a complete lie.
“Be sure to show him the ropes.” Dad winked at me. “Ryan, you’re to check in with me every morning for your assignment. For today, follow Cara around to get a lay of the land.”
“Will do,” Ryan said.
Dad gave us a cheery salute and headed out of the room.
I stood up and shoved the chair back under the table.
“I didn’t tell him about the party,” Ryan said. “I wasn’t sure if he knew you went.”
“My parents knew.” I found it easier to be transparent about most of my social plans. I preferred that to Mom’s grounding me for the rest of my life if she caught me somewhere other than what I told her. Most of the time, it was easier to be truthful. I already filled my life with enough lies.
“That’s cool.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “How did you know where I worked?”
“I didn’t. I figured getting a job in town would pass the time this summer. I checked out a few places before I saw the ad for this job.”
A small part of me didn’t believe him, though my instincts were fried at the moment after the confrontation with Kat. Ryan hadn’t done anything to me; there was no reason not to trust him.
He rocked on his heels. “If this isn’t cool with you, I can get a job somewhere else. The guy at the ice cream shop seemed desperate to hire someone—though this job pays more.”
“No,” I said. “It’s okay.” I didn’t want to add more guilt to my life for denying him a good paycheck. “I was surprised, that’s all.”
He smiled. “Me too.”
Heat crept up my neck and I turned away and pointed to the terrace. “I’m working the lunch shift right now. Helping to turn over tables and refilling water.”
He glanced around me at the patio. “Lead the way.”
Ryan followed me around for the rest of my shift until Dad asked him to repair a light fixture in one of the rooms. He was immensely impressed with Ryan’s handyman skills, which added to his pride about making the suitable hiring decision.
Ryan and I kept polite conversation the entire day. He was focused on doing the best he could. It was a relief to me, since I still mulled over the earlier conversation with Kat. What was I going to do in the fall? I’d done everything with Kat and the girls for two years. Now, my senior year, I had to start all over again? Being associated with the most desired and hated girl in school, I was bound to have enemies who would love to rub it in that Kat had dumped me. And how awkward was Kat going to make it for me? She was vice president of the student council, so I couldn’t show my face there. All the kids from the drama club probably hated me after I dropped out two weeks before their performance my sophomore year, so that was a bust.
Joe and Kat had double-teamed me on that decision, saying drama club was for losers. And here I was, years later, and thrown back into that social category. All hopes for a fun and exciting senior year were tossed out like the weekly trash.
“Cara?” Ryan’s voice broke through my thoughts.
“Yeah?”
“Can I take you up on showing me around? Only if you have time,” he said.
Our shift was over and, while I was dying for coffee, there was no harm in showing Ryan around the boardwalk in the process. “I have to be home in a little while for dinner.”
He grinned. “That’s fine.”
“Do you like coffee?”
“Sure do.”
I clasped my hands together. “You’re going to think you died and went to heaven when you try this coffee.”
“Well, now I definitely want to try it.”
“This is bringing back a lot of memories,” Ryan said, then took another lick of his maple walnut ice cream while gripping an iced coffee in his other hand.
He insisted that New England had the better maple flavor in the ice cream and yet still wanted a coffee. I couldn’t help grimacing at his choice of flavor. In my opinion, it wasn’t a top contender, but I wasn’t the one eating it.
“Do you have plans to go to the beach with your brother?” I asked as we melded into the passersby.
“Not at all. He works a lot.”
“What does he do?”
“Some financial thing. I don’t know really.” He seemed uncomfortable with the topic. His whole situation wasn’t ideal.
“I hope I’m not keeping you from your friends,” he said, flipping the conversation to me. “Though I appreciate you showing me around.”
“You’re not,” I said. I didn’t need him to know I was currently friendless. I’d be humiliated if I lost another friend, even though he was only a prospect at that point. Having Ryan, even if I didn’t know him very well, was better than sitting at home alone or with Madison and her gloomy attitude.
“I hope your boyfriend doesn’t mind,” he added.
“Smooth,” I said, laughing.
He grinned. “I had to ask. I don’t want to start my visit here with enemies.”
“No boyfriend” was all I said. I didn’t know why, but I wanted to put a bubble around Ryan and not let him in on the drama that was my life. A new friend, starting with a blank slate, even if only for a little while.
“Good,” he said.
I glanced at him and he stared straight ahead.
The same thrill moved through me like a snake in the grass: smooth with an undercurrent of danger. I’d been over Joe for a while, as I suspected he had been as well. He’d liked his hold on my life even when we hadn’t kissed more than hello or goodbye months before his death. Any time we hung out we were with his friends or Kat. And the last time we were alone I was the only living person among us. Bile rose in my throat and I swallowed it down with a long sip of iced coffee. It tasted chalky on my tongue but kept the nausea at bay.
“So you’re a senior this year?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“You don’t sound so happy about that,” he said.
I took another sip of coffee, trying to perk myself up. I didn’t want to go into the specifics on why I wasn’t ready for my final year of high school. “I like the summer. I don’t want to think about school right now.”
“I hear that. Do you have any plans for the summer? Beach trips? Vacations?”
I sighed. “Not that I know of. Dad’s busy in the summer, so if we go anywhere it would be my mom and Madison.”
“Madison’s your younger sister, right?”
“Yeah. She’s fourteen now.”
His eyebrows jumped. “Wow, time flies. And what does your mom do again?”
“She’s a nurse.”
“At a hospital?” he asked.
“Yeah.” We stopped at the edge of the beach; I placed my coffee on the flat railing top and turned to face him. “You have a lot of questions.”
He nodded and took the last bite of his cone. “I’m just playing catch-up. I don’t remember much from meeting your family before. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
“Good.”
A text tone sounded from my pocket. I grabbed my phone. A part of me deflated. I had my hopes up that it might be from Kat or either of the other girls. It was Mom, asking me to pick up a pizza on the way home. “I have to head home for dinner.”
His eyes narrowed for a second. “Okay.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”
“Have a good night, Cara.”
“You too.”
I walked away and noticed he was watching me. I wasn’t sure why I was so paranoid. The tension in my shoulders eased when I looked over my shoulder again and he was headed home.