The fact that Thursday was my birthday helped boost my morale after the trip to The Spider. I always loved my birthday. The girls had made the past two years the most extravagant ones of my life. The first, I spent with Joe and Kat on their parents’ boat. And last year Kat threw a masquerade party in my honor. Looking back, I knew the party was more for her and her need to get her crush at the time, Logan, to her house so she could flaunt herself in front of him. She would have used any excuse to have the party but my birthday was a convenience that paid off for both of us.
I wasn’t expecting anything fancy this year and that was fine. I did enjoy the extra attention and gifts. I’d been hinting to Mom and Dad about an upgraded phone, and I was pretty sure I was wearing them down.
With everything that had happened so far that summer, I was content with having pizza from Rizzo’s and a homemade ice cream cake that Mom made for special occasions.
Madison had retreated into herself even more over the past few days, so, as the loving big sister that I was, I asked her to invite whoever she wanted to come to the small gathering. A brief flash of excitement warmed her face. Making me wonder if Alice would make an appearance.
When Mom had asked who I was going to invite, I suggested Ryan. She made the face I anticipated, uneasy with a hint of annoyance. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“He’s my friend.”
“Detective Devereaux expressed to us that he didn’t want Ryan around you. And, while I think that is ridiculous, it’s only fair to respect his wishes. What about your other friends?”
It had become hard enough to keep track of the lies I told when concealing our investigation. I decided to come clean about Kat and the girls to at least give my brain a break. “We’re not hanging out much anymore.”
“How come?”
“It’s a long story, Mom. I’d really like for Ryan to come to the party.”
“Only if Detective Devereaux says it’s okay.”
By some divine miracle—or Ryan’s promise to scrub the house from top to bottom and go away with Phil for a fishing trip—he agreed to allow Ryan come over for two hours while under the full supervision of my parents. My parents were happy to comply with the detective’s wishes.
When Mom and Dad went to Rizzo’s to pick up the pizza, I found Madison pouting on the couch.
I sat next to her, realizing that was the first time in a while that we’d been alone in the house together.
“Who did you invite for tonight?” I asked. I didn’t want to mention Alice’s name, fearing another downward mood swing from my sister. She’d ruined enough days over the summer, at least she could put on a smile for a couple of hours.
“No one,” she said.
“How come?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Come on, Madison. Talk to me. This has gone on long enough. Now it’s getting ridiculous and dramatic.”
She rolled her eyes and stared at the television. I grabbed the remote from her hands and pressed the power button.
She whirled on me and tried to take it back but I stuffed it under the pillow behind me.
“You’re such a jerk!”
“Do you need me to apologize again for embarrassing you in front of your friend? I’m sorry, alright? You seriously know how to hold a grudge.”
“She’s not my friend,” Madison said.
“Well, that’s not my fault.”
“Of course not. Nothing is your fault. Perfect Cara is perfect at everything.”
Her mocking tone grated on my nerves.
“I’m far from perfect,” I spat. “And at least I’m not a brat who mopes around after getting into a fight with her friends. I lost all of my friends this summer and you don’t see me snapping at everyone.”
“She wasn’t just my friend!” Madison yelled. “She was my girlfriend!”
The echo of her words hung between us.
“Oh,” I said slowly.
“Yeah, oh.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“That’s the entire problem,” she said, wiping at the tear marks running down her cheeks. “I wasn’t ready to say something. And she was. That day on the boardwalk she figured out that I didn’t tell you or Mom and Dad about her. She told me if I was too afraid then we couldn’t be together.”
I touched her shoulder. She leaned into me and I wrapped my arms around her. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” she said against my shoulder.
I held her there, listening to her sniffling. I smoothed her hair down and pressed my cheek against her head. I hadn’t been there for her when she needed someone to talk to. I’d be so absorbed in my own issues that I missed out on what was going on with her. I silently promised to make more of an effort. I had only one more year at home before I went to college and I would hate if I left our relationship in tatters.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked.
Madison wiped her nose with her arm. “No. I’ve been trying to get in touch with her. I even go to the library where she volunteers but she ignores me.”
“Maybe she’s hurt, too? I think you need to give her some time.”
Madison snorted. “I’ve given her time.”
We heard the rumbling of Dad’s Jeep pulling into the driveway.
Madison jumped up from the couch. “Don’t say anything to them.”
“I won’t,” I said.
Madison left the room, probably to do something about her flushed face.
I opened the door for my parents.
Dad carried three pizza boxes up the walkway while Mom carried two bags of soda.
“Hi, Ryan!” Dad called.
Ryan pulled up to the house on his bike. He got off and opened the kickstand. “Let me help you,” he said to Mom.
I moved out of the way for my parents to come inside and waited on the stoop for Ryan.
“Happy birthday!” he said.
“You already wished me a happy birthday,” I said smiling. In fact, the entire staff at the inn had sung to me during our lunch break that afternoon.
“This is more official,” he said, walking up the steps. He leaned close and for a second I thought he was going to kiss me.
I froze, unsure if I wanted him to or not. We’d grown closer over the past few weeks but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to move on yet. Starting something with Ryan while we were still investigating Joe’s possible murder seemed wrong.
Ryan decided for me and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Your present isn’t ready yet.” He was so close his breath tickled my face.
“’S okay,” I breathed.
He grinned and went inside.
I took a moment for myself on the stoop, a slow shiver moved up my spine. I inhaled slowly, the scent of pizza wafting out from the house filled my nose. There was something else in the air. A sense of calmness moved through me. I had mostly moved on from Kat and our friendship. And, even though Ryan was leaving at the end of the summer, I had a feeling for the first time that I’d be okay.
“Cara?” Mom called.
I swung around and headed inside to celebrate my birthday with those who mattered most.