You may be surprised to learn that I had never driven a car before.

However, I had certainly spent a lot of time watching Granny drive, and I had learned some things.

I knew to lean as far forward as I could. I knew to press on the gas pedal to make the car go. Also, I had a good idea of where the brake was. And steering was easy. I had no problem at all steering.

Several semis blew their horn at me as they went barreling down the highway, and I took this as a criticism that I was not going fast enough.

I blew my horn back at them. And then I gave it more gas. Granny was moaning in the back seat.

“Don’t worry, Granny!” I shouted at her. “I am going to find you a dentist!”

She did not answer me. I believe that she was in so much pain that she had lost the ability to form words.

I had never known her to be in such a state.

I felt a wild shot of joy go through me.

I made the car go faster.

In the back seat, Granny moaned louder and then louder still.

I loved driving!

However, it came to me after some time of flying down the highway that I wasn’t sure how to find a dentist.

There were billboards for real estate and hotels and pecan pies (I love pecan pies), but there were no signs for dentists.

I figured that I was going to have to exit the highway.

According to the signage, Richford was the next town.

Richford, Georgia — it sounded like the kind of town that would have a dentist.

I took the exit.

And that is where my problems truly began.

Driving down the highway is easy. Getting off the highway is not.

At least it was not easy for me.

I knew that I needed to slow down. I knew the brake pedal was next to the gas pedal, and I moved my foot in that direction and then I pressed the brake pedal very hard.

We came to a stop with a surprising amount of speed.

We also did a lot of spinning around.

Granny was thrown off the back seat and onto the floor.

Empty peanut bags and other items went flying through the air.

We stopped so fast that my whole life and everything that had ever happened to me flashed through my head.

I am only twelve years old, but several exciting things have occurred in those twelve years. For instance, in 1975 I was crowned Little Miss Central Florida Tire and received a check for one thousand nine hundred and seventy-five dollars.

Also, that same year, I almost drowned, and when I was underwater, I saw the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio. The Blue Fairy is very beautiful. I don’t know if you know this or not. She is very beautiful and very kind. And when I was underwater and almost drowning, the Blue Fairy opened her arms to me and smiled. Her blue hair was floating above her head, and there was a light all around her.

And then Raymie came and saved me from drowning and the Blue Fairy floated away. She went in the opposite direction, deeper into the pond. She looked extremely disappointed as she left.

I have never told anybody that before — about the Blue Fairy appearing to me and how sad she seemed that I was not going with her. But I am writing it down now.

There is a great deal of power in writing things down.

But continuing on with the highlights of my life: My parents were famous trapeze artists known as the Flying Elefantes. They are dead, and I do not remember them at all. I have only ever known Granny. She has been my mother and my father. She has taught me everything I know.

I have a cat named Archie.

And there is also Buddy, the one-eyed dog. He is the Dog of Our Hearts, and he lives with Beverly, but truthfully, Buddy belongs to all of us — me and Raymie and Beverly — because we rescued him together.

And of course there is the curse. The curse came about because my great-grandfather (the magician) sawed my great-grandmother in half and refused to put her back together again. Onstage. In front of an audience.

This, as you can imagine, had disastrous and far-reaching consequences.

The curse is a curse of sundering. And it is a very complicated and tragic curse.

In any case, those are the important facts of my life, and I considered them all in the long moment of the car spinning around and the empty peanut bags flying through the air.

When all the spinning and flying and considering was done, I realized that we had somehow gone entirely off the road. The car was sitting in the grass on the side of the exit ramp.

Granny was still on the floor in the back.

I could hear a cricket chirping. Crickets are good luck. That is what some people believe.

I sat there and listened to the cricket and thought about how driving was much more complicated than I had imagined. It turns out that many things are more complicated than I ever thought they would be.

The cricket kept singing.

There’s a cricket in the story of Pinocchio.

Most people don’t know this, but Pinocchio kills the cricket right in the beginning of the story. Yes, kills him — with a mallet! Whenever the cricket shows up after that, he is just a ghost.

Can you imagine being the ghost of a cricket?

That has got to be the most insubstantial thing of all.

I have to say that it doesn’t seem one bit lucky to me.

Granny climbed back up onto the seat.

She sat up and looked around.

She said her new favorite word — dentist — and then she lay back down and moaned.

The car was still running. The engine was making some spluttery noises, but it was still going. And yes, we were on the side of the road, but I figured if I applied the gas pedal, we could get off the side of the road and continue on our journey.

And guess what?

I was right.

I applied the gas, and the car went roaring up the embankment and back onto the macadam.

I felt proud of myself.

I continued down the road to Richford, Georgia. I drove with some caution. I kept my eyes open for a sign that said dentist.