CHAPTER 28

Dear Earthling,

Thank you for writing back so quickly. It was very kind of you to e-mail NASA to see if they could assist me in any way. To be honest, I don’t think they have the technology, but it’s the thought that counts. Also, many thanks for the packet of Monster Crunch you sent to me. It may have gotten a little crushed in transit as it was basically a packet of crumbs—unless that is what Earth monsters eat? Anyway, it filled a hole in my stomach and my breath now smells rancid, which should keep any wild creatures at bay.

The vegetables that Andi found had an interesting nutty flavour but were a bit tough, so we ended up eating the Holomunch and most of the cheese puffs, too.

Nights are bitterly cold here—I was glad that Great Aunt Grumbeloid made me a hat after all, especially as we couldn’t get a fire started (probably due to the low oxygen levels).

We were both worn out after the stress-filled day we’d had, but Andi suggested we take turns keeping watch. He offered to take the first one and said he’d wake me up in four hours.

The next thing I knew it was morning—Andi had gone into sleep mode during his watch so hadn’t woken me. I was relieved that we hadn’t been attacked by the local wildlife while we slept, but then I spotted something very worrying indeed—footprints all around us! Well, I say footprints but they looked more like claw prints. Huge claw prints! I don’t think either of us will be sleeping much tonight.

We decided to try and stick to the space camp itinerary as much as possible to keep our spirits up, and as it is When?sday, the rest of the cadets will be taking part in the Cooking Skillz Challenge, which involves foraging for food. As we were down to the last packet of cheese puffs, foraging seemed like a good idea anyway, so we set off to scour the area for suitable snacks.

Andi showed me where he’d found the root vegetables, and I was very surprised—they were growing in straight rows as if someone had planted them. Quite close by was a group of very tall trees laden with luscious looking fruit, but as the trunks were smooth there was no way for us to get them. We picked some more of the root vegetables anyway and also found some small berries growing on a bush (which Andi analysed to check they weren’t poisonous), then we went back to the cave.

Andi stomped on the root vegetables to make a sort of mash, and we made small models of the Empire Space Building, using the berries as windows. Andi took a photo of them (as evidence so that we’ll still get our Cooking Skillz Challenge badge when we are rescued) and then we ate them. They weren’t too bad really, and the food gave us the energy we needed to lift our spirits.

I started talking about my family back on Crank and we both got a bit homesick, so to cheer ourselves up we decided to do the next thing on the itinerary early: sing slightly rude songs really loudly (Andi suggested this, as if anyone was looking for us in the area they would hopefully hear us singing).

We were on the second verse of “There Was an Old Woman Who Swallowed a Pie” when the hairs on the back of my neck rose, because a third voice had joined in with our song! I gave Andi the signal to shush, and the singing continued. The deep voice seemed to be coming from the very back of the cave. I froze with fear, but Andi was extremely brave and shouted, “WHO GOES THERE—FRIEND OR FOE?” in loudspeaker mode. The singing stopped, and something started slowly shuffling towards us. It was a very tall creature that had to bend almost double to fit into the cave. Its body was covered with shaggy brown fur, and it had the saddest eyes I’d ever seen. I’m glad I noticed its eyes before I saw what was on the end of its arms—a big bunch of razor sharp claws! I decided to be brave like Andi and ask it a direct question: “Are you the Many-Clawed Beastie?”

It hung its head even lower and whispered “Yeth.” (It has a lisp—probably due to the multiple rows of razor sharp teeth in its mouth).

Anyway, it turns out that the Many-Clawed Beastie has a name (Albert), and he isn’t scary at all (his appearance has been greatly exaggerated). He explained that the reason he has rows of razor sharp teeth is so that he can eat the tough root vegetables he grows, and he said his sharp claws are to help him cut fruit from the tall trees we saw. Albert also told us that he hides away because if anyone sees him they usually either scream or chase him, and that hurts his feelings. He also told us that he knows where the Space Cadet camp is and that he’d take us there tomorrow!

I’ll write to you again when I get the chance—Albert is about to teach us some slightly rude songs that he’s made up.

Your friend,

Dethbert Jones.