It was Christmas Eve Day, and Mallory wasn’t feeling the least bit Christmassy. The boys were more excited about packing for boarding school than they were for Santa’s arrival. She’d made one last desperate attempt at her Christmas plan. But they hadn’t been interested in joining her to deliver gift baskets to the housebound seniors.
Beside her on the passenger seat sat one last basket. She pulled up the list on her phone. All the seniors had been checked off and accounted for. As she pulled out of the apartment complex, her car headed for Mountain Road as though of its own accord. It was inevitable that she would find herself on this road. She just hadn’t expected it to be today.
Boyd had been trying to make things right since the night he’d shot Gabe. She’d thought she’d forgiven him but at Winter Solstice, as she sat in front of the fire writing the list of everything she wanted to let go of, she realized she hadn’t.
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Not after all those years of feeling unloved and unwanted. It didn’t help that Oliver and Brooks had chosen boarding school over her. It served to magnify those feelings. And then there was Gabe. But she didn’t blame him for not fighting for her. He had another more important battle to win.
Her car bumped along the rutted road, causing her to second-guess herself at nearly every turn. And then the memories came, and she couldn’t turn back if she wanted to.
Ten minutes later, she found herself pulling in beside her father’s truck. The cabin looked the same as she remembered. She sat in the car, watching the tendrils of wood smoke rise up to the purple sky. The setting sun was almost invisible as it slid behind a blue mountain shrouded in clouds. She didn’t have time to waste. She’d promised Teddy that she and the boys would be at church. Teddy was a shepherd in tonight’s nativity play. Yesterday she’d helped him with his costume.
As she got out of the car, she spotted the rusted pink swing set. She had a distant memory of her father setting it up on her sixth birthday. She left the basket on the front porch and went to sit on the swing. She didn’t know how long she’d sat there or how long her father had been watching her.
“I’ve got the tea on. You wanna cup?” he asked, leaning against the porch rail.
She nodded. “Yes, please. It’s for you,” she said when he looked down at the basket.
He smiled. “Thank you.” He was still a handsome man with his bright blue eyes and dark hair. He only had a touch of gray at his temples. “I have something for you and the boys. I was going to give it to you after the service.”
“I have your present at the house. I thought you’d join us for Christmas dinner. I’d like you to come,” she said when he hesitated. “Owen is welcome to come too.”
“I think he has other plans. But I’ll be there, thank you.”
“It looks the same as I remember,” she said as she followed him inside.
“Hasn’t changed much. Your room’s the same; so is your mother’s. You can have a look around if you want. It’s still your home.”
She’d forgotten he and her mother hadn’t shared a room. Her mother had needed a special bed. She remembered him taking on two more jobs to be able to pay for it. He’d been a hard worker. She remembered that too.
She stood in the threshold of her mother’s room, and the memories flooded back.
“I should probably donate the bed. Her wheelchair too. I’m sure someone could use them,” her father said from behind her.
“If you’d like, I could look into it for you.”
He nodded and then walked into her mother’s room. He went to the window and stared outside. Her mother had the best view. He’d made sure that she did.
His shoulders bowed. “I killed her. That’s why I didn’t fight Owen when he took you away. I kept waiting for him to figure it out and arrest me. Then I started drinking to dull the guilt and the pain.” He turned to look at her, his face stricken. “Even if I’d known that Owen had told them I was coming and that you stayed in foster care instead of being adopted, I wouldn’t have come for you. You were better off without me. You deserved so much more than I could give you. I left you there because I loved you, not because I didn’t.” He turned back to look out the window.
She slowly lowered herself onto the rocking chair in the corner. She used to sit on it and read to her mother for hours. She’d liked romance novels too.
“You couldn’t have killed her. You wouldn’t have. You loved her.” The only memories she’d had of him were of a good father and a good husband. It was what made it so hard to understand how he could just let her go.
“She begged me. She was in constant pain. She didn’t want to live anymore.” He turned to look at her, his blue eyes burning bright. “She said if I didn’t do it, she’d get you to. I couldn’t let her do that to you.”
Mallory stood up and went to the dresser, picking up a photo of her parents on their wedding day. So young, so beautiful, so hopeful. “How did you do it?”
“It took awhile. I stockpiled her pain medication. Not so much that the doctor noticed. Then I mixed her up a cocktail and left it on her nightstand. I didn’t give it to her. I couldn’t. I kept praying she’d change her mind.”
“You were there though. You held her until she died. I remember. I remember coming home. Owen was here, and so were the paramedics.”
“I waited until she was gone to call them.”
“I did the same.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
She told him about Harry. “I wish I had done for him what you’d done for Mom, but I couldn’t. He asked.”
“I’m glad you didn’t. No one should put someone they love in that position. I understand why they do though. We wouldn’t let an animal suffer.”
She went to stand beside him at the window. “Thank you for helping her, and thank you for protecting me. Back then, I would’ve done whatever she asked. I don’t know if I would’ve been able to live with myself after.”
“You were my world. I would’ve done anything to protect you.”
“I know you thought you were protecting me when you let me go. I have a better understanding of why you did now. I…I just…”
The gates she’d kept closed on all her emotions for all those years opened. Her father took her in his arms and rocked her as she cried. He was crying too. The room was dark by the time they stopped.
“Come on, let’s get you that cup of tea. Then I’ll drive you down the mountain myself. It’s starting to snow, and the winds are picking up.” He guided her into the kitchen and pulled out a chair for her. He handed her a piece of paper towel to wipe her eyes and blow her nose.
“I’ll need to wear sunglasses to church,” she said.
He smiled, and then, changing to what he probably thought was a happier subject, he asked about the boys and what they wanted for Christmas.
“To leave me, and they got their wish.” She told him about Marsha paying for Oliver and Brooks to go back to boarding school.
“Owen and Teddy mentioned that you were looking for a way to make the boys want to stay. So I’m surprised you’re letting them go.”
“I had a Christmas plan.” She told him about her plan and how she’d come up with it.
He smiled. “Do you remember what your mother used to say about Christmas? Jesus is the reason for the season.”
“That’s what Teddy said.”
“He’s a smart little boy.” He handed her a cup of tea. “And your friend Abby is a smart woman. Jesus is the reason for the season, and Jesus is love. Love is always the answer, honey. Have you told Brooks and Oliver that you love them? Have you told them that’s why you don’t want them to leave?”
“I…No, I never have. I told them I wanted them to stay with me, but I never told them I loved them. I’m not sure I realized I did until now.”
“Maybe that’s something they need to hear.”
“Maybe it is. Thank you, Dad.” She smiled, feeling hopeful for the first time in days.
“And while you’re at it, you might want to tell Gabe you’re in love with him too.” Her father stood up and went to the counter. Then he returned with a box.
“I can’t tell Gabe how I feel about him.” She told him about Gabe’s upcoming battle with Diane.
“Did you forget I was there that day? Seems to me you’re good at standing up for the people that you love. But when it comes to fighting for what you want, you back down. You deserve to be happy. You were a special little girl, and you’ve turned into a special woman. You’re even more beautiful on the inside than you are on the outside. You always were.”
He reached for her hand. “I love you, Mallory. Always have and always will, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.”
“I forgive you, and I love you too.”
He gave her a watery smile and wiped at his eyes. Then he opened the box. “The night the boys broke the ornament, I shooed Gabe off to take care of his sons and me and Owen swept up all the broken pieces. I put it together as best as I could.”
She stared at the ornament, reaching out to stroke it. “This must’ve taken days.”
“Pretty much. But it was worth it just to see your face.” He smiled. “I thought maybe Oliver and Brooks would like to give it to Gabe and his boys.”
“It should be from you too.”
“If that’s what you want.” Outside the wind howled, rattling the shutters, and he said, “I’d better get you home before we’re snowed in.”
“You should stay with us tonight. I have room.”
“I’d like that. I’ll just go pack a bag.”
As they drove down the mountain, they sang along with the carols playing on the radio, and Mallory was filled with the spirit of Christmas. She also had a plan. Her father was right. It was time for her to fight for what she wanted. And along with wanting Oliver and Brooks to stay with her in Highland Falls, she wanted a Maitland and Buchanan Christmas.
“What on earth is going on?” she said as they pulled onto Reindeer Road. Emergency vehicles lined the side of the road, their flashing lights illuminating the street and the stricken faces of Gabe, his in-laws, the twins, and Oliver and Brooks.