THE STORM BLEW itself out overnight, although there was a storm raging inside him. He knew he shouldn’t have kissed her, but he’d been unable to prevent it.
And even though no one else was supposed to know that his engagement to Lady Meleena was over, he’d wanted Jeena to know. And he was glad he’d told her. He was just angry with himself for kissing her.
What had he been thinking?
At least no one had seen them. Jeena may know his engagement was off, but the rest of the world didn’t.
His parents would be furious if the announcement was made now. Hadn’t he done enough damage to his family?
Still, he’d been unable to help himself. When he was around her she made him feel alive again.
Maazin tossed and turned all night, guilt eating away at him.
He was so selfish.
In the morning Maazin went out with Mustafa to survey the damage, which was minimal thankfully. The last thing Petrie Island needed was to have more of the small island torn apart.
Still it was clear to Maazin that Petrie needed more help than he and Jeena could offer. It would take a long time to repair the damage that Blandine had done. Thankfully not many lives had been lost.
Maazin got on the satellite phone in his yacht and called Farhan for assistance, and Farhan promised he would send more manpower and supplies needed to rebuild Petrie.
It only took about five hours for shelters, food and water, to arrive, as well as a relief physician who was a young doctor from Kalyana, which mean that he and Jeena could leave.
Her time was almost up. Farhan told Maazin that Jeena had been called back to Canada now that Kalyana was getting back on its feet. She would be leaving soon.
The thought of Jeena having to leave again struck him with a sense of dread that he wasn’t prepared for. The official date hadn’t been given by the Canadian consulate, but Jeena’s time in Kalyana was coming to an end and he didn’t like it one bit.
You should be relieved.
He should be happy to have this closure. He now knew what had happened to Jeena all those years ago so he would never have to wonder about that again. It had given him the closure he needed so he could move forward.
Really?
No, he didn’t really believe that, because he knew deep down that he would never be over Jeena and that kiss they’d shared last night just proved how much he still wanted her. Even after all this time when he’d thought she’d betrayed him and left him.
When he’d realized Jeena had left he hadn’t cared about anything. And that lack of care had cost Ali his life and eventually set Maazin on the path to right his wrongs and save others by serving his country.
His dedication and passion for that had driven Meleena away and disappointed his parents yet again, but he didn’t care that Meleena had left.
He’d never loved her.
He didn’t even like her.
It was Jeena. Always Jeena.
He still wanted her. Wanted no other, it was just that he couldn’t have her. He didn’t deserve to have her.
And it was clear that Jeena no longer wanted him. She no longer wanted a life in Kalyana when Canada offered so much more for her. It was for the best.
And he wouldn’t subject Jeena to this life of protocol, this shackle of being a member of the royal family.
He wouldn’t do that to his son.
His son. As much as he didn’t want this life for Syman, he wanted to be a part of Syman’s life. Why did it have to be so complicated?
Perhaps it doesn’t?
Maazin finished loading the yacht with the supplies the islanders didn’t need and then saw Jeena coming toward him with her duffel bag on her back and carrying the biohazard container with her surgical instruments.
The duffel bag looked larger than her and he didn’t know how she was carrying it all so easily. He met her down on the pier and held out his hand.
“What?” Jeena asked.
“Let me carry that for you.”
“I can carry it. I’m used to carrying it.”
“That must be heavy,” Maazin remarked.
“I can deadlift over a eighty-five with ease and back-squat with the same. I think I can handle this.”
He raised his eyebrows. “What?”
Jeena chuckled. “You think you’re the only one who works out? I do strength training. I have to be able to manage out in the field on my own or with very little help. Who else is going to carry my gear?”
Maazin was impressed and he took the biohazard bucket. “Let me at least make sure this secure so we don’t have a mess. The ocean is a bit choppy after the storm.”
“Deal.”
Maazin helped her on board and they secured everything and then cast off from Petrie Island, heading back south toward the main island.
Jeena sat beside him on the bridge and that tension that always seemed to be there settled in again. He hated that. Talking to her had once been so easy, but he’d been a different person then.
He’d felt more free. He hadn’t necessarily been free, but he’d felt more free. Of course, that relaxed disposition had caused nothing but trouble. It had caused nothing but a world of hurt and pain that he was never going to be able to make up to anyone.
Not to his parents.
Not to Farhan.
Not to Jeena.
And not to himself.
He deserved his sentence. He deserved the unhappiness, and the best he could do was try and take care of his people.
“I want to thank you again for the work you did on Petrie,” Maazin said, breaking the silence.
“You’re welcome. That’s why I’m here.”
“Would you have come back had it not been for the cyclone?” Even though he knew the answer to that.
Jeena’s expression was sad. “No. I didn’t want him growing up here as an illegitimate lovechild.”
Maazin flinched at her harsh words. “I am sorry. I wouldn’t have let that happen.”
Jeena shrugged. “I did what was best for myself and for Syman. My parents chose to give up everything to come with me. I can never repay them enough. They didn’t have to come with me, but if they hadn’t given up so much to support me, I wouldn’t be a surgeon now.”
“I am sorry. Your family shouldn’t have had to give up so much just because of who I am.”
Tears welled up in her eyes and she looked away. “Thank you.”
“I have received word from the consulate that your orders have been changed and you will be called back to Canada in a matter of days.”
Jeena brushed away her tears. “What?”
“Kalyana is getting back on its feet and Canada has called back its special services. Not to sound too clichéd, but the British are coming.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” She checked her phone and frowned. “You’re right, my orders have arrived. In five days we’ll be heading back to Canada.”
“You’ll be able to see Syman again,” Maazin said gently. He was trying to give her something to be happy about because maybe if she was happy then he would feel happy too. Right now, he didn’t feel happy about it.
Though it was for the best that she leave.
“Patang Island,” Maazin remarked. “It looks so peaceful now.”
Jeena nodded. “I wanted to go back. I wanted to visit all my old haunts before I left again, because it would probably be the last time I saw them.”
“Well, let’s go, then,” he offered.
“What?” Jeena asked, confused. “We can’t go to Patang Island.”
“Why not?” Maazin asked, turning the wheel to head his yacht around to the lee side of the island, where they would be safe and wouldn’t come up on a reef. From there they could take the small dinghy out to the sandbar and he could give her a short time of peace.
Later, he would take her back to her family’s old home. He owned the plantation now and kept up the vanilla production. Jeena’s old family home was used as a small bed and breakfast establishment now, but was currently empty because no tourists had been allowed to come to Kalyana since Blandine had hit, and any tourists that had been in Kalyana had been evacuated.
Not that many tourists took the long trip to Kalyana.
The Seychelles were much more popular, and didn’t have quite the pomp and circumstance that Kalyana and his father demanded.
“Maazin, this is crazy,” Jeena shouted above the wind as he sped toward the island. “Your security team will go bananas when you don’t pass their certain check points in time.”
“So let them. We’re safe. Kalyana’s waters are monitored. Let’s just take this moment. You wanted to go back to Patang Island and we shall.”
Jeena smiled. “Okay.”
He came up on the lee side of the island and anchored in a safe spot where they wouldn’t run aground from shifting tides but were safe from the waves or any surges.
“Why don’t you change out of your uniform? There may be some women’s clothing in the main berth. Farhan and Sara sometimes take the yacht out.”
“That sounds good.” Jeena disappeared below deck and Maazin let out a sigh as he listened to the gentle waves in the shelter of the island and the large reef that surrounded it lap against the side of his boat.
What’re you doing?
He didn’t know. He just wanted to give this to her. He just wanted to spend this time with her. When she left this time he didn’t want her to leave and think about him or this country with bad thoughts.
And when Syman asked about him, if he did, then he would know that he was always welcome in Kalyana.
“Are you okay?”
Maazin turned around and took a step back when he saw Jeena in an emerald-green sari. It was the same color as the dress she had been wearing that first time he’d seen her. It took him right back to that moment.
And his breath was literally taken away.
“You look beautiful,” he murmured.
A flush of pink rose in her cheeks. “Thank you.”
“You ready?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said nervously. “I think I am.”
He smiled and took her hand. He climbed over the side first and down the ladder into the dinghy. She followed and he helped her, slipping his hands around her waist and guiding her safely down. It made his pulse quicken and the urge to kiss her, like he’d done last night, overtook him, but he held back.
He didn’t want to scare her off.
This time on the island was to give her another memory of her homeland. It was something for her to cherish before she left again, and he wanted her to have that untainted.
He didn’t want to make it any more awkward than it was between them. All he wanted at this moment was to give her a good memory. It was the least he could give her, especially when he’d missed so much.
He guided the little motored dinghy to the sandbar and cut the motor when he got close. He leaped over the side into the cool water and pulled the dinghy ashore.
Jeena stood up and without thinking he just lifted her up, gripping her waist and setting her down on the shore. She gasped when he set her down and he stared into her dark, warm eyes, lost for a moment.
“Maazin,” she whispered.
“Yes.”
“You can let go of me.”
“Right,” he said quickly. “Of course.”
She blushed and took his hands in hers. Her hands were so tiny, so soft. “Come on, let’s enjoy this moment of peace.”
“Good idea.”
Only she didn’t let go of his hand and he didn’t pull it away. He liked holding her hand as they walked barefoot on the sand. It was windy, but he didn’t care. It was beautiful out here. The ocean and whitecaps. The sun reflecting against the water and causing it to sparkle. The sand seemed to shimmer like diamonds. They walked over to the lone piece of driftwood that Maazin had hauled up out of the water ten years ago. It was a place to sit.
“I can’t believe that it’s still here,” Jeena said wistfully.
“Well, it was quite large, but I’m surprised it hasn’t rotted away to nothing.”
Jeena smiled and let go of his hand to run her hand along the rough wood. “I’m glad it’s still here. That night...”
“The night we conceived Syman.”
A blush tinged her cheek. “Yes.”
“That was a magical night for me too. I’m sorry that I missed his birth, I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for it all.”
She nodded and sat down on the log. “Me too.”
“Does he ask about me?” It was a question he’d been avoiding and he was afraid of asking it, but he had to know. It was eating him up not to ask.
“He does,” Jeena said quietly, looking at her hands.
“What have you told him about me?”
“I told him you lived in Kalyana and I told him that I had lost touch with you, but that if you knew about him, you would love him.”
Maazin nodded and sat down next to her. “That is true.”
He wanted to tell her that if he had known it would all have been different, but he wasn’t sure about that. He knew one thing—he was sad that this life with Jeena and his son had been taken from him. That he’d never got the chance to ask her to be his. He’d never seen his son as a baby. Never held him in his arms. He’d missed so much.
And you are responsible for taking Ali’s life.
That thought grounded him. He didn’t deserve it. Ali had never got a chance and he didn’t deserve it either. It was fitting justice for his sins.
“Tell me about his birth. Tell me about Syman’s birth.”
Jeena looked at him like he was crazy. “What?”
“Tell me. When was he born?”
“June twenty-sixth. It was a Friday and he was born in the morning. He came out screaming and had all this dark hair, even on his bottom.” She chuckled about that. “I thought he was going to be made fun of for being so hairy, but it was just lanugo and it fell out as he got older. Then he was this chubby, happy baby who slept all night in a bassinet by my bedside. Everyone who saw him loved him.”
It cut him to the quick to hear about this. He’d been denied that precious time. He hadn’t had a chance to hold him in his arms, to kiss his head and sing him to sleep.
“It must’ve been hard on you, getting a medical degree and having an infant.”
“It was. My mother and father were my lifeline. If I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t be a doctor. They knew how much I wanted to be a doctor when we still lived in Kalyana and before I met you they were saving up all they could to send me to England or Australia to get my education, but then I attended that polo match and met you.”
Maazin touched her face. “I’m sorry that I ruined your life.”
Jeena touched his hand, still cupping her face. “You didn’t ruin my life, Maazin. You gave me this great gift. Syman is a wonderful boy and my life in Canada is good. Do I wish that things could have been different and that I’d chosen my life in Canada myself, instead of it being thrust on me, yes, but my parents are better off there than they were here. We have a good life. Don’t feel bad.”
“You are too kind. Kinder than I deserve.”
“What’re you talking about?”
Maazin sighed. “I am the one who killed Ali.”
Her eyes widened. “What’re you talking about?”
“I’m telling you the truth. I am the one who killed Ali. It was my fault.”
It took Jeena a moment to let the words sink in. What did Maazin mean that he was the one responsible for killing Ali?
“I thought it was a car accident?” she asked.
Maazin stood and was pacing on the sand, rubbing the back of his neck. “It was.”
“Were you driving?” she asked.
“No.”
“Then I don’t quite understand how you’re responsible for your brother’s death.”
“I was drunk. I had gone to a party that I shouldn’t have been at. There was drinking and some drugs. I didn’t do the drugs, but I was very drunk and I couldn’t call security to come and get me. I was already splashed across the tabloids and when I called the palace, drunk again, Ali took it upon himself to come and get me. His wife came with him.” Maazin closed his eyes and she could tell that it was hard for him to continue.
“Go on,” Jeena urged gently. “What happened?”
“Ali came, of course. He was such a good brother.” Maazin took a deep breath. “He came and got me. Both of them scolded me, of course, for being blind drunk and at a party I should not have gone to. Not that I did anything, I just got drunk with my friends. The house was up in the hills and while we were driving home a rainstorm hit. It rained very hard, or so they tell me, I don’t remember. What I remember is Ali yelling at me, telling me that I had to pull up my socks and behave better.
“Then there was this loud bang and screaming and we were upside down, before it went black. I woke up in agony because my shoulder was dislocated and I was under the wrecked car. Ali and Chandni were dead.”
Jeena gasped and she could see the pain in Maazin’s eyes as he poured out his story to her. It was obvious that it weighed heavily on him and that it had been traumatic.
“Maazin, you were not responsible for your brother’s death.”
“Of course I was!” he snapped. “If he hadn’t been such a good brother he would’ve sent someone to come and get me. But he didn’t. He came himself because I begged him not to tell Father. I was terrified or... I really don’t know. I don’t remember much about the phone call. Only that I wanted Ali to come and get me. And if I hadn’t been so insistent and he hadn’t been such a good brother he would still be alive. And so would Chandni.
“It wasn’t just his life I ruined. I ruined my parents’ lives. Ali was my father’s favorite. And then I ruined my late sister-in-law’s parents’ lives. They lost their daughter. And then Farhan was made Crown Prince. He had to come back from Australia and give up his life there...”
Jeena stood and walked over to him, and reached up and touched his face. “It’s not your fault. Ali loved you, but it’s not your fault that he and his wife chose to come get you that night. You are not to be blamed.”
“Lady Meleena blames me for the end of our farce of an engagement.”
Jeena’s heart skipped a beat. “Oh?”
It shouldn’t matter to her that his engagement was over. She shouldn’t care, but she did.
“When Ali died I devoted my life to saving others and my duties. They took all my attention.”
“Is that why the engagement went on for so long?”
He nodded. “Partly, but mostly I didn’t care about her. There was only one person I cared about.”
“I cared about you too,” she said softly. She truly had never stopped caring about him.
There had been no one else.
Don’t fall for him again. Don’t do it.
He took a step closer to her. Those gray-green eyes twinkled as he caressed her face. Her body trembled like a traitor to her own mind under his touch.
And before she knew what was happening he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, just like before, and she was lost to him. Her body wanted more.
She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that kiss that had snuck up on them in the office on Petrie. She wanted to forget that kiss because she was leaving and nothing could happen between them, even if that pull of attraction and feelings was still there.
It was off limits.
She couldn’t give everything up for a chance with him. She didn’t come from his world any more. She didn’t want that kind of spotlight on her or Syman.
And as much as she wanted this kiss to continue, she knew that it couldn’t. She couldn’t let it continue so she pushed on his chest to move him away from her.
“We can’t,” she whispered, trying to calm the erratic beat of her pulse and quell the fire that was in her blood. “We can’t.”
“Why not?” he whispered, leaning his forehead down to hers. Their foreheads were pressed together, their arms around each other.
“You need someone to be your wife and I am not that woman. I can never be that woman.”
Maazin nodded. “I understand. I’m sorry for kissing you. It’s just that around you, I lose myself. It feels like all those years ago.”
“I know, but it’s not.” She tried not to let the tears stinging her eyes spill down her cheeks. She wanted to tell him that she wanted to be his and that she’d never got over him, but that was selfish. Syman had a life in Canada. He had friends and loved his school, his hockey and his home.
Her parents had given up so much so that they could go with her and help her. Now they were prosperous and she couldn’t ask them to give it all up to chase a whim.
Her mother had tried to warn her all those years ago that getting involved with Maazin was a bad idea, but she had been young and foolish then...
“You shouldn’t get involved with the Prince,” her mother said quietly. “Nothing good can come from that.”
“What do you mean? He loves me. I know he does.”
Her mother took her hands. “I have no doubt. Who could not love you? You are beautiful. But you are just a farmer’s daughter and he is a prince.”
“But Kalyana is a free country and he’s the third son.”
“Jeena, please be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt...”
She should’ve listened to her mother back then. If she had she wouldn’t have fallen in love with a man who was off limits. A man who had ruined her for all others. But she had been young and so foolish.
She wasn’t going to make that mistake again. When she’d been sent to Kalyana, she’d promised herself that she wouldn’t let herself be sucked in again.
She had to remind herself of that.
“We should go,” she said, stepping away from him. It was safer to put some distance between the two of them.
Maazin nodded.
Jeena turned and walked back to the dinghy. There was a cool wind and it caused a shiver to run through her. The sun disappeared behind a cloud and suddenly things didn’t seem so rosy and lovely on Patang Island.
It had lost its sparkle and magic.
It just reminded her of a life with a person she loved that she could never have. The best thing she could do now was walk away and try to just forget about Kalyana and Maazin’s kisses, even if she knew that was going to be a hard, hard thing to do.
An impossible thing to do, but it was for the best.